In the capital city of Roman Austroasia, a junta rules with iron hands. They've still got their predecessors' heads mounted on plaques.
The junta consists of a Romanian, a Portuguesefellow, two Vietnamesefolk, two Khmers, a Greek, and an Argentinian. For the most part, sharing the responsibility of ruling a country has been easy. Roman DeJarro, the Argentinian, has made sure of that. He's from an ethnic melting pot, and therefore moves and converses among the diverse junta the easiest.
In his office, DeJarro keeps many firearms, from all over the planet, in glass cases. He wouldn't want anyone else to know, but he keeps ammo for all of them in safes.
A pampas cat sits on his desk. He brushes him. He sure sheds a lot. In another timeline, he should; it can get cold on the South American pampas.
From his desk, a black phone rings. The cat rolls his eyes in disgust.
DeJarro answers. On the other end, what sounds like a huge panther roars, and makes demanding noises. Sometimes, when he hisses, DeJarro has to keep the phone away from his ear. DeJarro stammers, insists that he'll get back to whoever's on the other end, and hangs up.
He starts to go back to brushing the pampas cat. Alas, the cat leaps off his desk, and leaves.
That cat knows how all the other characters in a Meow Mix commercial, except Frank, feels when Baxter the Cat crashes one of their vacations with one of his annoyingly predictable phone calls. Except Frank's family was just annoyed; this pampas cat is jealous.
"Please," he shouts after him. "Half my success depends on him! I can't just ignore all of his calls! You are still my favorite!"
"Roman?" Yialouris, a member of the junta, sneaks in on him. "What's going on? Is this another widower thing?"
DeJarro sighs. "No, Silvanos. It's a personal thing. What is it?"
"That monster-chaser is back. He wants the same thing as before."
DeJarro scoffs. "Hannibal...the Gatorella-Slayer. Tell him to try me again when Gatorella contracts a terminal plague. As usual, we are not here to do a hero's work for him...if he truly is a hero, he will never need us."
"You know he's just going to keep coming back. He always does."
"Yes. And we will keep rejecting him. We always do. We are the government; if the people do the same thing over and over, they will get the same result. If we do not remind them of that, their neighbors won't. And then their neighbors will call us when they don't stop being repetitive problems."
Yialouris sighs, and returns to his job. Soon there'll be another junta meeting; DeJarro's presence will be required.
Smiling, DeJarro pulls a bottle of red wine out from the bottom drawer of his desk. He undoes the cork, and pours himself a shallow glass.
He toasts to a high-quality painting of Dionysus on the wall, and sips. Dionysus, who wears many gold necklaces in the portrait, seems pleased with the Argentine general...as he was probably pleased with everything, in the imaginations of the ancient Greeks.