A/N: Crack-Fic! If you'd like to beta this story, you can contact me via PM.

Warning: I do not condone the abuse of drugs and everybody is responsible for him/herself. This is supposed to be a stoner comedy/parody of the Harry Potter universe. If you don't like it, try a different story.

Warning2: If you are a particularly sensitive person, I don't know what you are doing here. If you want to read ahead against your better judgment, I can't help you. This story contains (mention of) slash(both genders), incest, possibly child abuse, inter(magical)species intercourse, and animal abuse(so far!). Consider yourself warned, the list is only getting longer from here!

Warning3: In fact, if you go ahead and read, keep an open mind, allow for every angle of humor, and take the entire thing with a shaker of salt. If you can do that, you'll have fun here.

Super Serious Side Scripture: I had writer's block for a while before finishing this chapter so stuff might be a bit OOC in the middle as I get back into the story. I hope the humor is on par, once we get to the end.

Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it's not mine. If it were, I would be rich. I'm not, so screw this.

Harry opened his bleary eyes, his head was killing him. Surrounding him was a mound of flesh on each side. Naked bodies belonging to sleeping girls stacked around him. He succeeded in staggering to his feet without stepping on someone and saw that the display of carnal lust wasn't over beyond those mounds.

The entire Headboy/girl suite was completely draped in flesh. Every inch of ground was covered in naked bodies. It looked like every girl their year and over (and under, in some cases) had joined the fun at some point last night. There were even some girls Harry didn't recognize. That he had never even seen before.

Spotting Luna in a pile to his right he tiptoed his way over to her. Giving her arm a light shake, Harry whispered her name loudly.

"Luna... Luna wake up…"

"No, Harry not again, give me a break."

She turned to the girl on her right, who happened to be Hermione, and buried her face in the ample bosom before her. Hermione giggled for a second and then continued to snore cutely.

Someone, somewhere downstairs in the common area gave a labored grunt. Harry snuck over to the door, to see what had happened. He saw Neville downstairs, in the same state of undress that he just noticed himself to be.


"Harry? Please tell me you brewed the Anti-Hangover-Potion already."

"The what?"

Neville shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Never mind."

"Do you know what happened last night Nev? Why is every god damn girl in Hogwarts here… butt ass naked to boot?"

"Don't tell me you don't remember?"

Harry shook his head at him.

"Well grab us some clothes and weed and I'll tell you what I remember."

Harry turned to get to his closet and trunk but they had only been occupying this dorm, it wasn't his after all. Concentrating he conjured them a couple of pants and shirts. Enough so he could get inside his regular dorm.

He had just thrown Neville's down to him and stepped into his pants when a soft voice from behind startled him.

"Wotcher Harry, could you make me something to wear as well? It just has to hold up until I'm at the ministry."

Spinning around with widened eyes, Harry couldn't suppress a gasp.


His eyes wandered over her naked body, what he had to assume was her natural form.

"Looking good."

"Not looking so bad either there. Now about those clothes…"

Harry made a quick gesture, conjuring a brightly colored dress for her.

She had just slipped inside the garment when she brought her face close to his.

"Listen Harry…" He could feel her breath on his face. Her index fingers softly tapping an unheard rhythm on his chest.

"Remus knows that I was on guard duty in Hogwarts last night, but I'd rather not have him know that I was close to this little party…"

Her voice suddenly dropped in pitch and grew husky, as she brought her mouth closer to his ear.

"Much less that I was a part of it."

After a soft nibble on his earlobe, Tonks stood up straight. Harry had to suppress a shiver and felt tension grow in certain parts of his body. He swallowed hard before he answered.

"Ehhh...what party?"

"Good boy."

With a soft kiss and a wink, Tonks turned away and made her way across the floor with never seen before grace. That was until she ran headlong into the banister downstairs. Harry could hear her cursing until the door closed behind her.

Shaking his head in disbelief, Harry carefully made his way down to the door, where Neville was already waiting for him.

Ron Weasley woke and felt warm flesh pressed against his naked skin. Deciding to try and cope a feel, Ron reached around his mysterious guest. The frame was petite, and he managed to grab a well-developed breast.

He immediately pitched the world's smallest 'tent', with an impressive height of exactly three inches. The girl in question groaned slightly in her sleep. The roughness of his groping hand and the slight discomfort his hardness caused, paired with a steadily filling bladder, were slowly waking her up.

