Muchitsujo no Konoha
I don't own MLP or Naruto
Summary: Instead of summoning the Shinigami, Minato gets a Draconequus. Instead of getting turned to stone, a certain draconequus gets sent to another world. With a world brimming with its own bloody form of Chaos, Discord find himself intrigued by these humans, these ningen. The question is, is he corrupting them or the other way around?
Minato Namikaze: Yondaime Hokage, Yellow Flash, Husband to Kushina Uzumaki, Student of Jiraiya, Sensei of Kakashi Hatake and two KIA students, officially a father as of now, and a few other things. While he certainly was proud of many things in his life, he wasn't too proud to admit he was confused and possibly made a mistake the size of the Hokage Mountain. Now, Minato had never seen the Shinigami, which he was thankful for, so he had no idea of what it really looked like, but he doubted this was it. Though, he had rushed the seal a little, so there was a chance that this was NOT a death god at all.
What it was, he had no idea. It was chimeric, made of at least a dozen different animals. It had a long, serpentine body that was at least fifteen feet from head to red scaled tail with spikes along the spine. Its hind legs consisted of one chestnut colored bull leg while the other was a lime green dragon palm with an opposable thumb. From above the tail to the start of its long neck, it had a had a rich shade of brown fur covering its slender form. On its back was a purple leathery wing and a blue feathered one, both relatively small to the rest of its body. For forelimbs, it sported a lion's paw and an eagle's claw. Its long craned neck and head were covered in grey fur with a black horse mane. Its somewhat equine head was adorned with two different horns, a white deer horn and a blue horn that might have been a ram's, along with a snaggletooth sticking out of its mouth. The thick eyebrows and goatee were solid white, giving the creature an aged appearance.
It just floated there, as if gravity didn't even acknowledge its existence while it slowly twisted and turned in the air, stroking its beard with its eagle claw, looking very confused and interested at the same time. It turned, looking at Minato with his dying wife and new born child right behind him. Those yellow orbs with different sized crimson eyes did have a very attention grabbing quality, even with the rest of the creature to consider.
Just by the look of it, Minato decided to dub the creature a he- if only to stop thinking of it as an it and to never relate that face to anything female- and he looked at Minato with a very curious expression. He spoke, but not in any tongue the Hokage had ever heard, "...I'm sorry, what did you say, Kami-Sama?" Minato asked sheepishly.
"Are you sure that's a Kami, Minato?" Kushina asked weakly, holding Naruto with one hand while the other pressed against the ground, her chakra chains barely holding down the Kyuubi for the time being.
The creature blinked as its eyes gained a look of understanding...before he pulled his tongue out to an overly comical length and letting it snap back into his mouth, his eyes spinning like a slot machine. After a moment of shocked and uncertain staring from the married couple, the eyes stopped with a celebratory bing-bing-bing sounding from nowhere as the eyes stopped and revealed the kanji for "Japanese", or rather Nihongo, in his eyes. He then proceeded to blink his eyes back to normal and grin at that, "Sorry, had to get my tongue adjusted, Little Ningen," He informed with a chuckle, hands on his hips- or where they would be if his body was shorter.
"...Are you the Shinigami?" Minato asked in disbelief.
""Death God?" Oh, no no no, my good sir!" He denied dramatically, waving his hands in front of him, "I am "Discord," or Muchitsujo in your tongue," He explained proudly.
"...So, does that mean you're the god of Chaos and Confusion?" Kushina asked weakly.
Discord hummed in interest as he looked over to her before locking onto the baby in her arms. Next thing Kushina knew, Discord's head and arms popped over from behind her shoulders, 'I never even saw him move!' Minato thought in shock and awe, almost feeling like his title as the Yellow Flash was being challenged.
"Oh, and does this little bundle of joy belong to you two?" Discord asked with an amused tone, one eagle arm over Kushina's shoulder and the lion's making a tickling gesture at the infant...then he blinked as he felt something unusual, something he wasn't used to feeling.
The sensation of someone truly and utterly wanting to kill him.
He rose an eyebrow as he looked into the glaring eyes of Kushina Uzumaki, focusing the intent to kill and daring him to harm a single hair on her baby's golden head. Kushina might never know the impact this one gesture had on the future of her world, how much that one motherly act impressed the opinion of a mad god.
The Lord of Discord looked to Minato out of the corner of his eye, keeping the other on Kushina. Discord saw the kunai in his hand, the glare in his blue eyes, felt the blasphemous intent to strike at a god that would lay a hand upon his family.
"Humans, how interesting," Discord muttered to himself in Equestrian as he grinned lazily and brought himself out from behind Kushina and switched back to Nihongo, "Hmm, I think I'm going to enjoy this world," He commented with a smirk at the night sky.
