And the story continues... For my very patient in her impatience friend.
WARNING: parts written in a cursive are only for adults! ;)
New day at Specter Litt Wheeler Williams is as erratic as it's supposed to be. There are hearings to be done, motions to be filled and cases to be won, yet Katrina Bennett's not here. At least she's not there until it's really too late to excuse herself with traffic jams or a morning crisis. Good thing though, she doesn't have to explain her late arrival to any supervisor since she has became the youngest senior partner in the history of this firm and as long as she gets the job done, nobody would care if she's around or not.
She puts her bag on the window's shelf and exhales through mouth, still in the awe about last fourteen hour's events. With a special accent on events, as her body is still gleaming with remains of a joining they have shared over an hour ago. How did Brian talk her into doing that even when they've overslept (thanks to her not set alarm and his turned off phone) is a mystery to her… Okay, she hasn't been particularly resistant to his charm, but still – work always came first, didn't it?
Shiver goes down her spine and her cheeks redden when her thoughts go back to the moment.
"Oh fuck, it's already eight!" she curses, staring at (too bright to her liking) screen and says more to herself than to him, "why didn't the alarm go off?!" as she sits.
Brian rolls on his back from a spooning position he was before Katrina started making fuss and stretches. "You sure it was on?" Yawn escapes his lips and she tilts her head abruptly toward him hearing that stupid question.
"Of course it was, I always set it…" her voice fades as the realization settles in, "right before sleep… It's all your fault," she grumbles, but she's not mad at him.
Ready to start the damage control, she tries to get out of the bed, simultaneously leaving her nude state covered and not uncovering his, yet soon enough she figures out – it's not going to work out this way.
"Yeah, sorry I didn't remind you," he replies sarcastically, observing her doings. One could say he's extremally chilled for someone who's also late and he doesn't have a comfort of a high rank independency to save him, but one wouldn't know he has 'my child got sick' excuse up his sleeve. Not that he still has a child… Nope, not going there. No. Just no. "Hey, you have any meeting this morning?"
She displays him her bare back, scanning the floor for clothes she may use to shield herself with. "Not until quarter to noon, why are you asking?" She gazes at him from her spot.
His long arm sneaks around her waist then as he shifts closer to her. "Cause if we are already late for work anyway, we can at least make it worth it," he smiles with his characteristic smirk (forty percent of a grin, thirty of brows and twenty of a creased forehead).
"I'm never late. And I won't be more even for sex," she reprimands him, not giving up.
"Well, glad to be your first time then," he states just before he starts kissing her shoulder from behind and making his journey up her neck. Taken by surprise, Katrina's breath momentarily hitches up her throat by the contact.
"Brian," she warns him, spelling every letter very distinctly, but her movements halt.
"Come on, it's not like Louis is going to get mad, you're your own boss now," he tempts, locating his nibbles close to her ear and starting sucking on the lobe.
"You have work too…" she manages to let out, but even to her it sounds weak, especially when her head angles on its own accord to give him more space.
"Don't worry about me," he whispers while his hands busy themselves with roaming up and down her front. "And as far as I remember, you promised to show me something earlier…," he finishes his sentence with a bite.
Katrina moans and her body arches into his touch, yet her hands stay atop the duvet. Why has he be like that?!"I didn't know you're so cocky," she complains and it's a silly comment to make by someone who responds to his ministrations so gladly.
Brian ceases his efforts and waits till she tilts to look at him, then he sends her boyishly confident smile, his eyes sparkling and his hair so mussed, she has to stop herself from threading her fingers through them.
"You still don't know quite a few things about me," he bends to mark her lips with a featherlike kiss what throws her off a bit, because it's not what she expected given his evident purpose. "But I'm always glad to share." He repeats the motion. She parts her lips, leaning more into the kiss and when he pulls away, her palm gathers handful of his curls to prevent him from moving. And this way he has her exactly where he wanted.
His tongue sneaks out to meet hers and soon enough she forgets about her previous concerns as he pushes her onto her back and hovers over her body with his own.
"I don't think I've ever seen you late."
