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The Changeling Child: a Sequel to "You Say It's Your Birthday"
by jamelia
Such a lovely day. Really, it was. But the first year cadet barely noticed. As she paced towards her parent's lodgings, her mind churned with a revelation that was so disturbing, yet somehow, explained so much, that she didn't know if approaching her parents was the right thing to do. Yet she knew she'd never rest until she did. She usually looked forward to visiting her parents. What should she say to them. What could she say? Or more properly, what was the right question to ask them?
This was, as her friend Icheb's suitemate Austin Sanchez would say, "Big! Colossal! Planet shaking!"
Well, not for the entire planet - just for Naomi Wildman, the second individual granted entrance into Starfleet Academy to have been born in the Delta Quadrant.
But in which Delta Quadrant?
As Admiral Virdian, Naomi's Xenobiology professor, announced, "This assignment will be the last 'big' project for this semester before finals," his class groaned. Everyone had hoped they'd already turned in their last big project to the admiral. "What, did you expect me to let you off easy? It's not that big a project. You're to research a race that had been unknown to the Federation until recently, when Starfleet vessels exploring the Gamma and Delta Quadrants made First Contact. This is to be an oral presentation, lasting no less than five minutes, but no more than fifteen. While I hope the presentations will be of interest to everyone in this class - and I'll consider that when handing out grades - I'm primarily interested in your preparation methods. You'll turn in a list of your sources as well as your 'script' for evaluation. Focus your attention on primary sources, such as ship's logs during the contact. If you can locate any, interview crew members who were on the ship when it occurred."
"And . . . " More groans echoes around the room. Naomi thought the admiral's smile was rather sinister as he added, "and when we've finished with all your presentations, we'll review the course material we've covered throughout this semester. I might highlight certain areas you might wish to study more closely before the test. You may find some on the final exam. Class dismissed."
As the rest of the class filed out of the room, Naomi gathered her PADDs while trying to decide which species would be appropriate for a brief oral presentation. (She'd often been accused of being "long winded" by her fellow students when she was assigned to give a speech.) Before she went out the door, Admiral Virdian called her aside. "Cadet, I'm aware you have personal knowledge of a great many Delta Quadrant species Voyager encountered during your years on that ship. This is primarily a research project. Please choose either a Gamma Quadrant species or one in the Delta Quadrant that Voyager made First Contact with before you were born."
"Voyager was in the Delta Quadrant for over a year before I was born, Admiral. I'm sure I can find an interesting species to write about that I never met personally."
That Saturday, after putting the final touches on her project, Naomi visited Icheb at his suite in Archer Hall. Since Icheb and his three suitemates were all graduating in two weeks, this might be the last time she'd have a chance for a casual visit with them all. While she'd made plenty of friends on campus, Icheb knew her better than anyone else, other that her parents. And his suitemates were very nice, too.
Naomi was disappointed to learn Austin and Tana Farys, Icheb's human and Bajoran suitemates, weren't at home this evening. His Vulcan suitemate Verit was, however, as were a number of boxes and bags strewn all around the common room. "What's going on? I've never seen this room so messy!"
"We are packing," Verit replied, although this was already perfectly clear just through observation.
"It's amazing how many things a person can collect in just three years," Icheb said. "We've decided to clear away anything we don't expect to need during the rest of our stay here. Seven promised me she will store anything I won't need to take with me on my first assignment."
"Have you received your assignments?"
Verit shook her head in the negative, but Icheb smiled proudly. "I've been assigned to a science vessel, the USS Hawking. We'll be part of a convoy traveling through Fluidic Space, exploring the far reaches of the Beta Quadrant, not far from Axum's home planet. Our primary assignment is to procure astrometric data about unusual formations in the area, but we're to keep our eyes open for any survivors of Borg attacks. Axum believes there may be some who require Coalition assistance."
