Hi guys
Wow, I've been blown away by your reviews, especially welcoming me back (I can only apologise for it having taken me soooo long!) so thank you! Glad you are all looking forward to the next chapter. Maybe you'll get a bit more history, but those who know me know I'll only give you snippets at a time and like I said, angst all the way…
o0o0o0o0o
Steph sat on the couch holding her daughter until her own eyes started to droop, knowing that if she didn't move soon she'd fall asleep where she was. Knowing what usually happened after she'd thought too long and hard about the events just over three years ago, she knew that if she didn't move while she still could, her daughter might finally find out what a mess she really was. Standing quickly she headed off towards her daughter's room.
Since leaving the refuge for battered women she'd stumbled into by chance in Wyoming and having them help her put together a new life, she'd coped pretty much on her own. With their guidance and support, she'd changed her name, got new papers, adopted a new back story and left her old life behind.
They'd provided counselling which helped and during the day she'd somehow manage to fake normality - whatever that was - and put on a brave face as she began to travel through life solo but the nights? Yeah, the nights were a different story and in the early days when she'd lived on site, if any of the counsellors and support staff heard her pathetic cries they didn't comment on them.
In the early days as she worked her way through morning sickness that lasted all day and gestational diabetes that took her away from her favourite food groups and left her ironically, with bark, twigs and herbal tea instead, she'd focused every ounce of positive energy she still possessed on keeping her baby healthy. Unfortunately, it meant that by the end of each and every day she was completely spent from making sure that no-one could see the clouds on the horizon that turned into the inevitable lightning storms at night once she let her guard down.
Although much less dramatic and far less frequent than they had been, her nightmares still left her shaky, sweating and usually in tears. Because Charlie had grown inside her womb, lived in a cot at her side and probably heard the same noises every night, they did not seem to disturb her. In fact a herd of elephants could stampede through her room and her daughter would remain none the wiser. Steph thanked her lucky stars that her daughter was not like her father and could sleep like the dead, oblivious to the shouting and cries of despair she knew spewed from her mouth when the nightmares were at their worst.
Kissing her daughter's dark, dark curls before running the backs of her fingers over her latte coloured, downy cheeks she smiled. "I love you so so much, beautiful child." She whispered as she placed her in her cot and backed out of Charlie's faded and jaded room. A room not fit for the princess that slept within its walls.
o0o0o0o0o
"You know one day your face is going to stick like that." Lester said, teasingly, as he looked at the blank face his cousin was giving him. "Actually, I think I'm too late…" he added pretending to contemplate his statement before winking with a smirk.
Ranger just rolled his eyes, mentally of course, as he gave his cousin a long look. A look that had shrivelled the balls of many men bigger and uglier than Les but as usual it had no effect sadly, as Lester just raised an eyebrow and widened his grin in reply. He turned to focus back on the house they were watching through the rain drops that littered the Cayenne's wind shield as he fought to get his emotions under control and replace the scowl he was currently wearing with his trademark blank face.
Minutes passed and Les began to fidget again. He was bored and a bored Santos was a dangerous and unpredictable beast. Things tended to blow up, clothes tended to disappear and cousins tended to be harassed…
"Stop... it!" Ranger admonished without any real force as he folded his arms - the first real movement he'd made in the last two hours. "Our replacements will be here in… 8 minutes." He added blandly after glancing at the clock on the dashboard.
He too was bored, but unlike Les and thanks to two years of counselling, a bored Ranger was a reflective thing and his reflections always led him back to…"Perp. 6 O'clock" he stated softly but with command in his voice as a figure crept out of the shadows and towards the huge, multi faceted monstrosity of a building that masqueraded as a house that they'd been watching for the last nearly three hours.
"10-4!" Les acknowledged happily like an over excited puppy. He'd had enough. He wanted to grab the guy a-sap and return him to Miami PD so that he could go wind down, preferably with his chosen piece-of-skirt de jour. The fact that he hadn't actually been anywhere yet to go find her was irrelevant. Five minutes of amped up Santos charm in the nearest night club and his future target would be eagerly dropping her panties and/or sucking his dick in no time flat. His cargo pants tightened as said part of his anatomy twitched in anticipation.
