26Chapter 13: Foolish Notions
The haunting melody of the Rains of Castamere played in the darkness of Ned Stark's dream. Catelyn was dining near Roose Bolton in some dim great chamber. Catelyn grinned faintly before staring at Roose's wrist that bore chainmail.
Suddenly Catelyn leaped from her seat, fear raging in her eyes.
Ned rushed forward. He needed to save her. Before Ned could reach her, he jumped into the open air. Catelyn was falling from an open hole in the sky; her body spun around as fast as a windmill. Ned struggled to catch her. In the distance he heard the hum of a Riverland hymn, The Soft Whoosh of Stoic Stream. Right as he grabbed her left wrist, Ned woke up to a far worse song.
"Kitty, kitty, a knife in his gut. I took out its baby and cut that kitty up! Squeak. Squeak! Kitty in pain!" Joffrey Baratheon sang loudly in the hallway. "Purr. Purr. Kitty blood fall to the floor. Yay! Yay! Stag-lion Prince wins again!"
"Joffrey, sweetheart. Can you please quiet down?" Cersei Lannister told her son. "I need a word with the Lord Hand."
"But I make up great song! Need to share with everyone!" The prince whimpered; what a weak-willed child. "Please, Mother."
"How about you do it downstairs. I am sure the Innkeeper would love to hear it too."
"Yes! He ruin my lunch. Way too salty!" The stomping of footsteps echoed across the corridor.
No. Not again. Ned heard enough from the Queen. Every few hours since the Lannister guards locked Ned in this room, Cersei would return to share her latest lament or prideful story. The first time she rambled about her bedding with Robert. During the second and third she decried Robert's cock and weight and vulgar descriptions that Ned rather forgot. The last time was the worst. She shared how proud she was of her plan to kill Robert with an animal attack, and that she would force Ned to choose between accepting Joffrey's reign or being deemed a traitor.
Ned needed to figure a way out. The Lannisters needed to be held accountable. He tried for hours to squeeze his hands and feet between the chains. He tried hopping to the window and opening it with his head. The Lannisters were foul creatures. His urge to protect them from Robert's wrath was steadily dwindling.
Hopefully Jory or Alyn or one of his other guards will find him. Maybe Catelyn would return. Cersei had chosen to lock him up in the inn where he met with Catelyn. Ned hoped his dream somehow signaled that he would see his wife today. Catelyn would show the lioness the fierceness of an honest woman.
Cersei walked in, smirking proudly. "It won't be much longer. Robert will soon be gone, and Joffrey will take his place! Have you decided to accept what's coming?"
"Joffrey will never be my King." Ned replied. "Robert will not fall for your scheme. Someone will find me, and I will share with the King that you committed adultery, and that you and your brother kidnapped me."
Cersei's eyes darkened and her lips pursed. "Not that you would believe it, but my brother is not involved in this. I wanted him to be, but my brother has always been a man of foolish notions. As a boy he babbled on and on about the stories and the honor of knights. It didn't take long for that foolishness to darken under that madness of the Mad King's Court. Pity, he kept the foolish notion that our brother was not a monster. And now he has the foolish notion that you would thank him, or he would somehow regain his honor back from helping you. What I know is that foolish notions are the death of all men."
This woman truly loved the sound of her own voice. "There is no need for you to lie for him. I know that you Lannisters twins work together. You both have no secrets from each other."
"We used to," Cersei sniffed. "But then Jon Arryn died, and everything changed."
"My wife and I thought you were involved with Jon's death," Ned shared. While Ned knew Lord Baelish was the culprit, he was curious to see what Cersei would claim. "Were you?"
Cersei blinked. "If Jaime's right, it was Petyr Baelish. My little bird told me all about your little meeting."
"You had a spy listening in."
"I needed to know what my brother was up to!" Cersei sniffed again. "Good thing I did, or I would never have learned that you were aware of my rendezvous with your guardsman."
"You killed Jacks. You betrayed your King and husband." Ned said firmly. "I was going to warn you and give you a chance to prepare for your punishment."
Cersei threw back her head and started crackling. "My punishment! By the Mother, what about Robert? What about all the men who fuck whores and hurt their wives without any repercussions? Why is it only wives and women that suffer if they take a lover. What does having a cock do make them have everything you men don't deserve?"