The two looked at him warily before Kushina gasped and hissed just as the sound of creaking metal filled the air, Kyuubi roaring as it finally broke from its restraints. Minato looked behind him in light shock while Discord just rose an eyebrow at the giant fox, "I take it this furball is why you were looking for a Shinigami?" The spirit of disharmony asked, clearly unimpressed.
"Muchitsujo-Sama!" Minato yelled with a desperate scowl on his face, "I know you're not the one I intended to summon, but please, will you help us?!" He asked quickly.
Discord's eyebrow shot up for a moment at the request before smirking coolly, "What's your name, Ningen?" He asked in amusement.
"Minato Namikaze, Yondaime Hokage of Konohagakure!" He answered without hesitation, even as he heard and sensed what had to be the Kyuubi charging a Bijuu Bomb.
"Then, Minato Namikaze, I have only two words to say to you...," Discord said ominously, trailing off while he raised his eagle claw slowly as the mass of dark purple chakra grew smaller and denser, "...Wish granted!" Discord declared with a snap of his finger.
The Bijuu Bomb, one of the greatest destructive abilities in all of Shinobi history literally popped in the face of Kyuubi...and exploded in a massive amount of pink bubble gum.
All of the ninjas stared in slack-jawed disbelief as the greatet of the nine stood there, stunned as it was covered in pink goop form its mouth down to its front legs and back to the feet of its hind legs. It comically tried to pull and thrash against the substance but only succeeded in shaking the ground and getting itself more stuck. It finally stopped in defeat when five of its tails tips were trapped in the sticky material, slouching down and whining in humiliation and confusion at its rather bizarre defeat.
"...You just defeated the Kyuubi no Kitsune with fucking bubble gum," Kushina said with a strained grin.
"Yes, yes I did. Not that it means anything to me, having never met a six tails, let alone a nine tails," Discord answered idly, giving a stage bow for his performance nonetheless.
"Um...not exactly what I had intended, but thanks all the same, Muchitsujo-Sama," Minato said awkwardly, "...Do you mind waiting until we have the Kyuubi sealed again before you take my soul?" He requested sheepishly.
"Hmm? What's this about your soul?" Discord asked with a tilt of the head, which kept on turning until it was back in its original position.
Minato blinked but shook it off, "It's just that...well, when I was trying to summon the Shinigami, I was working under the assumption it would cost me my soul- I kind of assumed that that still applied," Minato explained, wondering if he might actually get out of this alive on top of everything else.
"Well, I appreciate the offer, but I have no desire or need for a soul," Discord said dismissively with his arms crossed, "Still, I guess I could use a payment for services rendered,"" He commented offhandedly.
"And what would that be?" Minato asked curiously, wondering what a God capable of defeating the Kyuubi with a snap of his fingers could possibly want with him if not his very soul.
Discord hummed as his eyes settled on the mother and newborn, "...There are three things I want at this exact moment," Discord said in an unusually serious voice as he floated over to Kushina, "First off, I want you..." He said, letting it hang as Kushina and Minato tensed, "...to not die," He finished with a grin as he snapped his fingers again.
Kushina blinked as she looked down at her body, feeling herself over with her free hand, "...I'm healed?" She questioned to no one in numb shock. And despite not being no one, Discord nodded in assurance, "YATTA! I'M GOING TO LIVE! YOU HEAR THAT NARU-CHAN!? KAA-SAN ISN'T GOING ANYWHERE!" Kushina cheered for joy, spinning in delight as she held up her baby boy, who giggled cutely at his mother's happiness.
Minato looked on in amazement and happiness that he suppressed half out of suspicion and half just because the shocks were making him numb to the situation, "And...and the other two things you want?" Minato asked slowly.
Discord still watched Kushina for a moment before tapping her shoulder, getting her immediate attention, "...May I hold him?" He asked with a toothy smile.
Both parents looked surprised by that, sharing confused looks. Before, Kushina had been protective and suspicious of this strange being. Now, he had just saved her home, her family, and her life. And now he was asking to hold her baby...? "Umm, sure, just be careful," Kushina answered uneasily as she slowly held out her son.
Discord just grinned as he took the child into his paw and claw. The babe stirred a bit unhappily at the change in holder before opening his bright eyes to look up at the Draconequus. Red eyes met blue, chaos met innocence, and omnipotence met potential.
Naruto Uzumaki giggled as his little arms reached out to grab the tangling goatee, completely unafraid of the strange creature that held him.
Discord grinned in an odd, knowing way as his beard slipped out of the toddler's hands before handing him back to his mother who was all too eager to have her son back in general, regardless of who or what was holding him, "Ahem, now onto that third thing...?" Discord reminded with a smirk as he looked at the Hokage. Minato wasn't sure if he liked that look.