Katrina flinches with an inaudible gasp, a calendar – she held but wasn't actually studying – drops to the desk with a thud and she turns around startled.
"Gosh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Donna apologizes, but eyes the lawyer with a suspicion. "Is everything fine, Katrina?"
"Uhmm, yeah, everything's okay," she manages to say, straightening up to compose herself. She just hopes her cheeks aren't as red as hot they feel.
Donna steps into the office from her leaning in the doorframe position, trying to guess what caused such a visceral reaction in the other woman. Seeing Katrina so flushed is not an usual event and the reason behind it has to be similarly uncommon, what picks up redhead's curiosity. She sits in the chair in front of the desk with grace only she posses and smiles warmly, because step number one of gathering up the information without prying it is – make them believe your motives are as pure as your heart.
"So where have you been this bright morning, huh?"
Katrina swallows the nervousness that suddenly awoke in her system and tries to reciprocate the grin.
"I've been… busy. I needed to close some deal before I got to work."
Her hands map his biceps and shoulders, while their lips dance the oldest dance ever created and she finds herself gently shuddering under his touch. Yet this time her mind is slightly clearer than yesterday and she remembers how this whole tease has started. Since she gave him her word…
"Hmmm," he hums, sucking on her lower lip.
"Turn on your back," she commands, aware he's too tall for her to do it on her own.
"I promised you sticker and the lollipop. I want to deliver the second part of the deal," she grins mischievously and not a second passes when her sense of balance notices roll and change of position. She sits astride his hips.
"You in?" she asks rhetorically, feeling his eagerness beneath her.
"Oh, I didn't see it in your calendar," Donna mentions, gazing at her with an innocent interest.
"It's because I wasn't planning for this meeting to happen today… Though I've got special request and decided I can squeeze it in before my next meeting in…" she checks out her watch and corners of her mouth tug upward with a polite but can-you-go smile, "thirteen minutes."
"Right, about that," Donna feigns an amazement and snaps her fingers, "this is why I've been looking for you all morning. Tuckey was trying to reach you and say he won't make it to the meeting 'cause his flight was delayed and we rescheduled it for three o'clock today. You didn't have anything signed up, so I thought it would be good."
"Ekhm, yeah, it's… fine," Katrina mutters, drawing an arrow in her calendar to change the hour of the meeting and gazing back at her friend.
"In case… you have something else to do at this time?" redhead raises her brows to indicate that she guesses what kind of the meeting the blonde was having earlier.
The lawyer blushes more and shakes her head no, fully aware she has been seen through. Donna and her ways, ugh! At least she can be sure her secret meeting will stay a secret and if anyone will question her absence, the redhead will have her back.
COO of SLWW chuckles, rolling her eyes with a knowing smirk. It was a piece of cake for her skills but it's still nice to know she can use them in other ways than tricking firm's enemies or saving their asses, lately – hers and Harvey's. Thanks God it's over now and taken damage control worked out just fine. And Katrina deserves some quality business time like no other.
"I'll let you catch up on work then," Donna states, throwing Katrina last glance over her shoulder and leaving her alone with her thoughts.
Very vivid thoughts.
She might have rather long break, since the last time she's grated any of her lovers with this kind of treasure, but given the grunts her ministrations elicit from Brian's throat, she's doing just fine and truth be told, she's pleased with herself as well. Her hand tighten at the base of his member at the same time as she quicken her pace, moving both her palm and her mouth up and down his impressive length. A moment passes and she hears more guttural moan than previous ones.
"Woah, Katrina, you'd better… Aghr, darling… You'd better stop now," he drawls through his teeth, releasing blonde hair he had in his grip and tucking loose strands behind her ear. She looks up at him, her incredible lips still wrapped around his manhood and he has to bite a side of his cheek to stop himself from finishing here and there. "Please?"
Katrina moves away with loud plop. "Did you just begged me?" she quirks her eyebrow at him, her fingers still caressing his groin.
He helps her shift up his body and given a chance he captures her in a searing kiss, bringing her flush with him. She melts internally when he circles her waist so close, she can feel his heartbeat against her own. "You misheard me I guess," he breathes out between nibblings, directing his hand toward her folds.