After a couple more minutes of this, she kicked the blankets away and Ron, trying to avoid awkward conversations, pretended to still be asleep.

As soon as he heard the click of the door closing, he quickly got up, grabbed his clothes from the floor, and fled the room. Outside he noticed that they had been in one of the private studies off of the Gryffindor Common room.

Wondering a little, as hard as he tried to remember, he couldn't recall any events of last night. Too bad, he had finally managed to score and now couldn't even remember it. He shrugged it off and made his way down to breakfast. All that physical exertion last night had made him hungry.

Harry and Neville had made their way into their dorm, where they had changed into fresh clothes and Harry had grabbed the appropriate amount of weed for two people on a Sunday morning. In other words, he was now carrying a solid half-pound of dope in his enlarged pockets, not counting the various edibles and odd paraphernalia he carried around all the time.

"So what DO you remember?"

Neville asked as they made their way down to breakfast. Harry kept on pulling on his shirt sleeves, which were now a couple of inches short.

"I remember the ritual, then we partied a bit and a couple more girls joined in on the fun."

Harry thought carefully for a while.

"I remember that someone brought a bottle of whiskey… that's about it."

Neville started laughing and clapped him on the shoulder.

"Dude, that's nothing, you deflorated half of Hogwarts' girls last night, well more or less. They were all willing and waiting in line until you were done. You brought a casket of whiskey to the table, even though I don't know where you got it from, and then you went ahead and drank about half of it yourself."

Neville stopped talking for a moment to munch on a brownie, hoping it would alleviate the drum concert in his temples.

"Then shit got even weirder and a couple of the older Slytherin girls joined the party. A couple of guys joined in as well, mostly Gryffindors, I think." Neville frowned, before continuing with a shrug. "Before anyone could blink some people had taken off their clothes and slowly everyone had joined in."

Harry wondered for a moment how the party could have escalated like that, but the combo of weed, alcohol, and teenage hormones probably explained it best. That, plus his quite unique position as the high Lord of Hogwarts.

"After everybody had stripped down and some dancing had turned into full-on touching..." Neville smirked. "...you announced that you would be brewing the best Anti-Hangover-Potion in the world. You took two of the Slytherin girls with you and went down to the dungeons...completely starkers."

Groaning a bit, Harry tried to hide in his cloak. He found a brownie in there that he quickly demolished.

"You returned half an hour later, with a sack of potion ingredients and even more girls from Slytherin. I asked where you'd gotten the ingredients from… and you told me that you had broken into Snape's office."

Harry groaned again. He made a mental note to avoid the dungeons in the near future.

"Now I don't know if you got to brew that potion last night, or if you even know how to brew it, but I could use some right now."

Clearing his throat, Neville continued while rubbing his aching head.

"Anyway, the party continued and the touching turned into more, and then it was an orgy. Some weird stuff happened, Susan had me pinned against the wall and had me watch her and Hannah go at it, some girls that were watching us decided to be nice to me. They took turns…" His face reddened and he ended in a mumble. "... that's about it, that's all I can remember."

They made the rest of the way down in comfortable silence, only broken when the odd follower told Harry how great his party had been or simply asked them for dope. Neville quickly did the math in his head.

"Dude, with the rate that you're gaining followers in, I'm going to need another suitcase greenhouse. Preferably sooner than later."

Turning the corner, they entered the great hall. Harry and Neville discussed the pros and cons of the various portable greenhouses they had seen over the summer, while they made their way over to the Gryffindor table. The house tables were suspiciously empty, especially a huge portion of the female populace (5th year and over) seemed to be missing from them.

The boys had hardly taken a seat and begun to pile their plates with food when Dean Thomas plopped into the seat next to them.

"God Harry, what a party! Only reason I am out of bed today at all is that potion you made us last night. Worked like a charm, man."

"You were there?" Harry asked him, while Neville grabbed Dean by his robes.

"Do you still have some of that stuff? Did you see what Harry put into it!?"

"Whoa there, calm down Neville."

Dean tried to pry the hands from his robes and quickly continued.

"Yeah, I still got some in my bag, man Harry used some empty bottles from the party to spread it around after he got no vials left."

The other boy's grip loosened.