"That's so far away." Naomi felt a pang at the thought that her friend was really leaving, especially on an assignment which would probably not allow for easy communications with each other. Naomi would miss him. Icheb had always been there for her, willing to listen and guide her through the intricacies of Academy life. He knew exactly what was involved in adjusting to life amongst the multitudes after living within the comforting confines of Voyager. When rumors spread at lightning speed through every deck, "it's a small ship" had been a joke shared by the entire crew. Once they'd "come home" to Earth, however, Naomi learned how very true that saying had been. When it was Naomi's turn to attend the Academy, Icheb and his suitemates had helped her immeasurably. They'd always made her feel welcome, a contemporary worthy of respect. She knew from speaking with her classmates that many upperclassmen didn't behave that way to "firsties." It wasn't easy to be the youngest person in all of your classes. The support of this quartet of seniors had been invaluable. She was very grateful and would miss them all - just not as much as knew she'd miss Icheb.
Before she began to get maudlin, Naomi decided to change the subject. "Verit, is it true your husband is returning early from his mission to the Gamma Quadrant?"
"Yes, Torin's group finished their medical research project earlier than expected. They've made recommendations based upon their findings to the Founders, and now they are on the way home. He may be here as early as next week."
"He may be able to go to your graduation! You must be so excited! . . . Um . . . I mean . . . "
Verit exchanged a glance with Icheb before gravely stating, "I will be most gratified if Torin should arrive prior to commencement. I am not, as humans say, 'counting on it,' however. His ship may experience obstacles to delay its return."
Icheb bent down to whisper in Naomi's ear, "She's very excited." They both stifled their laughter while Verit coolly returned to her packing, although her mouth quirked slightly. While she would never dare say anything to Verit's face about the influence her suitemates had had in the manner in which she expressed herself, Naomi had long noticed the Vulcan cadet was far less reserved than Commander Tuvok or Vorik had always been.
"Is this a social call, Cadet Wildman?" Verit finally asked, glancing over her shoulder while continuing her self-appointed task.
"I finished my presentation for Admiral Virdian's class. You said you'd like to hear it when it was finished, didn't you?"
Verit nodded as she closed the case she'd filled with an assortment of PADDs. Icheb also stopped his packing as he replied, "Yes, we did. I've never met any Vidiians. The Borg declined to assimilate the species. Seven told me the Collective did not care to add their biological distinctiveness to their own. I think they were afraid the distinctiveness they'd add was the Phage. You were just a baby the last time anyone on Voyager met Vidiians. I didn't come on board for years after that, but I've always been curious about them. "
"I was, too. I heard about them from Uncle Neelix, of course, but we left their space before I was old enough to be aware of anyone other than Mom - and maybe Uncle Neelix." Naomi walked over to the lounge area in front of the windows, which was relatively free of packing materials. Removing a case of Verit's which contained samples the Vulcan Exobiologist was bringing with her on her first assignment, planning to study them in detail during her free time, Naomi cleared enough space to sit down. Turning on the PADD she'd carried with her into the suite, she called up her "script." Icheb and Verit gave up any pretense of packing and sat near Naomi as she began to read:
The Vidiians, Vampire Species of the Delta Quadrant
by Cadet Naomi G. Wildman
After encountering the Ocampa and the Kazon during their first days in the Delta Quadrant, the most significant species met by the crew of Voyager called themselves the Vidiians. This species suffered for centuries from a debilitating illness which they called the Phage. This condition caused their body's cells to mutate, deteriorate, and eventually to die. When vital tissues were affected, the resulting necrosis would cause the individual to die. Despite all their scientists' best efforts, the only treatment they had found to prolong their lives was to pilfer healthy organs from the bodies of alien species who were unaffected by the Phage and transplant them into the Vidiians' bodies, to replace the ones that were failing.
Since the supply of aliens willing to give up their organs voluntarily was obviously very slim, the Vidiians raided passing space ships to steal what they needed from their crews. My godfather Neelix, a Talaxian, had both of his lungs "harvested" by a pair who invaded Voyager. Voyager's Mark-1 EMH, who now goes by the name of Dr. Mark Zimmerman, devised holographic lungs for him. Neelix was unable to move at all during this phase of his treatment, however, since the holographic lungs would dislodge from their connections within his body if he did. This was Voyager's "First Contact" with the Vidiians.
