Following the 'lesson' from Chris they eventually made it back to the guild hall. Kazuma got his reward for killing the last three giant toads and had a nice lunch with Chris. She was so much fun to hang out with! As they ate and talked it occurred to Kazuma that this was the first time since middle school he'd done this with a girl. (Those times with Aqua did NOT count! She was never trying to be pleasant company but was always just doing party tricks, stuffing her face, and drinking 'til she was about to puke.) Chris was just amazing, not only was she cute and smart and just plain nice, she was someone who seemed to genuinely want to help him. After what had happened with Aqua it was an amazing feeling. Thanks to her he was ready for more adventures in this crazy world. She was so awesome that he didn't even mind that her breasts were tiny!

The only bad thing was that she didn't want to form a party with him. After they finished eating she got up to leave.

"You absolutely sure you don't want to party up?"

Smiling she shook her head. "Sorry, Kazuma. I've got too many responsibilities. But don't worry, you're going to do fine. After all, you've been blessed by Eris."

"Huh? What does that mean?"

She reached into her fat purse and pulled out a silver coin. On it was the image of a pretty girl winking. He was familiar with it, the same face was stamped on every coin. He hadn't given it any thought and just assumed she was a queen or pop singer or something.

"In this world Eris is worshipped as the goddess of luck. When people have unusually good luck they always say that the goddess has blessed them. With your luck stat I can guarantee that Eris likes you." She gave him a wink and slid the coin back into her purse.

He sighed. "Yeah, but I was told that luck isn't important for adventurers and that I should be a merchant instead."

"Most of the people who say that are ones who don't have good luck and have to depend on their other attributes. I'm not saying strength, intelligence, and all the rest aren't important. But having great luck is the best! Plenty of skills are luck based, like Steal and another one called Snipe. I don't doubt you'll be a great hero one day, Kazuma."

She then gave him a friendly wave and left.

Watching her go he sat there and gave a heartfelt sigh. If she had bigger boobs she would be the perfect girl.

XXX

With the 15,000 eris Kazuma would be fine for at least the next few days so he relaxed the rest of that afternoon and celebrated meeting Chris and becoming a genuine adventurer. The next day he came in and wrote out a party request and posted it to the board. He then sat near the board for the rest of the morning waiting. No one responded.

At a certain point the lovely Luna wandered over to him. "That's a very… interesting request you posted."

On the board was a rectangular piece of paper with messy handwriting.

Level four adventurer with amazing thief skills seeks party members.

All levels and job classes are welcome!

Let's form a great party and have amazing adventures together!

If interested please seek out Satou Kazuma.

NO GODDESSES NEED APPLY!

"Goddesses aren't really common," she said with a smirk. "I mean so far as I know we don't have a single one in the guild."

"As far as you know," he mumbled.

Luna gave him a sympathetic look. "Listen Kazuma, I heard about what happened. It's great that you were able to complete your first quest and I'm happy that you've gained some experience and new skills. But you're still new here. I've seen a LOT of new guild members come here with huge dreams. They expect to be great heroes, get rich and famous, some of them even think they'll be the one to stop the Devil King."

"You don't say."

She completely missed the tone that could have dried laundry. "They have a little bit of success and their expectations go through the roof. But eventually they either get killed or they have to face reality."

Why do I feel like I'm getting a lecture from my mom?

"I am not saying this to be mean, but Kazuma your expectations aren't realistic. People normally form parties with friends they're already close to and arrive here as a group. When people request new members they're usually at least level thirty, and a lot of times they'll be one of the advanced classes. Only the most desperate of souls would actually be willing to join someone who is level four and has the job of adventurer."

"Well what can I do?" Kazuma shrugged. "I'm not strong enough to adventure on my own yet."

"Have you really not considered becoming a merchant? With your luck you'd be a guaranteed success."

"No thanks, customer service jobs always suck."

"Well, in that case, what I would suggest is that you put up a different notice. I've seen your card and the skills you have now. They're in demand, especially by groups going into dungeons. If you offer your services you will definitely get someone to hire you, either as a full party member or one-time specialist. Your low level won't count against you. That's a much more realistic option."

"Thanks for the advice, Luna-san. I promise to give it a try if I don't land any party members."

"Well, do your best Kazuma." The big boobed blonde receptionist went back to her work.

Join an already formed party? One where everyone already knew each other and he'd be he new kid? Kazuma shook his head. When he wasn't online he wasn't any good with people. For some reason people said he was sarcastic and rude. And pretty girls usually complained he was creepy. The idea of joining a party and trying to fit in was more nerve racking than the thought of attending school.