She whimpers when his digits make a contact with her slickness and he dives deeper, rubbing little bundle of nerves that drives her crazy. He would never thought he is going to find her so ready after fellatio, yet here she is – definitely wet and like a siren singing to his desire. Although having his head clouded with need, he still manages to sneak a comment on that, because he wouldn't be himself otherwise.
"I know you have a sweet tooth but enjoying simple lollipop so much? You're full of surprises."
She half giggles, half groans, not entirely believing he said so.
"This is the worst thing I've ever heard. Ever. And I heard Louis talk about methods of planned parenthood."
"I've heard Louis talk about nipples, but let's not bring Louis into this, shall we?" he pleads, biting on her pulse point.
"Hey, you started that!" she counters, now rocking on his fingers and an overwhelming sensation starts to build deep in her navel.
"Yeah and I'm finishing it. Forget I said anything," his mouth wander down her collarbone to find mentioned earlier part of the breast.
This time buzzing takes her back to the reality and she fishes her phone from her purse. It's a message from him, saying he hopes she's doing better than him, because he cannot focus on anything. She snorts, choosing not to reply to the text, so she won't fall into the trap of a conversation. There is a time for pleasures and there is a time for work and she's spend enough on the first one already.
Around the two in the afternoon she is finally able to go the kitchen to fix herself a cup of coffee. With regained sense of a control over the ship called her cases, she gives herself fifteen minutes long break – just enough to make a drink and catch her breath before she will have to go through Tuckey's files once again before rescheduled meeting. No funny business there.
When she's about to add milk, she hears very familiar set of steps behind herself and smile stretches her lips on its own. She turns around to face her mentor.
"Hello Louis, how are you… today?" she asks somehow guessing his answer after miserable expression he wears. "What's wrong?"
Managing partner sighs, massaging the bridge of his nose. "I think unfortunately it's nothing you can help me with, Katrina" he states with gravity.
"Did something happened?" she presses, watching him taking prunie out of the fridge.
He makes exaggerated wave of hand. "I was just left on the battlefield by the only person who seemed to be having my back on this war," the man complains, mixing the content of the glass.
"Louis…?" her brows knit.
"Okay, if you must know, I've been trying to contact Brian whole morning and he doesn't take my calls. God knows I wouldn't bother him if the matter wouldn't be of the highest importance and we are running out of time!"
She clearly didn't expect to hear that and she's actually surprised Louis is still in touch with Brian after he left the firm. Some part of her tries to understand it's none of her business, but other part – bigger part – keeps nagging at her to get more information.
"You two talk?"
"Yeah, we have been mostly texting, ekhm you know, like father with father. He helps me figure out this whole thing and I've to admit," he nods to confirm his words, "guy's knows what he's doing, even though he's being an asshole today."
That's probably why they say curiosity is a first step to hell, she thinks, getting uneasy due to mentioning of Brian's parenthood.
"And… what's so important?"
"Sheila is nearing fourth month and we don't want to miss the boat with signing up for childbirth classes, by the way – you have no idea how stuffed those courses are – and Brian promised me that when the time will come, he will share the phone number with me to the place he and his wife were attending when she was pregnant."
He and his wife...
"He told me they teach everything from breathing through pushing to bathing and we should start soon, there's so much to learn! Brian says it's natural once the baby is in the world, but hello," the managing partner accents last word, "it's the most complicated organism in the world and I'm gonna nail it, so I need my preparation!"
Katrina gulps and double blinks listening to Louis's problem.
"Also women in second trimester are known to have higher libido and I'm not going to complain about it, but how can I be so sure I won't, you know, hurt the baby? He said when Julie was pregnant they had one of the crazies sex times, like they were back in college and the only difference was that she was bearing his child – I think is even more amazing to make love to the mother of your child – yet, all those shaking…" he presents the motion with his palm. "It really concerns me, you know?"
Three minutes ago she was having the best day since she got promoted and now she feels like someone has slapped her in the face, the realization she locked down yesterday coming to her at full force.
Brian may have been cheated on. He may have not been Austin's biological father.
But he is still legally married with a long history of love and partnership and the child still has his name.
