"So, where should we dine tonight?" Stephen Strange announced loudly to Cape as he struggled to open the crammed kitchen drawer of takeaway flyers. It was jammed and Cape had to help him yank it open with a corner. This was a mistake as it was so crammed full of paper that the force they were using suddenly made the contents shoot out in a tsunami of advertisements; noodle bars, sushi houses, curry shops, street stalls, massage parlours, 'clubs' and a black market trader who could deliver roasted exotic animals like bonobo to your door as long as you had enough money and were prepared have sex with his nymphomaniacle sister before she would hand it over. The Doc and Cape were forced back against the wall by the wave of pamphlets. They slid down it in a heap as Cape's collar flapped at his shoulders and the flyers fell on top of them.
"You know…" said a muffled voice and an arm suddenly appeared out of the three foot pile and swept the top four inches away. "…This is why I hate living in this part of Singapore…" He picked up a leaflet and observed "China Cho's Choptix Chuk" menu with an unimpressed look on his face. "… everyone's family owns a food business and even though places like China are in the neighbourhood all they seem to do is look to America for how to do their food… I don't even thing Xing Ping has heard of General Chow's Chicken… Urgh, pseudo culture, pseudo milk, pseudo meat…. Life is just becoming a pseudoist haven." He threw the flyer away as Cape lifted him above the sea of paper and lowered him onto the floor. It started semaphoring in the mirror.
"Yeah…. Yeah, I think we should go out of the city too. How about we fly to the USA. At least then I can get a decent steak that isn't pretending to be anything other than GM crop fed and riddled with antibiotics." Cape agreed with him and was about to fly him off when it noticed the shit stain on Stephen's pants (the shock of the drawer explosion had taken him by fright and he had shat himself. He swore loudly and went to change into another robe. Afterwards Cape lovingly wrapped himself back around Doctor Strange's shoulders, stroked his face a bit which made him blush and then flew him across the Pacific Ocean, passing over prairie land, secret nuclear silos and a destroyed city on the coast. They landed on the East coast and went to a eat in a place called The Iceberg Lounge. Doctor Strange used his magic powers to change the dimensions around them so that they had total privacy from some of the dodgy looking clientele that frequented the place. Like the gimp in bondage gear singing on stage, or the two weird red and blue glad guess sat in a corner setting fire to table menus and making frost appear along the table cloth while they tried to steal the purse from the woman on the next table. (She had her head in her hands as the man with her had an argument with himself over a coin.)
Cape floated in the chair opposite so that it could talk to the Doc by using its collar for Semaphore and talk with him on their dinner date. Stephen was slowly discovering just how much of a sense of humour Cape had after a thousand years of existence. Sure it took a while for the conversation to move on as their method of communication was slow but it was always worth it. Stephen had never met anyone he got on so well with. Though the fact it was a wise old relic and not a human, the Doc had to admit said a lot about himself.
"I do not have a cute jawline." Doctor Strange mumbled and tried not to blush. Cape argued that he did and floated forward slightly to flick its collar against Stephen's cheek. The breath caught in his throat as he tried to swallow the beefy 30 oz steak (All that magic really did give him an appetite.) . He half closed his eyes at he touch of Cape's velvet when he felt it freeze in motion and suddenly shoot forwards towards Stephen and swirl back round his shoulders in panic whipping the steak, sauce, root beer and everything else into Doctor Strange's lap.
"HEY HEY HEY! What's wrong? " he cried standing up and dropping all the tableware and food onto the floor to reveal a huge white patch of ranch dressing over his crotch. He cringed and sighed. Then he noticed that the dimension bubble had popped and the bar was emptying while people yelled and Stephen felt something disturbing his magic ability. He ran out of the lounge with Cape hanging on for dear life. Outside in Gotham there was chaos and smoke everywhere. He put a protective head bubble around himself (and a dimension shield over his groin so that nobody could see the mess… indeed nobody could see anything as the dimension shield was actually a tiny black hole that worked on the principal of absorbing all the light nearby so that nothing could illuminate the mess. He essentially looked like he had a black Ghastly attached to his cock area.) Crooks were running out of the banks, bars and nightclubs with sacks of money and hookers to fuel their criminal empires.
"I know Cape… something's in the air and it's not right." He cried. They flew above the scene trying to figure out what to do first. It was then that he saw a burning mass fall from the sky on the outskirts of the town. It looked like a spaceship crash landing.
"I think we have visitors." Cape flapped its collar in positive response. "But first we need to catch these guys" H e turned back to the scene and made a lasso out of magic which he threw towards a bank robber and pulled tight. The guy barfed all over the sack he just dropped as the magic pulled tight along his body like someone squeezing lube from a tube. Which obviously push out more than just today's lunch; he'd been constipated for the last four months and the magical tie started to squeeze the boulder out of him. He screamed as his anus started to crown the bowling ball of turd that was being birthed. Stephen stopped halfway so that it became lodged in the sphincter, thinking that once this was over the guy good pay him for surgical removal as Doctor Strange really could do with money. Plus the crook couldn't exactly run away in his condition. Strange and Cape turned to go after a woman trying to mug a Hell's Angel when a smoke grenade deployed beneath them and they lost all focus. They couldn't figure out what was up or down. Cape started to panic and got himself into a flap. Stephen grabbed its corners as they went into a frenzy and tried to hold them tight around him.
"CALM DOWN MAN!" He tried to say soothingly but the noises down below drowned him out. And then something flapping and leathery hit him in the face. He started to fall with Cape beneath him as he tried to do a magic move. All he saw before he blacked out with the sudden change in g-force from the collision was a small black animal with a human in a black cape suspended from it by a rope…