Discord glanced towards the horizon as he flew through the sky. Dawn would be coming soon. He was tempted to push it back another hour or two, but he felt no need to set of more alarm bells for his ningen allies. Besides, he was saving that for a special occasion.
Besides, the moon felt weird in this world, and he hadn't bothered to investigate that yet.
Throwing that thought out of the window of his mind, he continued his journey back to the Forest of Death and focused his attention onto something else.
Namely, his shrine.
He never asked for it, and Minato confirmed that it wasn't anything official. It was just something the citizens of Konoha made.
It had appeared about a month after the Kyuubi Incident or the Foxy Problem, as Discord liked to call it. Back then, it was just a set of three makeshift pillars of stone, each with a wooden statue of his likeness upon them. And before them was a wide stone bowl that people put offerings into. It had evolved over time. Every few months, there was something new about it: a circle of wooden poles around it, decorated with shide-streamers. Then a small torii gate was added. Later, two ema walls bearing prayers and wishes. Now it even had a small building around the statues and prayer walls, serving as a haiden: a hall of worship. Behind the statues was a large window, giving full view to the Forest of Death.
Discord would never admit it, but he had been speechless when he first found the shrine and realized what it was; he was even more so when the offerings came. Or rather, when they didn't stop. He fully expected that, after the first year, the offerings would trickle down. After all, he didn't answer prayers or actively give open aid to the village at large. Yet, the offerings kept coming: some spare money, a family heirloom or two, alcohol of various quality, all manners of food, fine quality weapons and other knickknacks. Kids even slipped in drawings and candy, which he always enjoyed finding. It wasn't all grand, but Discord couldn't deny how much he looked forward to checking to see what the ningen had left him. And he could preserve any food they left him for a later date.
So here he was, in the dead of night, checking about the latest gifts from the ningen of Konoha.
Of course, he hadn't expected it to be occupied when he entered.
"Don't you have a child to be gushing over?" Discord asked in surprise to the woman kneeling before the statues, hands in a prayer with two sticks of incense burning.
"Muchitsujo-Dono!" she exclaimed in shock as she turned, but did not rise from her kneeling position as the God of the shrine floated through the entrance. "I am-"
"I know who you are, Hibana-Chan," Discord headed her off, tilting his head at the mother. "It's been a few years, but it's hard to forget when you hugged me for saving your little sunshine. Kushina never lets you live that down, or so Ruto-Kun tells me."
Hibana looked a bit embarrassed as Discord floated by her idly. "Yes, well, I didn't expect you to start floating all of a sudden, Muchitsujo-Sama," she stated before turning serious, facing forward again as he moved. "It is long overdue, but I came to express my eternal gratitude for saving my daughter, Muchitsujo-Sama," she declared, prostrating herself fully against the floor.
Discord paused in his inspection of his offering bowl, blinking at the over the top display. "You're quite welcome, Hibana-Chan. I take it that this is from you then?"
The wife of the Hyuuga Clan Head looked up from her bowing position to see a neatly folded piece of clothing tied with a silver silk bow in his claw. "Yes, Kami-Sama. I hope you find it most appealing," she admitted humbly.
Discord raised an eyebrow as he pulled away the ribbon and unfolded the clothing. He knew that clothing was a suitable offering to local Gods in this world, but none had ever given him any-likely due to him having not felt the need to take a human form. Yet, as the clothing floated in the air on full display, he honestly could admit to being impressed. The kimono was of fine quality, a steely grey accented by a lining that faded back and forth between dull pink and light purple. Its measurements were deliberately designed for him, allowing it to wrap around his proportions rather well with a divide down the back for his tail. The hakama was green with brown zigzag lines and a hole, also to fit his tail. The whole thing was brought together by an orange obi and a black haori with a yellow circle on the back with the red kanji for Muchitsujo of Chaos within it.
To say the least, it was all terribly clashing with colors. "Now this is true fashion," Discord praised with a grin as Hibana let out a breath of relief. "So, what are you here for?"