Ned pitied this woman. She was unable to accept her place. "It may be unfair, but it's a wife's duty to be faithful to their husband. You, more than anyone, are supposed to hold your duty sacred for Robert is the King. You disgrace the realm with your foul actions. Worse, you do not care that you killed a man to keep your secret. Jacks was a good man."
"I could kill you now, but I haven't." Cersei's eyes turned baleful.
"Why haven't you?" Ned knew it was risky. Still, he needed to understand.
"Why would I risk an all-out war? We can keep what I did secret after the coup's finished, but I can't return you from the dead."
"I won't keep this secret."
"It won't matter. Once Joffrey's king, we will control the narrative." Cersei's cheeks burned red, and she leaned forward. "As I told you before, you can either work with us or be deemed a traitor."
Ned leaned back; anything to get away from her warm breath. "It won't work. Robert, Renly, or my men will find me."
Cersei laughed. "You still do not understand. At this very moment, Robert and Renly will either fight and kill each other, or the Gold Cloaks will kill them both. Ser Preston agreed to kill all your men as penance for threatening my brother. All your friends and allies in King's Landing will be dead!"
She must be lying. Robert needed to live. His friend deserved to punish his wife for her treachery. "You will not succeed. Robert is stronger than you think."
Cersei stood up and walked towards the window. "I pity you, Lord Stark. Your loyalty to a worthless man is pathetic."
"You must care for him somewhat. He is a decent person. He's your husband. The father of your children."
Cersei laughed. "My children are all mine. They will never be that fat oaf's."
A big reason Ned had wanted to warn Cersei was because he recognized the possibility of the children being illegitimate. Were her words confirmation?
"I had wondered if you committed adultery before. Do you mean to say that the children are not Roberts? Are you really trying to put illegitimate children on the throne? That is beyond the pale." Ned shivered at the thought. Would the Queen truly defile the Baratheon reign?
The Queen inhaled and strutted back to tower over him. "Beyond the pale. What is truly beyond the pale is a King slapping his wife whenever she disagrees with him. What is beyond the pale is a King who whores and leaves the ruling and decision making to idiots. What is beyond a pale is my Jaime betraying the person they said they would love forever for a man who could care less for him."
When Ned watched the Kingslayer and Tommen Baratheon train together in Winterfell, he had recognized their similarities were beyond their golden coloring. Their noses were both very straight. Cersei had a more upturned nose like Robert's. Ned had thought himself thinking critically about something simple. Why did it matter?
Cersei could be speaking about sisterly love. Ned needed the truth. "Jaime's their father."
"Yes. He's my children's father." The Queen appeared oddly ecstatic as if she was waiting for him to accept the truth. Did she not see the foolishness in her actions? She continued with telling him about how much a better person her brother was than Robert. Her stories brought him back to his own observations of Robert choosing to hunt and spend time with whores instead of minding the children.
"I appreciate your honesty."
Cersei laughed. "You Starks, always so kind. I have no need for your false sympathy." She glanced out the window and muttered, "He should be here with Myrcella by now." She bowed her head. "I hope there is no hard feelings. I'm simply doing what's best for my children."
"I assure that no matter how hard you and the Kingslayer try to justify it enough, it will never be right." Ned replied.
Cersei grumbled. "Spoken like a man. I wonder how you would feel if you were the woman married to Robert. Of course, he would probably actually love you. He's obsessed with you. There's not a day when I don't get to hear about the great and kind and wonderful and saintly Ned Stark."
"You can let me go. I can help you get out of the city. You and your children," Ned offered.
"And let Robert win. Never." Cersei roared.
Why did she refuse the way out he provided? If she had kidnapped most anyone else, they would provide no such recourse. "I implore you to consider the ramifications of your actions. It is not too late."
Cersei turned from the window. She flung her wavy golden hair over her left shoulder as she returned to the seat near the featherbed. "You have forgotten who is in control here. I determine your fate, Lord Stark. You have a choice to make after Robert and Renly are dead. You can either accept Joffrey as King or die. Your children need you. They are waiting for you. You can leave this messed up city behind."