She… she was not prepared.
"Oh, my God...! Fuck. Katrina, I'm sorry," the managing partner exclaims after short reflection caused by the drop of her face and how her eyes suddenly became distant. He's such an idiot to remind her of the only person he has ever seen her having romantic feelings for, the very person she couldn't have. "Hey, I didn't mean to make you sad, okay?" he steps closer to her and puts his palm on her shoulder.
Katrina doesn't answer, just follows his movement with her eyes. The mentor misinterprets her state as sadness instead of shock and clumsily gathers her in his arms, trying to repair the damage he thinks he's done. The blonde's forehead creases further and her breath gets bit shallow as cold guilt starts to heavy in her stomach.
"I know his leave has to be hard for you, believe me, I know the most… But he didn't have much choice, Katrina, I'm sorry to say that. He's done it for his family. I'm sure under all that hurt you understand it too. Sometimes one just have to make hard choices and remember the family comes first, before wishes and desires," Litt gently pats her on the back.
… family comes first, before wishes and desires…
She has slept with a married man.
She moaned to him to make her his.
She's literally a homewrecker.
The younger lawyer pulls away abruptly, crippled inside by her own actions. "I'm fine. I'm fine," she assures way to quickly for Louis to believe her. "I'm going back to work," she adds, not looking straight at him and turns around on her heel a second after, making her way out of kitchen, her coffee long forgotten.
"Yeah," she whispers back, but the sound is too quiet for him to hear it.
"Brian…" she moans, getting restless on his fingers as her need grows more urgent. Her palm wraps around the hard shaft and she pumps him to make him hurry.
Without unnecessary words, he reaches blindly to the nightstand with his long arm and grabs the box of condoms. He passes her square foil with a raise of brows, throwing a challenge. Katrina snorts with a definitely-not-shy grin plastered to her face and rips the package open with one bite, next rolls it down his length.
Brian pushes himself into full sitting position now, with his back resting against pillows and helps her settle above his manhood, what she does impatiently. Well aware how amazing it's going to feel, she sinks on him without the hesitation, causing them both to moan. Her eyes roll under closed eyelids as her lady muscles accommodate him and he needs a second to gather himself as well.
After the initial wave, he interlaces their hands, creating natural lever and she's grateful of his thoughtfulness, using their combined strength to rise and fall on him. She senses him watching her and her gaze meets his. The gleam she sees is there makes her heart ache with emotions she cannot describe, not when her whole self is shaking. He smiles at her and brings her closer. Close enough for their lips to touch, but not enough for them to kiss and it drives her wild. Her movements grow faster as she tries to catch his mouth, but he withdraws each time she thinks she got him.
Groan leaves her despite her greater efforts to not give him this kind of satisfaction and she notices his triumphant grin just before he captures her lips in a bruising kiss. This time she moans, the noise muffled, but it boils his blood anyway.
"Jesus, tell me you're close," he pants, thrusting into her as much as he can in that position.
"Mhmm," she cries, her tone pitched and her consciousness descending into nirvana.
"Come on," he allures, switching his sight from her swollen lips to deliciously bouncing breasts. The end is near and he knows it. "Come for me, darling."
All that years she thought it's the silliest what one can say in an intimate situation, though now she arches her back and rides him with maximum vigor, thoroughly turned on by his words. If she would have it in herself, she may ask what have gotten into her, but for fuck's sake, who cares?
Katrina bites down the cry, suddenly really short on breath and untangles her fingers from his, the need to have them wrapped around his shoulders primal and consuming. His palms instantly settle on her hips, then lower themselves to caress the curves of her rear, helping her up and down. Soon enough her digits grasp the hair on the back of his head, signaling she is almost there.
"Yeah, just like this," he grunts low, looking at her with hooded eyes. "Come on, darling, I'll catch you."
And he does.
Panic. She hasn't felt this kind of panic since she was twenty years old in a summer job requiring from her lot more than she had to give. She was living in a constant fear she messed something big time, disproportionately huge sacrifice for someone who just wanted to earn some money. She knew she was too caring, too perfectionistic in what she was doing, never letting herself make a mistake. For what? She just made one and she screwed up even bigger than she could back then. Probably the biggest in her life.
