202So here is the next chapter! This is an idea by Unknown Legion and it seemed like a funny one, so why not? And unlike most where I skip around an pass 10-20 universes 'off screen' this will directly follow Doomsday! Then…THEN UKL will be using the ladies for a chapter!
Anyway, enjoy and read the words!
Chapter 30: Necromancer
Universe 3572-NC. Earthland, Fiore Year 784. Summertime.
The mountainside was covered in green, a healthy forest of trees, animals and chirping birds enjoying the first rays of summer. Several brooks gurgled, the water winding down the slope in a torrent of clear liquid that passed a few mountain roads that eventually led to Magnolia and Mount Hakobe.
Along the highest summit, enshrouded in forestry and foliage, a stone keep had been erected. A monolith meant to originally protect the land, the current inhabitant was an all powerful necromancer. Currently sleeping, he had no idea of the meeting taking place near his home by a group of unintended followers.
Flowing with serenity from the summit near the old castle, one of the smaller rivers crashed over a cliff, the mist and noise rising from bottom blocking the chanting of the dark mages who had gathered in the shade of the narrow valley several hundred feet below.
Dressed in completely black robes with smiling masks of porcelain white, the only differences between the vile mages were the tightly clinging robes of the female members that showed off criminal amounts of cleavage…and the corresponding numbers they each had emblazoned across the front of the cloak. Sheering red like crimson, number three finally spoke.
"Okay. I know we're supposed to be bad guys, but whoever picked out the robes for the female members needs to be killed. How can I bring terror and fear if men just stare at my tits the whole time?" Pointing, the masked woman shook them, the flesh jiggling as a few other women nodded in agreement.
"I don't see what the problem is? Your tits look great!" Number seven spoke with perverted excitement as he stared behind his mask.
"Asshole! It was you, wasn't it!" extending her palms, Number three unleashed a crackling spell of dark lightning, the vile bolts of magic snapping across the valley floor to strike the man. Rushing across his limbs and torso, he screamed with laughter.
"YES! YES! PUNISH ME NUMBER THREE!"
"Oh hell…he's enjoying it…" Ending the magical attack, the woman turned away with a huff, not wanting to harbor the pervert's lust.
Number twelve spoke, the masked man glaring at a scampering rabbit that crossed his vision. Unfortunately, they were in a meeting and the small animal escaped before he could kill the mammal. "Anyway…we need to collect some victims for our glorious leader"
"We could raid a mountain village? They're all over the place out here. And with the distance, even Fairy Tail wont be able to reach us in time" Nine suggested, her voice like silk. "But we would need to get virgin's for him"
"That should be easy to accomplish" Sixteen suggested, the hulking male barely moving as he eyed the gurgling brook nearby. Several fish swam, an insult to their master. Using some minor acid magic, he killed the aquatic life with a sinister smile as their bodies floated to the surface.
*Pop…pop pop pop!*
"The hell?" extending her hand while looking upward, Three felt some of the strange particles fall to her palm like falling snow of light.
In a flash, a strange bat like vehicle appeared about a hundred feet above the canyon floor as gravity instantly took over.
"OH SHIT! I SHOULD'VE THOUGHT THIS THROUGH!" Levy screamed as the batmobile dipped toward a group of twenty robed people standing near the river. Flying past the waterfall, Levy tried to escape the open hatch of the stolen car, only to fail as her mind decided not to comply with her legs.
"Stupid…stupid legs! Work dammit!" Cursing, Levy looked over the dash and already knew it was too late. "Eh…shit"
It crashed into the group of dark mages, the front end crumpling against Seven who basically exploded like a balloon of red mist from the impact.
Loaded with high performance fuel, the Batmobile flipped over, crushing three more of the villains before exploding in a fireball of petrol, flying metal, and debris. Cutting number sixteen, eleven and nine in half from a flying sheet of metal that sliced through the air, their corpses slid in opposite directions with a sickening plop as entrails slid toward the ground.
Number Two and One had the vast misfortune to be doused in fuel, the two men scrambling away as the flames raced across the ground to rush up their legs. Flesh crackled and popped while fabric burned, the two screaming as their skin melted from their bones.
Somehow, Levy found enough strength to leave the gnarled mess, the charred and burned woman staggering to the nearby river and falling face down in the soothing liquid as her body shield flickered in failure from the crash. Basically dead at this point, Levy tried to crawl toward the shore's edge as three familiar women strode forward from the narrow thicket that covered the valley floor.
"I'm…B…batman…" Giving a final gasp as burns covered her skin, Levy tried to grasp the loose dirt with the tips of her fingers.
"Great. She died again and this time we're not on Pandora" Kagura lightly groused as their friend's body lay there, the armor hiding the worst damage. Flecks of fire and grease covered her head, most of the blue hair gone as she stared lifelessly toward Erza, Mira, and Kagura.
"Just get Normal Face out here. He can do the revival since she hasn't died in nearly half a year" Erza ordered as she cradled her rifle, the woman instantly staring at the surviving robed men and women across the narrow river.
"F…FAIRY TAIL! HOW DID THEY FIND OUT OUR PLANS TO SACRIFICE VIRGINS TO OUR MASTER!" Five screamed out, the tall and lanky mage stepping forward with a gnarled staff and weird pointed hat that enhanced his gray tinted cloak.
"Well…we didn't. But thanks for letting us know your bad guys!" Mira shouted while raising her own rifle. Popping off a shot, she killed number five with a headshot, the cranium and face mask exploding in a vile spray of bone and porcelain. Moving to the next robed man, she fired again as he tried to summon a vile spell, only to die in a very unimpressive way.
"W…what?" Staring to the slowly falling body of Five, Three was slammed with four rifle shots centermass that knocked her off her feet. Struggling to breathe as blood filled her lungs, Three watched helplessly as the Fairy Tail mages executed her group without even the slightest sense of mercy from across the river.
"I thought Fairy Tail didn't kill…How di-" Dying in the next moment, Three only stared lifelessly at the serene sky, finding it oddly tranquil.
The brief firefight ended as quickly as it began, leaving all the dark mages dead and broken beneath the falling waterfall and crackling flames of the batmobile.
"I have been summoned!" Flashing into existence, the sentient watermelon turned immediately to his creator. "Miss Levy! What do you require!" Raising his gloved hands above his head, the melon blinked three times before realizing the state of his master.
"Could you not goof off and just revive her already?" Kagura lamented with annoyance. Crossing her arms beneath the armored breastplate, she really wasn't in any mood for insanity.
Especially since it had been only a few days since the fight with Doomsday. They all hurt and were still recovering from injuries.
"At least it's quiet here" Mira murmured, the silver haired mage not including the recent slaughter of dark mages.
"True" Erza agreed, finding the location very tranquil…which made them all instantly suspicious as she studied the nearby treeline that hugged the river and embankments.
The last thing they needed was mutant trees again with a raining blood storm.
"I will…REVIVE MISS LEVY!" Taking two steps forward, NF placed his hands on the dead woman as his eyes began to give a soft glow of green and blue. Skin began to stitch together, the burns healing as her scarred scalp began to regrow locks of blue hair. Beneath the armor, her wounds from the fuel and crash were healed, the muscles restitching in mere minutes.
"There is…RAGE!" Standing up, the short melon glared as the healed body of his master lay still.
"Shouldn't she have woken by now?" Erza asked, the red head nudging a boot.
"Nien. Her spirit…it has not reclaimed the body of meat and rage! RAGE!" Looking around with fury as his breathing seethed, the melon pointed toward the distant castle with a sniff of his non-existent nose. "I smell…Miss Levy from the castle, mien director!"
"It's Mira, not director" Sighing, she ran a gloved hand down her face. "Just explain normally. Big words confuse Erza"
A light glare came from the redhead, but she didn't comment for now.
"Levy has not returned to her body! Somebody or something is preventing her reunion of flesh and soul!...GRAH! RAGEMELON!" Raising its hands, the artificial lifeform ran toward the nearest rock face and began climbing with extreme rage past the rushing waterfall.
"Well. Guess we should go toward that castle" Erza suggested as she stared into the distance, her gaze studying the structure at the summit of the nearby mountain.
"Or we could take our time?" We do have half a day here. Why not have a picnic without the crazy?" Kagura voiced, the idea of peace and quiet very enjoyable to her. Spreading her hands wide, she stood near the bank, Levy's healed body a mere five feet away as the car popped and hissed with flame across the river. "Look at this ravine! Clean water! A beautiful waterfall that mists a full rainbow! Sunny skies!" Smiling, Kagura enjoyed the cool mist of the waterfall that crashed nearby, the area just…amazingly calm as birds chirped.