"Tommen is my family's ward. Do you really think they will give him back after they discover what you and your brother did? Where is he by the way?"
Cersei frowned; her eyes blackened. "Why did you have to take my son? You didn't need to keep him up in the frigid North. You could have brought your filthy, miscreant daughter down here with my Tommen until their wedding."
"King Robert made that choice when we mistakenly believed Joffrey was responsible for the attempted murder."
Cersei spit at his face. "As if Joffrey would ever hurt his little brother."
Ned heard differently. Robert had recounted rumors of Joffrey killing some of Tommen's pet cats in front of him. Renly shared how he often had to stop Joffrey from trying to beat Tommen with a practice sword and once a hammer.
Speaking of Joffrey, the boy ran into the room, breathing heavily. "Mother. Go. Go! Don't let them hurt me!"
Sounds of banging footsteps resonated in the hallway. The door swung open, and several Gold Cloaks entered the room. Ned felt a surge of relief. His nightmare was almost over.
"Finally." Cersei smirked. "Where's Myrcella? You should have been here with her hours ago. What came of Robert and Renly? Are they finally gone?"
"Your overconfidence continues to shock me, your Grace." Ned's stomach churned as Petyr Baelish pranced in like an overexcited gazelle. "Seize her and the boy." Two of the Gold Cloaks grabbed the Queen's arms. As she passed Baelish, the smirking scoundrel whispered something in her ears.
"I'll get you for this! You are ruined, Littlefinger! You whore-fucking, crooked-nosed knave." Cersei continued to shout profanities and threats as the Gold Cloaks forced her and Joffrey out of the room.
Ned wished to return to minutes ago. At least then he was far away from the man responsible for the death of his dearest mentor and father figure.
Baelish nodded sadly. "I am sure you heard the foulest rumors from the Lannisters. None of it is true. I'm not the one who killed Jon Arryn. I promise you, Lord Stark."
"You ordered his death. You tried to have Bran and Tommen killed," Ned said sharply. "Do not lie to me, Baelish."
"As to that, I also promise I'm not responsible." Baelish's hands started shaking; the movements were too precise to be real. "Preston, my dear friend, was scared. The Kingslayer wrote the letter you found and then threatened to kill Preston if he did not confess to writing it. That's the truth. I swear upon the Old Gods and the New."
He would not bear the worthless Kingslayer any more thought. His niece, on the other hand, deserved his support. "I know your responsible. I saw the fear in my niece's eyes as she talked about you."
"That little bastard." Baelish snorted. "You have a soft spot for bastards, I see. So blind to your own bastard's villainy, my dear Catelyn has told me. We'll let me tell you your niece is as untrustworthy as they come. A master manipulator like Brandon. I am sure your brother would be proud of his progeny."
"She's a young woman. The draper's wife told me about how you put a knife against her throat." Ned shouted and his arms struggled against his chains.
Baelish scratched his chin. "There's nothing I can say that will return us to our old friendship. I am astonished how badly the Kingslayer, and that terrible girl have messed up your mind. Of all people, the one man you hate the most and a girl that wishes the greatest pains to our lovely Cat. The girl has threatened to kill her dear grandfather many times in my presence."
Baelish must be lying. Catelyn was safe with their niece. Still, Ned feared the truth of Baelish's statement. He remembered how unkind Perenna had acted towards his wife. Perenna must despise what Hoster Tully did to sweet Lysa.
Several Gold cloaks came into the room. The one in front said, "Lord Baelish, Lord Stark, we should leave before it becomes too dark. I fear the Queen might try to escape if we wait too long."
Baelish nodded. "I will lead the carriages to the Red Keep. Please untie the Lord Stark and provide any refreshments he requires." The monstrous man winked at Ned before swaggering out.
Ned needed to relax. Catelyn was safe with Brandon's bastard for Baelish was a liar who lived on inciting fear. Everything would work out once he spoke to Robert. The King will surely arrest Baelish for his crimes.
Throughout his horse-back ride to the Red Keep, Ned prepared himself to find an over-worried Robert when he returned. Ned knew he would remain unsettled until he reunited with his oldest friend.
At the entrance of the castle, Ned watched as Cersei, who was still ranting and raving about betrayal and dead men, tried to brush past some of the Gold Cloaks. Joffrey was whining as usual.
