(Quick pictures of scenes from Star Wars movies are shown. Cue theme.)
Narrator: "Star Wars. The franchise that defined a new era of sci-fi storytelling, a beloved series of films and an amazing cast of charaacters..."
(Record stops. Scene where Cuke (Larry) meets Emperor Pulpatine is shown.)
Pulpatine: "What's good, homeboy?"
(Cuke looks at Pulpatine.)
Narrator: "...This is not that movie series."
(Cue "Ballroom Blitz" by The Sweet.
Camera cuts to various scenes such as the Ewoks dancing, Archie-p0 and R2 running, Uncle Owen approaching Cuke, Cuke with his face plastered against the windshield of the Millenium Falcon in hyperspace, and Cuke, Bob, Obi, R2, Chewie and Arch emerging with weapons. They beat up a ton of Stormtroopers.)
Narrator: "Veggietales: Star
Wars..It's an epic story of romance..."
(Camera cuts to Bob (Han Solo) and Leia (Madame Blueberry) sharing a kiss.)
Chewie: "(growls, subtitled 'GET A
Narrator: "No pants..."
(Scene where a blinded Bob pulls out his gun. His belt comes undone and his pants fall down.)
Bob: "...Somebody turn up the A/C or somethin'?"
(Scenes of Cuke practicing Kung fu,
Bob and Leia exploring, and Cuke and Obi-Wan walking the
Narrator: "And a whole lotta comedy..."
(Various scenes are shown such as Leia choking Jabba (Apollo Gourd), an Ewok shoving an apple in Bob's mouth, and Lando (Henry the Potato) and Nein Nunb (a random pea) shooting at TIE fighters. Cuke
gets a blow dart shot at his rump.
He groans, then sways around,
singing "Private Dancer" while holding a stick as a mic.)
I'm your...priiiivate dancer, A dancer for money, ya-da-da-da da, da-da-da..."
Obi-Wan: "But are you prepared for the tests, the exploring, the beauty, the trials of fate, the adventures, the life lessons, the scariness..."
(Scenes of Uncle Owen arguing with Cuke, Cuke staring out at the sun (so hard his eyes sizzle), and Bob kissing Leia.)
Obi-Wan: "(loudly)...ARE YOU PREPARED TO DO MY LAUNDRY?!"
(Cuke looks at the camera.)
"The Stars ain't the only Wars!"
(In swampy water, Archie-p0 is floating on top, holding a pink umbrella and taking pictures.)
Archie-p0: "(sighs) Oh, I do love this planet. Such new, fascinating and rare species."
(Archie-p0 takes pictures of the environment. Bob's face cringes a little.)
Bob: "I think some of those "new species" went UP MY UNDERPAAAAAANTS!"