Ranger rolled his eyes for real this time as he silently left the warmth of the vehicle and moved like smoke towards his target.
"Hey! Wait for me." Les grumbled petulantly under his breath as he looked at his older cousin's disappearing back before he too noiselessly and stealthily exited the Porsche. Instead of going to the front door though, he headed for the rear of the property, hoping their target would come out the back way. He hoped the dumb fuck would try to evade capture because he really needed to punch something in payment for the numb ass he now had. "rain in December… in Miami?!" his last thoughts as they set about bringing their million dollar skip back into the system.
o0o0o0o0o
Another disturbed night filled with... intense images... crawled past and Steph finally rolled out of her saggy old bed at 6.30 and into the bathroom. Hopping into the shower as fast as she could so she could wash away the pain and sadness, she made sure that with every movement of her hands over her body she temporarily sealed the wounds that still threatened to topple her. She hoped one day she'd wake feeling refreshed and eager to begin her day, but instead of moving forward, each day seemed to be getting harder as her life went from bad to worse.
A year ago she'd made the foolhardy decision to move towards Texas, she wasn't sure why, but some thing was compelling her to go there. After many discussions with the refuge's outreach team and with their love, support and good wishes she'd left the few friends she'd made, put everything she owned in two suitcases, bundled Charlie into a greyhound bus and set off towards Dallas. She hoped that she wasn't wasting her meagre savings on a wild goose chase, but Texas was a good place to live and if things got any worse, at least there were pockets of humanity where she'd be able to find cheap rent and casual jobs.
Perfect for someone who never wanted to be found. Sometimes she wondered what would happen if she bumped into anyone from her old life again. Part of her hoped they would forgive her and part of her expected them to throw Chico in her face and tell her to go to hell. Neither outcome she deserved, she thought sadly.
After a very uneventful journey they arrived at the main bus terminal, disembarked and headed off towards the small hotel that had accepted her application for a job.
The owner, a single man in his fifties, welcomed them warmly and for the first couple of months things seemed to be going well. The job came with a tiny apartment in the attic but it was enough and the money she'd received each week paid the bills and give her enough left over to start saving again. There was a small day care centre nearby that seemed perfect and was reasonably priced and at last she thought she was moving forward.
Charlie seemed happy, the large, matronly cook in the hotel often gave her leftovers so she didn't need to spend so much on her groceries and for the first time in a long time she thought she might just make it after all.
That was until the day her boss tried to rape her.
Luckily her killer knee had been unleashed and she managed to subdue him and flee. Quickly stuffing her things into her two suitcases, she hauled ass over the to daycare centre where she picked up Charlie and they fled into the night.
The next job she got didn't pay as well and the one after that was a dud too but the job she currently held was... well it was ok.
Unfortunately though yesterday a young guy had tried to steal from the till and she'd caught him red handed. He'd blamed her and it was his word against hers. With no witnesses...
Thing was he was a nobody with a somebody father and she knew immediately that she was in trouble.
Yet despite everything that had happened she still felt blessed. So what if they lived in a dump? The apartment she'd had in Trenton was filled with death cooties, unwanted guests and the oldest most god-awful bathroom that had ever been installed so after that, anything else seemed, well, almost ok.
So what if the fact that she had no references nor employment history since her reinvention meant she could only manage to rent a tiny two bed apartment in a very rundown part of town at least it was clean. Well, ish - if you discounted the appalling state of the sealant round the bath and the paint choice. And it came furnished.
But the reason she'd felt blessed was that through it all, Charlie was a happy child, not too trusting of strangers thankfully, but seemingly oblivious to their ever changing downwardly spiralling situation. Adapting with ease as if everything was a Disney inspired movie.
Her daughter had complete faith in her and loved her fiercely and unconditionally and seemed to treat all their setbacks as one big adventure in which the impoverished heroine of the story who was down on her luck (Mommy) would scoop up the young Princess (Charlie) and they'd go live in the woods eating berries and befriending the woodland creatures as they waited for Prince Charming (Daddy) to finally arrive on his big black horse (white was too silly, obviously, Charlie had explained with an eye roll that had made Steph extremely proud) and save them from the nasty dragon and they would all go home and live happily ever after.
