"You won't even let me call you Susan anymore!"

"I don't want to BE Susan anymore!"

"Well that's too bad. She was my friend. I don't even know who you are anymore."

After she'd had a meltdown about the whole vampires-kidnapping-girls-centuries-old-conspiracy weirdness that has been going on at Silas, Perry had lashed out at LaFontaine before storming out, probably to go angrily clean something.

They had been content with reminding Perry about their name, convincing themselves that she just needed time to adjust- but after metaphorically ending their friendship and storming out of Laura's room after calling her Susan for the last time, LaFontaine didn't know what to feel. They couldn't blame her for never using gender-neutral pronouns because they had never asked - they'd only gotten around to asking her to call them LaFontaine- which was clearly something that she felt was completely unnecessary as far as they were concerned.

LaFontaine blinked back the tears that began pricking at their eyes, unable to move from Carmilla's bed in the dorm that she and Laura shared. They stared at the wall, feeling Laura's eyes on them as they tried to push all the feelings they were feeling as deep down as possible. After a brief conversation ending with a movie night being scheduled for that night, LaFontaine headed to the Life Sciences building to collect themselves before their sleepover in Laura's dorm.

When they got to the Biology wing, LaFontaine made a beeline for the women's room. Locking themselves in a stall, the sat down on the toilet and dropped their head into their hands; finally letting all of their feelings out. They didn't want to admit it, but they cared more than anything about Perry; and it hurt so much to know that she didn't want them in her life. They just wished Perry could accept them for who they were.

They sat there like some kind of loser, crying in the bathroom until they decided they needed to stop feeling sorry for themselves and start doing something to get their mind off Perry.

Unfortunately, LaFontaine had never been one to handle emotion very well.

LaFontaine sat on the floor of Laura and Carmilla's dorm, a half-empty water bottle filled with lemonade and tequila sitting on the floor beside them. They closed their eyes, feeling the full effects of their inebriation as the room began to tilt and shift under them.

They didn't hear the door open.


Laura found the incapacitated and unresponsive biology major slumped against Carmilla's bed, and her immediate response (thanks to her past co-habitation with Betty) was to put them to bed and make sure they weren't in danger of choking on their own vomit in their sleep. That was her instincts talking- but nothing had prepared her to find the most put-together and unemotional member of their ragtag band of vampire hunters passed out drunk on a dorm room floor. Had they been conscious, Laura was sure that Laf would have argued that this whole escapade itself was purely "for science;" but Laura knew otherwise.

"Laf, hey. Come on, let's get you something to drink that isn't… whatever you were drinking."

She had readied herself to have to drag LaFontaine to their feet- but after a few shakes they stumbled to their feet with little assistance, clearly drunk but still coherent enough to try and pull themselves together.

"I-m'fine Frosh, don't worry about me."

"Well, I wouldn't be worried; except you're the one who decided to get roaring drunk in my dorm!"

Laf paused a moment, trying to will their brain into forming a coherent argument for their reckless behavior. Sober, they could talk themselves out of nearly anything- but the alcohol severely inhibited their brain power. All they could think of was Perry and their argument, about how they couldn't go back to their dorm without feeling like they'd been hit in the chest with a bag of rocks, about how they felt like they didn't belong anywhere.


"No, you're not!"

Laf couldn't bring themselves to look Laura in the eye- they didn't want to admit to her how messed up they felt, but at the same time they had no one else to go to. They half-tripped, half-sank into the mattress of Laura's bed, staring down at the floor.

"Perry hates me."

At the very thought of Lola Perry, LaFontaine clenched their jaw- feeling tears begin to prick at their eyes.

"Oh, Laf," Laura sat down beside them, reaching her arms around their shoulders in a comforting embrace.

"She doesn't hate you. She couldn't hate you… You're just… going through a rough patch, that's all."

"She hates me because I'm genderqueer," they mumbled, fidgeting with the hem of their Silas university sweatshirt.

"She thinks I'm a freak."

Laura's heart broke for them, and she couldn't help but feel a little bit of animosity towards Perry for reducing LaFontaine to a drunken mess; all because of her inability to accept their newfound identity.

"You're not a freak. Okay? Laf, you're so smart and cool, and so brave for wanting to be who you are; no matter what Perry or anyone else thinks."

LaFontaine sniffled, rubbing at their eyes with a sleeve of their sweatshirt sleeve as Laura enveloped them in a hug. The two of them sat like that for a while, LaFontaine crying silently into Laura's shoulder as she tried to hug the sadness out of them.

Finally, when their head had stopped spinning quite so much and they were sure they had spent enough time with their face buried in Laura's cardigan, LaFontaine pulled away.

"Thanks a million, Frosh," they laughed dryly.

"Think I'll be staying away from the alcoholic beverages for a while."

"You sure you'll be okay?"

"…Yeah," LaFontaine got to their feet, shakily, and ran a hand through their hair. Their eyes were a little redder than usual, and the tear tracks down their face were fairly evident- but they flashed her a half-smile; almost as if they were trying to convince themselves that they would indeed be alright.

"I-I'll be okay…eventually."