Hello! This week's episode was incredible and it totally left me undone. I want the finale so badly, but I don't want it to end at the same time...I believe I'll be in mourning forever.
Soo, this idea came to me a month ago and I thought it could have been funny to write and hopefully to read.
As usual, enjoy!
The unusually low heels of a pair of stilettos click on the wooden floor of the D.A.'s offices during a snowy day.
Donna moves a bunch of red locks behind her ear and makes her way to her former colleague's desk.
Her gait is solemn yet sprawling, one foot lands heavily in front of another.
She lets herself place her hand on her back to try and balance the additional weight that's been torturing her.
Maybe those shoes should have been thrown away months ago, but they are an integral part of her persona — something that goes along with her attitude — and with everything else changing, she has decided to stick with them as long as possible.
Truth to be told, she hasn't exactly been feeling herself lately, affected by the ultimate events of her life.
Feeling a strong kick right to her bladder, she prays god that she doesn't pee her pants while she pays a visit to the man who's been giving her the headaches.
Looking around at familiar and not so familiar faces, Donna realizes how much time has passed since she'd stopped working there.
Now she's not a newbie secretary that makes some copies for her new boss, but the COO of a prestigious firm, ready to stand up for the future father of her child (who also happens to be her ex-boss).
It's almost funny how things have turned out.
Sure, finding out that Harvey was able to knock her up instantly was a shock, but this has been fifteen years in the making and she wouldn't change a single thing.
Plus, they haven't exactly been careful, so the pregnancy was probably wanted in their subconscious.
She pulls herself together, putting her brave face on, and storms into the office — ready to deliver her speech.
Yet, his presence alone triggers something into her, and she finds herself on the offensive.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" She asks Andrew Malik, coming to stand in front of his desk.
"Donna, what a pleasant surprise! What brings you here?" He shifts into his chair and unbuttons his vest.
A cocky smile spreads across his face and that tells her he's not taking her seriously.
"Alright, why don't we skip the small talk and get to the point?" She's already dead tired of the situation. She should be enjoying the last couple of weeks of her pregnancy, instead of worrying about prison.
"Wow, I suppose your condition makes you quite cranky." Malik says, hoping to hit a nerve and make everything else she was going to say unreasonable.
"Oh believe me, it's not my condition. It's your smug face." She doesn't give him the satisfaction of getting under her skin, even if part of her believes he's not wrong all along the line.
She's aware of the fact that him is the one thing putting her at unease, not her hormones, but she would lie if she didn't think that she's fighting more fervently to protect her family.
Plus, she had already wondered if carrying a baby could obstruct her judgement.
That's why his words don't exactly roll off her back.
"Did you come here just to assault me?" His expression is faking indignation.
"Oh no. I'm here to tell you to end this thing." The woman declares, switching her purse from the left to the right hand.
She crosses her feet one in front of another, the process testing if they're still there.
"And why would I do that?" He sends the ball in her court and she takes it right away.
"Because you have already gone after Harvey two times, haven't you learned the lesson?" This time is her turn to press exactly where it hurts.
After all, this is what she does. She understands people and finds a way to get to them. And she's come to know Malik pretty well.
"I don't need to learn a shit." He rises his voice coming to stand up. "And I'm gonna tell you something else, this time I'm coming right after him and I have proof. I don't think the dear Harvey will get off the hook that easily." His nervousness causes the vein on his neck to throb.
"You are just pathetic. You want to prove you can beat him so badly?" She scoffs, shaking her head.
"Let me be clear on this, I'm not doing it for revenge. I'm doing it because that man acts like he doesn't give a shit how he obtains what he wants. I'm doing it because it's right." Perhaps the conversation is getting too heated, because she feels a little overwhelmed by it.
It's just like something is definitely different, but the reason it's quite difficult to address.
But she isn't stopping now for sure.
"Bullshit, it's because you can't accept that he is better than you.
Sounds to me like you're the one who engages questionable ways to get what he wants!"
Donna has always hated this kind of people.
The ones who hide themselves under false motivations and pass themselves off as champions, when they are looking after their interests.
Sure, she can't say that Harvey has always operated legally, but she knows that he has always had the best intentions at heart.
"Sounds to me like you're the one who's going to loose her leverage and doesn't accept it." He accuses.
"What did you just say to me?" She can't believe that after all this time he has the nerve to bring that up again.
