Harry stared blankly out the window of the airplane. The seatbelt sign was on and Harry had put his book away. As usual Harry had underestimated how long it would take to land the plane and disembark. They weren't even on the ground yet and he was antsy. Well he couldn't honestly say it was from the lack of the book, he'd been antsy the whole trip from London to New York. He only saw his second godson twice a year, and now he was changing that.
He'd told himself over the years that it was necessary. No matter how much he loved America, and New York specifically, Britain had needed him. It still hurt both of them, no matter how true they knew it to be. His mind drifted back to those eight years he'd happily lived in New York. The Parkers had been surprisingly friendly for New Yorkers and FBI agents to boot and had welcomed him into their apartment building with open arms. For too long he'd suspected that they were keeping track of him as the Boy-Who-Lived. This had been reinforced when he'd met up with them in the Magical District of Queens, they were both squibs. It'd never been confirmed or not but he had stopped caring as they had gone from acquaintances to genuine friends.
Despite them possibly spying on him, it was the least intense friendship of his life, even to this day. They'd had no harrowing life threatening moments together. They'd never worked out a mysterious plot to save the day. Instead it was an easy and relaxing friendship that had never had that intense undercurrent the rest of his friendships had. And yet there was still the respect of people who understood the pains of the cruel world. Without meaning to he'd grown to love Richard and Mary. There was nothing he missed more in the world than sitting on the terrace with them, drinking beers and making light of the terrible things they'd dealt with.
He thought of them as his brother and sister and so he'd been just as overjoyed as they were when Mary had gotten pregnant. On June 1st they'd welcomed Peter Parker into the world and Harry had been honored to become his godfather. Only two years later Peter's parents, Harry's best friends, had died. Harry and May and Ben had taken up raising him jointly. Just six years later he'd been basically ordered to return to Britain.
He wouldn't lie to himself and say he hadn't been putting it off. He loved his easy-going life and had been in no hurry to get away from it. Volunteering at local shelters and figuring out a way to spend his fortune in ways that would help people, all the while learning what it meant to have a family. He'd seen it coming for months, years really. The moment mutants were officially revealed to the world he'd been apprehensive of how the magical world would handle it. Eventually America had announced the magical worlds existence, at least within their own borders and much of the world had followed suit. They had taken a mostly hands-off approach. Magicals had different concerns and thus had their own subset of government that mundanes, the new term, couldn't hope to understand.
It wasn't perfect and there was definitely discontent but compared to Britain it was idyllic. In typical British Magical fashion, the magicals had refused to cooperate with the mundane governments attempts to bring them out into the open. Muggle baiting, and outright murdering were at all time highs and Britain had been begging for Harry to come sort out this problem for them as well.
He'd resisted and resisted and resisted until five unknown magicals had murdered several high-ranking muggle government officials in an attempt to get them to stop pushing. Predictably it had shattered what thin veneer of civility had been in place and America had finally stepped in. By sending him home.
So, for the past thirteen years Harry had only gotten to see Peter at most three times a year, though it was really closer to once a year. He'd stayed as long as he could but he eventually had to leave once more. It killed him how little he got to see the boy, but there was of course no way he was going to bring Peter to the madhouse that had been Britain.
For Peter's part; he was a squib like his parents and so had only had the faintest understanding of his godfather's part in the magical world until Britain had finally released an abridged version of their magical history only four years ago. Even still the boy had always been unfailingly understanding of his godfather's life and inability to visit. Which of course just broke Harry's heart more.
With Britain finally stabilized Harry was excited to finally get some quality time with his godson. And then, only weeks before he was set to return to America the blip had happened. He'd called May only minutes after people had disappeared, scared out of his mind. He'd watched Ron dematerialize in front of his eyes. They'd been at the Ministry and so many people had just disappeared. He'd checked on Teddy first and been pleased the boy was still fine. But no one had answered his calls when he'd called to check on May.
He'd traveled to America to check on them and been horrified to find no evidence of either his godson or his family, or even his friends. He'd left the moment he'd confirmed it. It was too painful. Without Peter and May there, America felt empty. And then everyone had just reappeared. And still Harry couldn't leave to go see his godson. There were so many things to do to help resettle in the half of the population that had appeared. It had taken him four months to be able to get back to America. He really should have stayed longer but he didn't care anymore.