Thinking that he watched as a couple people went up to the board and snatched a job off of it. They didn't so much as look at his notice. The money he had would last him the next few days. After that he'd be in the same spot he was in yesterday morning. He'd give it the rest of the day. If he couldn't land at least one party member he'd offer to join others.

XXX

He sat where he was for another half an hour when a little girl with a wooden staff, crazy hat, red and brown outfit, and an eyepatch wandered over to the board. He wasn't paying her any special attention. She suddenly swung around and gave her cape a dramatic flare. The girl began walking towards his table. Kazuma looked around to see if there was anyone else sitting close by.

"You!" The girl leveled her staff and pointed at him. "Are you Satou Kazuma?"

"Uh, yeah, that's me."

"Heh, heh, heh," the girl struck a dramatic pose. "That we should meet is a fate chosen by destiny itself! At last! My search for a suitable companion has ended! I am Megumin! I am an archwizard who wields Explosion the most glorious and powerful spell in all creation!"

He stared at her. "Huh?"

"Do you wish to join forces with a power so terrifying its wielder has been shunned? If so take heed! Stare with me into the depths of the abyss! But beware, the abyss shall stare back!"

He stared at her some more. "Are you screwing with me little girl?"

"What? No! No! I'm serious!"

"How old are you?"

"I am a full grown and mature woman of fourteen who-"

"Fourteen?! Pass! Taking you on adventures has got to be breaking some kind of child labor law or something."

"What? Fourteen is old enough to marry!"

"Ewwww! Gross! What kind of world is this?"

She gawked at him and then shook it off. "Does my fearsome aura intimidate you? If so I can understand your reluctance. As you have no doubt noticed from my visible eye, yes, I am a member of the famed Crimson Demon Clan!"

"Are they like a band or something?"

"Wh… What?! They are the most powerful and feared magic users in all the land! Everyone has heard of the crimson demons!"

"Well I've never heard of them and I don't want to work with little girls. It's dangerous out there."

"I am not a little girl! I am an archwizard and the greatest of the crimson demons whose power rivals that of the gods! My explosions can shatter the mount…" She fell over in mid rant.

He ran over to her side. "Hey are you okay?"

Her stomach literally growled. She turned an embarrassed face to him. "Ah, I haven't eaten in four days and I'm starving. Could you maybe spot me a meal? We could call it an advance on my first quest."

He felt sorry for her and told her she could order whatever she wanted. She tried to order a beer with her food, but he said it would be water. He wasn't going to serve a minor alcohol. As she was stuffing food into her mouth he asked to see her adventurer card. She willingly handed it over.

Kazuma was very surprised to discover she'd actually been telling the truth. Megumin was a level six archwizard. From what he'd heard that was one of the advanced classes. If she was level six then she must have gone on at least a couple of missions either on her own or with another party. Plus the fact the guild had allowed her to join at all probably meant it was true that in this world fourteen was considered to be adult age. (Repulsive as that thought was.) That meant they could form a party together.

It was a sign of Kazuma's desperation that he was even considering it. No one else has approached him. And if she really could work powerful magic then how much did her age really matter? Yes, relying on a fourteen year old was pathetic, but beggars couldn't be choosers and he needed help. He was pondering this as a deafening alarm sounded.

"Emergency quest! Emergency quest! We need all able bodied adventurers to assemble at the front gate!"

"What the hell?" All around him everyone was grabbing their gear and running towards the door.

"You… should… go… I'll… catch… up." Megumin said as she shoveled food into her mouth. Whatever this emergency was the girl wasn't getting up until her plate was empty.

He has no idea what was happening, but he was an adventurer. If there was some sort of emergency he would fight!

XXX

Outside the gate everyone tensed.

"This is going to get ugly."

"You ready for this?"

"Hah, I was born ready."

Here and there he could hear people whispering prayers. He heard Eris's name mentioned more than once.

"Here they come!" Someone shouted and pointed.

In the distance Kazuma saw a green cloud approaching. His sword was in his hand and he tightened his grip. "What are those, monsters?"

Next to him a young girl in a blue mage outfit turned to him. "No, not monsters. It's a cabbage migration."

He gawked at her. "What?"

"A cabbage migration," she said again. "You must be from some remote village to have never seen one before."

"Cabbages?" He said in disbelief.

"Attention!" Luna shouted through a megaphone. "The annual cabbage harvesting season has arrived! This year's harvest is the best yet and we're offering 10,000 eris per head! We have cages to store them in so catch as many as you can!"