"Sorry man, we… we got some holes in our memories you know."

Quickly pulling his robes from Neville, Dean snorted.

"Well small wonder, you two drank enough for an entire football team." He quickly poured them some potion under the table. "As for what went into it…" Dean shrugged. "... Harry made it so quickly, I hardly had time to finish on Padma, or was it Parvarti...?"

He frowned as he placed the potion-filled goblets in front of them.

Harry and Neville both grabbed theirs and looked at each other.

"Cheers!" They announced simultaneously.

It was like heaven. Their heads instantly cleared, as soon as the potion passed their throats. The headache faded away and all that remained was the warm mushy feeling the weed had left them with. That and the munchies.

After breakfast, Harry sheepishly sent Neville down into the dungeons to ask Severus what they had taken the night before and to pay him for the ingredients and materials. That and to analyse a small sample of what Harry had fixed the night before. He tried to hand his loyal follower a pouch that contained a small mountain of galleons.

Neville got a similar pouch from his book bag.

"Don't worry I'll take it from the business account."

They had built a small network of dealers that sold a portion of their harvest in the muggle world. A small portion, but it was a lucrative endeavor.

Upon leaving they bumped into Ron Weasley, who immediately was all over Harry.

"Harry! Thank you, man. So glad I was at your party last night. I was finally able to score!"

A couple of Hufflepuff second-year girls gave Ron a nasty look as they passed them, while one managed to wink at Harry seductively. After a small shudder, Harry's attention was back on Ron though.

"I finally managed to get laid. Sad thing I don't know who the lucky girl was, but I guess she will come to me after last night, eh?"

Neville and Harry shared a look that was more than just skepticism. It was downright pessimistic.

Turning to Ron, Harry cleared his throat.

"Well glad you had fun last night. I have to find Hermione now… Eh, later?"

Ron nodded and was off to find some food to stuff his face with. Harry looked into Neville's dumbstruck face and had to ask.

"Why do I have a mental picture of Ron screwing…"

"...a goat, you mean?"

Getting a nod in return, Neville continued.

"Well, because he did? I don't even know where he got it from, probably brought it in himself?"

Harry nodded. "Now that you're telling me, he did bring it in himself, don't know where he found it, and then sodomized the poor thing, because…"

"... he couldn't find the right hole." They both finished in unison and couldn't control their laughter anymore.

It took awhile for them to calm down enough to continue talking. Harry was still grinning.

"I hope he wasn't talking about that. That hardly counts as getting laid. Though, since most of the girls in Hogwarts saw him do it… he probably was."

Again they were laughing, it took them even longer to calm down this time. Then Neville went down to the dungeons to control the damage that Harry had caused, while the Lord in question went up to the head boy suite to check on the situation there. On his way, he was munching on his customary brownie, so by the time he crossed the doorstep, he was high and horny.

He found Hermione again amongst the mostly still sleeping girls and under his gentle ministrations she slowly woke and then got louder and louder. More girls woke and joined in on the fun. Harry was sure of two things at that moment. There was nothing better than to busy yourself on a Sunday morning, and it was so damn fine to be the Lord. Even better, a high Lord.

Ron had joined Dean in the great hall and together they ate their breakfast. Upon getting up to leave, Dean turned to Ron again.

"Hey, before I forget, Ginny gave me this letter for you."

Ron frowned and opened the letter.

Hey Ron,

Last night was truly special and I enjoyed every last bit of it. I very much hope we can repeat this soon, again and again, and maybe over the holidays as well.

You and I, we've fit perfectly and it's destiny we're together anyway. I don't know why we waited this long for it to happen, we should have done it much sooner. I lust for you since I've turned eleven, I had hoped you'd just take me, every night since then.

Now finally the time has come and you've taken my virginity. Tonight we will celebrate this accordingly. Take a shower maybe?

Sprinting after Dean, Ron lunged at him and the poor boy was once again gripped by the robes.

"Did she tell you who gave it to her?"

'What's it with these touchy-feely guys this morning?' Dean asked himself while he gave Ron a reply.

"No, she was just on her way back from the loo earlier and …"

But Ron didn't let him finish. He released Dean and was already on his way out the door, and left the other boy shaking his head.

"Better find Neville again and get some brownies from him… or else it's gonna be a long day."