Two-hour long phone calls a week just really didn't do it for him, not after so long of thinking the boy dead. Still Harry held himself still while the plane disembarked, knowing it was more trouble than it was worth to fight with the crowd to speed out. Thus, he was one of the last off the plane. Then came customs which were just tedious, especially for magicals. He tried to be understanding and not snap as he answered question after question. The American muggles were naturally suspicious of British magicals and he was made to wait three hours, in case he was polyjuiced. Finally, after walking through a modified thief's downfall he was finally released, alongside his belongings. He couldn't help but huff to himself about just doing that first as he stomped through the airport, keeping an eye out for his younger godson.
When he finally caught sight of the boy (who really shouldn't be that tall!) he couldn't help the smile that broke through all of his anger. He happily caught Peter as he launched himself at him. When they finally broke apart he shook his head, the child was already as tall as him. Give it a few months and he would be taller than him, "Merlin, I'm going to strap a brick to your head Peter." Peter laughed, "That's nothing May says she's going to strap five pounds of bricks to my head! I think she's mad that I'm taller than her."
Harry laughed, "That'll do it. Now how's lunch sound?" It was his dinner, but New York was five hours behind London so it was lunch time. Peter happily accepted and began babbling about an Italian restaurant near his house. They began to walk towards the exit when Harry noticed they were headed the wrong way, "I thought May couldn't come with you?" Peter blinked and stopped his stream of conscious babbling, "She couldn't, why?" "The apparation point is to the left back there," he pointed out dryly to his godson.
Suddenly the boy looked sheepish as he mussed up his hair, "Oh right, I forgot you're magical. I kind of arranged a ride for us." Harry shrugged without concern, "Well we can just cancel the cab, it's the airport they can pick up a ride easily enough." Peter shook his head, "Actually it's my friend Happy." Harry blinked, "Ah, well lead the way then. And explain who this Happy is."
They continued walking while Harry studied his godson. The boy was looking even more sheepish and secretive, "He worked for Mr. Stark, I just got done for the day there and he agreed to give me a ride here and us a ride home." It made sense and Harry would have easily accepted it, if it weren't for his godson's attitude. He was definitely hiding something, and poorly. Still they had reached the aforementioned Happy and so Harry was forced to let it go, for now.
The man lived up to his name and seemed very happy for a person driving a teenaged coworker around. The three chatted about Peter's internship for the drive but Harry could see the tension of two people keeping a secret together. He suspected Happy would have been better at keeping the secret hidden if it weren't for the way Peter kept shooting him worried glances. Still, Harry kept his peace until they arrived at the Italian restaurant.
Except his plan to interrogate his godson at the restaurant was waylaid by the fact that they were just getting take out. And then his plan to discuss it over lunch was completely put to the side by the fact that Peter was actually excellent at distracting him. He didn't forget of course, but he genuinely wanted to know about his godson's life and it seemed Peter knew that and was using it against him.
So, Harry waited until May came home and the three were catching up to spring the trap. He took a sip of the excellent Lemonade he'd been provided and asked, "So May, what's Peter hiding and what's it got to do with that Happy guy?" He was acting supremely comfortable as he asked it, something he'd perfected over the years after dealing with politicians, and so it was supremely satisfying to see Peter choke on own drink and look guilty. He smiled at the narrow-eyed look that May sent Peter, "I thought you told him." Peter looked down, and then out the window, and really anywhere that wasn't the two upset adults.
"I- I tried… but things- and he's so worried- and busy. And really what does it matter- I mean-" Harry was pleased when he didn't have to respond as May cut in, "Tell him." They were two simple words but Harry was impressed at how Peter wilted and looked nervously at him. It reminded him of Andromeda, May was more relaxed and easy going, but she appeared to have just as much control over her nephew as Andromeda had over her grandson. And all thoughts of Andromeda and comparing her to May flew from his head when Peter spoke.
He still wasn't looking at Harry as he quietly spoke, "I'm Spiderman." Instantly every headline Harry had read about Spiderman flew through his head and he stood. He fought back the anger that was welling in him, using the breathing techniques he'd learnt to deal with politicians. But this wasn't a politician. A crime fighter. A vigilante. Fighting with gods. The blip. Oh god the blip. Had his godson been involved in the fight? He'd thought he'd lost Peter and now the boy was out there fighting crime. He wanted to slam his head against a wall. He wanted to tie Peter up and never let him out of his sight. So many things and more.