"I'm saying you have been clever. Not only you have gotten him to acknowledge years of late night hours services, but you trapped him with a kid."
When that wouldn't have affected her so much in the past, now it does.
It really does.
It's probably the fact that this time they really are together in that way, but it hasn't exactly been easy for them to get there.
And while Donna knows that she and Harvey have let themselves love each other for real only recently, she understands that people are more inclined to believe in a sexual relationship with benefits going on for a long time.
Harvey had told her not to care about the other's judgment, and she had all the reasons to listen.
Yet, she can't stand the idea of her pure and innocent baby to be smeared with those dirty insinuations.
"How dare you? You know nothing about me and Harvey, so you better keep your damn mouth shut and stop insinuating these deplorable things." Rage has overcome and her body follows the process. "Next time you say something about my kid again, I'm going to hurt you in a way that has no yet been invented!"
Nostrils widen, building vertical wrinkles from the sides of the nose towards the mouth.
Her chest rises and falls heavily and her finger points at him menacingly.
"Keep the threatens for yourself. Harvey is going down, this time for real." The harshness of the promise gives her the need to reach her belly, wanting to protect the little life growing inside of her. "I don't see him coming to ballet recitals anytime soon, but maybe you can send a tape to the prison."
What follows next is complete silence.
The room falls back into stillness.
"I can't believe it," he exclaims incredulously. "I managed to shut down the mighty Donna Paulsen."
At the second lack of repartee, he senses that maybe he's gone too far.
"Donna?" He tries to get her attention.
The redhead who was looking him dead in the eyes has now her gaze fixated to the ground.
"Ok, you're scaring me," He starts to grow anxious as he rounds his desk to approach to her. "Say something."
When he comes to stand near enough, Donna finally lifts her head.
Red locks still cascading in front of her face, her eyes are on alert and hold her surprise.
The words that finally come out of her mouth are nothing like the ones he expected.
"I think my water just broke." She whispers as they eye the pool of liquid at their feet.
They both stare at the amniotic fluids, neither of the two knowing how to act.
On one hand, the soon-to-be mother knows she should collect herself and reach the nearest hospital, on the other, Andrew Malik is completely petrified, his mind not registering what his eyes see.
"Oh my," it's all he can get out of his mouth.
Not sure how to behave, he instinctively grabs her by the elbows, lifting her arms and letting her lean on him.
The State's Attorney backs the COO towards the couch and helps her to gently sit down, his eyes never leaving hers.
"I don't understand, it shouldn't be happening now." She murmurs disoriented.
She's not due for another two weeks and she needs those two weeks like air.
No one is really ready to become a parent and she certainly won't be the exception, but a little heads up would have been nice.
She has always hated being blindsided and history tells her that Harvey does just as much, but it doesn't change anything.
Her body is ready to have this baby, whether she likes it or not.
What she doesn't like is the fact that the one who's there with her is Andrew Malik.
She has to get out of that place.
"Well, you need to go to the hospital. I'm calling an ambulance." He anticipates her.
She believes that's the first smart thing he's said since she's gotten there.
She just nods, as he grabs the phone and digitates quickly the requisite numbers.
He glances at her one last time before someone picks up the call.
"911, what's the emergency?" A voice says from the speaker.
"Hi, there's a pregnant woman here, her water have just broken." He taps the device nervously.
"I see, how far along is she?" The operator asks politely.
"I...I don't know. I think-" He stumbles while calculating the right amount of time, when she intervenes.
"Two weeks pre-term." She answers shouting.
"Ok, have you had any contractions yet?"
"No, but I cannot wait here until they are five minutes apart." Donna informs them.
"We're at the D.A.'s Office, I can't drive her there and I don't think a taxi is appropriate. We need an ambulance." Andy tells them.
"Sir, I'm afraid that's not possible.
At this point Donna snaps her fingers to get her companion's attention and motions him to hand her the phone.
"Alright, what's your name?" She asks to the man on the other end of the line.
"Listen, Cooper, I understand that you probably have more urgent cases to handle and that an ambulance for something that happens since time began is not worth it.
But I will not give birth to my child in this office, so you better get your fucking ass here."
Andrew doesn't know if he's more scared or amazed by the woman's words, but either way he's glad she's taken the lead.
The thought of having to deal with that situation more than necessary terrifies him.
"Ma'am, it's not up to me. There's a snow blizzard out there, vehicles can't be driven."
