SUMMARY: A little known fact: Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy had a rendezvous in year sixth. Now she has a choice to make. Her tears mixed into the drink as she thought of how much her life had changed since four weeks ago. She would never be the same. She drank the cup. Dramione. *Written as a reflection on the Roe vs. Wade reversal.* rated M for strong language and adult themes, trigger warnings.
Draco shoved her against the wall, not caring that the brunette mudblood screamed a little.
"Don't holler too loud, Granger, or you will wake my parents. I don't think they'd approve of their son dirtying his lineage with a mudblood such as yourself."
Hermione merely smirked and leaned in to kiss him.
She ended up biting his lip. Hard. He could taste blood on his lips.
"Bastard," she shot back.
The next moment his lips were back on hers: pecking, biting, licking and begging for her undivided attention as their blood and saliva mixed.
Oh, yes, Lucius would probably disown him for what he was doing.
He'd end up like Sirius Black, burnt off the bloody family tree for life. He wondered if it would be worth it.
Draco pressed the waist of his jeans against her hips.
"Take off your bloody shirt, Granger."
He couldn't wait any longer.
"And your pants," he added quickly.
He had to taste her. Those lips she had down below.
Every kiss of her real lips only pent up the tension even more of slipping something pale, large and hard as a rock into her-
Hermione met his eyes as she took off her shirt and undid her bra. Then reached down to slip off her pants.
Draco felt his mouth fall open.
He never had seen something so beautiful.
Hermione smirked as she turned the pureblood blonde into her personal worshipper, his hands never leaving her body, his grip on her hips never loosening.
She had driven him wild.
Suddenly she gasped and was taken aback as Draco let go inside of her.
With a shudder, he let go of her hips.
When he climbed off of her, she could feel his seed drip out of her and onto the bed.
It made her feel ashamed and she left wordlessly while he fell asleep.
Draco awoke in his bed alone and wondered if Hermione Granger had just used him.
He hadn't even known it was possible for a girl to use a guy like that.
What was her problem? Had this whole thing been a hate fuck?
Draco was angrier than ever when he scrubbed off the muggle makeup that hid the Dark Mark on his wrist.
3 weeks later...
Hermione knew her period was coming. It just had to be. She had been busy and stressed with her final exams but she could feel her period coming. This is how she normally felt at that time: bloated, angry, cramping.
This had to be her period.
But why was it three days late?
Hmm. Well, she would wait three days more before panicking.
She knew the spell that would tell her if there was anything to be worried about.
But that was impossible, she had taken a preventative potion...how could it backfire? She prepared it herself.
...Unless the asphodel blooms she used hadn't been fresh.
Hermione bit at the end of her quill, then shook her head, and finished the rest of her arithmancy review.
The final exam was only a few days away. She had to focus.
Draco stared disbelievingly as both his father, Severus Snape and then Voldemort told him what he needed to do: kill Dumbledore.
They said it so simply: kill Dumbledore. Right that was so easy and not wrong at all.
Draco felt the angriest at his father. This was his fault. Voldemort was punishing him for his father's failings. The sins of the father...passed onto the son.
"You can do it, can't you boy?" Snape urged him, coldly.
Draco wondered if he had been born in the worst family ever that they expected this of him and had his godfather in on it.
"I think so," he stuttered. But inside he was thinking, 'How could he possibly do such a thing?'
What had Dumbledore ever done to him? The headmaster had been a distant but familiar presence his whole time at Hogwarts.
The old man was senile at worst, but nothing Draco hated enough to kill.
Did they really think he was as ruthless killer who could do this in cold blood?
Snape asked him again. "Well boy can you?"
Draco hesitated but then he met his mother's eyes across the room and she nodded. He had to do this for her. She seemed to think it would be alright, crazy woman she was.
"Yes," Draco lied. Well, he wasn't really lying. He knew he had to do it if his whole family and himself weren't going to be killed.
Briefly, he remembered Hermione's face as she shook and moaned when he was inside her. It had been the best feeling of his life. Merlin, what he wouldn't give to be with her again. What he wouldn't give.
He had to focus.
Paradise could wait.
Hermione waited three more days. Her period still hadn't come
She hadn't heard from Draco. He didn't even seem to be at Hogwarts anymore. Her letters returned unanswered. There were rumours he was a Death Eater but she kept ignoring them. She had seen no such mark on his wrist as he held her and made the most exquisite sounds and movements as he drove into her again and again and again...
He wasn't a monster. He couldn't be.
She had seen a side of Draco that was totally human and soft and vulnerable.
Why had he turned away from her? Did he hate that she saw who he really was?
