This takes place after the episode Bathtub in season 2, but goes off into a AU.

"Okay, what happened to you?" Winston asked when Jess stormed into the apartment and slumped against the counter.

"All I want is to be able to have meaningless sex. That's all I want, but no, I have to be the one girl who's plagued by wanting to get to know the person they are hooking up with."

"You aren't the only girl who wants to know." Schimdt chimed in from where he was sitting on the couch. "I'm sure there are plenty more. That being said, I haven't met them."

"Thanks." Jess sighed from where she was standing. "Any reason why you two can't wake up with a hangover, or do I need to go drinking by myself?"

"I can't, I gotta go to work in a couple hours. Alerted schedule."

"Business meeting."

Jess nodded, and went into her room to get ready to drink by herself, but not before saying. "Schmidt, can you send someone to drive me home?"

"You got it." Schmidt responded, giving her a thumbs up over the couch.


Nick was wiping down the bar when he heard the door open and saw Jess come in with a frown on her face as she sat down at the bar.

"Rough night, Jess?" He asked, getting ready to make her a Blue Hawaiian with the shipment of little umbrellas they had just gotten a couple hours earlier.

"I can't have meaningless sex. It's impossible. Please tell me you're making my Blue Hawaiian."

"It's either that or a Strawberry Lemonade Vodka." Nick insisted as he started to mix the drink while pouring himself a glass of straight whiskey. "But seriously, who was it?"

"Sam. The problem is that I REALLY like him. He's nice, and handsome, and he's paid to take care of kids. He thinks I only started liking him when I found out what he did, but I liked him the whole time, and he doesn't want to date me." She sighed, putting her head against the bar counter.I

"What you need to do is find a new hook up. You don't have to know where they work, their birthday, even their name. Just find someone at this bar." Nick insisted, sliding her the Blue Hawaiian. "Just make sure you are both drunk."

"Thanks, Nick." She smiled, stirring the top of the drink with the tiny green umbrella in her drink, while he sipped his whiskey, trying not to get too drunk on the job.


After getting drunk enough that she had to leave the bar, and Nick finishing his shift, also drunk, Cece drove the pair back to their apartment and followed them up to make sure they got up there okay.

"Thanks for getting Jess, Cece. I really, I mean, thank you-" Schmidt started, but was stopped by Cece pressing her finger to his lips.

"I brought her home because she is my friend, not as a favor to you. Goodnight, Schmidt." She told him before walking out, which led a disappointed Schmidt to sulk back to his room, leaving just Nick and Jess in the hallway.

"You know, Nick. You're really cute, and..." Jess told him, her fingers pulling at his shirt with drunkenness in her eyes.

Nick, however, stopped listening and was staring at Jess's eyes. Her slightly shiny, light blue eyes. He never realized how pretty she was. And also that she looked like Katy Perry.

"-And I just want to go at you like a cat with a scratching post. Nick?" She stopped, but flinched slightly when she felt Nick put his hand on her cheek, and press his lips against hers, turning into a long but passionate kiss.

When he pulled away, and took his hand off her face, he started to apologize, but Jess kissed him back, wrapping her legs around his waist, and allowed herself to be carried to his bedroom.