She mouths a what and starts to get up to look outside the window.
"Are you sure you can move?" Malik jumps at her movement.
"Don't worry, the baby is not making its way out between my legs just yet." She mocks him, gesturing at her belly.
As they look at the street, their eyes are grazed with a field of white snow that covers the busy city.
It seems like they will have to enjoy each other's company for little longer after all.
Two hours later Donna is into full labor.
Her heels have been discarded after a good thirty minutes and her hair have been pulled up into a messy bun after sixty.
Having decided to wear a dress, even if premaman, was the dumbest idea ever.
The tightness of it is giving her a hard time, considering she can't exactly get herself comfortable.
The hospital gowns and beds are suddenly very appealing, when she finds herself wrapped in a Gucci dress on a very uncomfortable chair.
She trows her head back and squeezes her eyes shut as another wave of pain hits her.
Groaning as quietly as she can, she waits for it to be over so she can relax.
For about two minutes.
How lucky, she thinks.
Andrew, after having had the mess on his floor cleaned, has done nothing more than pacing up and down the room and freaking out.
"Will you stop marching around?" She complains, eyes still closed.
"I-" He doesn't understand how she could possibly know.
"I don't need to see you. I can basically hear you."
Her eyes snap open and her gaze meet his.
"This is you fault." The redhead cries.
"How can a blizzard possibly be my fault?"
"Not that, you idiot! You just had to come after Harvey, didn't you? And when I'm about to give birth!"
If there's one thing he has found out during this forced coexistence, is that Donna is the kind of woman that copes with the pain during the labour getting angry.
She should be shouting at Harvey, probably something about putting her in the position of pushing a melon out of her, but, unfortunately for Malik, he's the only one in the room.
"Ok, first of all, I had no idea you were almost nine months, and second, you were the one to decide to come to me." He keeps it low, knowing better than to piss her off more.
"Do you think I would just sit down and order a stroller while you're putting the man I love in jail?" It's the first time she has addressed Harvey as the man she loves in front of the one who has always thought shit about them. And vocalized it, for the matter.
"It's not my fault he's done what he has done and now he is paying for it."
"He's paying because you've hold a grudge against him for over a decade!" Her latest contraction fading away, leaving room for anger.
"You're damn right I have! He's a bully. He has made my life miserable!" His wall of lies crumbles the moment he understands there's no point in lying when she's already figured out the truth.
"And you think that denying us the possibility of being a family doesn't make our life miserable too?"
Her words hit him.
Rage has made him so blind, he hasn't even once thought about the effects of his actions.
He hasn't considered that, after fifteen years, Harvey is not alone, but has a family.
Donna can sense what she said has gotten under his skin, but she doesn't have the time to read his reaction that another contraction hits her.
If she cared to stick with a little dignity before, now she couldn't care less.
Her dress has been pushed higher up her thighs so she could squat down and alleviate the pressure that's been building up inside of her.
At this very moment in time, she has also stopped containing herself: she doesn't care if the whole city hears her, if she wants to scream for the pain, she does it.
Kneeling down and putting her arms on the couch, she buries her head in the cushion and muffles yet another shriek.
"Donna, I think maybe we should advise Harvey." Andrew suggests, feeling like he needs to know.
"No, I don't want him to to worry. He can't be here, and he would-" She mumbles against the cushion, stopping mid sentence to catch her breath. "Just torture himself thinking about us." She finishes, rising her head.
Even if she isn't going to call him, she will want nothing more than have Harvey there.
Perhaps she wouldn't focus just on the horrible feeling of being split in two, or the burning of her lower part.
Her body starts to give up and she surrenders to the tears.
Seeing her so undone does something to him.
He can't really address what it is or where it comes from, but deep down he knows he's in empathy with her.
It's strange, considering he doesn't concern about the others too much, but he's actually touched by the sight in front of him.
All he can see is an exhausted woman, going through one of the most challenging things in life.
He's amazed by her strength, but also saddened by her struggle.
He can't fight the urgency any longer, so he quietly approaches and lands on the ground behind her.
His hand lands tentatively on her lower back.
"What are you doing?" She jumps at his unexpected touch.
"I know it might seem inappropriate, but I just want to help you. Trust me, ok?" He reassures.
"Trusting you? Seriously?"
"I-" He looks into her glossy eyes.
"What? Have you turned into mother Theresa just because I'm hurting a little bit?"