"Hmmm" Looking down at her multiversal timer, Mira had to admit that the idea of a serene forest picnic did hold merit. Slowly nodding, she had to agree with Kagura after a minute of contemplation. "A good meal first, then a nap, then…I guess we help Levy and find her soul or whatever. I mean, it's her fault for dying in the first place"
"Right!? All she had to do was chill back at that hero hall! But nooo, she had to go and steal a car for the fun of it" Waving a hand with sarcastic dismissal, Kagura was really looking forward to a few hours of silence.
"An excellent idea. I even still have some cheesecake. I won't share it, but you can watch me eat it with jealousy" Sitting down on a patch of wild grass, each woman decided to take a break as Levy's healed, but shell of a body continued to lay in the mud of the river bank.
"Ohh! I have some peaches! Yum!" Digging into a can of the fruit, Mira ate happily as Kagura started to lay out ham sandwiches with a smile.
"Ahh…now this is calming" Dismissing the twenty bodies and burning car along with stenches of scorched flesh, Kagura found it relaxing as she poured some tea. "By the way, I'm not carrying her body to that castle"
"Not it" Mira grinned before shoveling more peaches into her mouth.
"No—dammit" Scowling, Erza took an angry bite of some strawberry cheesecake, the heavenly treat dispelling the future task as her taste buds screamed with delight. Looking at her still comatose friend partially in the water while chewing, the scarlet knight shrugged as some fish nibbled at the boots under the churning river. "Not like she's going anywhere. I'm going to enjoy this cheesecake" Taking another bite as her mood lightened, Erza was fully enamored with the strawberry frosting.
"Can I have a piece?" Mira asked slowly, watching with hints of jealousy.
"Hmmm…no" Eating another bite, Erza enjoyed Mira getting annoyed.
"Come on! You never share!" Inching closer, the white haired beauty was really craving something sweet…and Erza had a sugary treat. Staring intently, Mira contemplated simply taking it.
"Didn't I say you can watch me eat with jealousy?" Smirking, Erza finished another bite as Kagura sprawled among the grass, the scent wonderful and calm without the madness of Levy.
"Now this…this is wonderful…" Watching the clouds roll by above, Kagura would be happy to waste several hours doing nothing. After all, Levy could wait.
"H…help…me…my wo..unds…" A dark mage gasped from across the river, the man suffering from numerous gunshots as his ebbing life force faded. Extending his right hand hand, he pulled himself forward, only to collapse.
"How rude. We're enjoying a picnic" Turning away from the dying mage with a huff, Erza continued to eat her treat as the trio of women lightly talked under the serene canopy of trees and nature.
The Nearby Castle
Levy awoke with a startled scream and jump of her body. "I AM BATMAN! NO! BATWOMAN! Wait, what the hell is wrong with my voice? It sounds like a ghost voice?" Looking down at herself, she found her skin and flesh half transparent with a soft glow.
"The hell?" Looking past her feet, she found herself floating nearly a foot off the stone floor.
"Ah, the new spirit is finally awake. Tell me, how did you die and come to this place?"
Looking toward her left past some dusty chairs and old tables, she found a floating man in a butler's outfit, his form barely tangible.
"Crashed a car off a cliff. But it's alright, I'll be alive..soon? Huh? I should have been revived already?" Pondering, Levy tapped her index finger against her bottom lip before scowling. "Those bitches! I bet they're having a picnic without me and…Drinking! Without me!" Kicking a wall, her foot passed through as the butler laughed a rich, baritone chuckle.
"A vehicle crash? How…pathetic! I was killed by monsters saving my family! Your death is very pathetic"
"HAHAHAHA!" Several spirit women in maid's uniforms had stuck their heads through the stone wall, smirking and laughing with pointed, ghostly fingers.
"What are you laughing at you fucking corpses! I've had waaay cooler deaths! Got my throat ripped out by zombies! Butchered by bandits! I'll kill you all!" Clenching her fists then extending her palm, she tried to summon her deadly magic, only for nothing to happen.
"Not very smart either. A spirit has no magic. Now come and meet your new master" Floating toward a heavily rotted door, the butler cocked his finger for Levy to follow.
"Fuck that you penguin bastard!" Trying to fly the opposite direction, Levy was suddenly pulled, flying through the nearest wall with a startled scream. "What the fuck!" Slewing through several more rooms and dingy walls of stone, she was suddenly yanked to her left and dragged down a hallway lit with torches before finding herself in the middle of a grand hall.
Stuck in mid air below a hanging chandelier of glass and light that cast illumination to several tapestries along the walls, Levy struggled to free herself.
"This…this is bullshit! When are my friends going to revive me! Bet this was Kagura's doing…damn her smugness!"
Movement came from the front of the hall as a robed man rose from a throne of swords and skulls. Draped in a completely black cloak, numerous other spirits lined the path as they bowed their heads in respect. His face was hidden in shadow while the cuffs of his sleeves extended past his hands.
"Who the fuck are you, asshole?" Glaring with murderous intent, the spirit of Levy hung as she tried to think of some way to attack.
"Hehehehe…I AM AN IMMORTAL! THE ALL POWERFUL NECROMANCER…DAVE!" Flinging his hood backward, the man was unbelievably plain with a reddish goatee and a completely bald head that sheened with polish.
"Did you polish your head?"
"YES! FOR IT IS THE REFLECTIVE SKIN OF HANDSOMENESS!" Striking a pose, Dave grinned before extending a hand toward Levy with the tips glowing pure black. "NOW SERVANT! BRING ME A CYLINDER OF HYDRATION!"
A bolt of insidiously dark lighting flashed across the grand hall, striking Levy as the woman howled. Falling to the floor, she coughed as her spirit flickered, then stabilized. Studying herself, she once more became enraged.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!?"
Pulling at the ghostly maid uniform that hugged her bosom with enticing seduction, Levy continued to grow angrier as she found her legs in pale white stockings that rose up to a frilly skirt. Barely hiding her nether region, the maid uniform was dark black with white trim along the edges. Trying to look behind her, the skirt swirled with delicate grace.
But the worst was the ghostly shoes that were basically high heels. Staring past the jiggle of her breasts that were barely contained, the bluenette pulled at her hair.
"I'm going to fucking kill you! Only my Natsu gets to see me wear something like this, and you ruined it!"
"AH! THE SALAMANDER! I BELIEVE HIS SHIP WILL SAIL WITH MILLIANNA! NOW, FETCH MY BEVERAGE OF AQUA!" Flinging Levy toward the kitchen, she screamed once more. Not in fright, but in rage.
"I swear to Happy I'll turn you into meat cubes before this chapter ends!" Disappearing through the wall, Levy found herself passing through a dozen more before entering the kitchen.
"I've never wanted to kill somebody so much in such a short time. Now to…urk…" Trying to fight the movement of her body, Levy strained as Dave controlled her from the throne room. Trying to stop her hand from reaching the cupboard, it shook with ghostly strain as she finally gripped the handle. "How the hell…am I…touching stuff…GAH!"
She was forced to grab a cup, then was promptly floated to the sink against her will.
"NO! I…I WON'T GET YOU WATER YOU BASTARD!" Screaming her lungs out as her limbs moved to Dave's will, Levy lost the battle as she turned the faucet and filled the glass. Once filled, she abruptly turned, her legs stiffly walking as she vainly attempted to halt their motion.
"Stop you damn legs! I own you!"
An idea came to the new maid as she tried to stop mere feet from the kitchen archway. "Wait! What about ice cubes!?" Shouting the ghostly words, the magic controlling her halted, momentarily releasing Levy.
Scrambling back toward the sink, she ducked down and practically ripped open the cupboard doors, pulling out a whole bottle of rat poison. Laughing evilly, she dumped the water and simply filled the glass with poison, then retrieved some ice cubes from the lacrima powered refrigerator across the room. Dropping them in the poisoned filled glass with a light tinkle of ice, McGarden was the picture of an evil murderess.
"There you go you son of a bitch. That'll end you…hehehehe" Smirking, Levy willingly returned to the grand hall with a sickly sweet grin and a bounce of her ghostly bosom.
Walking past several stone columns, Levy found Dave was sitting on his throne, reading the latest issue of Sorcerer Magazine.
"YES! MY DEFEATER OF PARCHED THROAT HAS RETURNED!" Taking the glass, Dave drank deeply then promptly turned to the next page, the poison completely gone. "YES! NATSU DESTROYED A CHURCH TO SAVE SOME NUNS!" Flipping several pages in, Dave's grin grew wider as his eyes grew with love. "FELINE MAGE OF BEAUTY! WILL YOU NOT DECLARE LOVE FOR FIRE!" rapidly turning in his chair, Dave pointed to an image of Millianna talking with Natsu, a minor team up of the two caught on camera. "THE PAIRING OF DRAGON AND CAT! THEY MUST LOOOOVE EACH OTHER!" Hugging himself, Dave grinned and squealed like a fangirl while clutching the magazine to his chest. Wiggling for several moments on his throne, the black robed necromancer gave another squeal before jumping off in a sudden frantic movement. Standing erect, he pointed toward Levy. "TELL ME YOUR INNER MONOLOUGE OF CAT AND DRAGON LOVE!"