The crew managed to locate the raiders who stole Neelix's lungs, but since they had already been transplanted into Vidiians, to retrieve them would have meant one or both of the Vidiians would die. Captain Janeway was reluctant to do that. Fortunately, Neelix's girlfriend Kes donated one of hers for Dr. Zimmerman to transplant into Neelix, and he survived.
The official logs from the first two years of Voyager's journey through the Delta Quadrant reveal several encounters with the Vidiians. Voyager's chief pilot, Lieutenant Thomas Paris, was captured, along with the ship's chief engineer Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres and a Lieutenant Peter Durst. They were taken to a combination research lab, mining operation, and organ processing facility. The medical researcher, Dr. Sulan, used a device he'd invented called the genetron to split the DNA of Lieutenant Torres, a hybrid like me, into a totally human B'Elanna and a completely Klingon one. Dr. Sulan was impressed with his Klingon prisoner's strength and thought he could create a cure for the Phage from her purified DNA. Unfortunately, he also fell in love with her. When she didn't return his feelings, Dr. Sulan thought it was because of his badly scarred face. Lieutenant Durst was taken to organ processing. Dr. Sulan had Durst's face transplanted in place of his own. Instead of pleasing her, his actions enraged his captive. She broke free. Eventually, Lieutenants Torres and Paris were rescued. Only the human B'Elanna survived, but Voyager's Doctor restored her genome to its original state.
The loss of Lieutenant Durst in this way was very hard for the crew to accept. In addition, a Talaxian prisoner who had provided assistance to both of the Starfleet lieutenants while they were in custody was left behind when the Voyager crew members were rescued. As Mr. Paris told me during our interview, "By the time I was able to ask the captain to rescue him, we were too far out of range of the Vidiian facility to go back for him. He'd been stuck there for more than nine years. He was the last one of his ship's complement to survive. I've often thought he might have enjoyed traveling with us on Voyager, like Neelix did. Neelix would have loved to have another Talaxian on board. It would have been a better fate than the one the Vidiians had in store for him. And the sad thing is, I never even learned his name."
As you can see, most of Starfleet's experiences with the Vidiians were like the horror stories told in ancient 2-D cinema entertainments. However, after making contact with one Vidiian, the crew began to appreciate how the Phage had twisted that people's interactions with others. The crew of Voyager found Dr. Denara Pel unconscious and near death in a one-person vessel. When a way was found to communicate with her through the use of holographic technology, she said she would rather die than have anyone else become an unwilling organ donor for her. Our Doctor convinced Lieutenant Torres to permit him to extract a small amount of her Klingon DNA and inserted it into Dr. Pel's brain. Dr. Sulan's theory may have been valid. Dr. Pel was cured, in the sense that she would no longer spread the disease to others. Her physical condition stabilized, and the Doctor did not believe she would need any more transplants. There was no way to undo the scarring from all the surgeries she'd endured in the past, however.
Some time later, after she departed Voyager, Dr. Pel helped the crew. Two crew members were bitten by insects on a primitive planet. They had to be left behind, since something in that environment kept them alive. The Vidiians had developed an antidote to this condition, and Dr. Pel provided it to the crew. The serum was administered to the marooned officers, permitting them to rejoin Voyager. They were both on the ship upon its return to the Alpha Quadrant.
When I was three years old, Voyager encountered "The Think Tank," a group which claimed to have developed a cure for the Phage which they gave to the Vidiians. Mr. Paris told me that he hoped they told our captain the truth about this. "From what we learned from Dr. Pel, the Vidiians were vampires who really didn't want to be. I'd like to think they're now sharing the medical knowledge they gained while they were searching for a cure for their disease, like Dr. Pel did when she gave that antidote to us. They owe it to their neighbors to compensate them for all the misery they caused while they suffered from the Phage."
"At the end of my talk, I'm going to display two pictures of Dr. Pel. One is of the hologram the EMH created so he could communicate with her. That's how Vidiians look when they don't have the Phage. The other is of Dr. Pel's actual face, from an official log image. I won't script this part, but it will take up some time, too. What do you think?"
"Your presentation is very well organized. I'm certain your class will find the images of Dr. Pel quite informative as well," Verit commented.
"I'm not going to identify the people the crew left on New Earth, even though I know it was the captain and commander. That happened after I was born, but I only read about it in the logs after Mezoti helped me hack into them."
