Why are sometimes we are strong, other times weak? Why do others make us feel as though we are mice, insignificant and feeble? Why must we curb our rage and impede our desires? Why must we pretend to be something we are not just to fit in? Answer: we don't ; we are just specks in a system outside of our control; we can grow old or die young, so we restrain ourselves when the powerful make us feel weak. We are The Heroes Of Evil and this is our tale.
Aritz, that's me, the boy that wanted to fit in, to be part of the rest, to blend in; Esteban, the broken soul, the boy that didn't care, he is the person that wears all black but won't tell you why because it's his business; and Sara, she's unique, she helps when she wants and doesn't mind she looks different because different doesn't have to be bad. We had first met at the beginning of the school year.
I was the last to enter the classroom. Because of this the only available seat left was behind a group of girls. I thought I had cast myself the role of the outcast because of my late entry and accommodation. I had tried to remedy my 'mistake' but ended up plunging deeper into the hole. I was angry; enrage at my own stupidity. I tried to forget about it though and decided to talk to a girl, Yolanda, that was sitting in the seat in front of me. She immediately made fun of my uncouth way of starting a conversation. It's hard to start a conversation when you don't know what to talk about, and when your as out of touch with reality as I was then. I know what I did was stupid but so was she. I may not be the most handsome guy ever but that is no reason for her to have been so rude. I ended up muttering, "Fuckin' bitch." When she had her back turned under my breath, but she heard anyway. It was idiotic but she made fun of my looks without knowing me. Her friends made the idea of dating me sound disgusting. Like I was diseased. They were so mean; laughing at me when I tried to defuse the situation and help higher my standing. I know what I did was stupid, but her reaction made me feel even worse. In a five... no...not even a one minute conversation, I was an outsider and I hated it. And myself. So, I tried one more thing to bring me back up not realizing I was going to make it worse.
I thought I knew that if you showed yourself as a tough guy, someone that knew how to laugh when punched, someone that was strong then maybe just maybe I could be part of the crowd. But I messed up, I got too cocky too fast and came off as a lunatic.
During lunch my eyes held a wrathful gaze that promised pain on those that wronged me; I was looking Yolanda from earlier. I was sitting on the back of a bench that was pushed up against a concrete wall. I was being creepy, scary and they ended up doing exactly what I wanted. Yolanda's boyfriend(?), Raúl, came over to talk to me when the bitch started getting visibly frightened. He tried to get my attention but I was still staring at her. Practically feeling his anger I started laughing. It was a kind of hysterical laughter, filled with madness. This was part of my plan to prove myself. So when he started to slap me I figured if I could keep up my act I'd win my standing. With each slap, I kept laughing. Back then I wasn't able to read a crowd; I hadn't realized that my plan wasn't working.
He stopped slapping me deciding that a knee to the gut was better when he understood I would continue to laugh at him. I crashed into the floor from the force of the hit knocking over a carton of milk on the ground. Esteban stood up and pushed away Raúl, shouting, "Cut it out, retard." The boy not understanding and angry asked, "Cut what out? Why are you gettin' involved, asshole?" Esteban can be really blunt sometimes and revealed, "You've spilled my milk, man!" "What milk have I spilled?" Raúl asked still yelling. Picking up the milk Esteban said still miffed, "This milk here..." Taking the milk from Esteban, Raúl asked, "This milk here? Be careful: your milk's all spilled..." He started to pour milk on my head shouting, "Milk! Milk! Your milk's all spilled." Esteban finally at the end of his rope attacked Raúl after he threw the milk on the floor after pouring the rest of it out onto my head. He pushed hard enough that Raúl was sent more than a few feet back. Although pushed he was still on his feet so he grabbed Esteban's collar shoved him to the wall. "You want some too?" "Yeah, I do. Go on, hit me! Hit me too! Hey! Look! He's gonna hit me! I'm not gonna touch you." I guess Raúl realized that if he hit Esteban he'd be seen as the bad guy because let go of Esteban's collar. "I don't know who's crazier... your pal, or you," Raúl disclosed. "Go on. Get lost. Go!" Esteban left without a second look at me; I was still on the ground, milk soaking my black hair and jacket. Raúl decided to humiliate me more by shaking my milk doused hair shouting, "Milk!" in my face.
Like I said my idea had completely backfired. I could give loads of excuses: it was my fault for attempting it or it was Esteban's for stepping in. Truth is it doesn't matter because I won't be doing it again. Tears started forming in my eyes but before I could go into full sobbing mode, Esteban's hand was in my face checking if I need help up. Needing something, anything, to direct my anger at, I directed it at Esteban. Standing up on my own I shouted, "What are you, a vigilante?" People were still looking at us. I had walked away not really wanting to listen to what he had said but ended up hearing it anyway. "Vigilante. No, but they spilled my milk! Didn't you see that?" "Yeah, they fuckin' spilled it over me!" I knew should've stopped there but I continued not caring people could still hear my words, "You shouldn't have gotten involved. You fucked everything up." Esteban obviously not understanding asked, "What did I fuck up? You getting the shit kicked out of you?" Trying to explain I said, " I was laughing at him. I don't mind pain. I was trying to see who could hold out the longest, but you got in the way, came out as the hero," people were still staring and listening but I continued on, "and now I'm the fuckin' outcast that-" Cutting me off he said, "Look, at least they stopped hitting you, you could thank me." All that I had cared about was my social status. When you grew up with virtually no friends you don't develop the social skills needed that make people naturally want to talk to you or even when to shut up and take a hint. I can say I am content with my role now but back then... all I could say was, "I'm gonna be the fuckin' outcast." Esteban tried to cheer me up or something by saying, "You're not gonna be an outcast cos you got hit once. That's just bad luck." Still with my one-track mind, "Today the reputations get handed out, and I'm fucked, alright?" Esteban caught to what I was saying but still asked, "What's that about reputations?" "It's the first day, right?," Esteban nodded, "Today's the day reputations are handed out, these are reputations. You don't arrive as the outcast, the bully, or the babe. All that lot, give you your reputation. There's always gonna be an outcast, right? And as we're missing a fat, spotty ginger, it's gonna be us. You and me. Have you seen any fat gingers?" During my little rant, or explanation, Esteban's eyes held mirth(?), light(?) I don't know but looking back it looked like he understood on a personal level why I needed not to be an outcast.
He answered my last question nodding towards a very boyish-looking girl with black hair, Sarita, saying, "Over there. Over there, there's a girl that might fit the bill." "She's not fat or ginger," I stated. "I know, but she's alone, and she looks like a dude. Check it." At that last part, he had started to point at her. Trying not to be rude I pushed his hand down and said in an exasperated voice, "Stop pointing! All we fucking need is for her to join us!" At this point, she obviously knew we were talking about her considering we weren't very discreet.
Finally having calmed down I said, "Listen, thanks for sticking up for me, even if you stuck at it. I'm Aritz." Holding out a hand Esteban introduced himself, "I'm Esteban." Just as I had taken it the bell rang. "So, then. Wanna go to class?"
If you find any errrors feel free to point them out. Favor, follow, review, or do nothing.
-Dark Angel says bye