Baelish smirked as he walked next to Ned. "You should be thanking me," Baelish whispered. "That could be you if I was as treacherous as you claim I am."
Ned refused to deem that disguised threat with an answer.
While three Gold Cloaks had taken Cersei and Joffrey to some rooms in Maegor's Holdfast, the others led Ned and Baelish to the throne room.
Ned struggled to smile as he walked in. Better to not cause Robert any further distress. As Ned glanced around the room, he noticed Robert was absent.
Unexpectedly, Renly beamed down over Ned from his seat on Robert's throne. "I am glad to see you alive and well, Lord Stark. My deepest apologies for what the Lannisters put you through."
Behind Renly, the knight Loras Tyrell groaned; Ned remembered meeting with the handsome young man when he returned to the capital. Then, the man appeared like one of the princes from one of Sansa's favorite fairy tales. Today, he looked like a broken doll. Ned recognized the red bulges on Loras's skin and his fractured arm. The wounds reminded Ned of what happened to all those that Robert fought with his warhammer.
"I appreciate your concern, Renly." Ned smiled at his friend's brother, telling himself to not worry too much. Renly should have a good explanation for Loras's wounds. Cersei had to be lying about Robert and Renly fighting each other. While Ned found Renly arrogant and blusterous, he enjoyed his company the most out of everyone in Robert's small council. Unlike the rest, Renly was kind to him and took the time to give Ned advice he found reasonable. "Where is Robert?"
"A great deal has changed since your disappearance." Renly shared. "Robert assembled the Small Council today to discuss the possible culprits. I tried to get Robert to see reason; that the Lannisters were responsible. That the Lannister twins spawned incestuous children and disguised them as Robert's. Yet Robert refused to see the truth. I knew then that it was time for a regime change."
By the Old Gods, Ned should have realized the truth as soon as he entered the throne room. "You took advantage of my absence to betray your brother, the true King of Westeros." Ned said sharply. "You used the Lannisters' betrayal to your own advantage. You had no right to take the throne from him."
Renly's grin flashed to a frown before returning to his facade. "I understand you're saddened by the change of circumstances during your kidnapping. Yet, I did what needed to be done, what we all were so afraid to do. You know as well as I do that Robert was ruining the realm. He was letting it get into debt and he was more focused on whoring than running the kingdom. In the past ten years he only greeted the public a total of five times and one time he almost damaged our relationship with the Riverlands when he insulted the Freys. We are in a debt that we will never recover from. He refused to see the Lannisters' treachery. I could go on and on about his failures, but I know the one that's most important to you. Robert failed to investigate Jon Arryn's mysterious death."
Ned wanted to throttle Renly at that moment. "You are worse. Here you stand with Jon Arryn's murderer, Lord Petyr Baelish. Ser Preston Greenfield told me…"
"The Kingslayer told us all about that lie." Renly stuck up his nose. "Yet I see no proof. His sister dared to kidnap you. Why would you trust his lies?"
"I don't trust him," Ned replied. He trusted Greenfield's confession and Perenna's fear towards Lord Baelish. "I simply know that Greenfield was scared of Lord Baelish because he feared the Master of Coin harming his daughter."
"Or was the fear you saw actually fear of the Kingslayer." Renly smirked.
"We could ask Greenfield," Ned offered.
Renly gave a dejected look that Ned was certain was false. "That is impossible unfortunately. Ser Preston was killed. His dead body and many of your men lie dead in the room where I held the Lannister bastard, Myrcella. I reason that the Kingslayer killed them and took his daughter to ensure Ser Preston never reveals the truth of the Kingslayer killing Jon Arryn."
Ned blinked. "Dead?" His poor men: Jory, Harwin, Alyn, Josef, so many dedicated men. How far did Lord Baelish go to accomplish whatever he wanted?
"Yes. We will, of course, give the honorable Kingsguard knight a funeral that he deserves." Renly bowed his head. "I am sure he would appreciate a eulogy of repentance from you."
Ned was at a loss for words. Was Renly implying that Ned was at fault for the death of the man who ordered the attempted murder of his son?