"There's no reason to reveal their identity during your presentation," Icheb agreed.
"When you were in his class, did Admiral Virdian assign this project to you?"
"Yes, but it was a paper, not a speech," Icheb replied.
"Which species did you write about?"
"I wrote about the Cataati."
"When the admiral assigned the essay to my class, I chose the Jem'Hadar," Verit said.
"I'm glad you had to do this, too, even if you had to turn in a paper. I have a question. I know my speech is longer than five minutes, but do you think it's over fifteen minutes long?"
"I noted the time on your PADD's chronometer when you started and at its end. If you speak at that same rate of speed in class, your presentation should take less than ten minutes," Verit said. "You should also have sufficient time to display your images without exceeding the time limit."
Icheb smiled as he shared a memory. "I'm sure you'll do better than I did when I gave an oral report to Captain Janeway to satisfy the course requirements for Early Starfleet History. She expected it to last for twenty minutes. She stopped me after I'd already spoken for over an hour, although I had chapters more prepared. Quinton told me my speech was boring. He called me Drone Boy at first."
"Quinton? You mean Q Junior?" Naomi asked, intrigued.
"They are one and the same," Verit confirmed archly.
"You've met him, too, Verit? He comes here?"
The Vulcan cadet nodded solemnly. "He has appeared upon three occasions so far, always unannounced. He has threatened to visit us once more before we graduate."
"Warn me if he does show up!" Naomi laughed. "He was rude and obnoxious on Voyager!"
"He can be rude. I do not find him particularly obnoxious now, although he endeavors to be on what he calls his best behavior during his visits here - or so he claims."
"I'll bet he wears an admiral's uniform when he comes."
"No, he's usually dressed relatively appropriately, in the uniform of a senior cadet. Of course, the first time he appeared he wore the insignia of the elite Red Squadron," Icheb remarked.
"Didn't he realize everybody on campus knows exactly who's in the Red Squadron each year? If he's as omniscient as the Q claim, how come he didn't know that?"
"At my suggestion, he lost the Red Squadron patch. He usually keeps a low profile. When he came the first time, Captain Janeway introduced him as a distant relative who wished to 'audit' some classes, so the faculty calls him Quinton Janeway whenever he visits. He likes to visit his 'Aunt Kathy' when he's here, too. For some reason, she has a soft spot for him."
"Now Q, his father, he really is obnoxious!" Naomi exclaimed. Icheb did not bother to refute this.
To repay them for listening to her speech, Naomi volunteered to help Verit organize her belongings into "pack-now" and "pack-at-the-last-minute" piles. Verit and Icheb reciprocated by inviting Naomi to stay with them for dinner. Austin and Farys were dining with friends that evening.
The three cadets chatted for a while about a variety of topics before their conversation returned to Naomi's presentation and its subject, the Vidiians. "While I was researching the species in Voyager's logs, I found one entry that I think referenced them, but it was encrypted. I was surprised, because it was for the Stardate I was born. After the encrypted section, Captain Janeway said they needed to do extensive repairs because of damage to Voyager 'after the escape from the Vidiians.' Icheb, I was wondering, do you think you could decrypt it for me? I'd like to know the whole story."
"If that section was encrypted, Starfleet expects that information to be kept secret, Naomi."
"Oh, I know that, Icheb. I wasn't going to include it as part of my assignment. You've already heard what I'm presenting to Admiral Virdian's class; but I'm curious. What could have happened on the day I was born that Captain Janeway thought must be kept secret? It couldn't have had anything to do with me, could it?"
"It is highly unlikely, Cadet Wildman. It is illogical for a newborn to be involved in anything that would be considered so vital to Starfleet security they would find it necessary to keep it secret."
While Verit was saying this to Naomi, Icheb rose from his seat and began to work at the computer terminal on one of the suite's desks. He examined the section of Voyager's logs for the date of Naomi's birth first, but he quickly realized decrypting it could take days, if not weeks. When he widened his search to see if he could find a reference to that date elsewhere in the database, he discovered one.
