A/N: Just an old introspective piece I wrote a while back :)


My job is…odd.

Yes, I'm grumpy most of the time. I can't help it, this is not how I planned for my life to turn out: Single, childless, and working full-time as a zookeeper. But my life is seasoned by the oddities and weirdness of the Central Park Zoo. None of the kids or other workers notice it, but something is very, very weird at this zoo.

It's the penguins.

They always disappear, and I never know where they are. It's almost like they have some cave hidden on the zoo, but I can't find it. And they all act like nuts! The tall one, I really thought he was holding a clipboard once. Then there's the burping one – it's disgusting! But the others don't seem to care. The tiny cute one is always getting…slapped. In fact, they all are, by the flat-headed one. He seems to be 'in charge' of all of them. He does most of the slapping.

The flat-headed one hangs around the otter a lot. I catch them out of their habitats all the time, sometimes I just let it slide. Sometimes the animals and I have a silent contract, where I let them wander around as long as they don't make too much trouble and do get back…eventually.

I've found a multitude of objects around the zoo, so many that at this point I just ignore them. Some I'll bring home. A lot of them are invention-type things that I bring home and tinker with, they're usually broken. Sometimes I'll find a Lunacorn plush, that I never take, I just leave in the lost-and found.

The lemurs are always bothering the penguins. If I ever die on the job, it will be caused by getting in the crossfire of those two habitats. I'll get hit by a flying mango, or maybe a rocket. Either way, it will be from one group directed at the other.

I don't know why no one else notices. I've got a conspiracy theory WALL at home dedicated to this zoo, and some day, just you wait, these weirdo animals are gonna make me famous! Until then, they're making me crazy.

It's not so bad. They're all kind of cute. But still, no matter how many people don't believe me, something isn't right at Central Park Zoo.

And I hope it always stays that way.