When his mind calmed enough for him to speak he finally turned away from the fearful boy and back to May. "Let's go for a walk." Peter stood at the same time May did, "Really Uncle Harry, it's not that bad. And it's not Aunt May's fault, it's me-" Harry cut him off, "Peter sit down and wait here. If you follow us or if you're not here when we get back I will hunt you down myself."
The walk downstairs and onto the street was quiet, and they didn't start speaking until Harry waved his wand and put up a privacy barrier. If the boy fought crime he surely knew how to go undetected so precautions were necessary. May started the moment the dome of magic faded from sight. "It happened about three- well I guess it was eleven years ago, god that's so strange. Anyways his class had a trip to some museum or another and he was bit by a spider. I don't know if it was magical, or mutant, or something else but one day he was a normal thirteen-year-old and the next he was insanely strong, could heal in the blink of an eye and had some weird Peter sense or something."
At Harry's questioning look she shrugged but smiled, "He can sense when things are coming his way and are a danger. He's also got good hearing but this is more than that, he can dodge bullets Harry. I call it his Peter tingles." Harry chuckled at the image conjured in his head of an outraged Peter. "Anyways you know that he's always been a bit of an inventor, but after that his inventions became decidedly more spider focused. Still I didn't make the connection until I literally walked into him wearing some high-tech super spider suit a few years later. I've known for about a year and a half."
Harry forced himself to relax and he rubbed his jaw. He'd thought he had stopped gritting his teeth. "He's a member of the Avengers. One of the last. He's a soldier. Children do not belong in combat." May sighed, "I get why you think that, and I do to an extent. But Peter won't stop, he feels the need to help people. He's got a saving people thing. I wonder who he gets it from." She shot him a smirk but he wasn't smiling, "That's not an excuse."
She turned serious again, "He managed to hid it from me for over a year, and I can't adjust my work schedule without being unable to afford to live. So, we have rules, and he follows them. Homework comes first. At least seven hours of sleep, and he can't miss school. And he can't go outside of New York without telling me. And follow any rules Tony put in place." "Tony Stark," he confirmed and she nodded. "He's a good kid who just wants to help." "Stark's dead," Harry pointed out, perhaps unnecessarily. "Yeah, it really devastated him. But the man had some solid rules in place and he still follows them to the letter."
They walked quietly for a time, Harry doing his best to calm down. "You know, I was more against it at first. I had started to adjust to it a bit before the blip, but after… everything's different and people need someone. I know that's too much to put on a kid, your life is evidence enough of that, but he was going to shoulder that burden whether or not he or I wanted it. I decided to guide him through that. And I see how much he helps people just by being there. Even if its just swinging around the city and not fighting crime on this day, it cheers people up. It helps them heal a bit to know they've got someone to protect them. And how can we deny them that?"
Harry swallowed, because that was exactly what he had been told after the war was over. "Mate even when you're just walking down Diagon Alley you're helping people. They feel better knowing that you're there for them!" But Harry couldn't deal with that and he'd run off to America. It had been the best decision for his mental health but Britain had suffered. And he knew that if he'd been there from the start of the mutant crisis things would have been better. Those murders might not have happened… people might not have been so desperate. "Fine. I'll help too."
May accepted this and the two turned to head back to the apartment. They tried to catch up on more adult matters than they had been able to with Peter there but it was rather awkward. May had never been as at ease discussing his life in Britain as her brother and sister-in-law had been. Even Ben had been more at ease with it.
Harry was unsurprised to see a flash of red swing above his head but chose to be blind to it for the moment. He had bigger fish to fry than that rule being disobeyed. He was unsurprised to see a slightly ruffled Peter sitting on the ottoman attempting to look innocent when they finally entered the apartment. He rolled his eyes and walked towards the boy's bedroom, with Peter nervously following after him.
Harry settled on his office chair and Peter sat awkwardly on his bed. "So, tell me everything. Not the watered-down versions that you give May so she won't get upset. Everything. If you lie, I'll know." Peter nervously fussed with his hair and began.
By the time Peter was wrapping up, mumbling about going to blip support groups and charity events, Harry felt like killing the adults in Peter's life who had failed the child. Including himself. But murder, as he'd had to stress to the magicals of Britain over and over again, was not the proper solution. It was a familiar argument he chanted in his mind and it calmed him somewhat.