Clearly, the poison had no effect.
"I JUST POISONED YOU! YOU SHOULD BE DEAD!" Grabbing the empty glass, Levy tipped it upside down as the necromancer continued to stand energetically. Throwing the glass into the corner with a shatter of shards, Levy's eyes took on a very dark one of ghostly hate. "I'll find a way to kill you! I swear to the space pope lizard! And, just so you know, you fucker, I've actually fucked Natsu!"
"GASP! LIES OF FALSEHOOD! HIS FIRST LOVE MUST BE THE MAGE-CAT OF MILLIANNA!" Raising his fingers, they glowed with a serene darkness as Dave aimed at one of the many hanging tapestries lining the grand hall. Snapping magical power slew fast past several of the supporting pillars, arcing and striking the hanging decorations.
Coats of Arms for long dead kings and families glowed, then changed into fields of hearts that surrounded images of Natsu and Millianna leaning in for a romantic kiss. In fact, nearly all of them gave off a pink, romantic glow that bathed the grand hall in a pink glow.
"Seriously! You use your power for that? What about Natsu and Levy!? Or at least Natsu and Erza!?"
"WHAT IS THE POINT WITHOUT MY FAVORITE SHIP AT THE HELM!?"
"Grah! Enough of this moronic crap!" Picking up a piece of the shattered glass, Levy made an impromptu shiv and launched herself at the Necromancer who seemed to be crying.
Only to be halted a mere half foot away from striking. Floating in mid air, McGarden tried to break free as her ethereal spirit struggled. "Damn you! Let me kill you so I can return to my body and drink!"
"THE EXTERIOR FOLIAGE OF SHORT PLANTS MUST BE…SHORTENED!" Flinging Levy through several walls as he cried for his favorite pairing, Dave curled up on the floor, his heart in distress as several other ghostly maids tried to comfort him with cooing support.
Finding herself outside near a gardening shed set at the rear of the castle, Levy was once more controlled to pick up a pair of gardening shears.
"Yeah…I'll stab him in the throat with these…Hehehe…" Trying to turn away while gripping the sharpened shears, Levy was forced to walk toward the nearest bush along a path of crushed gravel. Lining the wall that surrounded the property, the bushes did need a good trim. "NO! I'm not a damn gardener! FUCK YOU DAVE! FUCK YOU!" Cursing as she screamed, Levy clipped the first overgrown branch under the summer sky of serene clouds.
Of course she tried to fight, using every ounce of her spirit energy to turn away and kill the necromancer crying in his castle. Instead, her shaking arms moved slightly to the left, clipping another overgrown branch of leaves on the hedge of the rear castle garden.
"You shouldn't try to fight it. Just accept that this is the afterlife for you" Another ghostly maid informed from nearby as she trimmed a hedge formation of Natsu and Millianna under a heart shaped archway in the middle of the vast garden.
"I have not fought through and survived over three thousand different universes of mindless horror, shit and war just to become a…a MAID HEDGE TRIMMER! I'm a scientist! A survivor and I will return to my body and burn this castle to the ground!"
*Snip*
"DAMMIT!"
"Like I said, just accept it" Finishing her task, the blonde ghost maid floated upward to check over the heart archway.
"MISS LEVY!"
Trying to turn with a smile, Levy was forced to trim more of the hedges as Normal Face ran across the garden, his arms raised upward in a typical watermelon run.
"NORMAL FACE! REVIVE ME ALREADY! THIS ASSHOLE NAMED DAVE STOLE MY SPIRIT!"
"I performed the revival as normal, leaving you all with a three month charge of waiting in case of emergency. However, your body seems to be devoid of your soul"
"I'm aware of that! I'm right here!" Glaring past him as her hands closed the sheers once more with a heavy snip, Levy's ghostly brow twitched. "Where are the others?"
"They have decided on…A SUMMER PICNIC WITHOUT…RAGE…!"
"Those lazy bitches…Bet Mira was behind the whole thing too" twitching with anger, Levy let it go as she studied her versatile sentient tool standing before her.
A very evil smirk crossed Levy's face, the ghostly female ignoring the movement of her arms as more shrubs were trimmed. "Say, Normal Face. There's a man inside named Dave…He wants to steal all your rage…"
"Gre…gra…RAGE MELON! RAGGGGEEEE!" Running toward the castle, the homicidal watermelon smashed down a door, splintering the wood before running inside with another rage howl.
Traversing the multiple halls and rooms, the melon bellowed as he tracked the target toward the main hall.
Entering from a side passage, Normal face seethed with murderous intent, his gaze falling upon the man curled up in a ball on the middle of the floor. Snapping his head to the melon, the bald man grinned with tears down his face as hope returned.
"MILTSU?"
"RAGE MELON!" Leaping at the necromancer, the watermelon was all fury and murder as he latched on and bit the mans face. Ripping away flesh, the melon took another bite even as the first wound began to rapidly heal.
"NOT MY FAVORITE PAIRING! IN FACT, NOT NATSU AT ALL!" Shaking his fists to the ceiling, Dave left the hall as the melon continued to chomp and bite at exposed flesh like a bloodthirsty cannibal.
"Such…delicious…RAGE!" Biting once more, N.F. chewed like a villain, gaining new strength as Dave just sighed and ascended the nearest steps toward his room at the top of the tallest spire.
Blood spattered a nearby wall from a torn artery, but the regenerating necromancer didn't care.
Entering his room as his left ear rapidly healed from being torn off, the man found himself laying down on his bed sheets showing off a heart field of Natsu and Millianna. Sighing as it chewed on his left arm, Dave was suddenly sad.
"TELL ME, CREATURE! HOW WILL I ENSURE MY SHIP OF ROMANCE!?
"RAGE!"
"CORRECT! PERHAP'S THE MOVEMENT OF LEGS TO THEIR FORTITUDE OF LOVE!? Rapidly standing up, Dave once again ignored his flesh being torn by the homicidal melon that chewed on his leg. Walking toward the window and his open balcony, he gazed with longing toward Magnolia that could barely be seen at the edge of the horizon past the large forests and rolling hills interrupted by mountains.
"OR SUMMON THEIR SOULS FOR ROMANCE? NO! FOR THAT IS…EVIL! BUT THEY HAVE….LOVE!" Shouting loudly with his fists raised, Dave pondered what he could do to get those two mages to confess their desire. Snapping his fingers, the necromancer grinned with a new idea. "A PARCHMENT COVERED WITH WORDS IN ORGANIZED SENTENCES! OF COURSE!" Sitting down at his desk, Dave began to write a letter to Fairy Tail, specifically Natsu.
Of course, Normal Face bit his writing hand, spraying hideous blood across the letter that only a serial killer would read.
Finishing after ten minutes, Dave held up the letter, the parchment nearly entirely soaked in his blood and sickly gore.
Natsu wi
die
tear the heart
who re
"PERFECTION! HE WILL UNDERESTAND MY MESSAGE DESPITE THE BLOOD STAINS!" Smiling happily, he folded the letter and slid it in an envelope. Turning to the creature gnawing his leg, Dave grinned. "NOW CREATURE OF MELON! I MUST SEND A LETTER! Flinging the deadly fruit through the open window of his balcony, Dave summoned a ghostly maid as the melon screamed with renewed fury.
"RAAAAAaaaaggggeee…"
"HASTE IS REQUIRED! PLACE THIS…IN THE BOX OF MAIL!"
"Of course, Master" Bowing with a jiggle of her large, ghostly breasts, the brunette spirit left with a smile.
"NOW! TO THE OPPOSITE OF THE FRONT YARD!" Laughing boisterously, Dave left his room, running down the steps with haste while almost tripping on his dragging cloak. Cutting past his grand hall and though the connecting passageways lined with paintings of himself and several ghostly spirits cleaning, he burst into the afternoon sun of the back gardens with a flutter of cloth.
Instantly locking eyes on the blue haired maid still trimming the hedges, he bounded forward as sunlight reflected off of his bald head like a polished cue ball.
"REJOICE SPIRIT OF LEVY! YOU BELOVED MASTER HAS RETURNED!"
"I want to kill you so bad right now you annoying asshole" Sneering the words as the gardening sheers clipped another small branch, she tried to ruin the pruning, but failed as she cut another few leaves that fluttered to the ground. "THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR HEAD! FUCK!"
*Snip Snip Snip*
"FEAR NOT! MY HEAD IS UNDETACHABLE!" Laughing will planting his fists on his hips, Dave used some of his magic to flutter his cloak, making it dance like a hero. Panning his gaze to the heart archway and the trimmed hedges modeled like his two favorite mages, Dave smiled as more of his maids trimmed the hedges along the exterior wall of his castle property.