Miles away in neither an ancient nor noble home (actually it was just some random ass empty house), the Dark Lord wasn't having such a pleasant morning.

He had taken refuge here, he just couldn't stand to stay at Malfoy Manor another day.

Every time Lucius glanced his way, every accidental touch, every time he kissed the hem of his robes and called him Master or my Lord made his stomach flutter, made him weak in the knees.

It frustrated him to no end. He had never felt the slightest inclination to sleep with a woman and certainly never had thought of sleeping with a man. Only once had he forced a boy from the orphanage, but that hadn't been about lust, sex or desire, it had been about power and domination. He'd done it, just because he could, because of the control he could exert over him like that. Or had he...

Voldemort was so deeply in thought that he didn't hear Wormtail enter his chamber at first.

"Master!" The man formerly known as Peter squealed overly loudly.

With a gasp, Tom Riddle flinched so hard, he almost dropped his wand as he spun around to curse Wormtail. It took him two tries to hit him with the Cruciatus Curse, his hand was shaking so badly.

Peter quickly got up from the floor, happy that the curse his master had sent his way wasn't quite as painful as it usually was.

"What is it Wormtail, what do you barge in here like that for? You… you better have a very good reason for that."

Cowering before his lord, Peter held out his hand clutching a poster sized piece of paper.

"My lord. This was dropped over Diagon Alley. Surely this is Dumbledore's doing, he's trying to discredit you in the public eye."

Snatching the item from his follower, he smoothed it out and couldn't believe what his eyes were seeing. He was sure that no one had a chance to take a picture like that. He and Lucius had been alone that night, not even Narcissa had been home.

Redness crept into the Dark Lord's face as he looked at the picture again. A redness that Peter mistook for anger and quickly fled the room.

It had been a pretty busy morning for Harry. All the exercise he had gotten in the tower once Hermione had been kissed awake.

After almost all of his followers had left, Harry had felt the need to stretch his legs a bit and went for a stroll on the grounds.

Hermione, Luna, and Daphne had all declined his invitation to join him, citing their need to get some more rest. Their exact words were: "Come on Harry, I'm sore, gimme a break!" Before rolling over in bed again.

Asking Neville to join him was equally declined. The Longbottom heir was busy stuffing various edibles into his pockets, citing the need to conduct field tests. His exact words were: "I need to see if my shit really gets the girls as horny as you said. I hope you were right!" Then he was busy filling his book bag with more edibles and condoms.

So Harry found himself alone outside, with nothing but a half-pound of weed, his favorite bong, a couple of brownies, several lollipops, some chocolates, and a blunt. Not a lot for a Sunday afternoon, but it had to do. Unwrapping a lollipop, he made his way to his favorite spot by the lake.

Lucius Malfoy was having an abysmal day. First the Goblins had contacted him and informed him of the cost that his Lord's extended stay had caused. He nearly had a heart attack on the spot. Draco would get cotton robes for next term. Silk was too impractical anyway.

Then Narcissa came home clutching half a dozen giant sheets of paper. Upon closer inspection it showed him and the Dark Lord, sharing a rather intimate moment. Having no other explanation, Lucius told her that these offending images had to be fake. He surely would have remembered sodomizing their Master, but Narcissa wasn't so easily appeased.

With their Masters rejection of her desirable body and the looks he had given Lucius, she was almost certain that these pictures hadn't been faked. Adding the fact that Lucius hadn't fucked her or even shown any kind of interest in her since the conception of Draco, made the necessary steps so much easier.

Since she had never formally been introduced into the ranks of Voldemort, she had no Dark Mark and was free to go. On her way home from Diagon Alley, she had paused at the Black Family Lawyer and gotten the necessary paperwork. Slapping it down in front of Lucius, Narcissa packed up her belongings and left Malfoy Manor for good.

So yeah, Lucius wasn't having such a good day in total. Especially since he now had the additional question to answer, whether his Lord had date-raped him or not.

Harry had demolished about half of his stash when a flash of red through the dense tree line of the forbidden forest caught his attention.

Intrigued he made his way there, munching on a brownie. The flash proved to be hair and as he got closer he was able to make out a girl behind one of the trees. She was tall, taller than any woman he had ever seen before, well except Madame Maxime of course.

For a moment he thought that she was riding on a horse with a red coat, but soon realized that her lower body was a horse with a red coat, matching her hair color.