If only reality was like that, she often groused unhappily, her heart clenching painfully, longingly at the idea of Ranger in their life again. Also, perhaps she needed to change her daughter's viewing habits, she added wryly as an afterthought.
Returning to reality and ignoring the mould encrusted grout, sweaty walls she quickly washed herself under the pathetic spray as she mentally listed what she had to do today: laundry, placate the boss, stay strong, pay a couple of bills, drink some coffee, and drop her daughter at Mrs Bestler's equivalent's apartment down the hall, but not necessarily in that order. Stumbling out of the unappetising space, she shoved her head round the door of Charlie's room, towelling her hair quickly as she gazed at her sleeping daughter, so innocent and wonderous.
"Time to get up sleepyhead." She finally said with a smile as she tugged Bunbun out of her daughter's arms.
Bunbun was a hard to miss, big, fat, squishy and floppy pale cream rabbit with long legs and ears, button eyes and a lopsided smile that one of the Mom's in the refuge had made for her. Once he was removed from her arms Charlie tended to stir.
"Don't wanna." Came the sleepy reply.
"Well then, Bunbun is going to help me make breakfast, so…"
"I mup." Came the groggy response as Charlie fought to open her eyes and yawned loudly. "Uh Oh! I forgetted to do that one last night." She stated with a bright and goofy grin as she came to with the speed that only a nosey young child (or her father) could muster.
Steph's heart ached as her daughter's face morphed into that of Ranger when he used to light up her world with his 200 watt smiles. They are so alike, she mused sadly. "But he kicked you out!" a little voice in her head chastised waspishly as the devil on her shoulder crossed her arms and tapped her feet giving her a knowing look. "Dumped you like a sack of shit after Chico…" it added sourly.
Ignoring the direction her mental musings were going and shaking her head to clear the angst, she turned to her daughter "What do you and Bunbun want, sweetie? Toast or cereal?"
"Seerall pease." Charlie said as she clambered off her bed and dashed off to use her potty like a big girl.
o0o0o0o0o
Tank rolled his eyes and stifled a growl as talented fingers travelled down his torso and to join the mouth that was currently providing so much pleasure.
"Gonna cum, Lu!" he groaned out as his orgasm erupted. The feeling travelled outwards from his belly, through his balls and into every part of his body including his clenched fists and curled up toes as Lula finally allowed him to fall over the edge.
"Christ!" he finally managed to say as he looked up at a very smug Talullah Dupart. He was completely boneless right now and all he could do was smile widely and stare past her knowing grin at the smooth ceiling of their large master bedroom.
"Not Christ, just fiancée my big hunk of love!" She cooed before settling into his side from where she could stroke his chest.
As Tank's breathing returned to normal he smiled into his soon to be wife's currently ginger/blond hair, kissing her soft tight ringlet curls periodically as he toyed lazily with the simply set, large, flawless, blue white diamond encased in platinum that encircled her ring finger.
Two weeks. Two weeks from now they'd be on their honeymoon. Tank had booked a three week break that would take them to New Orleans for ten days then on to Cozumel in Mexico for the rest of their vacation. Neither could wait.
Tank because he wanted to show her where his family originally came from and the jazz music that filled his soul and Lula because she was fed up with Ranger's constantly shitty mood whenever he was in the building.
Tank was a different man from the one she'd first met and the last three years had been particularly hard on him as he struggled to bring Ranger back from the brink. It was if Steph had died, not just disappeared and they watched their friend go through the classic stages of bereavement: denial, anger, bargaining, depression but never acceptance and Tank had stoically borne the brunt of it all.
When Stephanie left it was as if a light had gone out at Rangeman as the men dealt with the gap she left behind. Lula didn't know the ins and outs of the split but guessed Tank knew more than he let on, but what she did know that it had been nasty and devastating and every man that worked in the building had their own take on the events. Some said Ranger had got what he deserved – that White Girl had been too good for him. Others said it had been inevitable, she was too stubborn and stupid and Ranger had been a fool to put up with her blatant disregard for her own safety, after what had happened with Chico. Others were just sad as they looked at her empty desk or the barely discernable slump of their boss' shoulders. What no-one could understand was why Jean-Ellen Burrows suddenly started showing up in the building and some even wondered if she was yet another third wheel while others wondered whether she was trying to help find Steph. Either way, the Trenton office was a mess and whatever the reason, Rangeman never quite recovered.
