Authors Note: If you're anything like me, you probably like reading about meaningless statistics for imaginary spaceships. As well, you also probably like less serious excerpts from a more traditionally serious story. As such, I present Operation Unusual Paperwork! A place for anything related to Men From Onyx that doesn't fit elsewhere.

This can include a lot of things, I've experimented with character bios in the past, which seemed well liked enough. Yet I would frequently find myself unwilling to put them after chapters as they tended to mess with pacing, omakes even more so. At some point (likely soon) all previous character bios and omakes (including "Bitches Love Spaceships") will be making their way here.

With that in mind, starting with a character bio didn't seem right, thankfully SardonicEffigy offered a far better alternative. So buckle your seatbelts and shut your faces as we observe the master at work.

This specific omake intended to be read parallel to Chapter 17 of The Men from Onyx, although future chapters may not have definitive placements or even canon status. (And sadly, this is not canon, at least, not in the same timeline as The Men From Onyx).




It was always a strange thing for Thomas, seeing the elite speak. It's mouth was never meant to use english and yet it found a way, it was a borderline impossibility but it happened nonetheless.

On more than one occasion it made him wonder if there was a larger power at play, a god guiding the universe down a certain path. How else would so many unlikely things happen?

Their own universe had been strange, and the one they were in now seemed even more so. It was truly awe inspiring…

There was a loud clang as Ben slammed his fist into the cell wall, denting it. "I don't care what you say, it's a lie!"

The elite seemed to be unphased by the act of aggression. "I speak only the truth demon, I am nothing but honest."

The two had been going back and forth for some time, their simple and short interrogation having turned into a long and drawn out endeavor.

"We both know the Covenant have technology millenia ahead of humanity, you mean to tell me it hasn't been done?" The Elite nodded its head, further displeasing the already irritated spartan. "How is that possible?!"

"Search your feelings, you know it to be true." It was strange, how the elite's voice could change tones so swiftly.

"You will tell me what I want to know, and you will tell me the secret to this technology." Ben's voice took on a somber tone. "Without it, we won't survive. We need it to properly adapt to this dimension, who knows what the consequences might be otherwise."

"What is it you want, demon?" The elite seemed as fed up with the games as the spartan.

"I want the truth." Ben's determination was unwavering.

"You can't handle the truth!" The elite stood from it's chair, standing only inches away from the spartan. "That technology was forbidden by the prophets for the danger it posed to our covenant."

"I want my cat girls damn it!" Ben's fire seemed to grow even stronger. "We both know its an intergalactic truth that all sentient species seek out this same ability." Thomas couldn't disagree. "You mean to tell me the prophets had the ability in their hands, purfection within their grasp, and they threw it aside?"

"When one achives purfection, what more is there to strive for?!" The elite gestured with it's hand off to the side. "Cat girls would have broken the covenant long ago!"

There was a pause between the two, a slowly building tension as neither seemed willing to speak. In the end, the sangheili spoke first. "We don't even know that it's possible, such purfection might very well ascend like the forerunners the instance it was created."

The elite brought one hand up, setting it on the spartans shoulder. "We may never be given the gift of seeing them with our own eyes, but we can still fight in their name." For a moment it seemed like he might cry… if that was even possible.

Ben looked up slowly. "They're on the planet below."

The sangheili stared into the helmet. "You lie…" Ben met its gaze, the elite gasped. "We have done it… we have completed the great journey!" He took a step back. "From one warrior to another, you must allow me to gaze upon them with my own eyes!"

Ben turned over his shoulder to look at Thomas, who shook his head no. It was crazy, trusting an elite. If he had his say the thing would never see the light of day again. He would never allow it out of this cell… let alone to the planet below, not with such purfection to be endangered.

Ben put his own hand on the elites shoulder. "I will see it done."

Thomas was in shock. "Wait! You cant just-"

But it was too late, they already had. He was the only one standing in the cell.

Editors notes: well… that's a thing isn't it… yep… anyways, I hope it gave you all a good laugh. Let me know if not, so that I can adjust the sense of humour and satire, if you enjoyed it be certain to let me know so I can maybe make a sequel… purhaps...

Sincerely SardonicEffigy