2 hours later, a small group of UNIT agents greeted the team in the Doctor's room.
"I'm Captain Arisa Magumbo. I'm told the Doctor is in a regenerative coma?" the agent who seemed to be in charged, presented herself, and asked dr House. He nodded.
"We need to know how to treat him. He had a fever and uneven heartrates," Chase explained.
The agents followed House to the meeting room.
Differential Meeting Room
House- The Doctor's fever, combined with the exhaling of regeneration energy, points to a spike in energy in the brain.
Captain Magumbo- According to reports by a former companion of his, Rose Tyler, these symptoms line up with a "neuron implosion". Apparently the prescribed cure is tea.
Chase- And how do we give him that? He's unconcious.
Cameron- some treatments are given through inhaling them. Just let him breathe in the steam.
House- Alright, get a nurse to cook up some tea, put the cup right next to his nostrils, however you can!
As ordered, tea was placed next to the Doctor. He began inhaling the fumes.
A while later, the Doctor's eyes blinked open. He sat up abruptly and looked around. He realized he was in a hospital. He pushed the call button, which sent Doctor Chase into his room.
"Doctor! You're awake!" Chase exclaimed in surprise at the clearl consciousness of his patient.
"Yes I am. Lovely nap. What happened after I blacked out?" the Doctor asked Chase.
"Your ship," he began. "The TARDIS," the Doctor corrected. Chase continued, "The TARDIS took you to this hospital and alerted House of your condition, he brought you in. We got UNIT agents sent over, who suggested curing you with tea.
"Tea fumes! Superheated infusion of free radicals and tannin. They remembered!" The Doctor said with glee.
"How are you feeling so far?" Chase asked.
"Good. Bit cold, probably from the ice pack over there. Don't know about my pulses," the Doctor answered ,and began checking his arm. Chase quickly grabbed the other arm. They found slight unevenness still.
"Hmm. Seems my hearts are still struggling to catch up. Should be better with bedrest. Good thing I'm in a hospital, TARDIS is way to lively for a nap," the Doctor noted.
"Good. We should get you out of here soon. Toilet's over there if you need it," Chase informed him, pleased with the Doctor's improved condition.
"Think I'll be alright. Bladder's plenty bigger than a human's. Should be a day or too. Thanks anyway," The Doctor responded politely.
"Wouldn't make assumptions if I were you," Chase advised with a smile, walking out. The Doctor laid back down, grabbing a copy of a Harry Potter book from his coat pocket.
Day 2- 2:32 AM
The Doctor woke up in a cold sweat, and summoned Cameron who was the one assigned to night duty.
"What's the problem? Can't sleep?" Cameron asked him kindly.
"No. I've been sweating in my sleep. Could you check my temperature, hard to do it with my own hand," he requested, shifting uncomfortably.
"Sure," Cameron replied, putting a thermometer in his ear.
"14,9. You're actually a smidgen under your baseline temperature. Could it be a cold sweat?" she asked.
"It feels like it now, figured it just got cooled by the room," The Doctor remarked.
Cameron, pulled aside the comforter, uncovering the wet spot. She rubbed a cotton pad on it and smelled it.
"Smells off," Cameron noted. The Doctor grabbed the pad on sniffed it.
"Oh..", he muttered silently in realization.
"You know what it is?" Cameron asked, noticing his reaction.
"Yes. I don't think it's sweat. It's urine. I'm sorry," The Doctor apologized, slightly embarrassed.
"It's okay, your brain was in overdrive 12 hours ago. It happens," Dr Cameron assured him.
"I'll call a nurse to get you new sheets," she told him, leaving the room. The Doctor went into the bathroom to clean up a little.
Foreman ran into the nurse in the hallway.
"Those sheets for the Doctor?" he asked her. She nodded.
"He wet the bed," she explained.
Foreman went into House's office and told him what happened.
"What do the files say about his urinary system?" he asked House, wondering if there was cause for concern.
"We can't rely on those yet, we can't be sure his systems are working within normal range yet. He inhaled tea, it probably condensed as his body cooled down. Who knows how long it's been since his last potty break," House replied with a shrug, not really worried.
The Doctor was woken up again at 5 AM by a need for the toilet. He walked to bathroom and went, frowning as he walked back to bed.
Too early for another pee, he thought with confusion.
Chase greeted the still sligthly groggy, Time Lord in the morning.
"How did you sleep? After 2 AM, I mean," he asked the Doctor, who blushed, but nodded in resignation.
"Not too well, woke up 3 hours later to empty my bladder," the Doctor answered with a sigh.
Like Pavlov's dogs, his bladder took his words as a prompting to wake up, itself.
"Ooh, speaking of," the Doctor remarked, bending over as his bladder spasmed hyper-actively. He excused himself to the toilet, once more.
As Chase heard him wash his hands, he asked the Doctor if he was thirsty.
"Not really. Still some energy traces in my urine. Reckon my four kidneys are maintaining water levels to expel it faster," the Doctor noted, sighing as he understood why he was peeing at human intervals.
"Well then, see? Told you not to assume things about your bladder. You just gotta let it do its thing. Run its course, so to speak," Chase advised.
"Not like I have much choice. Don't much fancy wetting the bed again," the Doctor replied sarcastically, in agreement.
"Neither does any human," Chase said with a chuckle. "By the way, what color was your urine just now?" he asked, getting the pen and chart ready.
"No infections. Minus the glowing yellow, brown," The Doctor answered.
Chase checked the table over possible urine colors for a Time Lord. Brown signified a "tea stuff" surplus.
"I think we're gonna need to install a catheter, get the excess tannin out," dr Chase explained to the Doctor. "Won't hurt, but WILL let you sleep and pee at the same time," he assured the Doctor with a smile. The Doctor grinned, and nodded in agreement.
Foreman walked into the Doctor's room. He noticed the Time Lord was bent over on his side with his knees up.
"Something wrong with the fluid?" He asked, referring to the diuretic they were administering.
"Yeah, that. It's Radolin, right?" The Doctor asked.
"Yeah, according to our notes the correct diuretic," Forman confirmed.
"Wrong! Xylodine is a Gallifreyan diuretic, Radolin sends harmful substances out of you BOTH ways.." the Doctor explained with an annoyed sigh. The catheter meant he couldn't get out of bed to deal with his stomach.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll get you a bedpan," Foreman apologised, grabbing a bedpan from a table next to the door. What followed was a mildly humiliating experience of the Doctor pooping in a metal dish.
A switch of medication and a 5 hour nap later,
The Doctor was finally discharged. After thanking the hospital staff, saluting Captain Magumbo begrudgingly, and about 3 more trips to the loo, as the diuretic was still in his system, the Doctor climbed into bed dreaming of meeting Queen Elizabeth again the next day. The End.