Baelish whispered something in Renly's ear. The Baratheon let out a mischievous smile. "As I was saying, I wanted Robert to remain king, but the Lannisters forced my hand. I offered Robert to marry Lady Margaery Tyrell to keep the realm in order, but he refused. While he recognizes Cersei's adultery and is willing to denounce her, he does not believe me when I say the Lannister twins spawn bastards. He still plans to name Joffrey as heir."
"Cersei confirmed the truth to me while I was her prisoner. I will tell Robert the truth about the children," Ned replied, hoping he was not making a huge mistake. He hated the risk of causing great harm to the three children. If the false Baratheon's were harmed, Ned would be no better than Tywin Lannister who ordered the deaths of Princess Elia and her children. "As long as you return the throne to Robert as he is the rightful King of Westeros."
"I won the throne by right of conquest," Renly said. "You may not like the results, but I am now King. As Robert once rose to his Kingship from defeating the Mad Targaryens, I rose to be King from defeating Robert in battle."
"You are bringing instability to the Kingdom," Ned said sharply. "You harmed your own brother. How much is this you and how much is this Lord Baelish whispering in your ears? Do you not see that he is ruining any honor you once held?"
"I owe him a great debt for Lord Baelish made sure the Gold Cloaks were on my side." Renly smiled pompously. "He is helping me greatly. He's the reason I am here today, preparing for my coronation that could have fallen to Lannisters' bastards or the dull Stannis if I had not prepared for the Lannisters' eventual coup-d'état."
They were talking around in circles. Ned hated this part of politics. He lacked any idea on how to convince Renly to give up the throne. "I do not know how to stop you from this giant mistake you are making. I simply implore you to give up and let King Robert return to ruling as he has done the past seventeen years."
"Or the next seventeen years can be better." Renly stood up, a fierce smile on his face. "As King, I plan to give prosperity to Westeros. I plan to lead my small council instead of whoring and drinking. Please do not think of this as a loss, Lord Eddard, I believe in you. I believe you are the Hand the kingdom deserves. You are a wise and moralistic man who could guide me well. I offer you now to be my Hand."
Finally, an offer that Ned knew the answer to. "No."
"Take the night to think about it." Renly gazed towards Lord Baelish. "Or I'll consider putting Lord Baelish as my Hand."
Ned finally knew what Lord Baelish gained from causing Jon Arryn's death. It allowed him to manipulate Cersei Lannister and Renly Baratheon into doing their own plots that could lead him into running the kingdom. It was so obvious; how was Renly so blind, or did Renly recognize the truth and chose to enticed by power to care?
The Gold Cloaks led Ned down the guest corridor of the castle. After a few more minutes of debate, Renly had decided to end their discussion. As Ned expected, Robert's brother still refused to acknowledge the danger of overthrowing the rightful king and trusting Lord Baelish. Instead, Renly had decided to end their discussion, and let Ned spend the night in the same suite as Robert.
"As much as I know you both must hate me now, I do care for the two of you. After the horrors the Lannisters put you through the past few days, I will give you a boon of a night with my dear brother." Renly had said pompously. He had then paused as if he was expecting a thank you. Ned simply gestured to the Gold Cloaks and asked them to lead him to Robert.
Ned now passed by shaking servants and bleeding Gold Cloaks. He wished he could see the steadfast Jory, or a laughing Harwin. The sight of any of his guardsmen would bring him relief. But all the people Ned passed were strangers. His heartbeats were a relentless force that sped up in his chest. Was Renly telling the truth about the Kingslayer killing his guardsmen? They were all sons of the North. Some were fathers. They were all good people who deserved to live. How could he restore order to the capital without his men?
They reached a door guarded by two men whose faces were covered by horned helmets. "Do you not recognize that you are forgoing your duty to the head of House Baratheon?" The words came out of his mouth like wildfire, unplanned and vengeful.
"King Renly is our true leader. Robert never done anything for us."
"Yes, me lord, he left our families to starve when he refused to offer my home any grains after the terrible harvest."
"Wasted it all on another tourney feast." The other Stormlander said bitterly.
"King Renly and the future Queen Margery promise to bring food to all their people, not just ye Lords and Ladies."
Why did they not realize that Renly offered empty promises? "Renly is not the answer. He betrayed his own brother. All he wants is the glory of the title of king."