"It shouldn't be…" Growling as she walked to the next line of hedges, Levy angrily trimmed as the sun beat down on her busty bosom. Turning her head to the back of the exposed man, she barely managed to turn, the gardening shears reflecting sunlight. "Right through the back…" Taking a very shaky step, Levy almost reached the annoying necromancer before she was flung back into position at the hedge row, her motion trimming the next branch.
"MISS LEVY! I failed to destroy the rage thief! He…his rage is greater than mine…" Clutching a gloved fist as he took a knee before McGarden, the talking melon had no excuse for failure.
"He's obviously powerful. And an idiot" Glaring as Dave swooned under the heart archway, Levy rubbed her ghostly eyes as tiny hearts floated from the man.
"I really hope I'm hallucinating those hearts"
"YOU ARE NOT!" Grinning, he spun once more as his eyes seemed to glow with joy at the suddenly opening garden gate that sat between the exterior wall and main castle.
"UNINTENDED VISITORS! HOW WONDERFUL! SO LONG AS THEY AREN'T THE MAGES OF DARKNESS! THEY SUCK!" Giving another boisterous laugh, Dave waited as the very familiar forms of Erza, Mira and Kagura walked in with the unfilled shell of Levy draped across Erza's shoulders.
Walking forward, the red head dumped the body on one of the many stone paths, a mere ten feet from Levy's spirit.
"We brought your body and…and what the…the hell are your wearing? Hahahaha!" Pointing, Erza really couldn't help herself as Mira and Kagura joined in.
"Levy's a maid! Do you have to say master too!?" Grabbing her stomach as laughter rippled, Kagura unleashed the humor.
"SHUT UP YOU BIMBO'S! THIS ASSHOLE STOLE MY SPIRIT!" Attempting to throw the shears at her friends, Levy could only trim another hedge with an angry snip.
"And you're doing yard work! HAHAHA! So much for the great Levy McGarden! Are you going to pop out of your top!?" Pointing at the maid outfit, Mira couldn't help herself.
"N…Normalface! Make sure to record…record her like this! Gwahahaha!" Laughing some more, this was the best thing Kagura had seen in months.
"I swear to god I'll get you all drunk and in bed with Gajeel"
"HAHAHAHA! I'd like to see you try…Levy the maid!" Guffawing, Mira was rife with mirth and joy before clutching her side with a sudden spike of pain. "Ahh, my battle wounds from Doomsday!"
"D…don't laugh so much…you…hahahaha!" Erza tried to explain, only to fail as the trio continued to laugh at the plight of their ghostly friend.
It only ended after three whole minutes with the black robed man approaching, his hands grasping the flaps of his cloak covering his body.
"HAHAHAHA! BEHOLD…DAVE THE NECROMANCER!"
"Oh crap, he's flashing us!" Bringing up her Boltok in a flash of movement, Erza simply fired first, blowing a hole through the man's head that sprayed gore and shattered bone shards into the nearby flower bed lining the main path.
The empty casing dropped to the lawned ground, disappearing in the grass as the weapon smoked a few tendrils from the barrel.
His head rapidly healed, practically un-noticed as the man slowly danced…then ripped his robe open like a back alley pervert much to the horror of Erza as she fired again into his chest, only to get the same result of rapidly healing immortality.
Floating, magical hearts spilled out from his skin, spilling over the three women like a wave of love.
"MAGES OF TAIL! MY…LOVE FOR MILTSU!" Grinning as he spurned more magical hearts, the floating symbols of love clogged the air as Mira tried to bat them away.
"What? What the hell is he going on about!?"
"They're getting in my hair!" flinging her unarmed hand, Erza tried to punch one as Kagura lightly stomped a few.
"This better not be a thing to get me with Natsu! Stupid floating hearts!" Stomping a few more, Kagura gasped as three impacted her face, covering her in pink sparkles and exploding glitter. But despite all their efforts, they were soon overwhelmed by Dave's hallucination as more magical hearts exploded around them like a bomb of glitter and love sparkles.
Magical hearts completely swamped the three, coating them all in a fine pink dust even as they fought with futility.
The horror passed after a minute, the three gasping as the remaining hearts floated upward into the serene sky.
"Ugh…I think I swallowed some…" Kagura uttered with a dark horror, the taste of love filling her mouth. Spitting, she tried to dispel the chalky candy taste as Mira rapidly tried to dislodge more glitter from her hair.
"I shot him twice! Is he immortal?" Cursing with confusion while dusting off her armor, Erza scowled as the glitter and dust seemed to coat them all in numerous heart shaped impacts. Studying her Boltok now covered in a sheen of pink, the woman glared at the bald necromancer.
"I AM!" Leaving his cloak open, Dave planted his fists on his pale, bare hips, his only clothing a pair of boxers with the Fairy Tail emblem.
"I've already tried to poison him and he survived Normal Face and his rage. But now…HE DROPPED HIS GUARD!" Running over on ghostly feet and a sway of ethereal silk, Levy jumped at Dave with the garden shears reflecting sunlight. "DIE!" Stabbing him in the back, blood spattered the nearby bed of flowers and graveled walkway while more arched and landed on Levy's large bosom of ghostly breasts.
"DIE YOU ANNOYING BASTARD!" Full of rage, she stabbed Dave numerous times with homicidal fury before finally planting the garden tool directly in his throat. Blood sprayed and arched, some splashing through the ghostly form of Levy as she stepped backward with a light bounce of her breasts.
"Did that do it?"
Pulling the shears out with a grin, Dave's numerous stab wounds healed like a reverse stitchwork of flesh. "I DID NOT REQUIRE A BACKRUB BUT THANK YOU SERVANT!" Smiling stupidly as sunlight bounced off his bald head, Dave suddenly reverted his gaze to the three living women and the unmoving body of Levy.
"I HAVE NO DESIRE FOR MORE TREES!"
"What? You're an idiot. No, we're here to return Levy to her body" Mira pointed, the woman's hair covered in pink dust and sparkles that rained down to her armored shoulders. Unfortunately, their equipped shields did nothing to stop the flow of pink.
Dave clenched his fists and extended his arms to the sky. "IMPOSSIBLE! THE NEW SPIRIT IS MINE! HOW CAN I DEPART WITH MY BELOVED SERVANT!?"
"I just tried to kill you"
"BELOVED SERVANT! I LOVE THE SPIRITS! THEY KEEP MY HOME UNTAINTED BY DUST!"
"So, your plan on keeping her?"
"INDEED! NOW SERVANT! DECAPITATE THE ELONGATED GRASS!"
"I'm not a fucking gardener! I'll urk—" Flung across the castle garden to the shed, Levy was thrown inside before re-emerging with a mechanical push mower. Trying to plant her feet, she started walking, cutting the lawn.
"YES! SHE LOVES THIS CHORE OF YARD!"
"He's a complete idiot…" Erza whispered to herself as she clutched her firearm, contemplating shooting him again just because he was annoying. Eyeing the other ghostly maids and butlers attending the garden, they didn't look hostile, which was good.
In fact, they didn't even make a mover after the numerous murder attempts.
"I'm going to regret asking this…" Muttering, Kagura stepped forward, dust still covering her armor, hair and face. "What will it take for you to release Levy to her body?"
"A TRADE!? ONLY ONE THING REMAINS THAT I DESIRE! NATSU AND MILLIANNA CONFESSING THEIR LOOOOVVEE!" Spinning as his cloak fluttered, Dave stared longingly at the trimmed hedges of the two mages under the archway. ENSURE THEIR COUPLING! AND I WILL RELEASE MY FAVORITE SERVANT!"
"DO IT! Fucking do it!" Yelling as she continued to mow the grass, Levy tried to aim for Dave, but remained on the same path.
"Fine. I'll go to this world's Fairy Tail and track down Millianna after. We still have a few hours" Sending away her heavy armor and weapons into the digistruct with a flash of light and pixels, Mira's outfit was now some black, tight pants and a purple shirt that hugged her nicely while the body shield tech hung from her right hip. Still mostly covered with pink dust and glitter, especially her hair, Mira summoned her magical wings, giving them a gust before lifting off.
"The two of us will stay here I guess" Erza input with a simple shrug, but Mira was already flying above the castle, the mage homing in on Magnolia that hugged the horizon nearly two hours away at top speed.
Spitting more heart dust from her mouth, Kagura turned to study Dave…then Levy mowing the garden lawn with the typical string of curses.