"I found a possible connection, Naomi, under 'Cautions to Command Personnel.' There's an entry that states: 'A ship traveling in the Delta Quadrant in 2372 entered a plasma cloud to avoid attack by an enemy. When they exited the cloud, they passed through a divergence field. The vessel and all of its occupants were duplicated. An ensign from one ship fell through a hull breach into space and died. A second casualty occurred in that ship's Sickbay, when a patient died due to medical equipment failure. While this vessel was severely damaged, its duplicate remained intact. After a species known to collect organs from passing starships attacked the undamaged vessel, its captain elected to destroy her ship to prevent the aliens from attacking the other through the subspace rift which connected the two vessels. Before giving the self-destruct order, the undamaged ship's captain sent her ensign with the duplicate of the other person who died through the subspace rift, to replace those the other captain had lost.' And then it goes on to describe other factors which the surviving captain had recorded in her logs, so a similar divergence field could be avoided by other Starfleet vessels in the future."
Naomi gazed into the distance - like her mother always did whenever Naomi brought up the subject of the day she was born. Naomi knew, without question, that this was the reason her mother always behaved so oddly when the circumstances of her birth were mentioned. When her mother eventually responded, she'd always say Noami's birth was "just like anyone else's." Naomi no longer believed that. If medical equipment had been involved, there must have been some sort of complication with the birth. Her little brother had been delivered by fetal transport. Dr. Zimmerman had insisted upon this procedure as soon as her mother announced her pregnancy. And this was why Tom Paris had initially been reluctant to speak to her when she first requested an interview with him about the Vidiians. He knew. Everyone on the ship must have known, but no one felt free to tell her if her mother never had.
Naomi rose up from her seat and walked over to the lounge area, stumbling a bit over the case she'd moved off the couch before she'd read her presentation to Icheb and Verit. As she stood in front of the window, she felt someone come behind her and gently touch her on her upper arms. Icheb whispered, "It doesn't mean this has anything to do with you, Naomi."
She said nothing at first, but as she gazed out the window overlooking portions of the San Francisco skyline, her awareness gradually returned. Her fingers were raised to her mouth, almost as if she wanted to hold her next words in, but they all spilled out anyway. "No, Icheb, the person who died in Sickbay must have been Naomi Wildman. My mother's Naomi Wildman. If that person had been a member of the crew, the citation would have stated 'crewman.' or the officer's official rank, the way it identified the ensign who was lost."
"There were other people on the ship who were not in Starfleet at the time. The Maquis, perhaps?" Verit asked. "Your Uncle Neelix and his girlfriend Kes were on the ship then, too, I believe?"
"The Maquis were all considered members of the crew by then, Verit. I remember Kes. I don't think Uncle Neelix would have kept something like this from me if either of them had died and then been replaced. Uncle Neelix loved to chatter on and tell stories. What reason would he have had to keep from this one from me? No, the other person who died had to have been . . . the Wildman baby."
"You are speculating about something your Uncle Neelix may or may not have told you, Cadet," Verit said, in a more severe tone than she usually used, "when it simply might have slipped his mind."
Naomi glanced back at Verit and sighed. "I don't think something as big as this would have 'simply slipped his mind.' And I have other evidence. Whenever the subject of my birth comes up in a conversation between my mother and me, she loses focus. Sometimes it's only for a second or so; but from the time I was old enough to ask her about the day I was born, it's always happened. Every time. When I ask her if something's bothering her, she always says 'it's nothing,' but I know something's on her mind that she doesn't want to talk about. What else could it be? She had a baby. It died. I was brought to her by this unnamed ensign. She held me in her arms, took care of me - she always loved me, I know that - but she's never forgotten that other Naomi. The attacking aliens had to be the Vidiians. None of the other species Voyager met in the Delta Quadrant collected organs from passing spaceships. That database entry makes no sense at all otherwise. I mean, what other Starfleet vessel was even in the Delta Quadrant at that time . . . that had a female captain?"