Katrina swallows, her eyes trained on her shoes and her nails piercing the skin of her knees. The nauseating sensation churning in her stomach is powerful enough to make her question her ability to hold herself together, especially the tea she had earlier. She feels a bitter taste in her mouth and is sure that's the flavor of disgust and resentfulness when it's directed to oneself. Drumming of her own heart in her ears isn't helping either.
It's one thing to fuck up a case, entirely different to fuck up someone else's life.
No, not just one life. Three lives.
There is also coldness. Guilt cold as ice cripples down her system, she's freezing and her legs are weak, this is why she sits in a bathroom stall. And sits and sits and wallows in the self depreciating mixture she made herself for a time period she cannot clearly decipher. The reflections of their encounters keep flooding her mind mercilessly – Brian's large palms caressing her body, how his lips tasted, the strength of his body bringing them into the extasy… Why did she let it happen?
Why the hell didn't she stop them? She should have, she tried to, why didn't she try harder? Why was she so ignorant?! He wasn't in his right mind, she should have persuade him against it or just kick him out of her apartment if she couldn't keep her hands to herself.
Tears prick in her eyes and she tries to squeeze them out. She failed to preserve her grand rules of rightfulness, she failed to find a justification for her actions and she failed to control her crying. She's a failure.
No, no, I'm not.
She weakly fights the voice in her head, but she cannot argue it wholeheartedly. Because there is no excuse for what she has done and part of her is aware she deserves all of the emotions she currently experiences. Part of her even needs them, needs to punish herself in some way as compensating for her wrongdoings is impossible. The strategists she has always been may say there's a solution: making sure Julie never finds out, forget and never talk to Brian ever again. Leave the past where it is and never look back.
Yet debris of her dignity would never allow her to do it and she knows it.
Because what they've done is going to mess up everything not only between two of them but also between Brian and the woman he swore loyalty and the child he would die for. Despite being single for the better part of her life, she's always been person saying that issues of a marriage should try to be resolved first within the marriage. If there's any saying about fixing what was broken in their marriage, what she has let to happen is not going to help them. Maybe it'll be the reason there will be nothing to rebuild altogether and the baby boy out there will lose a chance to have a dad and a whole family.
Well done, bitch.
Katrina takes trembling breath and shudders. Calling herself all those names and falling apart morally won't get her anywhere, no matter how much she hopes it would. Sooner or later she will have to face the music and she would better know how to dance to it. She's thoroughly exhausted, but she must gather enough strength to learn the steps, cost be damned. There has to be something she can do to minimalize the damage she has done. Honestly, her heart never felt heavier.
Quick glance at her watch tells her she didn't only fucked the married man, she managed also to screwed the meeting that hasn't even begun yet by not preparing to it at all. She wipes the tears with the back of her hand. Great, now she's not only a terrible woman, she's a terrible lawyer as well.
Standing up on the trembling legs, she finally makes it out of the bathroom stall. Every muscle she has feels stiff, yet she can sweat her insides are made of Jell-O. When she straighten her palm in front of herself, the whole hand shakes and she lets out a painful sigh. The exhale turns into inhale as Katrina walks to the big bathroom mirror and what she sees in front of her…
Messed hair, red contours around eyes, dark shadows right beneath them, hue covering cheeks and lips swollen from biting on it. Snort escapes her after the examination of her appearance, all because it's hard not to express what a shitty look she has. Her own creation to be completely honest. She takes a tissue in the hand and carefully dries skin underneath her bottom eyelashes, rinsing the remains of her mascara. It turns out to be rather complicated task and she's thankful for the empty bathroom, as she has a moment to get back to the bearable state of being.
Fighting with the strains, she tilts head in the process and dark, purple bruise escapes from the cotton prison of her turtleneck, flashing it's hickey face into the mirror. She squeezes her eyes shut for a second, tightness in her chest not leaving. Will it ever? How is she supposed to live through her life now, knowing she made such terrible mistake? She hates cheaters. She disrespects the mistresses for consciously playing with other people relationship's stability. She has just become one.