"Well, we might as well relax. He may be an idiot, but he's not trying to kill or maim us" Taking a seat at a patio set with several chairs near a gurgling fountain, Erza let out a small groan of relief. "Could use some refreshments…"
"INDEED! A PITCHER OF LEMONS SQUEEZED TO LIQUID FORM IS REQUIRED! SERVANT LILLY! BRING US THE DES-"
"Have Levy serve us drinks" Smiling wickedly, Kagura sat like a noble woman at the table, eyeing her ghostly friend who immediately twitched.
"Kagura…" Voice warping with new anger as grass clippings flew, Levy glared at her friend.
"Make sure the glasses have ice cubes. It's a hot day. Perhaps some dessert as well?" Erza suggested, the mage immediately picking up on the opportunity to make Levy their servant.
"STRAWBERRY AND BANANA! BRING THEM SERVANT! THEN FILL MY PORCELIEN COFFIN WITH HEATED WATER!" Picking up Levy with his necromancer magic, he flung her toward the castle walls once more.
"I SWEAR YOU'll REGRET THIS YOU BIT—"
"She may be dead right now, but so worth it…Hey Dave, make sure she pours my drink and calls me 'Mistress" Kagura suddenly added.
"SHE WILL BE HAPPY TO SERVE YOU BOTH WITH HER LIMBS AND HANDS!" Laughing again, Dave the Necromancer fell to the ground, his glare even with a few dandelions. Eating one, he chewed rapidly.
"THIS LAWN IS…DELICIOUS!"
"Figures Levy would be controlled by somebody like that" Trying to dust off more sparkles from her exposed skin, Erza gave up. It was basically dug into every crevice and they would need to thoroughly wash the armor.
Not to mention a shower.
"Serves her right for always teasing me and blaming me for every bad thing that happens" Turning up her chin, Kagura smiled as Levy came out a minute later, holding a silver platter with ice filled glasses of lemonade, a pitcher of the chilled beverage and two slices of cheesecake.
"I…I have your…refreshments…you assholes" Practically cracking her spirit teeth with anger, Levy set the items on the table as she glared at her friends like the devil.
"Please address me as 'Mistress Kagura"
"I'm Princess Erza!" Taking a bite of the dessert, the knight chewed happily as Levy stood there, her ghostly form twitching before throwing the silver platter at Dave in a violent scream. Embedding in his back as the sinew and skin bled crimson, the bald man simply ate another Dandelion. Chewing contently, Dave suddenly stood up, the silver platter sticking out of his body as gore dripped down like a waterfall of crimson.
"PREPARE MY BATH FOR BATTLE OF THE DUCKS!"
"You want to play with rubber ducks in a bath?" Growling as he pulled the platter free, the man simply nodded.
"THE RUBBER DUCKS NEED…AQUA!"
Turning to her friends who simply grinned with mischievous eyes as they enjoyed the patio meal, Levy gave another growl. "I swear I'll make you two regret this…"
"If we come across another Pandora, we'll help you track down Face McShooty so you can kill him" Kagura said simply before taking a sip of lemonade that dripped with condensation.
"Don't try to bribe me with something fun…super fun…DAMMIT! YOU KNOW I WANT TO KILL HIM SOOO BAD! ARRGHHH!" Marching into the house with angry, ghostly steps, Levy had no other choice but to draw Dave's bath.
"I…will concentrate on…RAGE!" chasing a random squirrel, the watermelon ran around the garden as the two living women simply enjoyed the silence among several ghosts.
Magnolia. Fairy Tail guild hall. Approximately two hours later…
Members were contently talking and joking, the entire guild finding enjoyment in a pleasant day with good food, great friends, and balmy summer weather that flowed through the open windows.
Mira and Lisanna served drinks with Kinana at the bar, the barmaids laughing and enjoying the sight of their many friends around the hall.
Wendy played with Asuka, the young teenager loving the little girl of Bisca and Alzack like a little sister.
Nearby at a table, Natsu wolfed down a plate of meat, a meal prepared by the Strauss sisters which was naturally delicious.
"NATSU! Drink something before you choke!" Lucy chided in warning as her friend ate ferociously.
"Wuh?" Gulping down some beer, the dragon slayer smiled. "But Mira's cooking is delicious! I have to eat it fast!" Taking another bite, Natsu's vision slowly slewed toward Erza, notably Millianna who had decided to visit.
For some reason, every time she came to visit Erza, Natsu always felt odd and fluttery. Not only that, but he could've sworn that she was staring at him sometimes.
Both were sitting at the same table, leaving them barely a few feet away as Erza talked with her childhood friend.
"I'm quite happy you came to visit today, Millianna. I was actually thinking of going to your guild to catch up, but you beat me too it" Taking a small bite of her favorite desert, the scarlet knight cast a warning gaze to Gray and Elfman who were threatening each other with insults.
"You two better not fight while we're hosting guests…" Glaring with feminine fury, both men gulped than rapidly shook hands.
"Ah, its okay Erza! That's what makes visiting so fun! Just the random craziness of your guild! I would love to see a fight break out!" Turning, she pointed at Natsu. "Natsu! Go fight Gray, but without a shirt!"
"That's oddly specific. Why would you want Natsu to be shirtless?" Erza asked with a questioning tone and small edge to her voice.
"Ah…NO REASON! Say! Happy's looking cute as a kitten today!" Grabbing the nearby cat, Millianna hugged him as the blue feline held onto his fish for dear life.
"Natsu! She caught me again!"
Looking at his little friend caught in the clutches of the cat loving woman, Natsu gulped, then promptly shook his head as Millianna squeezed Happy between her cleavage. "Sorry buddy, gotta finish this steak" About to take a bite, Natsu suddenly stopped. Rapidly standing up and facing the door, the mage gulped. "What…what incredible magic…"
"It's heading straight to the guild" Standing herself, Erza rapidly requipped into her standard armor while gripping a short sword.
"Everybody…prepare yourselves" Makarov warned, the guild master trying to dispel the fear that this force was bringing toward his children. Not even he or Gildarts could match this power, and it was nearly here.
"Holy shit…It's gigantic…" Laxus muttered as he took a stance with his team, their lunch forgotten.
Gripping some of her trusty cards, Cana stood near the bar as Bisca and Alzack readied their magical weapons, each mage giving a light tremble at the sheer…power of this coming force.
Natsu barely noticed it, but Millianna was standing right behind him, the woman shaking lightly in fear while Lucy gripped the golden key of Taurus. The celestial mage looked determined, but feeling the approaching magical power made her nervous. "Natsu…no matter what, I've got your back"
"I know, Luce"
Erza shifted her stance, coming to stand right near the Salamander while tightening the grip of her sword. "I don't know if we can beat this creature. It's magic fully encompasses the entire guild. Still, I will not surrender nor let harm come to my friends!" Raising the weapon in a battle stance, Erza breathed deeply and prepared herself for the coming conflict that might see them all perish.
"Stay behind me Levy" Gajeel commanded as he began to gather magic to protect the woman he deeply cared for. The script mage simply nodded, her book forgotten as Pantherlily entered his battle form.
Gray stood tall, the cool looking man gathering magic as Juvia stood right at his side, ready to do the same.
Each member could sense the unknown force landing right outside, no doubt readying itself for the slaughter.
"It's here"
The guild doors suddenly blew open with a heavy kick, flinging the hinges off as a white haired woman rushed in. Covered in a powder of pink dust and sparkles that stained her hair, exposed skin and neck, the exact double of Mira ran in past the mild destruction. Instantly spotting her target, the older Mira ran toward the dragon user in a heavy sprint.
"NATSU! MAGNOLIA IS IN DANGER! THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE IT FROM DESTRUCTION IS TO FORM A HAREM WITH MILLIANNA, MIRA AND LISANNA IN THAT SPECIFIC ORDER!" Gripping the man by the shoulders, she practically screamed the words as she shook him frantically.
"WHAT THE HELL!? ANOTHER MIRA!" Nearly falling over in shock, the entire guild stared dumbfounded as this obviously older Mira with a vertical scar above her eye tried to drag Natsu toward the door.
"Is that me!? How is her magic this strong!? And why is she covered in sparkly dust!?" Unsure what to do or think, Mira spluttered as the words finally registered. "Did you say I have to join a harem!? What's going on!? YOU SCARED US TO DEATH! WE THOUGHT YOU WERE A MONSTER!"
"I don't have the time to explain other me! Just confess your love to Natsu in the next two and a half hours to save Magnolia!"
"How did she know I wanted to do that? But this way is…it's not romantic at all!" Suddenly realizing a few were looking at her, the barmaid tried to ignore the heat gathering in her cheeks as mages began to shout in more surprise.
"Why is she covered in pink dust!?"
"Is she from Edolas!?"
"Did she same harem!?"
"What is the meaning of this, imposter!?" Erza suddenly yelled, raising her blade toward the double as the steel seemed to dance with sunlight.