He had to smirk, as a thought entered his mind unbidden.

'Well that's one way the carpet can match the drapes.'

Since he hadn't really tried to sneak, he stepped on a twig and alerted the female centaur to his presence.

Whirling around she leveled a drawn bow at him, arrow pointing at his forehead.

"Humans are no longer welcome inside our forest."

Her voice would have been sweet, but for the eternal winter it promised.

Looking around himself, Harry, despite his current state, noticed the tree line was still a couple of feet in front of him. He scratched his head.

"Well, I'm not exactly inside the forest. Now put that pointy thingy down, the… ah... what's it called again?"

She lowered the bow. Harry got his first good look at her, the arrow tip reserving what had been available at the time, and noticed that centaurs, regardless of their gender, would rather not wear clothes.

"You seem rather underprivileged, even for a human." She noted Harry staring at her chest and sighed. "It makes you no less a pervert it seems, the males warn us about you men. That our lack of clothing must seem to you like an invitation to take advantage of us."

She huffed before puffing out her chest and continuing.

"Clothing to us is abhorrent, so you best get used to my chest while we share this space that is neither our forest nor your grounds."

Munching on a brownie for most of her monologue, Harry came to the most logical conclusion, well for him anyway. Stuffing the remaining pastry into his mouth, he ground out.

"Youww wright…"

Tugging on his shirt and trying to get his shoes off, Harry had a hard time keeping his balance. The eyebrows of the centaur girl raised.

"What are you doing, human?"

Swallowing hard, Harry answered.

"You don't like clothing and that's okay. I just want us to be more comfortable."

He had finally gotten rid of his shirt and shoes, and was now unbuckling his belt. His pants joined the rest of his stuff on the ground. As his boxers slid past his knees, he heard a gasp from her.

Looking at her quizzically, she reluctantly gave a red-faced explanation.

"It's just… you're well-endowed... that's all. Well, for a human, I meant."

That was only half of the truth however, she had seen centaurs that had been smaller than this boy. Shocked, she felt the reflexive opening and closing of her hind lips, luckily her front was facing the human. 'Bad time to be in heat.'

But that was the reason why she had been on the edge of the forest in the first place. She had to be kept away from the Males, lest they couldn't control themselves at her smell. The females of their tribe had not deemed her ready for pregnancy yet.

Once more she cast a look over his body and again her body reacted to the sight. 'Better keep my tail-end away from him.' But she also noticed that his body was reacting to her as well.

Harry, in the meantime, held out a brownie for her to take.

"I'm Harry, What's your name?"

"Lydia." She answered him automatically. "But what in the hell is that?" Pointing at the brown spongy mass in his hand, that reminded her of a pile of particularly crumbly feces.

"It's a brownie, a pastry of sorts."

"That thing is edible?"

Carefully, Lydia took the offered 'food' from the naked human before her. She poked it, sniffed it and closely observed it, but found nothing wrong with the treat. With some trepidation she took a tiny piece and placed it in her mouth.

The effect it had was overwhelming. Her mouth watered immediately, there was nothing in the forest, except maybe honey, that had such a strong, sweet taste. Lydia knew that the males often used honey to woo females, as harvesting the hives in the forest was terrible work.

And here was that human, gifting her with this delicious treat, like it was nothing. Or did he expect something in return? Her tail was lashing out nervously. Quick! She had to decline his offering. But... her hands were already empty, the traitorous appendages had fed her the delicacy while she had been in thought.

There were only two things the empty-handed, bare chested Lydia could offer up in return. She was definitely not ready to sacrifice her purity for a treat, so she picked the only other option available.

Holding out her bow and quiver to him, she quickly recited the customary words.

"To repay your kindness, take this gift from me."

Laughing, Harry declined.

"Quite alright, it was just a brownie. Want another?"

'No!' She screamed in her mind, but her mouth was quicker.


He bent down and stuck his arm into his pants pocket and produced a variety of edibles.

"I got more brownies, but I also have some other stuff you might like."

Lydia had a hard time choosing from the hands that were held out to her. There were the crumbly sweet things he called 'brownies' and then there were rectangles wrapped in silver and a ball that had a stick protruding from it.