If it wasn't for Hiruzen Sarutobi being among the council of elders, Minato would have been all too tempted to disband them and pick newer ones, if only because he didn't like those three shoving their years of experience in his face whenever he disagreed with them.
Still, he took great joy in seeing Koharu and Homura going slack jawed at his explanation, "We summoned the wrong god," He informed sheepishly. Hokage or not, there was no way to say that without feeling awkward.
"How do you...summon the wrong god?!" Koharu asked in disbelief.
"Wrong or not, it seemed to have gotten the job done," Sarutobi commented with a smirk.
"Unconventional as it was, I am forced to agree," Danzo admitted evenly, "Yondaime-Sama, the Shinigami was going to take your soul. What did this god demand?...And why bubblegum?" Danzo asked, resisting the urge to glare at the briefly snickering Sarutobi.
"This...Kami had a most unusual request, but one that I can't see as a negative yet," Minato explained slowly, purposefully ignoring the other question.
"Well, don't keep us in suspense, Mina-Kun?" Sarutobi asked with a smirk.
"Oh, I just wanted to move into this quaint village of yours."
Minato sighed deeply as three of the four retired ninja held kunai in Discord's direction, who was laying on a couch (that had never been there) while spit polishing...Danzo's cane, who blinked as he found it gone.
The four took in the sight of the creature with wide eyes, having trouble just processing its design at first, "Is that a friendly greeting in these parts?" Discord asked in amusement, returning to his task of making the cane shine, rubbing his tail tip over it.
"Depends on the person, Muchitsujo-Sama," Minato answered simply, tired yet amused.
"Oh? I'll have to find those then," Discord said with a massive grin.
"Hokage-Sama, THIS is the god you summoned?" Homura asked tensely.
"Yes, and he also defeated the Kyuubi in an instant," Minato pointed out, as if making it clear how stupid they were to threaten their guest.
"Well, you certainly got an interesting one, if nothing else," Sarutobi mused with a raised eyebrow.
"I knew the monkey would like me," Discord said with a chuckle as he spun the cane, very rapidly, before stopping it. He then tossed it in Danzo's direction, causing it to float at a sedate pace to the war hawk.
The one-eyed elder took it cautiously, eyeing the chimera with a scowl, "Where are my guards?"
"I was about to ask the same thing," Minato added in with a scowl, "I never got a chance to inform the ANBU about him before coming here."
"Oh, you mean theeeeeese~?" Discord asked teasingly, holding out a glass jar with tiny air holes in the lid...and filled with several black clothed and white masked humans, in miniature, scurrying around their confines and running up the walls, but unable to escape for some reason, "I thought they were thieves or something. I was going to turn them over to you after this, Nato-Kun," Discord explained casually, even as everyone stared at him in shock.
"You...you shrunk them?" Koharu asked in disbelief.
"Ningen, so easily impressed," Discord teased with a grin as he tossed the jar over the heads of the seniors in the room, into a worried Minato's arms, "Just break it when we're done, they'll be normal sized after that," He informed casually.
"Umm, right," Minato said awkwardly, placing it on his desk, the tiny ANBU squeaking for their leader to help them, "Just...sit tight for a moment," He requested with a sigh as he turned back to the god in his office, "Please refrain from shrinking my ninja in the future, Muchitsujo-Sama," Minato requested.
"I told you, I thought they were thieves! I was just looking out for my new friend," Discord defended with an innocent look and a halo above his head.
Everyone rose an eyebrow at that, Danzo going as far as to tap the golden ring with his cane...making it fall off and down one side, landing on the couch as the light sputtered out, causing the chaotic being to cross his arms and pout, "You broke my halo," He complained childishly to Danzo.
The leader of ROOT had no response to that.
"Muchitsujo-Sama, was it?" Sarutobi spoke up, smiling in welcome and in amusement over his old comrade's reactions, "Bring us back to the subject at hand, you wish to live among us mortals?"
"Said the God of Shinobi," Discord countered in amusement, "But, yes, I have been on the hunt for a more accommodating home. Low and behold, Nato-kun accidentally summoned me to this quaint little dimension and...well, I'm not one to turn down Chaos giving me such a boon," he explained casually.
"...There are so many questions that rise from that answer," Homura stated warily.
"Most pertinent is a clarification: While we deeply appreciate you for subduing the Kyuubi, what exactly are your demands as far as "moving in" as you put it, Muchitsujo-Sama?" Sarutobi inquired diplomatically, his old teammates sharing a look, pondering what it would cost to build a home or shrine great enough to satisfy such a being.