She bites. "I don't need your help."
He hears her loud and clear, but he cannot just stand there and witness to her misery any longer.
He puts his hand back on the spot, pressing firmly.
She moves to slap his arm away, but, before she can reach it, her back is grazed with a sudden feeling of relief.
She breathes deeply through her nose and slowly leans against Malik's chest, her head resting on his shoulder.
He keeps massaging the area, alleviating the pressure and gaining a sigh of appreciation from the woman in childbirth.
"How do you know how to do this?" She asks, eyes closed.
"The truth? The paramedics on the phone taught me a few techniques a couple of hours ago. I just didn't dare to get close." He chuckles.
"I'm sorry. It's just that..." She breathes out "I am tired." She sniffs crunching her nose before looking at him "And overwhelmed. Harvey should see his daughter be born."
Daughter. It's a girl. Knowing that, makes it all more real. Donna is carrying a human being. That human being is ready to come out to the world. Harvey is not just the cocky boy with whom he didn't get along, but a father to that human being. As simple as it gets. He's an idiot.
Without warning, the glass and wooden door slams open, and no one less than Cameron Dennis comes stands on the doorway.
"What on earth is going on?" He blinks at the ambiguity of the situation.
Malik stands up and pushes the intruder in the corner of the office.
"Look, right now is not a good moment."
"You're damn right, I find you busying yourself in the middle of the morning with- wait a minute. Is that Donna Paulsen?"
"I had no idea she was pregnant. Are you seriously having an affair with her?"
"What? No! She's in labour, but we're stuck here. I was helping her." He clarifies. "Gosh, you think I would even try, knowing that Harvey is the father?" He delivers nonchalantly what comes as a news to his mentor.
"Harvey?! I knew there was something going on between those two!"
"I can hear you!" Donna shouts from her spot.
"I can't believe it. A cocktail of Specter and Paulsen's genes. The world is not ready for that." Cameron states with a chuckle and a shake of his head.
Their conversation is interrupted by the "alright!" the woman shouts.
The couple turns to look at her, watching as she repositions herself, this time sitting on the floor with the back against the couch.
The shifts her hips slightly forward and parts her legs a little bit.
"I don't care where I am or with who, I'm going to push this thing out right now! And you better catch it!"
The two man will probably be more eager to burn alive than to engage themselves in the miracle of childbirth , and their expressions drop at her statement.
Malik rushes to her while Cameron takes his way out of the door, running away and wishing good luck to the other.
Even though he doesn't chicken out, the attorney doesn't want the office to be turned into a delivery room, so, being sure she can wait at least a little longer, he redirects her plan.
After another long two hours, several text messages from Harvey (to whom she responded with a reassurance she was just taking care of something), pleas for some drugs and some good screams, she's too worn-out even for complaining.
As she finishes counting the starts of the American flag raised in the corner, she gazes the man who has been her partner during this crazy adventure.
"Can I ask you something?" She says quietly.
He just gives a nod and she continues.
"Why do you hate Harvey so much?"
There isn't any accusation in her tone, only a genuine curiosity.
He is about to open his mouth when she intervenes again. "I mean, of course you two have had different goals, those being eventually at odds but... I don't know, it feels like there's so much more."
He is tired of giving her the same old shit and, frankly, despite the circumstances, she has been able to put him at ease.
So he decides to trust her and talk about his true feelings — those who, even him, hasn't been able to analyze.
"Since the moment we both started working at the D.A.'s, I have wanted nothing more than being the best I could and get Cameron's appreciation. But no matter how hard I tried, all he could see was Harvey.
I was so angry because he didn't even seem to care-"
"While you where busting your ass, working hard, while it all seem to come to him without effort." She completes the last sentence of his monologue.
"Yes. And then he picked that case against me and I just wanted to beat him so badly."
"I get that, but Harvey didn't want to fight you. You were the one to attack him personally." She reminds him firmly but gently.
"I guess I just had to prove something to my self and I didn't care how. I'm sorry about that." He confesses.
Donna breathes in and out heavily.
"Don't think like I'm telling you because I feel like I have to," She specifies. "But Harvey and I were never like that. Our relationship has always been complicated, but he promoted me because he trusts me and I'm good at what I do; most certainly not because of some sex."
"I know." He replies without missing a beat.
"But-" She's taken aback by his confession.