"Huh? Kami-Sama, I just said to show gratitude for saving my daughter?" Hibana answered uncertainly, worried her gift offended him after all.
"No, that's what you said the gift was for. But I can tell that there is more on your mind," Discord answered as he vanished the clothing for later. "You were certainly looking to leave an impression with a gift like that."
Hibana looked a bit sheepish for being realized but composed herself quickly. "When I originally had the idea, I intended to give it when I was with child again, in hopes that you would bless their birth."
"..." Discord froze at that. Bless a baby's birth? Him? Seriously? "I am the Kami of Chaos, Hibana-Chan. Do you really want Chaos blessing your infant?" he asked curiously.
Hibana just smiled, completely genuine. "Of course, Muchitsujo-Sama. What better way to protect them from what they are not ready for?"
Discord supposed that was one way to look at it. "Well, I can't wait to see what the next gift you bust out for that occasion will be, Hibana-Chan," he said with a merry smile as he turned to leave.
"Actually," she called, halting the God who glanced back as she rose. "You are correct. There is one last thing, if you'll indulge me, Kami-Sama."
Discord felt a growing grimness as he saw the seriousness upon her face. "I'm listening."
"I do not pretend that a kimono is in any way equal to saving my daughter's life. That said, the Hyuuga clan itself owes you a debt now. And with respect, being indebted to a God can be...intimidating," Hibana explained carefully. "To that end, as wife of the Clan Head, I wished to inquire about a proposal that has been discussed amongst my family and clan elders."
"Wait, I'm still catching up on all your culture's little nuances; is this the part where you offer me a maiden of your clan?" Discord asked playfully.
Discord blinked at Hibana's amused head tilt. "Well played, Ningen, well played," he admitted with a brief clap of his forelimbs before humming in interest. "What exactly do you mean by 'Yes' in this case?"
"Well, while this shrine of yours grows more and more every year, it doesn't have someone to actually attend it," Hibana answered with a smile. "If it is agreeable to you, we intend to arrange for a Hyuuga maiden, as you say, to be the Miko of your shrine."
Discord just stared at that, allowing his brain to reboot and process that word. "A Miko. A Shrine Maiden. A Priestess. For me?" he repeated curiously.
"Is there a problem, Muchitsujo-Sama?" Hibana asked in confusion.
"No, no. I've heard the term before in worlds with similar cultures to yours, buuuut most Miko don't have a shrine with a God as, shall we say, present as I am," he mused in interest.
"Neither do we in this world, Kami-Sama," Hibana assured with a hint of mirth in her voice.
"Then what would this entail, Hibana-Chan?" Discord asked, not having the context to make a good guess.
"Whatever you wish, I imagine, Muchitsujo-Sama," Hibana answered bluntly.
Discord truly let that sink in. This was going to be interesting if nothing else. "I imagine we'll all have to go in detail about this later, but I can be a patient God, Hibana-Chan. But I can't help wondering who your clan is considering?" Discord questioned before looking just a tad worried and annoyed. "It's not Hinata, right? Because I am not stealing my nephew's first princess."
"Not exactly, Muchitsujo-Sama," Hibana answered with a small smile, though confused by the word "first" by the God. "As I said, I originally intended the kimono to be an offering to bless my next child."
Discord watched the mother with a bewildered look before his eyes trailed down to her stomach. "...Hibana? What I'm about to say, stays between us," Discord stated firmly, getting an alarmed nod from Hibana. "I have a pretty good idea what you're trying to do here. So, I'm not saying no, but I'm not going to say yes just yet," he informed as he stroked his goatee.
Hibana sighed in relief. "Thank you, Kami-Sama. If I may?" she asked, gesturing to the exit. Getting a nod, she bowed deeply before leaving his shrine.
Discord crossing his arms in thought over what he had just heard. "I should probably talk to Minato and Kushina about this," he mused before looking up thoughtfully before his eyes lit up in delight at something in the bowel. "Oh, Dango! The Little Snakeling has been here~!"
"So, is a Miko is considered the bride of her Kami in this world or not?"