Everyone gave a rousing shout and charged into the flying mass of greenery.

He watched the spreading chaos and sighed. "I want to go home."

Still. 10,000 eris was 10,000 eris. How could one lousy cabbage be worth twice what a giant toad is?! This world is nuts! But crazy or sane money was money. Along with the cages the guild was also providing huge straw baskets. Kazuma grabbed one.

"Vanish." He turned invisible and then used Steal or Backstab to take out plenty of unwary cabbages. It was ridiculously easy work. He again wondered how these things could be so valuable.

As he thought that there were shouts of panic as many people were bowled over and knocked down by the cabbages. They didn't have attacks per say, but they were flying at maybe 30 mph or so and would deliver a blow if they hit you. And there were a lot of them!

"Run to cover! I will protect you!"

From a distance he spotted a blonde knight with massive tits. Even from far away it was obvious she was hot as hell! She was standing there, holding her ground as cabbage after cabbage smashed into her. Her armor was being broken off and she stood there with nothing but a black body suit. But still she stood strong and allowed people behind her who had been knocked down a chance to get away. Those who were closer were shouting her praises.

Damn it! He thought If only I could have someone like that in my party! Not only did she not complain about being beaten to a pulp she somehow managed to keep a brave smile on her face!

Not long after he heard a familiar voice begin to chant.

"Forces of destruction heed my call! Lay waste to all before me and let them know eternal sorrow! Explooooooooosion!"

As Kazuma watched a massive fireball appeared right in the middle of the green swarm annihilating them and blowing a pit into the ground as well. He stared wide eyed. Now this was what he called magic! I don't care if she's ten! If this is what she can do I want her on my team! Plenty more cabbages had survived the blast and were still flying towards the city. He kept working taking as many out as he could.

XXX

Kazuma managed to fill three baskets by the time the swarm had passed. With the excitement over he looked for Megumin. He was startled to see her lying face down on the grass. He turned visible and ran up to her and gently sat her up.

"Hey, are you okay? Those cabbages must have flattened you. It may have even been revenge."

"Heh, about that," she gave him a weak smile. "My explosion uses up all my MP. When that happens I can't move for awhile."

He frowned at her. "So you're saying after you cast it you're completely helpless and a liability in a fight?" He could only imagine what would have happened if he'd had her accompany him to the toads yesterday instead of Chris.

"That's a mean way to put it."

"Am I wrong?"

"Well… technically…"

He sighed. "It's okay. From now on Explosion is off limits except for an emergency. Just use your less powerful magic and that'll be fine."

"I refuse," she said immediately. "Explosion is the only spell for me. I became an archwizard just to be able to cast it. No lesser magic interests me and I will not lower myself to use anything other than my beloved Explosion!"

He stared at her. "Seriously?"

"Seriously."

He stared at her some more. "You know you're an idiot, right?"

"What?"

"You can't use that spell in a dungeon or you'll kill everyone. Even in a fight on the surface unless you can use it as the last blow any surviving monsters will come after you and you'll be helpless. You'd be a total liability for the people working with you." Kazuma narrowed his eyes. "You got kicked out didn't you? That's why you're willing to team up with me." She gulped and turned her face away. Bingo.

"Listen, Kazuma, I'll make you a deal. Let me form a party with you and I won't even take a share of the rewards. All I ask for is food, a place to stay, and some basic necessities. For that miniscule price you can have the power of a Crimson Demon at your beck and call. What do you say?"

He immediately let go of his hand and she fell right back into the grass. "Nope. You're useless. Good luck though." He stood up and started heading back through the gate.

"Hold on a second! Ah, could you at least take me back to the guild hall? I'm not going to be able to move for awhile."

Kazuma paused. "Okay, but I'm charging you ten thousand eris."

"What! You'd take advantage of a helpless little girl?"

"No. But I would take advantage of an idiot who cast a spell she knew would leave her like this. I have to eat too, and I don't do things for free. You want me to carry you about two miles? The charge is ten thousand eris, take it or leave it."

"But I don't have any money!"

"You can pay me as soon as you get your reward for the cabbages you took out."

"Uh, about that, uhm…"

"Yes?" Kazuma narrowed his eyes. He already knew he wouldn't like whatever she was about to say.

"Well, Explosion always obliterate the target completely. So, that means…"

"That all the cabbages you blew up are ash and not worth anything."

"Heh, kind of."

"Have a nice day." He put his hands in his pockets and walked away.