I don't own Sailor Moon. Naoko Takeuchi does.
I visit my mother and it is strange to see her this way. She used to be so full of life. The disease is taking more and more of her each year. I wish the Silver Crystal hadn't been destroyed. I wish I could have power for one more day. No, not even a day. Just long enough to heal my mother.
Then she will remember me.
Her eyes light up when she talks of father. For a brief time, my lively mother is back. She holds up her hand, showing off the ring on her finger. I smile as she talks about her wedding day. After a several minutes, she says "Miss, where did you get that hairstyle? I've never seen it before." She's asked so many times and my answer is always the same. It's as if we are rehearsing parts for a play. I say goodbye, promising to visit again and as always she says "It was nice to meet you."
I'm glad she remembers her wedding day. Truly, I am, but I wish she remembered mine. I wish… she remembered me.
I make my way to the park and sit on the bench next to Shingo. He looks at me and asks "How is Mom?" I did my best to smile "For the most part nothing has changed, but today is one of her good days. You should visit her." His voice cracked as he replied "I want to but… she doesn't remember me. When I leave, she'll forget I was ever there. It hurts too much." He looked away "It hurts to see her not remember becoming a grandmother. It hurts to hear my children ask why grandma doesn't remember them or why grandma doesn't live with grandpa anymore. The oldest understands, but the twins… they just turned 9. They're not going to remember her as the fun person we knew her as. I want them to know their real grandmother, not this shell the disease has left us with."
I understand what he's saying and I understand why father couldn't take care of her anymore. He said when she looked at him, she didn't see the man she married. Instead, she saw a stranger. She thought she was a 22 year old newlywed instead of the 70 year old grandmother and wife she is. The family pictures in the house had to be taken down because they confused her. Blinking back tears, I tell him "You should visit her. Today she was her old self. She thought she was a newlywed, but she had energy and was lively. Take your children and go see her. At least they will see a glimpse of who she really is." He tried to smile as he looked at me "I think I will."
Little did we know, that would be the last time she would be anything close to the woman she used to be.
6 months later
Now, she hardly talks, eats and rarely acknowledges anyone in the room. I hate seeing her this way. I don't want her to suffer anymore. Does that mean I want her to die? I don't want her to die, so does that mean I want her to suffer? I don't want either. I don't want her to die and I don't want her to suffer. Is she suffering? I don't know. She doesn't communicate anymore. Surely she must be suffering. I want her suffering to stop. Am I a horrible person? The only way she'll be free of the disease is if she died. There is no cure. Death will be a blessing for her. It's so wrong. It's a sick and twisted blessing. When she does go, she'll be free. She won't be a prisoner of this disease anymore. However, she'll be gone and I don't want that. Is that selfish of me?
The doorbell rings. It's Makoto and Motoki. I open the door and let them in. Makoto holds up the dish in her hands "I made a strawberry shortcake!" As we make our way to the kitchen, Luna comes from the hallway "Makoto! Motoki! Nice to see you! How are things with the flower shop?" Makoto smiles "Everything is going well. I can't believe it's been thirty years." Motoki nodded as he helped set the table "It's been quite some time since we've all spent time together." Makoto gasps "That's what we can do! We can have a senshi/shitennou reunion for Christmas! I know everyone probably already has plans since it's on such a short notice, but I'm sure we can work something out."
Motoki nodded "Excellent! I haven't seen Nephrite in 10 years." Luna smiled "I'll call everyone and find out what days are good for them." She went to get her phone that was on the side table in the living room. Motoki smirked "Have you talked to Artemis recently?" Luna paused, turned around and shrugged "We talk occasionally." Motoki leaned against the kitchen doorway "Are you sure it's just occasionally? I've heard he's taken on his human form..." Luna glared "Exactly what are you implying?" He smirked "Nothing." Makoto swatted him "If she wants to keep secrets then let her. She's a grown woman." Luna smirked back at Motoki until Makoto added "Soon, she'll be like us and be a year or two shy of 50." Luna glared as Motoki chuckled. Crossing her arms, she said "What are you chuckling for? Aren't you the same age as Mamoru? Isn't he… over 50?" Motoki pushed himself off the doorway, narrowing his eyes "Shut it". Makoto stifled a chuckle as he walked back into the kitchen, but laughed when he came back out of the kitchen "I'm fifty-one." He looked at Makoto "She's making it sound as if I'm an old man."
I smile at my friends banter as I get my cell phone out of my purse. I see it's my father and cheerfully answer. My smile fades as I hear him speak. "Usagi... your mother..." I shake my head, tears falling as he chokes out "...she's gone"