Sleeping on this couch will never get more comfortable. I don't know if it's really the stiffness or if it's the fact that there is always an unsettling reason that follows me sleeping on the couch. The night turned out well: My chicken was delicious, Doreen was charming, Janet's dad was in good spirits, which was more than I could say for his daughter…
Well, she's the reason why I probably wasn't sleeping on this couch. There was something about Doreen that really unsettled her. I began to wonder if she was really like this with all the girls I've dated. Maybe a little, I don't know. It seems the more put together the girl is, the more Janet has a problem with her. Well, that thought pisses me off. She can blame herself for that.
I heard a door shut. I turned to look and I saw that it was Janet. I thought for sure that I didn't want to see her, but it alarmed me that I saw her wipe her eyes. I immediately reached for the lamp and turned the on switch.
"Jack," she said, startled. "Turn off the light!"
"No," I said, defiantly.
"Yes," she argued, turning the light back off. "You're going to wake people up!"
"No," I said as I turned it back on. "I can tell you were crying."
"So what if I was?"
"Well, fuck me for caring! What's the matter with you?"
That came out way too harsh. If I really wanted her to open up to me, that was the wrong way. She put her hands on her face as she began to cry again. Oh, I hate it when she cries. I know she really is pain when she lets herself go like that.
"Come here, baby," I say, softly. She does come to me and she lets me wrap my arms around her. I begin to rock her as her crying softens.
"I'm sorry," she finally says as she raises her head to look at me.
"I guess I do get jealous sometimes."
"So, it is about Doreen?" I ask as I run my hand through her hair.
"It's about me. I'm not the woman I could be."
"What could you be?"
"Last I knew you were one…"
"Jack!" She screeched while I laughed. Hey, I was just trying to lighten the load. It obviously didn't work.
"That's what I mean," she began to cry again as she walked away. "Mr. Furley was right that I'm way too moody for a man. Terri was right that I was at least a tiny bit jealous of Doreen's intelligence and independence. My father is in the other room most likely wondering why I'm not married still. Then you…"
"Yes, you! You forever making jokes at my expense."
"I do not!"
"Oh, yes you do!"
"Like when? Name one time!"
"Dr. Benson's house."
"The big backyard. I'm sure you wish I still wasn't on a leach. I could just roam the backyard whenever I wanted."
It hit me what she was saying. I didn't remember it until she brought it up. Oh my God, she's been carrying that around?
"Baby," I softened, again. "I didn't mean it."
"You know how hard it is to love someone who says things like that to you?"
"You love me?"
"Well, yes. I do care about you Jack."
"Well, I love and care about you, too."
"When you say things to me like that, I don't know."
"Well, I'm letting you know now," I say as I extend my arms out for a hug. "Come here."
She did come to me. I held her gently and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I turned to see her father standing in the doorway.
"She's okay," I mouth to him.
"Thank you," he mouthed to me as he retreated back into my room. Did he hear everything? God, I hope not.
"I'm sorry," I said to Janet as I kissed her again. "A million times I'm sorry."
Dear God, please tell me Roland Wood heard me say that to his daughter...