"Enough." Ser Barristan Selmy walked over to them. An honorable man finally appeared.
"Ser Barristan," Ned greeted warmly. "Renly is attempting a coup. We need to free King Robert and arrest Renly and his accomplices."
"King Renly won the throne by right of conquest." Ser Barristan's voice strained. His rapidly blinking eyes looked red. "I'm sorry Ned, but Robert's rule has ended, and you must see that it's about time that occurred."
"He's allied with Lord Baelish- the man who ordered the murder of Lord Arryn."
Ser Barristan gave him a pitying look. "Ser Jaime manipulated you. You must recognize that his words were false."
"I know not to trust the Kingslayer. I'm thinking more about Lord Baelish's claim that the imp owned the dagger of the assassin who tried to murder my son. An obvious attempt to try to get me to go after the Lannisters. I'm listening to Ser Preston's confession that is aligned with other facts."
"What facts?"
"If you come in with me, I will tell you and King Robert."
"I wish I could. I have duties to attend to." Ser Barristan looked pointedly at him.
"Your duty is to King Robert, not his brother." Ned said sharply.
"I am sorry." Ser Barristan lowered his head.
Ned knew that; he could see the pain this was causing the knight. Ned also knew that Ser Barristan lacked any true loyalty to Robert. "You were just waiting for a reason to set aside King Robert. You all were." How many times did Ser Barristan and the small council members ridicule the King in front of Ned? How many times did they disrespect the man who freed them all from the Mad King? Too many times. "It is not too late, Ser Barristan. You know where I'll be." Ned turned to the two Stormlander guards. "Let me in to see the King."
One of the guardsmen winced and said, "You really are as loyal as they come".
The other one laughed as he knocked on the door, "All dressed, my Lord?"
"It's your Grace, you pre-prudent man-child" Robert bellowed inside. "Now, sweethearts, let's moan so loud we ruin their eardrums."
A woman squealed inside, and many more let out thundering moans.
"Your Grace," Ned said calmly, inwardly cringing. Why did Robert have to continue whoring at a time like this? "I am here to help you take back what is rightfully yours."
"Ned!" Robert divulged a bombastic chortle. "Finally, come in, my friend, we have so much to discuss."
One of the guardsmen led Ned into the room, while the other remained outside the door.
Surrounded by naked woman, Robert lay upon a large featherbed. His face had some scratches, but he mostly looked fine.
"Get out," Robert told the prostitutes and the guardsmen. "I demand to speak privately with my Hand."
The prostitutes steamed out without complaint. The guardsman by the door scowled at Robert. "I no longer take any more of your commands."
"I had enough of your insolence," Robert scowled, thumping his large hand against the featherbed's banister. "Get out, you idiotic sycophant."
The man flinched, causing his horn helmet to bang against the door. "Fine. I will let you two speak, as King Renly told us earlier it was allowed."
"He's no king. He's the Tyrell's and Littlefinger's new puppet. They've been waiting for years to gain power. Let's see how they like it when they have to fight the combined might of the North, the Vale, the Riverlands and the Westerlands. The Gold Cloaks and the people of the Crownlands will be mine once again."
The guardsman shut the door with a loud clang.
"You might have to take the Westerlands out of the equation." Ned told Robert.
His best friend breathed heavily. "You don't believe the lies they are spreading? As if that woman would dare cuckold me. I'm the King, not some floundering dunderhead."
"It's true. Cersei confessed to me that the children are hers with the Kingslayer." Ned shared. His earlier reservations did not matter. Robert's rage could only go so far in his current position. Renly- despite all his faults- was at least not the type of person to harm innocents.
"I'll tear her limb by limb the next time I see her. I'll burn the Kingslayer alive until he screams for mercy. I'll throw their impure children to Dorne and let them take the revenge those Dornish scum has been yelling about for years."
"Robert," Ned approached his friend hesitantly. "The children are innocent. Once we take down Baelish and your brother, I will be happy to foster all three of them in Winterfell as hostages for Lord Tywin's compliance."
"And the twins?" Robert laughed hollowly. "You have me return them to Casterly Rock unpunished."
Ned recounted what happened during his time as Cersei's prisoner. "I will abide by whatever punishment you desire. The twins deserve no mercy."