Although she'd begun this explanation primarily for Verit's benefit, Naomi's eyes flicked quickly over to Icheb as she finished. He gave her a very slight, silent nod, acknowledging the subtle correction at the end of Naomi's statement. Another Starfleet vessel had been in the Delta Quadrant then, but its captain was decidedly male. Icheb had only learned about him from the five crewmembers Captain Ransom sent to Voyager, before he chose to blow up his vessel, ostensibly to satisfy the alien "Spirits of Good Fortune" who wanted to punish its crew for killing them and using their bodies for fuel. By doing so, Ransom had successfully deleted any hard evidence of the crimes committed on Equinox - but he couldn't delete memories of what had happened from those five crew members. They all still felt terribly guilty because of what they'd done while serving under him.
"Since you're speculating that this incident occurred on Voyager - which I must admit seems likely - I wonder about the identity of the ensign who brought you from the duplicate Voyager."
Icheb and Naomi both said together, and without any hesitation, "Harry Kim."
"Lieutenant Commander Kim? There were many ensigns on Voyager, were there not?"
"It had to have been Harry," Icheb admitted. "This is the sort of thing that always happened to him."
"Yes, it had to be him." Naomi sighed. "It's strange. Harry has always been so kind to me. I never thought there was anything more to it than the fact that he's a very nice guy. But now, I wonder if he's always felt a little protective of me because we came from the same place."
"I heard him say once that 'weird is part of the job,'" Icheb mused. "I asked him what he meant. He said it was nothing; just something the captain said to him a long time ago. We should ask him if this is one of those 'weird parts of the job.'"
"I wouldn't be surprised." Naomi met Icheb's gaze. "I guess this means I'm a sort of . . . of changeling."
Verit looked perturbed, or as much as she ever did, when she pointed out, "This incident doesn't seem at all analogous to the actions of the Founders."
Naomi smiled slightly. "Oh, I'm not referring to the Dominion when I use that term. In one of the old Earth mythologies, when fairies decided to steal a human child, they'd put one of their own babies in its cradle to take its place. The human parents would raise a fairy child as their own. I think this was one way the people who lived back then explained a child that developed differently or didn't act the same way as other children - maybe a child that didn't thrive as it grew. At the time, they didn't know about inherited diseases, or anything like that."
"You've always thrived, Naomi."
She laughed lightly, but humorlessly. "Yes, Icheb, if anything, I more than thrived. I developed so fast, thanks to my Ktarian genes, Mom still complains about having to beg for extra replicator rations from Captain Janeway, just to keep me dressed in clothing that fit!"
Verit nodded, as she usually did in response to a humorous comment while Naomi laughed again. They exchanged glances with each other, however, when they realized Icheb had not responded to Naomi's anecdote as they had. He was completely silent, staring at the skyline, lost in thought.
Naomi was about to ask him what was on his mind when he began to speak softly, barely above a whisper. "If you're right, Naomi, then the mother who gave birth to you gave you up to her counterpart to protect your life. She wanted you to live on after she and her ship were destroyed. I find it very sad she had such a short time to hold you in her arms and love you before she had to give you away - for your own good, not for hers."
Neither of Icheb's listeners chose to make any comment about this observation. Naomi was certain Verit also intuited what he had not said - something neither would dare to mention while he looked so very sad. Naomi's mother had given up her baby to save her life. Icheb's parents had sent him to the Borg, expecting him to die.
From the bench in the park-like forecourt of parent's apartment complex, where she'd taken a seat while deciding what, if anything, she should say to them, Naomi sighed deeply and thought a little more about the value of keeping secrets versus always telling whole truth. She accepted that some secrets should best be kept forever from those who might be hurt if they were ever revealed, but this didn't feel like one of those. What if her existence here - what should she call it, a parallel universe to the one in which she was born? - what if it could be threatened by some events beyond her control? And what if her conclusions about that entry in the database were wrong, as Verit still believed might be the case? It was time to insist upon the truth, however painful it might be to voice openly.
Naomi stood up and shook herself like the little dog playing with a young boy in the dog run next to the complex just had done. She forced herself to walk in a more confident manner than she actually felt and entered the building's lobby. She rang the bell to her parents' home and heard, "Who's there?"
"Hi, Mom. It's me."
"Naomi! I didn't expect to see you today. Come on up!"