"Brownies, Chocolates, and Lollipops…" Harry said, pointing to each item as his hand passed it. "... you can try all of them if you like. The Lollipops might be a bit strong however."

'Strong?' The centaur girl was confused. Would they be even sweeter than the crumbly treat? With a shaky hand, she took one of the balls on a stick. The clear wrapping alone was awe-inspiring. To her surprise, in total contradiction to the brownie, this treat was hard.

"If I try to chew this, my teeth might crack, how do you eat this?"

"You lick it." Harry had unwrapped one himself and demonstrated it to her.

The first lick was a major revelation, it was sweeter than the brownie, but at the same time it was sour. What she didn't notice, not yet anyways, was that the weed laden brownie slowly did its magic on her system. Centaurs knew the hemp plant and their shamans knew of its psychoactive effects, using it in some ceremonies.

She was no shaman, so in other words, she had no immunity against its effects whatsoever.

In the Head Boy Suite, the girls had slowly woken up. Daphne raced to use the Bathroom, while Hermione was rubbing her eyes in bed. Luna, however, went over to the window facing the forest, opened it, and screamed at the top of her lungs.


Seeing the flabbergasted look on Hermione's face, she shrugged.

"Harry's in the forest."

"What's he doing in there!?"

"Getting the centaurs to join him. Well the females first, probably…"

Daphne was shaking her head as she entered the room again.

"Harry's stamina sure is something else."

Hermione was gingerly rubbing her crotch, wincing at the touch.

"You tell me about it."

Luna was doing a couple of stretches.

"He wears out my coochie faster than exercise can tighten it."

Looking at the other two, Daphne had an idea.

"Surely, in all those centuries past, even though wizarding society is a bunch of prudes, …"

Getting where she was going with her line of thought, Hermione finished the sentence.

"... some Witch must have found a solution to this. Of course..., but where would we find such knowledge in Hogwarts?"

Both turned to look expectantly at Luna, but the petite blonde was already at the door. Daphne called after her.

"Luna, where are you going?"

"I'm borrowing some of Harry's things. A bong, some weed and his invisibility cloak, since you're going to ask anyways."

Hermione was confused. "What do we need his cloak for?"

The younger girl smirked over her shoulder at them.

"Because we're going to go to the restricted part of the Restricted Section."

As noon turned to afternoon, Ron grew desperate and it only grew worse as time ticked closer to the evening hours.

He had looked for his sister Ginny everywhere, even in the diverse girls restrooms in the school, much to the dismay of the occupants at the time.

Trying to find Hermione, whom he secretly hoped the note was from, or Harry, who could have helped him search, proved equally disappointing.

As he entered their dorm that afternoon, he suddenly was very certain that he must still be asleep and dreaming, as he saw a naked Luna Lovegood ruffling through Harry's things.

Turning on his heel, he vowed to find some of that potion that had been mentioned last night. His head wasn't as clear as he had hoped, it seemed.

Too bad, since Luna could have told him where Harry and Hermione were, or Ginny for that matter. Since he didn't ask, Luna just smirked as she found the things she had been looking for.

Harry marveled at the effects the first high was having on the centaur girl before him. Over the course of their conversation, she had gone from pointing her bow at him, to being quite sociable, to asking if he wanted to watch her pee.

Having to admit that he was quite curious about centaur anatomy, he had agreed. Lydia had flushed a bit and bit her lip as she turned to give him a better view. It was an eye opening experience as Harry watched attentively, but it left him curious again.

"Lydia, that was quite a view, but if you don't mind me asking, are your privates always this… talkative?"

The question was accompanied by a wink. She blushed even worse.

"No, only when I'm in heat." Her voice had dropped in pitch. "D… do you like it?"

Grinning, Harry lifted both thumbs. His voice was a drawl, with a hard to place accent.

"It's very niice!"

His quip was immediately requited by a shout from the castle. Harry could hear Luna shouting at him, that no one would get that reference for the next decade. Truth being told, sometimes Harry was so high, he had trouble telling which century he was in. Much less what decade inside that century.

Still beet red in the face, Lydia had flinched at the sudden shout from the castle. Harry laughed.

"Don't worry, that was just a friend from the castle. She knows stuff, like clairvoyance levels of knowing really."

Harry shrugged it off, but Lydia could feel the power emanating from him now. If that was the level he casually put out, maybe he would allow her to become a powerful member in her group.