Robert grinned. "Fine. Can't believe you will show them mercy after what their mother put you through, but you were wronged too. The bastards can be your problem while I deal with the twins. First, we need to figure out how to beat Renly and Littlefinger."
"We do." Ned nodded. "I was just in front of Renly and heard a bit about his plans. He plans to appoint Littlefinger as his Hand. I learned from Ser Preston and the Kingslayer that Littlefinger is responsible for Jon's death. Littlefinger must have planned this all to gain the position. That cannot happen."
"I would never let that disgusting vagrant have that much power." Robert snapped, loudly stomping around the room.
"I know. That's why Littlefinger was working on overthrowing you. I think he was choosing between siding with the Lannisters and Renly. Cersei certainly thought he was an ally for her plan to kill you and put her impure, violent son in charge. But Littlefinger chose Renly instead, and you saw what happened."
Robert continued to stomp around the room before giving out a deafening guffaw. "The Kingslayer must feel like a fool. He ruined his sister's own plan to make their lion-spawn king."
Ned laughed too. It was incredible how much the Lannister twins messed up their own bid for power. "As bad a state we are in, at least theirs is worse."
"I'll drink to that." Robert grabbed a goblet of wine from the floor. He then stalled. "Pity, I only have one cup."
"It's fine. I don't need a drink," Ned said softly.
"After what the Lannister bitch put you through, you deserve it." Robert replied gruffly.
Ned closed his eyes. "It wasn't that bad. I mostly slept. I knew that you or someone else would get me out eventually."
"Still, I hate how much pain she put you through because you discovered her secret." Robert motioned to the end of the bed. "Sit, you must be exhausted."
Ned wished there was a chair to sit on. He rather remain standing then sit on the bed that once held several prostitutes. "I'm fine standing."
"Fine. Stand for all I care. What is your plan to get out of here?" Robert asked. "Should you distract the guards while I run off? Or maybe it should be you? You're agiler than I am." Robert rambled on about several un-well-thought-out plans.
"Some of your ideas are good," Ned replied. "But we should think about every possible out-come. We may know the lay-out well, but I'm not sure where each of Renly's guards are. I wish I could be more helpful. All I know is that Renly gave me some time with you for who knows how long. He will probably ask for me to appear before him again sometime. I'll tell him what I said before that I'll never be his Hand."
Robert stared at Ned, wide-eyed. "Renly asked you to be his Hand? Why didn't you tell me that immediately?"
"I was never going to take it. I would never betray you!" Ned shouted, his voice hoarse. How could Robert ever think that?
"I know." Ned felt a rush of warmth through his body. Robert smirked. "I simply realized the perfect plan. You will agree to be his Hand. You will pretend to align with him so we can cut from under him."
"No." Ned's hands started shaking. "I will do almost anything for you. But I will never lie. There are enough dishonorable men and spies in King's Landing."
Robert screamed. "Come on, Ned. This is not the time for your strict, unrealistic code of ethics."
"We need to be better than Littlefinger, the Lannisters and your little brother. If we don't abide by our duties and the law, we are lost. I will not pretend to align with a false king to restore you to your rightful position."
Robert stood up, towering over Ned. His face in a furious grimace. "Destroy Renly and get me back my crown. Stop worrying so much about foolish notions like morality. Play the game, Ned. Play the damn game of thrones. Everyone else does. I've been playing it the past seventeen years to keep the Seven Kingdoms at peace. You will need to play it too in order to keep the realm strong."
"Robert," Ned began. What had happened to make his friend this way? The young Robert Baratheon from the Vale believed in honesty. Robert had once argued with Jon Arryn when he suggested manipulating the people of the Vale to give up half their grain in exchange for an empty promise to help them after the end of the rebellion. He called Jon's suggestion the worst act imaginable.
The Robert before him now yelled brusquely. "As I told you before, honor means nothing. We must destroy our enemies by any means necessary."
"Robert." Ned was at a loss for words.
Robert drained the remaining wine in his goblet. "You know I would love to let someone else be King, but not my brother. He and the snake from the Vale are going to ruin everything. We must try every trick we can."
Before Ned could respond, the door slammed open and Gregor Clegane stomped in.