Pidge was walking on eggshells around me. She avoided me the morning (? We're in space so….) after I woke up. It was fine though. We were never particularly close.
"…Keith?" I looked up to see Pidge and the rest of the occupants of the castle behind her.
I blinked a few times, sitting up straighter (heh) on the couch.
"Yes…?" Shiro came and sat next to me, setting his flesh hand on my shoulder. Oh, this is definitely an intervention. My eyes drifted towards Lance whose face reddened.
"Listen Keith. The…memories we saw when Pidge, uh, dug around in your mind," Shiro said. Huh, so that wasn't a normal feeling. "We're just a little worried about you."
I felt myself shrink in. Scratching the back of my neck, I took a deep breath in. I might as well get it out now.
"What, uh, what do you want to know?" My voice wavered, but I covered it with a cough. I made eye contact with Allura who gave me a strained smile. She still didn't trust me. Looking down at my hands, I could feel everyone's gaze on me. Then a weight settled beside me. Lance.
"May I?" I looked at him blankly before he started towards my hand. I flinched and he stopped.
"I-sorry. Go ahead." Would I have let anyone else do this? I looked towards Shiro, then the rest of the Voltron team. No. I wouldn't have.
Both mine and Lance's hands shook as Lance pulled up the sleeve of my jacket only to see unmarked skin except for a long healed thick ropey scar near my elbow. It was from when I broke my arm, I explained. He looked at me confused for a moment. He grabbed my other arm and pulled up the other sleeve to see five small scars all in a neat line. Obviously intentional.
"I, uh, I only did it a few times. It hurt and I thought it made me feel better," I took a deep breath. "It did, for a while, but it wouldn't solve my problems."
Keith's face twisted in on itself. I looked up to see Shiro shooing everyone away. Allura seemed to want to protest, but he gave her a stern look and she followed everyone else out.
Shiro nodded to me and I turned my attention back onto Keith.
"What did you do?" I don't know why I asked that because I was afraid of the answer, but I had to get Keith to talk. Keeping things like that inside was never good.
"You saw, actually." Tears gathered in my eyes as I realized what he was talking about.
"Oh," was all I could say. I gathered him into my arms and he immediately hugged me back.
"I didn't go through with it. I never back down, but with that… I just couldn't," Keith sobbed. I held him tighter. "I didn't want to die. I don't want to die."
It felt like deca-pheobs (years) when by as I held him, but in reality, was only a few ticks.
"I didn't mean to look through Pidge's diary," Keith sighed. "I didn't know that it was a diary. The blue box just called to me, that seems like a dumb excuse, but it's not. It really called me and-,"
"What does Pidge's diary have anything to do with this?" I brushed a tear off of Keith's face.
"She got angry at me for looking through her diary, but I wasn't. It fell after that blue box messed made me sick. I was trying to find the right page, but Pidge found me putting it back."
Lance's face became a mask of cold anger as he remembered the box falling from the ceiling before pidge did. Somehow there was a frequency of something that Pidge tweaked to harm only the Galra species. He remembered her telling Hunk about it a while ago.
"That box knocks out Galra, but since you're only half Galra, then it must have dulled the effects and made you sick instead."
Keith's eyebrows drew in as he felt a headache coming in.
"She did it on purpose?" Keith asked, but shook his head before Lance could say anything. "She might have been mad enough to dig through my mind in payback, but she wouldn't purposely hurt me. She…She doesn't hate me, right? Because I'm Galra?"
Lance took Keith's hands, shaking his head.
"No. She doesn't hate you. You're more human than anything."
They heard the swish of a door.
"I'm sorry Keith," Pidge said, looking down. "I didn't mean to hurt you. Both times I mean."
"I was looking over footage from the hangar from…," She trailed off, but Keith nodded in understanding. "I'm really sorry for not trusting. Galra kidnapped my dad and brother and I know that's not an excuse, but I just kept associating them with you. You aren't anything like them…except for your stupid, self-sacrificing ways and temper. I know that that's no excuse, but I really am sorry for everything. I don't expect you to understand, but I honestly didn't know that the Galra wipeout box, I'm working on another name, would affect you like that."
Keith adjusted his position from where he was sitting (which was practically in Lance's but guess who didn't mind). The corners of his mouth twitched upwards.
Lance's eyebrows shot up, as did Pidge's, but nothing more was said.
Over the next few Phoebs (months), Keith had nightmares, but Lance was never far away. Lance wanted to be there for Keith in every way possible.
"Keith, hey! Wake up. It's not real. It's not real, okay?" Lance said frantically, straddling Keith's waist. The first time he had tried to wake the Korean boy up, Keith had, in a nightmare-induce panic, flung them both onto the floor. Lance realized that this position was safest for both of them.
"Lance?" Keith said, finally waking up.
"Yeah. I'm here buddy. I'm here." Lance's breath quickened and his heart started pounding as Keith's hands settled on his thighs.
"I-you- I thought you-," Keith stuttered, starting to become frantic.
"Hey. I know. I'm right here. I'm here."
Keith calmed and his eyes filled with tears. He took a deep breath, cupped Lance's face, and kissed him.
There weren't fireworks or butterflies and it wasn't perfect, but it was Keith and Lance's. It was Keith and Lance's messy imperfect, first kiss, but they didn't have to be perfect. It just had to be them.