Looking her way, Strauss's eye twitched . "There's only a few hours left before the Necromancer launches an attack on this city killing everybody! The only way to placate him is to have Natsu and Millianna confess their feelings under an archway of love! But he also wants Mira and Lisanna to be the second and third girlfriends! That's what he specifically wants! I know it's crazy, but it's true!" Shaking Natsu some more, the poor man was simply struggling to stay awake from the shock.
"Those three women will kill me if that happens…why couldn't we just fight!"
"Why would an all powerful necromancer want that?" Narrowing her eyes at this second Mira, Erza still didn't lower the blade as a strange sheen of energy seemed to cover the visitor.
"Because he's a fucking idiot! But insanely powerful! He's already trapped Levy in spirit form and Kagura is trying to hold his rage at bay! But…my Erza…she…she was hit with the full force of the heart lust spell. This dust is what exploded outward…I narrowly avoided it" Strauss bit her bottom lip, the woman showing a trembling emotion of sorrow as she turned away from the unmoving knight.
"No way…did this necromancer kill your Erza!?" Lucy shouted in shock even as many still stood like dumbfounded zombies by the mere existence of this other Mira.
"No…I don't think I can repeat it here…but…He hit her with a lust spell and…and now…she's willingly having sexual intercourse with…four men…RIGHT NOW! It's complete enslavement of the body! What I saw…" hugging herself through the very tight purple shirt, Strauss let a few tears drip down her cheeks. "I can still save her, but only if those four come with me right now!"
The mention of Erza having intercourse finally snapped Makarov and some of the older men out of their stupor. Cocking his head, Wakaba looked at Erza in a new light. "You mean there is an Erza right now…doing that? Think I could come…watch?"
"HYAAA!" Throwing the sword, it missed Wakaba and Makarov by inches, embedding in the wall up to the hilt.
Turning, Erza was all fury as a red aura seemed to engulf her. "You will forget any mention of any Erza taking part in any lewd activities. If you don't…I'll make you forget myself…" Returning her attention to Strauss, Erza summoned a new sword. "I will assist you in freeing your Erza from such a nightmarish ordeal"
Suddenly waving, Strauss tried to dispel the suggestion. "No, that's okay! I just need those four" Grabbing Natsu, the visitor picked him up bridal style. "Happy! Grab Millianna! Mira you have the same abilities as me! Carry your sister!"
"Hey! Wait a minute! I didn't get to finish my steak!" Trying to escape, Natsu was held tight as the woman pressed him to her very ample bosom with a perverted smile. "Oh, your Mira is gonna be a lucky girl as the second queen!"
Turning toward the door as her magical demon wings appeared, Strauss shot out of the guild, leaving a gust of dust and turned over tables from the magical outburst of flight.
"Come on, Lis! This may be crazy, but our home depends on us confessing our love…which won't be hard at all!"
"Right! I already practiced being his wife when we were kids!" Grinning, both Strauss women had discussed their potential love, but hadn't even considered a small harem for their resident fire dragon. Summoning her demon form, Mira picked up her sister and left the guild hall in a similar burst of speed.
"AHHH! WAIT FOR MEEE!" Millianna screamed as Happy picked her up and flew with a surprising speed.
Suddenly, the guild hall was quiet, the silence nearly unnerving.
"What…WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED!?" Shouting at the top of his lungs, Gray looked around at the insane turn of events.
"I think…I think we were just visited by the multiverse? Or a different Mira? And from the few bits we've gathered, her team is in dire straights and what she said about that other Erza…" Levy went white, her mind trying to fathom doing…that.
Especially with multiple men…
"And under a forced spell too…that's just horrible. This necromancer must be pure evil and completely insane" Lucy gulped as the overwhelming power of that strange Mira already reached the city limits.
"Did Lisanna say she practiced being Natsu's wife?" Evergreen asked offhandedly, the detail missed by most as the overlaying threat loomed over them all.
"If somebody of that overwhelming power couldn't stop him, what chance do we have?" Cana gulped, the sheer magical strength of that other Mira still tingling the air, making sweat bead down between her bikini clad breasts.
"But we can't do nothing! Assuming she's telling the truth, I could never leave a woman in such a situation like that! We have to help that other Erza!" Bisca suddenly shouted, the mother curling a fist at the sheer evil of it all.
"I will go and free her of this despicable mage. Then I will…slay those responsible" In a flash of light, Erza re-equipped her flight armor, the stylized blue's and whites giving her the ability to fly. "All of you inform the city of the coming attack. If we can evacuate Magnolia, we could save countless people"
"Wait Erza! I'll come too! Not only to help that other version of you, but to save Natsu from this necromancer!" Lucy suddenly cried out, her naturally good heart knowing she couldn't simply stand by as her friend was forced into a confession of love with three women against their wills.
Giving a swift nod, Erza scooped up the blonde key mage, leaving the guild hall in a gust of air and billowing paper.
"Laxus! Get to the mayor's office and inform him of the coming attack! The rest of you, prepare for a possible necromancer attack! Wendy, we will need your healing magic. No doubt some will be injured"
"Right!" Dispersing with rapidity, the guild set about to save the city from the lie of Strauss.
Wind blew past Strauss, whipping her hair as particles of heart dust flew in a contrail behind her flapping demonic wings. Grinning, she kept Natsu's face nuzzled to her breasts, practically suffocating the man.
"Mpfh! Mrrffgh!" Pulling his head free of the enticing bosom, Natsu tried to look up at this new Mira as he tried to breathe. "ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME WITH THOSE THINGS!?"
Fluttering her wings once more, Strauss gave a warm laugh. "Oh Natsu, you should be enjoying them since your about to get three women as your girlfriend's"
"That…that doesn't even work! All of them will kill me!"
Strauss shrugged, flying high above the nearby forest that hugged the edge of the city. "It happens more often than you would think. But just think of the great food! The lovely smiles…the babies…oh, I'm soo jealous!" Hugging him once more to her breasts in mid flight, she ignored the man's struggles before looking behind her. Clicking her tongue in annoyance, she could see Erza trailing far behind, pushing her flight armor to catch up with the group. Luckily, the added weight of Lucy did keep her from gaining too much speed.
"Damn bimbo…"
Natsu broke free again, lifting his face from the heavenly bosom as he looked down at the landscape for a moment…then to Mira and her scowling face covered in pink dust. Staring at the scar above her eye, the man frowned at how old it looked.
The fact somebody hurt Mira…any Mira really made him mad.
"How did you get that scar?"
"Russian soldier in another universe. Slashed me with a bayonet. I killed him" Studying the male, Strauss gave a light sigh, laced with depression as the wind whipped past. "Listen Natsu. I've killed lots of people across the multiverse. Very evil people. Monsters, aliens…some places are just pure insanity. The only thing that really keeps me going is the group I'm with…and the love I have for my own Natsu. I want to have a family with him, but every new place…every fight takes me further away from him and my home"
Looking back once more, Strauss was pleased to see Mira and Lisanna holding steady, even if they were still a minute behind.
"I'm sorry"
"Don't be. Just the way the multiverse works. What you need to do is to dig down and find out how your feel for those women following us" Tightening her grip, Mirajane remembered the atrocities of several Earthland's. "Trust me…you don't want to regret not telling them"
Natsu was silent for a minute, the passing wind blowing his salmon locks as his scarf fluttered. "Does this necromancer really want me in a harem? I recognize the outfit…you wore that when you and Erza still fought as kid's"
"Dammit…" giving another scowl, Strauss really couldn't lie to the man…especially considering how comforting his warmth was. "She's fine. We just happen to be rivals. Not as bad as we were considering the slew of shit we've seen and done, but when the chance arises, we will mess with each other. She would've done the exact same thing and tell you some lie about a lust spell"
"YOU SHOULDN'T LIE ABOUT THAT! IT'S HORRIBLE!" Yelling in her ear, Strauss almost dropped the man but held on tight before returning a feminine shout.
"Well she shouldn't have sold naked pictures of me to Makarov for free cheesecake! Now that pervert in Five eight three nine nine knows what I look like in the shower! That damn strawberry bimbo!" Gritting her teeth, Strauss once again looked at Natsu. "And just so you know, I've witnessed worse things…so when we land, you will either confess your feelings to those three, or turn them down"
"Is the Necromancer even real? Because now I think you made the whole thing up" Giving a deadpan stare as they passed a flight of birds, Natsu was finding that this Mira could easily play on his emotions and guilt with how convincing she was with lies. "Although, our Mira can easily trick men with her fake tears…I've fallen victim to that every time. Is it a trait for them all? I'll have to ask Levy since she's really smart"
"Of course he is! And Levy really is dead! Well, dead-ish! We have her healed body and just need her soul to be released by the Necromancer so you better be kissing Millianna under that love arch!" Glaring her eyes, Natsu suddenly gulped as the deadly glare bore down at him. "And you will make Mira your second queen…understand?"