"Oh, mainly just you Ningen having to get used to my wonderful personality and sense of humor," Discord answered with a smile that was both benign and disturbing, before smirking at them. "Money has no meaning for me, and luxury, while a nice sentiment, is little better. Still, I would need some space to myself: You all have a particularly chaotic place nearby I can use?" he asked playfully, not really expecting an answer.
"...Well, there's the Forest of Death?" Minato suggested offhandedly.
The God of Chaos blinked, catching their attention. "This place has one of those too?" he asked,stroking his beard. "Odd coincidence."
"Hmm? What do you mean, Muchitsujo-Sama?" Minato inquired curiously.
"Oh, it's nothing, just some place from the world I came from had a dark, so-called unnatural forest that was the subject of many scary stories, and was right next to a small town," he explained.
The Hokage and elders thought about it for a moment before nodding. "Yes, that does sound like the Forest of Death," Koharu murmured.
"If I may speak, Kami-Sama?" Danzo started stoically.
"If I opposed, you'd have already known," Discord granted as he leaned back in the couch, summoning a golden goblet to drink a green and black swirled slushie through a katana-shaped straw.
Reacting as little to the madness before him as possible, Danzo continued. "While thanks are due, I must inquire as to what became of the Kyuubi. It simply...vanished not long after it was...trapped."
"And all the gum too, thankfully," Minato murmured in relief.
"You're welcome, Nato-kun," Discord said with a too-sincere grin, the colors fading from his drink as he sucked, but the drink itself never getting reduced in volume. He paused, giving a wry look to the war hawk. "Don't worry, I sent the furball somewhere it won't bother you all."
The room got uncomfortably quiet, to Discord's amusement and delight. "With respect, Muchitsujo-Sama, we need to seal that creature," Homura stated warily.
"Hmm?" Discord stopped, peering at the elders with a furrowed brow before slowly giving a dark smirk. "Ohh, I see now. You want to use Niney as a weapon."
"A deterrent, actually," Sarutobi spoke up diplomatically. "It is not the only one of its kind, Kami-Sama; the other eight are divided among other shinobi villages."
"Mutually Assured Destruction," Discord summarized with a giggle; as if he found it a childishly amusing game. He tossed the goblet behind himself offhandedly as it dissolved into lines and colors before disappearing in midair. "The fox stays with me, Ningen."
'Genjutsu?' the elder ninja wondered in confusion, unable to sense the illusion in any form.
Koharu and Homura grimaced at that while Danzo scowled slightly. Sarutobi just looked curious. "Was that part of this arrangement, Minato-Kun?" he inquired curiously.
"No," Discord admitted with a chuckle. "But that was when I was under the impression that claiming my new pet wouldn't be an issue."
"And it won't be," Minato assured firmly, to even Discord's surprise.
"Hokage-Sama, that is not a decision to make lightly!" Koharu interjected in outrage.
"I'm not," Minato answered, giving her an even, level smirk. "I'm just not going to argue with the Kami that made it."
"You're too pale and not bald enough to be saying that," Discord remarked with a snort despite his amused tone.
The Yondaime chose to ignore that strange comment. "But in light of our current state, I hope you wouldn't be opposed to aiding us if others smelt blood in the water?" he asked hopefully.
Discord smiled and it was almost predatory. "Nato-Kun, I told you I'm moving in. What kind of roommate would I be if I didn't help bash in some heads while we're being robbed?"
The council members eyed the exchange with understanding and tepid approval. Minato was coveting the good will of a Kami, a powerful one that was rather casual in throwing his weighty power around. Losing the Kyuubi might be a small sacrifice for his protection and, possibly, what else they could gain from this relationship. More to the point, besides being dangerous to defy a Kami in any capacity, it was beyond their power to do anything right now about the situation.
"Now, if we're done, I believe you have some fatherly gushing to catch up on. Or is that just a Mom-thing here?" Discord inquired with a chuckle.
"More of a "we're so happy we don't have to orphan our newborn" thing," Minato answered, giving a respectful bow to Discord before disappearing via Hiraishin.
The draconequus blinked before scowling. "Well, someone is stealing my thunder," he quipped before vanishing in a snap of his talons-
-causing the jar of tiny-ANBU to fall off the desk and break, the retired ninjas jumping back as the room was suddenly filled with a pile of ANBU agents, groaning and tangled together.
The veterans all shared a look and sighed, mentally agreeing that they were getting too old for this.
End of Chapter
And there we go! Firest chapter to this bit. Had half of this done for over a year, just waiting for inspiration to continue. So, also, yes, Muchitsujo is "Discord" in japanese as far as I can tell. Anyway, obviously Discord has taken a shine to Naruto and family, but remember that this is Pre-reform Discord, villain Discord. He's only actting nice-ish because this world is already chaotic in its own way. Time will tell how much he'll affect the village.