From: BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun

To: fuckificare

Sent: 7:42 AM 23 April 2017

Dear, fuckificare

Sorry… It was getting late and I fell asleep. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to push you into talking about something if you didn't want to. I get that you don't want to, entirely. Sorry, I just keep drawing this out.

Yes, I'm in high school! I'm also a junior! What are those chances? Pretty slim. Or maybe not..? I'm not entirely sure.

Well, I get back home around 3:40 so I probably won't reply until then. That is if you respond before that. That was kind of assumptive. Sorry.

Sorry for apologizing so much again. I still haven't taken my pills. I should probably do that now.

Sincerely, Me

From: fuckificare

To: BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun

Sent: 8:27 AM 23 April 2017

Dear, BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun

Just because you notice that you've apologized a lot doesn't mean that you have to apologize for apologizing, okay?

Just… Don't apologize for being yourself. I think you're fine the way you are, so just be you.

It's really obvious that I'm not really a pep talk kind of person, isn't it?

This is my first attempt.

I bombed it, didn't I?

Sincerely, Me

From: BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun

To: fuckificare

Sent: 3:47 PM 23 April 2017

Dear, fuckificare

Alright...I'll try to stop apologizing so much… It's kind of an unending struggle for me, but I'll really try.

How was your day today?

Mine was pretty average…

Sincerely, Me

From: fuckificare

To: BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun

Sent: 3:56 PM 23 April 2017

Dear, BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun

My day was pretty normal too. Nothing much to report. I skipped most of my classes, like usual, and I might have broken some guy's nose after school.

Totally on accident.

What about you? What's your definition of a normal day?

Also. Your username is kinda long. Do you mind if I just call you Birch?

Sincerely, Me

From: BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun

To: fuckificare

Sent: 4:12 PM 23 April 2017

Dear, fuckificare

Yeah! You can call me whatever you want.

As for my day… I went to school, had a slight panic attack during lunch, and then took the bus home after class. Nothing too exciting.

You should go to class. I won't lecture you or anything, I'm sure you don't need that, I'm just saying…

What happened? Why did you break someone's nose?

Sincerely, Me

From: fuckificare

To: BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun

Sent: 4:20 PM 23 April 2017

Dear, Birch

Not gonna lie, I waited two minutes to sent this so it would go through at that time.

ARE YOU OKAY? YOU CAN'T JUST CASUALLY SAY YOU HAD A PANIC ATTACK AND JUST BRUSH IT OFF LIKE THAT!

Sincerely, Me

From: BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun

To: fuckificare

Sent: 4:52 PM 23 April 2017

Dear, fuckificare

Oh. Yeah, I'm okay. I have panic attacks pretty often. It wasn't too bad. And I was in the nurse's office when it happened. So…

Seriously, though. We are not ignoring that you broke someone's nose.

Sincerely, Me

From: fuckificare

To: BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun

Sent: 5:23 PM 23 April 2017

Dear, Birch

Alright… If you're sure…

Okay. So this guy comes up to me while I'm waiting for my sister after school. I'm just sitting on the hood of the car right? And he just starts trying to sell me some shit from Japan, right? I mean, yeah. I'm the resident stoner of the school, but that doesn't mean that I do anything else. Anyways. So he's just going on about this shit like it's some kind of wonder drug. 'It'll fix everything. Your life will be so much better. Just get one dude, you'll see'. I guess it was some sort of hallucinogen, right? Like, ecstasy on steroids or some shit. So I told him I didn't want his fucking scam because one pill was $600, like what the fuck? Over priced much? But apparently, he really fucking thought that I needed to get into harder shit or something, because he wouldn't leave me alone. I saw my sister walking towards us, and she doesn't need to be around that shit, so I might have decided her seeing me in a fight was better than her seeing this guy who was pushing pills on me, right? So I just kinda decked him. He ended up running off, but his nose was bleeding really bad and I think I heard his nose break, but I don't know.

She somehow didn't see anything so we ended up having a pretty nice ride home.

Sincerely, Me

From: BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun

To: fuckificare

Sent: 6:48 PM 23 April 2017

Dear, fuckificare

I think I might actually know what you're talking about? I kind of blend into the background, so people talk about all sorts of stuff without realizing I'm there, so I hear a lot of things.

There's this one guy at my school who's been selling something like that. Hopefully someone stops it soon. Apparently after a while it makes you go crazy…

I'm glad you turned it down.

You probably shouldn't have punched him, though.

From what I know about your sister, which isn't much, she probably would have been glad you were refusing drugs. She might have preferred that to seeing you in a fight.

I thought you said it was an accident, though?

I'm not trying to say you did the wrong thing or anything though! Really!

I'm glad you're okay.

Sincerely, Me

From: fuckificare

To: BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun

Sent: 7:07 PM 23 April 2017

Dear, Birch

That's kind of concerning..? You haven't been propositioned yet, have you?

You seem like the kind of guy who'd be too anxious to say no, but then you'd never actually take it.

Don't let fuckheads like that pressure you into buying anything, okay? You gotta stand your ground. Especially with people like that.

You know, now that you point it out, you're probably right. About the whole not punching him thing. But it felt pretty good to see his face get so scared so quick.

Sincerely, Me

From: BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun

To: fuckificare

Sent: 8:39 PM 23 April 2017

Dear, fuckificare

No, people don't really notice me. And even if they did, they would never try to sell me drugs. My family friend says I kind of seem like a narc..? I don't know.

Honestly though, you're probably right. I would be too scared to say no.

Hurray for looking like an undercover cop..?

That was weird, sorry.

Sincerely, Me

From: fuckificare

To: BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun

Sent: 9:48 PM 23 April 2017

Dear, Birch

I wish people didn't notice me. I'm honestly tired of all the stares and whispers that they don't even try to cover up. I hate that every time something goes wrong, it comes back to me and is entirely my fault somehow.

I mean… I get that not being noticed sucks too because you feel like you could just disappear and no one would even notice.

I wish I could get to some kind of middle ground, you know? I don't want to stick out, but I don't want to be invisible either.

You know?

Just become a background character. Someone that people wave at in the halls and maybe have those half conversations, and that's it.

That'll probably never happen, though…

Sorry, that was a stupid rant about nothing.

Sincerely, Me

From: BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun

To: fuckificare

Sent: 10:01 PM 23 April 2017

Dear, fuckificare

No. You've told me to not apologize, so you don't get to either. Not over something like this.

That's how you feel, and it's valid. There is no need for an apology. You legitimately did nothing wrong. Feelings aren't wrong or right, they just are. They aren't stupid and they're not nothing. They can drag you down and build you up just as much as words and thoughts.

And I get it. I see how people always talking about you and assuming the worst can get tiring.

Honestly, I want the same. I don't want to be popular or anything, I just want someone to actually notice me.

Sincerely, Me

From: fuckificare

To: BirchYouWeren'tExpectingATreePun

Sent: 10:23 PM 23 April 2017

Dear, btirsch

We hacvnt bernn tslkiknmg frr verrry lolng bujt i actual yh nolticde yoluj so its olakr rikhgt?

Imn nolt enolugbh tholuhg hujh?

Thatas olkay

Ik doln t hav e t ol b e

Ii

Mm uswed to tharftf

Sin edcedrflyg, meed