"Uhh…got it" Laughing nervously, Natsu knew there was really nothing he could do against his own Mira, let alone one that was stronger than most of their guild combined. "But…uh…how can you speak so normally about Levy dying!? She's your friend, right!?" Getting more agitated, Natsu had no desire to hear about the kind script mage being dead.
Strauss shrugged very nonchalantly. "Meh, not the first time. I've been dead too. Luckily, we have a backup for revival. Now, let's get back on topic about you dating Mira" Grinning wolfishly, she watched the fire mage flinch then look away, his words nearly drowned out by the passing wind.
"What if she doesn't like me like that?"
"Then it's her stupid fucking loss" Swerving around more birds, Mira fluttered her demonic wings in a heavy beat, then glanced back at her flying double carrying Lisanna. Slowing down a bit, Strauss was soon flying next to her maroon dressed twin. "HEY!"
"Yes…other Mira?" talking loudly over the passing air, Mira held her sister close as the two flew at an even pace with their silver locks fluttering.
"Do you want Natsu as your boyfriend!? I didn't have time to do recon or study your guild! For all I know, you could like Laxus or Gray!"
Lisanna curled her fists, growing defiant. "Natsu was my husband when we were kids raising Happy, and that hasn't changed! I'll be a great wife even if this Necromancer is threatening the city!"
Mira stared lovingly at Natsu in the other woman's arms, her cheeks tinting red as she really wished she could be feeling his natural warmth and kind heart. "I ahhh…wouldn't mind…hehe…he always brightens my day"
"Hah! There you go, that's already two of three!" Grinning as Natsu went red from the sudden realization, Strauss looked back, giving another annoyed look as she muttered lowly. "Damn that Strawberry bitch. Tell one they enjoy multiple men, and they all lose their shit across the damn multiverse" Speeding up the flight and pushing a little more magic, Mirajane ignored the pursuing Erza and Lucy far behind them.
"You really shouldn't have lied about that…uh…other Mira!"
"Tch! Odds are you might have five girlfriends, not just three judging by how much magic she's using just to try and catch up with us" Scowling, Strauss kept flying as pink particles of dust slew behind her in a contrail of rainbow sparkles.
"HEY! YOU BETTER NOT BE STEALING MY MAN!" Millianna screeched, the cat girl being flown by Happy and trailing third.
"Oh hey, three for three you stud!"
Natsu simply shook in horror, the fact that he would probably be murdered by women in the future clawing through his mind as the stream of pink dust continued to rain on the world below in a fall of magical sparkles.
Dave's castle. Approximately two hours later…
"Is there…anything else?" Clenching her ghostly fists, Levy watched as the bald man played in his bathtub, creating a mock naval battle with some rubber ducks and a tiny tugboat. Eyeing the empty cans of kerosene and the rampant scorch marks of the tub, Levy had already tried to burn him alive. But like the previous attempts, he simply enjoyed the warmth of his skin constantly being burned.
Standing up suddenly with a splash, Dave gave Levy a full frontal view of his junk, causing her to ghostly vomit in the corner.
"NO! THE UNION OF LOVE IS…ALMOST HERE! FETCH ME THE ROBE OF KINDNESS!" Flinging her to his bedroom through the open door, Levy returned a moment later with a skull decorated robe with spatters of gore and blood.
"YES! IT IS FULL OF FRIENDSHIP!" Dressing quickly, Dave decided to float himself out of his room and down the stairs, bringing Levy with him among a trail of curses and threats.
"You're such garbage…" Passing through a wall toward the kitchen, Levy halted, finding Erza still covered in pink heart dust and white frosting from gorging on numerous slices of strawberry cheesecake. Most of it coated her lips and cheeks, the woman obviously eating like a deranged animal as that damn heart sparkle powder covered her nearly everywhere.
"I may have eaten too much" Licking her lips of the white and pink frosting, Erza basked in the fulfillment of her favorite dessert as more icing dripped down her chin, mixing with the sparkles and pink dust.
"It's amazing you're not fat" Walking through the wall, Levy quickly stood near her body laying in a heap on the ground with slowly blinking eyes and a very light breathing.
Kagura still sat at the patio table, simply reading and enjoying some chilled lemonade as the summer evening began to stain the sky. "Mira's back" Saying it suddenly, the gravity mage kept reading as the woman in question came in for a landing hard and fast.
"WHERE'S ERZA! I NEED TO SAVE HER!" Natsu suddenly shouted the moment he was set down.
"I thought I told you that was a lie?" Mira asked with a cocked eyebrow, the scar pulling at her forehead.
"Right…yeah…so she's fine?"
"I guess? But's she a mess after what she was shoving in her mouth" Crossing her arms, Levy stood in defiance over her body as Natsu gulped and studied the ghostly apparition of his guild mate in a very revealing maid uniform.
"Uh…Levy? What…"
"Just kiss your girlfriend already so I can get back in my meat suit" Pointing, Levy noticed the light flinch that came from the fire dragon slayer.
"NATSUUU! We're here!" Happy wailed as he came in for a landing as well, nearly dropping the cat mage. A few moments later, Mira and Lisanna dropped into the garden, hastily looking around then putting up their guard with the presence of numerous spirits and apparitions.
"YESSS! THE PAIRING OF ROMANCE…MILTSU!" Spreading his arms as his skull and blood robe fluttered, Dave grinned as more sunlight danced off his bald head.
"YOU! You think I'll let you get away with this!? What you plan for my home!? I won't let you destroy Magnolia!" Natsu yelled as he took a fighting stance, his fists alight with flame.
"Yeah! Nobody does that to Erza, no matter the universe!" Mira shouted as she stood side by side with her sister.
"Exactly! She's my friend!" Tail twitching, Millianna and the rest missed the very questioning look Kagura gave Strauss.
"What did she say to the guild here? Eh, its too nice and we shift in a ten minutes anyway" Sipping more lemonade, Kagura ignored the shouting as she read her book.
Placing a delicate finger on her bottom lip, Strauss gave an innocent look. "Oh yeah, I lied about all that. She's fine. Who knows, maybe it will reignite your rivalry" Shrugging her shoulders, she summoned her armor from the digistruct as it rippled with light and began to cover the take over mage.
"Why would you do that!?" Mira suddenly shouted at her twin, the armored mage giving another uncaring shrug before sitting down with a light groan. "She's my rival. How else will I mess with her? Now Natsu, go claim your women" Easing back in the chair, she used Levy's body as a footrest.
"Hey! Boots off the tits, Mira! I need them to look sexy!" Trying to punch her friend, Levy simply passed through with another ghostly bellow of rage.
"I'm Normal Face" Looking up at Millianna with his blank stare, the cat woman took a cautious step back toward the heart archway, the watermelon tracking her movement.
"What the hell is going on here…"
Dave finally responded to Natsu, the mental delay misfiring neurons in his stupid brain.
"BUT! SHE ASKED FOR…MORE! NOW…BEGIN THE CEREMONY!" Waving his hands, nearly two dozen maids and butlers lined the path, each bowing as they began to fling tiny heart petals upon the stone path.
Natsu backed up nervously as well, then looked over his shoulder to finally study the hedge shaped form of himself leaning into kiss Millianna under a heart awning. "What's with this guy?"
"THE LOVE OF MY SHIP WILL COMMENCE!"
Both mages looked at the bald man as he fluttered his cloak and ran forward, pushing the two under the heart. "NOW! THE INTERIOR EMOTIONS OF DESIRE WILL BEGIN!"
"Ah…hehe…this is really weird and awkward…" Millianna tried to laugh, but the poor woman was just a mess of emotion and heated cheeks.
"Yeah…the last few hours have been crazy" Turning his attention to the second Mira, she gave him a thumbs up and a wink.
While still covered in pink dust and glitter. The fact her stored armor hadn't been cleaned at all and was rife with the stuff made her look like an ashen rose…with deadly weapons that none of the local mages wanted to learn or deal with.
"So…uh…I'm not the best with words" rubbing the back of his head, the messy salmon hair shifted as Natsu tried to grin, putting the cat mage at ease.
"I really like you! Ever since you helped us all at the Tower of Heaven! Then your return at the Grand Magic Games and…and your really nice and strong and…" Balling her fists in nervousness, Millianna simply went for it and rose up on her toes, kissing Natsu gently on the lips.
Dave jumped up, his friendship robe nearly opening to flash the gathered women and ghosts. "YEEESSSSSS! THE SHIP HAS SAILED FROM THE PORT OF LOVE! MILTSU IS BORN!"
"Shut up you annoying loudmouth! I just had my first kiss!" Throwing a rock at Dave as her cat ears twitched, it broke against his nose, splattering blood. But it quickly healed with a sickening pop of regrown cartilage.