Kushina spewed out a stream of chewed meat while Minato nearly choked on his own meal; Discord quickly summoned an umbrella out of his head to shield himself from the projectile food from his own side of the booth. "Where the hell did that come from!?" Kushina demanded.
"Tomato-Chan, I hate being on this side of things, but you're making a scene," Discord pointed out as the umbrella sank back into his skull before glancing around the barbecue restaurant. Granted they had already been stealing glances at the Hokage family and the local deity, but Kushina's outburst had drawn a lot of startled stares.
She blushed crimson as she sat down in a huff, while five year old Naruto helped pat his father on the back. The Yondiame Hokage gasped in relief as the food finally went down. "You alright, Tou-San?!" Naruto asked in concern.
"Yes, thank you, Naruto," Minato said with a sheepish look before giving Discord a disapproving look. "Your uncle just picks these conversations in the strangest times and places."
"Guilty," Discord answered with a grin. "And I was just wondering. I have a shrine and all now, so I thought I should ask what I should expect on that front, if anything."
"Well, that's not exactly a subject of interest here," Kushina grumbled, still annoyed with Discord- and herself, for that matter. "Shinobi villages aren't the most...religious of places."
"Says the wife of the man that summoned the wrong god," Discord countered with amusement. "Still, I don't know what you're so upset about. Minato already told me about that Divine Bestiality thing."
Kushina glared at her husband, who looked away innocently. "What's bestiality?" Naruto asked innocently as he munched on meat on a stick.
"We'll tell you when you're older," all three of them answered in sync. Discord if only because he wasn't in the mood to deal with the human tendency to avoid any talk of sex, especially around children.
"Aww," Naruto pouted as he continued to munch more aggressively.
"In any case, each shrine has its own traditions and such, so I guess that would be up to you?" Minato answered uncertainly. "Are you...looking for a bride?"
"Oh, no. No, definitely not. But if that was an expectation, I'd at least be taking human form...I'd say more often, but it'd really be me taking human form at all," Discord said with a grin.
Naruto blinked, and their fellow customers once more were looking to their table in surprise. "You have a human form, Muchi-Oji?" he asked in surprise.
"Yes, Naru-Chan, he just never uses it," Kushina answered, her eye roll more amused than annoyed.
"As far as she knows, Ruto-Kun," Discord said with a wide, toothy grin.
"I'm choosing to ignore that for my own sanity," Minato said with a sigh.
"Speaking of ladies though, how are things going between you and your little pet princess?" Discord asked teasingly.
"Hinata isn't a pet," Naruto retorted in confusion.
"With the way she follows you around, it might seem otherwise," Discord pointed out with a chuckle.
"Muchi-Dono, we've talked about you corrupting Naru-Chan," Kushina scolded warningly.
"Says the mother that's expecting him to have a harem," Discord countered with a victorious smirk.
"What's a harem and why do I want one?" Naruto asked with a head tilt, eliciting some laughs from around the room.
"Oi, stay out of this!" Kushina yelled out while glaring at the customers.
"Everyone, man and woman, fantasizes about having one eventually, Ruto-Kun," Discord said sagely.
"Don't tell him that," Minato requested with a sigh as he rubbed his eyes.
"Oh like you two haven't imagined the other treating you to a day of fun with Shadow Clones," Discord accused flatly. Both parents stiffened, glancing at one another before looking away quickly with faint blushes. "There, you both have an easy birthday present figured out for the other."
"Grownups are weird," Naruto decided without a care.
"Thank you, Ruto-Kun, I'll take that as a compliment!" Discord said proudly, hand over his chest.
Naruto chuckled. "You're the king of weird, Muchi-Oji."
"Crowned and certified," Discord added on, a paper crown appearing on his head. "But, seriously, how are things going with Little Nata? Her old man still a stick in the mud?"
"Yeah. I mean, he's not mean to me or anything, but he can be really hard on Hinata-Chan," Naruto answered with a grumble before grinning. "But I did make friends with her brother."