Samantha opened the door for Naomi and gave her a big hug. Pulling her into the apartment's kitchen, she ordered up tall, cool glasses of iced tea for them. Once they were settled at the table, her mother asked, "How are things going? Finals should be coming up soon."
"Everything is going well. I still have one week of classes left. All my papers are in, but I do have one last assignment, an oral presentation for Admiral Virdian's Xenobiology class."
"I remember him. He's an excellent teacher. What's it about?"
Naomi took a quick sip of her tea. She knew it had a little caffeine in it; she hoped it would give her enough courage to say what she needed to say. "I have to give a speech. I finished it yesterday. Last night I went to Icheb and Verit's suite to recite it to them, to check the timing. They'd asked me to share it with them. They thought it was pretty good. It was about an alien species I've never met . . . personally. It was primarily a research project, and while I was . . . during my research, I read Voyager's logs and I uh . . . I found out something. About me. And about an ensign who died, who then came back . . . and, well, I know. I know what happened the day I was born."
Lieutenant Samantha Wildman's always fair-skinned visage faded to resemble that of an ivory statue. Turning abruptly away from her daughter, she gulped in a huge amount of air and expelled it slowly, moaning weakly. Naomi couldn't bear to see her mother like that. Jumping up and wrapping her arms around her mother, she whispered, "I'm sorry, Mom. It must have been awful for you . . ."
Samantha sobbed into her daughter's shoulder for several minutes. Naomi felt completely helpless. She did her best to comfort her, all the while thinking, Why couldn't I have just left things well enough alone? I could have asked Admiral Janeway about this. I'm sure she would have told me the truth after she realized I'd already found out about it!
Once her sobbing came under control, Samantha leaned back. Gazing into her daughter's eyes, she gently traced the line of vestigial horns that extended down the middle of Naomi's forehead with her fingertips. At last, she said, "The captain told me she'd encrypted the story in her official logs."
"Oh, she did, but Starfleet wasn't quite so careful when they added the incident to the 'Cautions to Command Personnel' portion of the database. All the details aren't there, but they included the year and referred to the fact that it happened to a female captain in the Delta Quadrant. It wasn't hard for Icheb, Verit, and me to figure it out." Naomi's right arm still held her mother close. She felt much better after the tender way her mother had touched her face. At that moment she knew she was her mother's daughter, not a "replacement," no matter which Samantha Wildman had given birth to her.
"So you know about the duplicate Voyager."
"There weren't a lot of female Starfleet captains traveling through the Delta Quadrant in 2372!" Naomi laughed. Her mother acknowledged this fact with a slight chuckle. "We did have one question. Who was the ensign who came from the other Voyager with me? I guess he had to carry me across that rift. It was Harry Kim, wasn't it?"
"Yes, it was Harry . . . the ensign who kept dying on us. And then coming back." After a moment, Samantha sighed, "I guess this is still pretty much a secret to anyone who isn't as interested in solving a mystery about their own identity as you must have been."
"I'm sure it is; and I found out accidentally, you know." Naomi paused, and then, very carefully, because she didn't want to make her mother cry again, said, "Were you ever going to tell me about it?"
Her mother's head sagged; she sighed, and then admitted, "I could never find the right moment. You were so little, just a child; and later, the opportunity just never seemed to come up."
"Does Dad know?"
Samantha shook her head. "I haven't had the courage to tell him about it, either. I don't know if I should. It happened such a long time ago. He never even knew I was carrying a baby when I left Deep Space Nine, when I went on that 'short' mission with Captain Janeway."
"This is the real reason Greswild was born by fetal transport."
"Yes, the Doctor said we should, just in case." Samantha touched one of the little horns on Naomi's forehead. "These became stuck in my uterine wall. The Doctor delivered you by fetal transport, but after the procedure, when he had to treat you for complications, the power on the ship went out. He was still active, since there was a back-up power supply for his program, but before he could divert any to the device he needed to use to treat you . . . I mean, the baby I gave birth to . . . she died.
"It must have been so hard holding me afterwards, knowing what had happened to the real Naomi."
"Oh, Honey, you are the one and only Naomi Wildman. Your DNA comes from your father and me. I love you. You're my daughter! It's just . . . I always remember all the awful things that happened that day. I've never been able to forget that a baby died, even after you were placed in my arms. I guess it's what a mother must feel when she gives birth to identical twins, but one of them doesn't make it."