"DELICOUS! JUST LIKE THE DANDELIONS OF LAWN! YOU ARE FREE OF YOUR VOLUNTEER EMPLOYMENT MY WONDERFUL MAID…LEVY!" Extending his hands toward the spirit, he shot her with bolts of black lightning…then promptly threw her into her own body with a ghostly wail of agony.
"Did it work?" Lisanna asked, the girl blushing and jealous that Natsu just kissed another woman in front of her.
That should have been her.
"Ugh…fuck…FUCK THAT SUCKED!" Jumping to her feet, the scarred bluenette opened her right hand as she cackled like a horror movie villain, her gaze instantly falling upon Dave who was still gushing and rolling among some flowers. "I said I was going to kill you when I got my body back…Shredder Ball…" Hissing the words as dozens of pieces of parchment flew and jinked above her palm like a roiling sphere, the armor clad scientist grinned maliciously.
"Now now, no need to be hasty, right? After all, you got your body back and there's no threat to Magnolia or Erza…just a weird Necromancer" Mira tried to placate, holding up both palms in an easing manner to the very hostile woman.
"No…he turned me into a maid…and MADE ME A FUCKING SERVANT!" Throwing the orb of swirling paper overhand, it launched at Dave and quickly surrounded him.
"CUTS OF PAPER!"
"Yeah…that's right" Closing her fist, the paper enclosed on Dave, cutting him into meat cubes that plopped to the ground in a nightmarish fashion in a mere eyeblink.
"Holy crap…" Natsu gulped, the man instantly sensing the murderous intent of Levy as she curled her fist then looked at Kagura with a serene smile.
"He may be immortal, but that felt damn good! I haven't cut anybody up like that in a few universes!" Grinning, she glanced at the multiversal timer, finding only two minutes remained. "Shit, lets get ready" Typing a new command, Normal Face was deconstructed, the rage melon disappearing in a flash into the wrist mounted device. Hitting another button, the helmet reformed in a ripple of plates, falling over Levy's head as she pulled her LMG from the back plate.
The bayonet glistened in the light, the weapon fully loaded and ready to kill.
"IS SHE A MANIAC! WHAT HORRIBLE MAGIC!" Mira gulped as she stepped backward, accidentally kicking a few pieces of Dave that were already starting to congeal and link together like a liquid puddle of gore and tissue. She may be S-class, but no way could she beat that type of spell.
"That was barely a handful of seconds!"
The fact these strange visitor women didn't flinch at the sight of such horrible magic made all the mages extremely nervous, none wanting to antagonize.
"Suppose you're right" Standing up as pink dust and glitter coated her armor, Kagura prepared in the closing minutes, the woman gripping her lancer rifle and checking it one last time. Revving the chainsaw bayonet for a few seconds, the gravity mage made sure there was a full magazine.
A bug flew past her vision, the fly buzzing in annoyance. Lifting her rifle in a snap at the tiny insect, Kagura prepared to fire as her hatred for insects flared. "Damn bugs…"
But she saved the bullet, the fly flittering away as she lost track.
"Hey…make sure you have fun in your new harem. And Natsu, Mira is the second queen" Shaking her index finger in a lecturing tone, she grinned as Scarlet came from the house, the woman idly wiping the last of the frosting from her lips.
"There's the castle!" Lucy yelled out with a pointed finger as her friend labored to keep them both afloat. Having pushed nearly all her magic into the flight from Magnolia, the knight could feel her magic reaching its limit as she futilely tried to keep up with that strange, second Mira that reminded her of their long buried rivalry.
"I see it. And Lucy, make sure not to be struck by this…lust spell" Gritting her teeth, she had no doubt her helpless double from…wherever… "Actually, I don't know much about them except they're trying to save Magnolia from a beastly man"
Regardless, Erza would stop this man and his companions…even if it meant taking a life. Hair fluttering like a crimson wave, Erza tilted her flight past the lone tower and aimed for the rear garden. From this height, it looked well maintained with stone pathways, hedges, flower beds and several fountains and ponds. Separated by a high wall that ran the length of the property, Erza spotted Natsu near Millianna and the Strauss sisters as Happy quivered behind them all.
Crashing into the ground as Lucy screamed, Erza rose, staring at her double still licking her lips of the last few dredges of white frosting.
"I'm too late! She's already cleaning off the…the essence of those men! And judging by the glitter and pink dust, she must have danced for them as well…like a woman of ill repute!"
Running forward past a pile of strange, flesh colored cubes rejoining themselves, Erza rushed toward her lust filled twin who was thankfully wearing armor.
"That must mean she finished them all off and requipped! I have to snap her out of it!"
Of course, Erza knew the best way to break somebody out of spell was to treat them like they were unconscious.
Beat it out of them.
"Oh hey! Sorry we didn't get to meet, but we'll be shifting in a less than a minute" Scarlet waved, the sparkles and pink dust coating her like a blanket of former desires.
"WAKE UP!" Punching the other redhead in the jaw, Erza tried to follow through but failed as the twin counter attacked with a punch of her own.
"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR YOU BITCH!?"
"I will free you from your lust! You don't need to have sex with four men at once! Remember your friends and break free of this vile magic!" Practically screaming the words while wiping a few flecks of blood from her lip, Erza stared at her doppleganger from another universe.
Scarlet stared dumbfounded for a moment, then promptly spun on her heel toward the mocking laugh of Strauss as her helmet rippled into place, complete with a slight hiss of the seal.
"What did you do you gray haired whore!?" Snarling, Scarlet wanted to beat her rival down, but there was no time as the shift was only seconds away. "DAMMIT!" Hitting her own wrist, the helmet rippled into place, fully enclosing the last of the women before they disappeared with a sudden pop and flare of dust.
"W…What is going on!?" Lucy screeched, the buxom blonde completely shocked by the sudden disappearance of the four.
Dave the necromancer slid between Erza and Lucy, his grin wide as he stood completely naked. After all, even the best friendship robe couldn't survive Levy's rage.
"IT IS…VICTORY! MILTSU HAS BEEN CONFIRMED!"
"The necromancer… HE'S A PERVERT AND A VILLIAN! GET HIM LUCY!" Erza shouted as she kicked the man in the groin, the knight crushing the privates with a mighty armored foot.
"Right! Lucy kick!" Kicking the man as her bosom heaved, Lucy then stomped on his foot. "This is for threatening Magnolia!"
"AND THIS FOR NOT HAVING CLOTHES!" Punching Dave as hard as she could, Erza shattered the man's nose, spraying droplets of blood before it started to heal.
"MY BONES! THEY ARE THE REVERSE OF SOLID!" Standing tall as the two pummeled him, Dave stared at Natsu and Millianna, his nudity available for all to see while he unleashed a weird grin.
"Master? Should I bring you a new cloak?" Bowing timidly, the maid was an ethereal beauty as the man chuckled with mirth.
"WHAT USE IS A CLOAK DURING THE DAY OF LAWN! BRING REFRESHMENTS TO CELEBRATE!" Taking a wide stance, all could see Dave's privates which only prompted a worse beating from Erza and Lucy.
"That's the second worse thing I've seen in the last ten minutes…" Turning away with a hint of green, Natsu gulped as his stomach churned.
"Should we tell them that the whole thing was just a ploy by that other Mira to resurrect that murderous Levy?" Mira asked her sister who simply shrugged…then grimaced as Lucy kicked the man in the genitals with a sickening crunch.
"Not yet. Let them beat on this weirdo for a while. Plus, knowing Erza, she might blame you for that…that other Mira lying about the lust spell and Magnolia attack"
"She wouldn't think that, right? I would never say something so horrible and lie like that" Tapping her foot, Mira took a few seconds to think. "Actually…she might? That could restart our rivalry after all these years. BUT! I'm not worried. After all…"
"Right. Nearly forgot" Spinning on her heel as her Maroon dress fluttered, Mira smiled at the object of her desire. "Natsu! You're taking me on a date tomorrow! Then my sister the day after!"
"Oh crap…" Feeling a chill crawl up his spine as Happy stared at a buzzing bee nearby, Natsu found that both Erza and Lucy were giving him a new glare, the two instantly halting their pummeling of the immortal.
"Natsu…"
The poor slayer could have sworn that both women were on fire, their female aura's crackling with power.
"BEHOLD! FEMALES OF JEALOUSY! BRING ME…AN APPLE!" Laughing, Dave simply stood and grinned as Millanna grabbed her new boyfriend's hand and pulled him toward the castle in a desperate bid to escape the furious Erza and blonde key mage.
So that's it! An idea from Unknown Legion. Hope he likes it. Also…don't take this one too seriously. Just random shit and weirdness. But if you have any idea for universes, hit me up. Can't promise anything, but if its weird, crazy or bloody, there's a good chance I may write it!
Anyway, I'll work on Embers next, then a few chapters for Bisca.
The happy