"...I'm sorry, what? Hiashi has a boy?" Discord asked in surprise as he scratched his chin. "I thought I would have recalled that."
"No, it's, um, complicated," Naruto paused as he tried to remember how to explain it.
"He means Hinata's cousin," Kushina supplied with an amused look at her son. "Their fathers are twins, so genetically, they're basically siblings."
"Oh. That's a thing here? Huh," Discord noted with a shrug. "Well, what's he like?"
"He's nice. Kind of...not shy, but...awkward, I guess?" Naruto answered with a shrug. "He's a year older than us and getting ready to go to the academy in a year or two."
"Didn't Silverboy graduate at like, what? Five?" Discord asked curiously.
"Hehe, Kaka-Niisan is cool," Naruto said with a wide grin.
"You're just saying that because you like his puppies," Discord remarked knowingly.
"That was during a war. I'd rather not rob children of their childhood during peace times," Minato countered pointedly
"I normally frown on education systems, but a place to teach kids to be magic ninjas is too amusing," Discord said with a laugh.
"Oh, and he really doesn't like Sasuke," Naruto added on thoughtfully.
"Fuga and Koto's younger brat?" Discord recalled before a look of bored realization came along. "Oh, right, the old rivalry of the Eye-clans."
"I love that you call them that," Kushina admitted with a grin.
"Why do you sound more disappointed in them by having Doujutsus than anything else, Muchitsujo-Sama?" Minato asked blandly.
"Because it's sooooo expected. Honestly, couldn't it have been the Inuzuka and Aburames? You know the clan of bug users had to have used fleas on the dog-clan at least once back before the ninja villages were founded," Discord pointed out.
"That would explain why their clan homes were on opposite sides of the village in the old days," Kushina pondered to herself.
Minato sighed briefly before looking curious. "That reminds me, though. Muchitsujo-Sama? Would you have anything to do with a child having his hands switched?" Minato asked with a raised eyebrow.
Discord looked owlish at that. "Huh, that was fast," he murmured.
"Hehe, someone got caught," Naruto said with a snickering grin.
"Naru-Chan, what are you talking about?" Kushina asked with a scolding look.
"Muchi-Oji found out some kids have been stealing from his shrine bowl, so he put a curse on it. The hand switching thing was my idea," Naruto said with a grin.
Kushina kept her stern look on her son before grinning proudly. "That's my clever little prankster," Kushina gushed as she tickled his stomach.
"K-kaa-San, not in front of everyone!" Naruto protested between laughs.
Discord and Minato shared amused looks at the redhead's antics. "So, yeah. I put that on today. I was going to tell you later, and ask on your opinion on how to get out the warning: drop fliers across the village so parents know if their children have been naughty, put my own little section in the newspaper, or go classic and just put up a warning sign no one will believe at first?" he asked cheekily.
"How about word of mouth, since you basically told everyone here?" Minato pointed out with a dry smirk, jabbing a thumb around them.
Discord looked around as if he had forgotten they were in public. "Oh, right. For the record, people? Children will not stick like this forever. The curse lasts a day and half, or until the kiddos return the goods. But feel free to tell them otherwise if you want to scare their pants off," Discord informed to the mass of people.
"Good. Because that boy was the son of Tsume Inuzuka, and she can be a bit...well, I suppose you'd say a Mama Wolf?" Minato tried with a shrug.
Discord rose an eyebrow. "Minato, I'm being completely serious when I ask this: has it evolved into a curse word here yet, or is there some other reason we can't call her Mama Bitch?"
Naruto, having returned to his food, snorted so hard in laughter that hot sauce came out his nose.
"Owowowowowowowow!" the blonde hissed in pain.
Kushina snickered at the display, her laughter making her unable to soothe her son, while Minato face palmed.
Discord taking a picture did nothing to help any of them.
End of Chapter
Annnd there's yet another chapter and a strangely wholesome one. Not sure when the next timeskip will be, as this seems like a good time for stuff to happen.
So, yeah, Discord might be getting a Miko and it might just be Hanabi. Oh, and Discord got a shrine. Yay!
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