"Peter, I know that I haven't been there for you enough. And there's no excuse for that." "You-" Harry rose up his hand to stop Peter from interrupting, "No, there's not. When I was living in America I visited Teddy at least once every two weeks via Portkey." It was hell on my bank account and body, but you don't need to know that, he thought. "I'll admit that Britain was such a disaster that I was constantly distracted and I didn't pay enough attention to you or Teddy. But it's still no excuse. And I promise you that if I ever have to go back to Britain I'll do the same for you that I did for Teddy back then.
"But that's not important for now. What is important is that I'm here now and I've got your back. What people are asking of you isn't fair, Merlin knows I know that better than anyone. But since you're insistent on continuing to be Spider Man, I'll make sure to help you be better at this saving people thing than I ever was. Okay?"
Peter nodded hurriedly, eyes alight with excitement and launched himself at Harry, "Thank you Harry! Thank you so much!" Harry hugged the boy to him tightly, his instincts telling him it was wrong to let the boy to continue but his mind pointing out it was the right thing to do. He fought for calm as he held the child he had thought he had lost for too long. The child who had been suffering without his knowledge or help. The child he had failed.
"Okay, first things first. From now on I want the truth a hundred percent of the time. No exceptions and no excuses." Peter nodded earnestly as he watched Harry unpack his meager belongings into the storage provided by his hotel room. Harry was already apartment hunting but since the blip housing was tight. He'd had an apartment for convenience's sake before the blip, but had happily given it up afterwards when he'd thought his American family dead.
In all honesty Harry felt ridiculous for not already having this rule in place with Peter. But it was Teddy that was the mischief maker, not Peter. Peter was almost painfully naïve and so he'd never even thought it was necessary. Not that he thought it would have helped but still. He forced himself to move on from these thoughts.
"Next those vitals and location trackers that Stark had in place, I need them." Peter's face was the stereotypical pained teenagers and Harry hid his smile by turning away to straighten his dresser drawers. "I can take care of myself Uncle Harry! I swear!" Harry fought back his laughter and set his face in his firm godfather face that he'd perfected with Teddy. "Nonetheless, there's always someone stronger than you out there and I will be there whenever you need help."
A dark look crossed Peter's face, but it wasn't directed at Harry. Harry lamented the fact that he was having to control his own thoughts so thoroughly on this trip. He was finding himself far too sad and mad. For instance, he felt a strong, violent need to destroy whatever it was that had put that look on the boy's face. He couldn't actually do that because the boy and his former companions had been excellent at cleaning up their own messes. So, he was stuck pushing the anger away.
Peter gave in within moments, all fight having left with whatever he was thinking about, "I'll have to talk to Happy but we can do that." Harry nodded in acceptance. "After that, I don't suppose we could use Stark Labs, unless your internship is only a cover for being Spider Man." Peter shrugged, "It is but I'm also allowed to use the labs with supervision, why?"
"I'm going to test your limits and then spend at least two days a week training you. You've had distressingly little training and that's not the kind of thing you can just skimp on." Peter's eyes lit up at the thought, "Learning to fight from the Man-Who-Won! This is going to be so awesome!" Harry smiled, he didn't like the title, but if there was anyone who could get away with using it, it was either of his godsons. Teddy mostly used it to tease him but Peter seemed genuinely in awe. It was disconcerting but useful he supposed.
"And finally, if you get in over your head you're to call me immediately and I'll come, no matter what I'm doing." Peter frowned, "But Wizards aren't supposed to be Superheroes." Harry smirked, "And neither are teens but here we are. Also, you and I both know of at least five magicals who are superheroes. Read: Dr. Strange." "I don't think he was the same kind of wizard as you, though." Harry shrugged, "The point still stands." Peter nodded, "I suppose I can do that. We'll have to pick out a name for you though. Maybe- No… Uncle Wizard? Nope. The Uncle-Who-Lived? That's just stupid. Spider Uncle?" The boy shook his head and continued to mumbled to himself.
Harry interrupted, "You keep working on it. In the meantime, one final thing." Peter glanced up from where he had been muttering to the floor, "Bedtime." Peter laughed and declared, "Alright, but we're going home my way." Harry blinked, "Fair enough." He cast a glamor, knowing his godson would object to Harry being seen with him and Peter laughed again, doubling up he almost fell off the bed.
Harry furrowed his brows and glanced in the mirror, only to see his face twisted like taffy. He huffed, he was absolute shite at glamor charms. He rose his wand to try again only for Peter to stop him, "No! No! You'll be the Twisted Magician!" The boy continued to laugh and Harry shook his head, smiling, before turning back to focus properly on the glamor charm.