"I know I kept insisting on that, but I knew it wasn't true. I just thought I had to find something that made him look like a dishonest man. And I truly regret that."
She can feel he's being a hundred percent honest and that makes a smile rise on her lips.
"I'm sorry he can't be here, but, if it makes it any better, I've decided to drop the charges against him and Cahill."
Donna swears she can feel the emotional weight (even more heavy than the one she's carrying in her body) being released right in that moment and it feels so good she could cry of joy.
"You're a good man Andrew Malik, don't you forget about that." Her voice cracks for the emotivity "And thank you. So much."
The man shrugs, like the previous heart-to-heart conversation was no big deal, and turns his head away, to not let her read how much it really affected him.
Of course, she knows anyway.
However, she can't really enjoy the moment, cause the familiar ache starts building up inside of her again.
Going to close her fists, she finds her hand clasped around his other one.
Much to their surprise, they realize they've been holding hands all that time and they haven't even noticed.
So she squeezes it, to fight the pain, and he stays there patiently, giving just his presence as comfort.
Donna thought it would have been better to go through labour alone than with him, but now she actually doesn't mind having him there.
Three unfamiliar faces, carrying big bags and monitors, join them in the room.
"So, we heard we're having a baby here. The storm is gone and we can take you to the hospital. You two seem to have it all under control though, maybe we should just leave you-" the younger man of the three jokes.
"NO! No, please, let's go to the hospital." She raises her eyebrows, eyes wandering frantically between the paramedics.
He has been treading outside her hospital room for what feels like forever, wondering if he should cross the threshold and visit the newborn.
He believes it might be slightly inappropriate and knows he's the last one the new parents are looking forward to see, probably busy with their long list of loved ones.
Then why can't he be able to think about anything else since he's known Donna has finally given birth?
Andrew takes the courage and cautiously peeks out of the door to catch a glimpse of strawberry blonde hair coming out of a light blue blanket.
The new mom is leaning against the headboard, holding the bundle of joy, which is being hidden from sight from Harvey's back. He is sitting on the side of the bed, one arm touches his daughter and the other is placed over Donna's legs to keep balance.
The prosecutor takes a few steps ahead and coughs to acknowledge his presence.
If Donna greets him with a bright smile, Harvey's attitude is completely different.
He tenses all of the sudden, leaving his seat and walking towards the unwanted visitor.
"You better get right out of here." He gets closer and whispers, but just loud enough for Donna to hear. "And if you ever come near my family again, I swear-" he adds, pointing a finger at him.
"Harvey!" Donna calls out from the bottom of the room. "Andy can and will come in."
Malik falters on moving forward, detained by Harvey's diffident look.
He timidly rounds him and stops at the redhead's bed; a few meters keeping him at a respectful distance.
She motions him to get near, as he takes the invitation.
He nervously scratches the back of his neck, excitement building up as he glimpses the baby.
"Andy meet Amanda," she says, pulling down the blanket for him to see better "Amanda meet Andy." She sweetly introduces them.
Despite being a newborn, the kid is an absolute angel. He has seen his nephew three days after the birth, and wasn't better the half of Amanda.
Pink cheekbones and lips, little hands and toes, reddish thin hair scattered on her head: he is mesmerized by her.
And her eyes. Oh, her eyes. They are Harvey's. A hundred percent. Those eyes will intimidate one day, he's sure of that, but right now they simply hold tenderness.
"Do you want to hold her?" Donna asks.
Harvey shoots a warning look, to which she responds with a disapproving one.
So he stays quiet and supervises closely (maybe a little too much) every move the other man makes.
The COO passes cautiously the baby in his arms, securing the head, and gradually lets her go.
Andrew is a natural with her, holding her in place and soothing her.
"She's precious." He says, never taking his gaze away from her.
"Oh we know." Harvey responds unenthusiastically, gaining a nudge from his girlfriend.
Then he clears his throat and gives in.
"Listen, I...uhm...Donna told me how you took care of her and..." He finds himself stumbling, but the listener is too caught up with the baby in his arms to notice. "What I meant is thank you. For that and dropping the charges."
"Nonsense Harvey, I shouldn't have done that in the first place. I am the one who is sorry." He honestly apologizes.
"We're not going to hug now, are we?" Harvey asks in disgust.
"Nah, too many emotions for one day." Malik chuckles and exchanges a look of understanding with Donna.
If you are so kind to leave a review, I'll pay you. (Just kidding :))