As a last ditch effort to bring him out of his stupor, Tank had suggested a move to Miami and Ranger had reluctantly agreed.
Then six months after she'd gone, out of the blue Ranger got a phone call and he'd just gotten angry.
Really angry.
He'd thrown the handset back at its cradle on his desk watching as it glanced off the metal stand and onto the floor where he'd proceeded to deliberately grind it to a mass of metal, plastic and wires under his boots. Then he'd marched purposefully into the gym and quietly and with deadly intent, he'd ordered everyone out.
The men in the gym need didn't need to be asked a second time and ran like rats deserting and sinking ship. Once the place was cleared he'd stood and screamed like a banshee before throwing things round as if the equipment weighed nothing.
It was as if a tornado had landed.
He smashed up the mirrored walls, destroyed the benching equipment, wrestled the punch bag off its bolts in the ceiling and threw the dumbbells in every direction. By the time he'd finished not one thing in the large room was untouched even the mats were thrown in all directions. Then he'd just upped and left leaving a shocked and stunned team to deal with the aftermath as he disappeared for nearly a week. On his return he locked himself up on 7 and drank himself into oblivion for another week. Then as suddenly as the storm happened it was over.
But Ranger was never the same again and the name Babe became a faint and forbidden echo in the breeze.
When Ranger was in the wind, which he seemed to be almost constantly these days, Rangeman Miami was a smoothly run, efficient and good place to work. Once he returned, his sour disposition pushed morale through the floor and into the basement. Trenton had breathed a sigh of relief when he'd relocated and Boston girded their loins and battened down the hatches to ride out Storm Carlos whenever he descended on them.
Nothing could bring him out of his dark thoughts. Not a hint of redemption when the core team took him to the mats for an attitude adjustment. Nor the weeks of therapy that they then forced him to attend and the months he'd continued of his own volition. They all knew it would take a miracle to bring back the man who'd seemingly dipped out of life three years ago following that night.
Running her hands down his torso, Lula sighed sadly. "Penny for them" Tank prompted as he grasped then gently squeezed her hand.
"Just can't wait to have you all to myself, is all." She said quietly. They both knew she'd been thinking about Little Girl moments before but… three weeks with no phone calls and her new husband all to herself. Heaven, Lula thought as she sighed happily.
Tank rolled them both so that he was on top and soundly kissed his woman. His woman. That sounded good! Who would have thought five years ago they'd be where they were now – he'd been lonely and closed off when Ranger admitted his feelings for Bomber. It had looked like they'd had a golden future, no cop to muddy the waters, Helen Plum had warmed to their relationship and everything was rosy. Now, ironically, he was the happy one, Little Girl was stripped from their lives and Ranger, well let's just say Ranger was a fucking mess and truth be told, Tank was surprised he'd never had a call from their handler saying he'd not made it to the end of a mission.
Tank and Lula met up again when he'd been back in Trenton one time and they realised they were good for and to each other. They both had insecurities and a less than stella relationship history and although they didn't take quite as long to admit their feelings (no one could take as long as Steph and Ranger, to be fair) they finally realised they were a good match and stayed in contact and began to talk, in spite of the distance.
Eventually they decided to take things further. They'd gone out, gotten drunk, gotten laid and never looked back. At least one good thing had come out of the shit fest.
It was just a shame the ripples never died down completely and Tank knew that Ranger would never recover from the FUBAR situation he'd created. He just hoped Little Girl had moved on and was in a better place than his BFF.
o0o0o0o0o
I'm currently listening to That Next Place by Thomas Newman as I finish double checking this chapter. It's the soundtrack from Meet Joe Black (my favourite movie, ever. Where Death gets his heartbroken. It's a bit slow but a fabulous story with Brad Pitt and Anthony Hopkins… what's not to like, hmm?!) and my heart is breaking at its sadness yet stony resolve bit like this story…
Sad music that has an underlying sense of purpose and hope fills me with joy, makes my heart soar and urges me to put finger to keyboard so it's a win, win.
Really!
R&R guys, you know you want to xxx