With that settled, once Peter had stopped laughing and shouting out random nonsense names, they set out. Peter using his web shooters and Harry on his broom. The first ten minutes- no who was he kidding- the whole ride alongside Peter had been disconcerting. First off Peter had gone from his awkward gangly godson to witty superhero with only a costume change. Second off Harry had never really considered how little there was to support Peter. Just some scientifically manipulated spider silk. Sometimes he swung through the air attached to absolutely nothing before firing off a shot of web that was less than the width of a quarter. He'd studied where the web had stuck to the buildings and found it spread out to at most the size of a dinner plate, often times less than that.
So, it was horrifying to see his godson flip around through the air with almost nothing supporting him. Not even magic. Still Peter had enjoyed himself and insisted on a race. To be honest, if he got over his worry for his safety, racing Peter was a lot like racing Teddy. After a minute or so he'd managed to actually get into it and they'd quickly started pushing each other. Harry was shocked to learn that Peter had initially been going slow to accommodate him, and he could in fact out race a Nimbus 2013.
He'd put Peter to bed, his art aching at the thought of the last time he had done this. Despite his protests that he didn't need to be tucked in like a child, Peter had smiled and laughed at him. Seemingly at ease now that he'd put on the costume at least once that day.
Harry groaned on Monday morning as his wand buzzed angrily at him. The alarm spell was useful in that it didn't truly go off until the conditions were met, aka he was fully awake. But it was also annoying as it grew ever louder and more annoying until he finally awoke. Thankfully only the caster could hear it or he was sure his neighbors would be complaining. Between drinking heavily not just last night but also Saturday night after he'd dropped Peter off at home both nights he was not in much condition to be awake at 6 in the morning, no matter that he was used to being awake earlier than this.
It wasn't that he had to drop Peter off at school, as thankfully the boy could now get himself there. No matter how much anxiety he gave Harry with his preferred mode of travel. No instead Harry had to go to the New York Magical Government Building and based off experience the sooner he got there the sooner he could leave.
So, with exhaustion nipping at his heals he got ready and apparated out. He appeared at an apparation point near the building and walked through the doors. The inside and outside were like light and day. Aside from the fact that the inside was much bigger than the outside, the outside looked old and worn while the inside looked modern, clean and sharp. While muggles were now allowed into the building for various reasons many magical buildings, especially those designed for the public had yet to do much to attempt to stop hiding, aside from getting rid of the spells. Except Weasleys Wizard Wheezes, they were just as flamboyant as ever. His lips twitched at the thoughts as he sought out the visitors' desk.
Eventually he managed to be led to a small office occupied by a bored looking wizard in muggle casual wear. Without looking up or otherwise acknowledging him the man passed him a clipboard of papers and Harry began the tedious process that was paperwork. It didn't matter where one was in the world, magical, muggle, Britain or America, paperwork was always tedious and boring.
After a half hour he passed the paperwork back to the man who huffed at having to stop reading his magazine before skimming the paperwork passed to him. Harry could see the moment the man did his double take. He glanced up at Harry who smiled blandly and the man's eyes widened. "If- if you'll excuse me." And with that the man ran out of the office so fast that if Harry didn't know better he'd have thought the man had apparated.
After five minutes the man reappeared, "This way Mr. Potter. Or is it Knight Potter? Or the Boy-" Merlin why did they have to bring up the fact that he'd been knighted? He decided to intervene before it got out of hand, "Mr. Potter is fine." The man nodded, "If you'll just follow me Mr. Potter." As they walked the man appeared to be sweating bullets. After several long seconds he said, "I apologize for my earlier rudeness, you must understand-" Harry waved it away, not in the least bit in the mood for groveling, "I understand, you're fine." The man babbled his thanks and his awe for the rest of the short walk and Harry was glad when he finally met the man's superior.
With some relief he was pleased to find that Mrs. Randel showed neither thanks nor awe at meeting him, or if she did she was good at hiding it. After some brief pleasantries they moved on to the matter at hand. "So, you want to be a superhero despite being a British citizen and earlier expressing no interest in being one. Why is that?" Well the woman was certainly blunt, he would give her that.