Centaur females had no magic power level on their own while virgins. It was decided by the level of their first mate.

"Harry, would you like to go on a walk with me?"

The human in question grinned.

"Sure. So Lydia, do centaurs have a concept of what a Lord is?"

Albus Dumbledore was inside his office, trying to use the Sunday to relax. He was currently looking at a stack of magical photographs. They were quite old, from a time when he had been Gryffindor head of house and had celebrated their quidditch win in the showers with them. Back then, the teams had still been all male, and no one had asked awkward questions about the teacher and his camera.

Placing the last photograph down, he reminisced about those strapping lads. He was quite sorry that certain things didn't work anymore at his age. But he still had his mind and it was the same as in all those years.

Closing his eyes, he drifted off into a fantasy, only to be jerked back to reality a moment later. A wave of magic had rolled over the school, seemingly from the forest.

Dumbledore's senses were on high alert. He spent the following quarter of an hour trying to feel anything happening on his grounds. He had just settled down and relaxed again, when it all repeated.

This happened again and again that afternoon, he stopped counting after the tenth. Each wave that hit them was stronger than the one before it.

Ron Weasely had officially given up on his search for the day. Entering his dorm, he headed for the showers. Just in case his secret lover would return for the night.

After his shower, he noticed that someone had closed the curtains on his bed. He sneaked closer, only wearing his towel around his hips.

Throwing open the curtains revealed a girl laying on his bed. Clad in the barest minimum of silk and lace. Immediately Ron felt a reaction to the sight, his towel completing the slightest upward motion visible to the naked eye.

Startled by the sound of the curtains, the girl turned her head. Ron immediately scrambled backwards screaming. He lost his towel, stumbled over his feet and landed on his back, right on Harry's bed.

Ginny was by her brother's side in an instance.

"Oh, Ron are you alright? I didn't want to scare you."

The boy in question couldn't answer, only stare at his barely clad sister with wide eyes. Slowly his mouth got the hang of speaking again.

"Wh… Wha… What… the… f… fuck… is going… on here?"

Ginny stared at him worriedly.

"After last night and the note I gave Dean for you this morning, I thought it was pretty clear. Did you hit your head?"

Noticing his reaction to her lingerie, she couldn't help a quip.

"At least your little friend remembers me."

Upon feeling his sister's gentle touch on his manhood, Ron's eyes threatened to pop out of their sockets. With a scream, he scooted away from her. Sitting at the headboard of the bed, his knees drawn to his chest, Ron gently rocked back and forth.

Ginny was frustrated.

"What is it with you all of the sudden!? Last night you were perfectly capable of taking my virginity…" Ron's rocking intensified. "... and now you're acting all weird. You do know that it's family tradition anyway, don't you."

The rocking stopped for a moment, his wide eyes focusing on her. Ginny continued with a sigh.

"The youngest son is to marry one of his sisters. That's to keep the family magic alive. Dad had no sisters, so he had to marry his cousin. Did you think they had eight children just for the fun of it? No they had to conceive me, so we could carry on the tradition."

Ron wanted to shout at her, that there was no tradition, but something she had said unearthed a memory.

"Oh god! Ginny, I don't think we have to do this!"

Rolling her eyes at him, She pulled him off the bed, over to his own.

"I showed you the truth of the Weasley magic last night. I can do so again."

She started to strip what little she had on.

"It's meant to be Ron. I watched the other guys at the party last night and I can't be with any other man but you. My parts are just too short and tight for any other man to have sex with me. It's destiny."

What she'd just said took a moment to connect in Ron's befuddled brain.

"Wait, What..."

Ginny placed her finger on his mouth.


With a wave of her wand the curtains around the bed closed.

AN: I hope I haven't aggravated too many delicate sensibilities, but in a world where drinking Pepsi from a Coca-Cola Brand glass gets people frowning at you, it's probably inevitable. Still I will heed no taboos for this story.

If fictional people having sex with fictional animals, halfbreeds(that're equally fictional), or siblings( of fictional people are fictional as well, duh!) triggers you especially bad, and you want to tell my so, you can always leave a review. I just hope that we can keep our discourse on a friendly and reasonable level.

If you can keep fiction and reality apart and get a kick out of the escalating path this story takes, you can tell me as well.