- My Big Fat Martian Gypsy Wedding-


In space there is no time, no day or night, yet it was too late when they returned to Bebop. No one seemed to be awake and the silence of the ship was welcoming.
Faye let out a long, tired breath when they walked into the little room where the couches were.

"All the muscles in my body hurt," she fell on the couch, rubbing her thighs."My poor legs, I'm going to be sore all week."

Spike looked at her quite intently as he sat next to her.

"If you trained more often you wouldn't be like this now,"he replied with a mocking tone, dropping his shoes to the floor.

"You were so nice... I appreciate your concern," she mumbled in sarcasm without even looking at him, turning on the TV.

Spike chuckled and lay on the couch.

"Can you sit down like a normal human being? The couch isn't just yours." she replied bitterly, looking at him out of the corner of her eye.

"If I'm bothering you, go away," he answered touching her thighs with his feet.

"Arrg, don't touch me!," Faye moved away with an annoyed look on her face as she unwillingly switched channels, without even bothering to leave a few seconds of each channel to select up a program.

Suddenly, A scene showed a young woman with excessive make-up, wearing very short pants, smiling at the camera as she spoke slowly with a strong Romany accent.

""Gypsy women don't work, they have to worry about the house, take long baths and take care of their husbands""

"Look, they're talking about you," he settled down on the couch so he could watch TV better.

"Spike, you know damn well I'm not..." she tried to answer but was immediately interrupted by Spike.

"Sssh," he whispered to shut her up. "They're talking about your people, listen woman..."

""Gypsies marry young, I'm 14, it's time I found a husband.""

"You're late, Romany," he laughed, tapping her with his feet again "Too late, no one's going to want you..."

"Don't touch me with your filthy feet," she said, knocking them off the couch.

""We like to dress provocatively, to look pretty, we like to be looked at, to be the center of attention...""

"So that's why you dress like that, huh," he raised his eyebrows laughing."Is that a tradition of your people?"

"No, Spike, I'm doing it to satisfy your masculinity," the sarcasm floated in her every word.

""...but we remain virgins until marriage, it's a thing of honor.""

"You broke that rule," he laughed once more and kept tapping her with his toe. "In fact, I think you should break it again, right now," he smiled arrogantly and winked at her.

"Did you really think that line was gonna work? That I gonna say to you, oh yeah, Spike, take me right here? "

He laughed out loud and although she tried not to laugh, she couldn't help it.

The gypsy girl kept talking about her plans, her dress, about what kind of guys she liked. She had unusually long dark hair, and big blue eyes. Spike was looking intently at the screen.

"She has the same doll face as you have, she may be your cousin, she has your legs too," he muttered, looking at her with the same attention.

"Spike, she's 14 years old, don't be creepy," she punch him in the feet and he smiled.

"Jealousy, my dear?" he rubbed his chin with a malicious smile.

"Sure, honey, I'm dying of jealousy," she squinted her eyes and focused her attention back to the father of the girl who among millions of swearwords continued his chatter.

""I am planning to organize the biggest husband finding party in history, my little girl will find a husband who will support her and handle her like a queen. A gypsy queen.""

"We can arrange you a party to find you a husband, although you're a little old for gypsies, we'll have to set you on sale," he laughed like a little boy. "Or an ancient one who's desperate."

"Neither in this universe nor in any other would I allow you find me a husband, gaujo," she pinched his calf as she bit her lips laughing.

"I'd find the perfect man for you, Romani, no doubt about it," he stretched out his legs and placed them in her lap."who treat you like a gypsy queen..."

"I doubt it so much... so stop dreaming." she closed her eyes, leaned against the backrest and let her arms fall on Spike's legs."I don't have the strength to push you away. You take advantage of that..."

"Yes, I'm exhausted too," he put his arms behind his head and closed his eyes too."We ran like crazy today."

Jet walked into the common room, the TV was on and his two partners were sleeping like loggers on the couch. He was going to notify them that they had already been paid the reward of the guy they had captured in the morning.

He knew that the moment he woke them up, there would be arguments about percentages, about who had done more than who, who deserved more, or similar nonsense.

So he turned around and allow them sleep.

He had plenty of time to hear them scream later.


I'm going to keep translating my stories until I come up with something new.

I hope you like it. This came to me while watching a program on TV about gypsy weddings. (hahahaha) I have to say that the things in italics are just as I heard them on that show.