"Aside from the fact that I have duel citizenship," he began, then internally winced at her raised eyebrow. No matter how much time he spent around politicians he still couldn't stand it when people lied or ignored facts. But that certainly wasn't the best way to start this conversation, "I recently learned that I am related to a foolish boy who goes by the name Spider Man. As he will not see reason I have decided to assist him so he doesn't get himself killed. And that may occasionally mean going into combat. I will also be training him."
"I was under the impression you had no living relatives." Oh, that was a low blow, he seethed to himself. He ran through some quick exercises to calm down. "Impressions can be deceiving." He said no more, despite her intense scrutiny. "Very well, will you be attempting to join the Avengers?" Harry blinked blankly at her for a moment before shrugging, "I suppose if they'll take me."
She sighed, as if he was placing some great burden on her, which for all he knew he might be. "I'm sure between your illustrious history and your relation you'll have no problem getting in. Now, there are several steps to become a magical superhero." And she began to lay them out for him. And several was an extreme oversimplification. By the time Peter got out of school his migraine had gone from hangover to extreme, his hand was aching with pain, and his magic was coiled painfully in his chest from overuse.
Despite this Peter still hugged him, in plain view of his friends, when Harry arrived to 'walk' him home. In between being teased by his friends Harry was introduced to them. Most important, of course, were Ned and MJ. The four walked together slowly. They stopped first at a Thai restaurant, as Harry hadn't eaten anything but a granola bar all day. Then at a museum that was their favorite. He found it quite amusing that they had a favorite museum but refrained from teasing the teenagers too much. He also learned that MJ was quite a bit darker than Peter had portrayed her. And Peter's crush was quite a bit more intense than Harry had suspected, much to his own amusement.
After the museum MJ was dropped off at her house before they went to Peter's. The door had barely closed behind the three before Peter was excitedly bouncing up and down, "So how did it go?! Are you a superhero or did you have to go all MIB on their a- butts?!" He rolled his eyes over only to notice Ned looking confused. "Peter…" "Oh Ned knows, I mean not about you trying to become a superhero but now he does." Harry chuckled while Ned's eyes widened, "The-Boy-Who-Lived a superhero? I mean you already kind of were but that's awesome! Are you going to be an Avenger too?"
Peter was now literally jumping, "Oh yeah! I didn't even think about that! Will you join them?" Harry laughed, "I've got an interview with my handler and Pepper Potts-Stark next week." "What's a handler?" Ned asked while Peter did a happy dance.
"Your handler, you know the person that helps smooth the way with the local government and helps with tech and all that?" Ned turned to Peter, perplexed, "Why don't you have one?" Peter shrugged, "I think Happy is my handler. I mean its never been said but he does all that stuff." Ned nodded sagely and the two boys began to happily chatter about the intricacies of hero work. Harry leaned against the kitchen counter watching them. It reminded him of Hermione, Ron and Harry when they had been young. Suddenly his eyes widened, "Fuck! Hermione's going to kill me!"
Peter started laughing, "You didn't tell her, did you?" "I've got to find an international floo! Are you boys here fine on your own?" Ned nodded and Peter piped up, "I've got to patrol anyways. I'm sure you'll be back before me." Harry narrowed his eyes at the boy, "You'll-" "Yes Uncle, I'll contact you if I need help," it was accompanied with an eye roll and Harry glared at the boy before turning on the spot.
"Harry James Potter! You promised me you would tell me before you ran off halfcocked on your saving the day shit! You promised! Suddenly all this paperwork appeared and somehow the Prophet's got ahold of it already. Probably that damned Skeeter! The whole Ministry is in a tizzy and its all your fault!"
Harry grimaced and fought back the nausea that was threatening to overwhelm him. If international portkeys were hellish then the international floo was like sticking your head straight into hell. He was leant down into the floo with only his head all the way across the world and there was nothing more nauseating. He swore he could feel all of the land and water between his shoulder and his head. And of course, his face itched and his glasses were crooked but there was no way he was going to put an arm through the floo, he might actually throw up and then Hermione would lecture him about that too.
"I've been here for five hours over my normal time and poor Ron is doing what he can with the Prophet but I swear on everything that is sane and holy that if you ever pull something as ridiculous and asinine as this I will actually wear your guts for garters and look damned good in them. Now fill out this paper work and get it back to me."
A deceptively thin folder was waved in front of his face and he grimaced and opened his mouth wide, hopefully. Hermione had no sympathy though and just narrowed her eyes. He sighed and carefully plunged his arm across the world to accept the paperwork. Sure enough, he threw up and sure enough that was another lecture.