It had just been a moment but it had seemed to mean everything.
And now here was the cost.
Hermione waved her wand and did the spell over a glass of her urine.
The glass turned a dark, deep blue.
"No," she whispered. Merlin.
She lay on her bed many hours, waiting for the reply to her last owl to Draco.
She couldn't quite put into words what had happened. Not in a letter. She needed to say that in person.
She needed to find him, she was tired of waiting.
She ran towards the Astronomy Tower where she thought she heard Draco's voice.
Suddenly an arm, out of thin air, reached out towards her and stopped her in the tracks.
It was Harry.
"Come under the cloak," Harry said. "Quick. I know what Draco's been up to in the room of requirement."
"That can't be," Hermione shuddered but she followed numbly.
The next half hour in the Astronomy Tower was one of the worst of her life.
Her heart broke twice in that small space of time.
Once when she saw the Dark Mark on Draco's arm.
The second time when she saw Dumbledore die.
At Snape's wand, rather than Draco's doing. That was only the slightest of relief.
Draco's heart was racing a million miles an hour. He just couldn't do it, he thought, he couldn't.
His legs ran beneath him as the him and the rest of the Death Eaters ran off away from Hogwarts so they could apparate.
He had thought of how much Hermione would hate him and never forgive him if he even tried to hurt Dumbledore...so he didn't.
They all thought him useless now yet he had no way of going back or staying at Hogwarts or telling Hermione how much she meant to him.
There was no time.
Hermione cried for three more days and refused to leave her room before she finally surfaced again, at Ron's and Harry's urging.
"I'm fine. Leave me alone." She pushed away anyone that tried to help her.
They all thought she was mourning Dumbledore. She was.
If only that was just the only thing wrong.
She was also mourning something else.
And now she felt she had no choice of what she had to do.
It had only been five weeks.
Five weeks since she had been in paradise, wrapped in Draco's arms.
Five weeks before she learned everything was a lie, Draco was a Death Eater and he probably just used her, the same way he had wanted to use Hogwarts to kill
Dumbledore. Perhaps he was the monster everyone believed all along.
Except he didn't kill Dumbledore. That was the only thing that didn't fit.
Hermione closed her eyes, tears falling down again all over. The tears never seemed to end.
It made no sense and it felt like she was ripping her heart out of her chest but she decided to close the door on that night, like it never happened.
"It never happened," she told herself.
Then she started to collect the ingredients of the potion that would make it so it truly no evidence was left and it had never happened. Not in anywhere but her heart.
Draco lay on the floor panting, as one of the older Death Eaters interrogated him and then tortured him.
His family would be spared but he was under high suspicion now for not completing the task himself.
Thanks to Potter who had witnessed the event and apparently told everyone, everybody knew it was Snape who killed Dumbledore for him.
"Why didn't you kill Dumbledore?" the older wizard demanded of him and kicked at his ribs. "Did you not pledge your allegiance to Voldemort or are you a traitor?"
Was he a traitor?
He couldn't even answer that question himself.
He knew he just kept thinking of Hermione's face every night and every day and wished his every move wasn't being tracked so he could sneak off
and meet with her.
But that was schoolboy's wish. Time to face reality.
He screamed again as the Cruciatis curse ripped into him.
This was not his choice.
Hermione mixed the potion ingredients in the slowly bubbling cauldron and waited for it to cool off.
She poured herself a cup of it and stared down at it the longest time.
Briefly she wondered what the child she was carrying might've been alike. What it might've been in another life if Draco was still here and they could have stayed together.
But that was a schoolgirl's wish. Far from the reality.
She had to make a choice.
Or maybe she had no choice at all.
Her tears mixed into the drink as she thought of how much her life had changed since four weeks ago.
She would never be the same.
She drank the cup.
Five months later...
At night, she still dreamed of paradise.
During the day, she lay in a tent, with Harry and Ron, chasing Horcruxes.
At night, he still dreamed of paradise.
When the war was over, and he was deliberately doing everything to help their side lose, he dreamed of holding her again.
Of asking for her forgiveness for leaving her.
He felt he had no choice.
During the day, he wore a mask.
Underneath was a man who had lost everything to save his family.
During the day, she wore a mask and pretended to know everything.
Underneath was a woman who had lost everything and didn't know when she could ever be sure of trusting someone again.
She felt she had no choice.
Author's note: Please review if you liked it, subscribe/follow/fav all appreciated and would make my day. I wrote this as a reflection on the recent debates going on here about reversing Roe vs Wade. I'm neither for or against abortion, but I do think it's ultimately every woman's choice to make whether right or wrong or somewhere in between.