"I'm the one and only Naomi? Did you give the baby that died a different name?"
"I had a lot of names to choose from, but most of them were boy's names. I was so sure you were going to be a boy! I decided I wouldn't pick one until after I saw my baby's face. Some people say that's the way it should be, to see which name fits the new person best." Samantha glanced away, lost in thought for several seconds. Naomi was beginning to think her mother wouldn't answer any more questions, but then Samantha continued, "Before I learned your birth mother was sending you to me, Neelix suggested that I name my baby M'Ina, the name of a little silvery-gray bird that live high in the trees on Talax's moon, Rinax. That's where his family lived. He said his people treasure them for their delicate beauty, even though they only live for a few days. He told me that when the sun hits their feathers, they sparkle in the light. The name M'Ina means 'forest's tears.' I was crying over my baby at the time he told me, so the name . . . that name just fit her."
"Were all the little birds killed in the Metreon Cascade, too?"
"You know, I never thought to ask Neelix. I hope not."
"So I had an identical twin called M'Ina. I'm sorry I never got to meet her. If she hadn't died, I wonder, would that other Captain Janeway would have thought to send me to you anyway?"
Samantha brushed her hand lightly over Naomi's hair. "I would like to think she would. I love you so much, but I would have had plenty of room in my heart to love you both."
"Just like you love me and Greswild! Now, was that one of the names you thought about giving me if I'd turned out to be a boy?"
"Actually, no." Samantha felt well enough by this time to giggle. "Your father was the one who chose it. It's a Ktarian tradition to include both parents' names in some way when naming a child."
"So that's why! I only use my middle initial 'G' when I sign my name. Naomi Greskgrendtreck Wildman is so darn long! But how did you decide to name me Naomi?"
"Neelix suggested that one, too. He told me Naomi means 'beautiful' in an Earth language. He liked to research things like that. And you are beautiful, Naomi. Truly."
"Am I exactly like her? Like M'Ina?"
"Exactly like her. The Doctor told me your genome is the same as hers was. There's a very slight phase variance, that's all. Harry has that, too, because of where you both came from."
"Will that affect me somehow?"
"No one knows, Honey. I really don't think so, but you'll just have to wait and see."
"Well, okay. I'm glad I finally learned about my 'sister' M'Ina. I'll think of her sometimes when I look into a mirror. Maybe every time. But Mom, I don't think you should wait to tell Dad about her. He should know, too. I don't think I'm the only one who's noticed how you drift off into the ether whenever anyone mentions the day I was born. I think it's time we all mourned my twin."
Samantha began to weep again, finally letting go of a sorrow she'd carried inside herself for eight long years; but now these were also tears of joy. Her lovely Naomi had given her a gift: to express the grief she'd felt she had to bury for so long. M'Ina, the lost child who looked exactly like her Naomi, deserved nothing less.
The End
Author's Notes: The references to Icheb at Starfleet Acadamy, and to his suitemates and Admiral Virdian, first appeared in "Destiny," the sequel to my story "Icheb." There's no need to read those very long tales to understand this one (but of course, if you choose to do so, I'll be very happy to hear your reaction!)
THANKS!: Thank you, SheyneyL. Your comment on AO3, in which you wondered if Samantha would ever tell Naomi about the circumstances of her birth and if so, how, was the plot bunny that grabbed me by the throat and forced me to write up this story.
And I must give a great big hug of thanks to monkee, for allowing me to use details from her lovely story about Samantha Wildman's lost baby. I urge everyone to read "M'Ina." It can be found at Trekiverse or at the "Lower Decks" website. (Do a search for the site, or remove the spaces in the following for the link):
www. loony-archivist lowerdecks/ stories/ mina. html
Disclaimer: As always, I must reaffirm that all of Star Trek, including these characters, ships, and life in Starfleet, belong to Paramount and CBS lock, stock, and torpedo barrel. I like to give them all a little more life in the universe in which Star Trek: Voyager existed as a series (as opposed to the Relaunch books, which I do not acknowledge as canon).