In the Mediterranean sea, below Corsica, there was a small island notable for it's resort. It's name was Risortto De La Scruze. The crisp sandy beach, accompanied the warm southern sea, was filled with tourists, either they swam in the water or they let themselves be roasted by the sun. A bit further from the beach, there was a shining white hotel, looking like a mixture between something modern and brutalist, with (not counting basement and ground floor) five floors. Outside, it had a decently sized pool for those who were more of the lazier kind. Inside, aside from rooms for guests, the hotel had a restaurant and a casino. It was rated four stars by the professional hotel go-ers.
On the 5th floor, one of the windows opened wide, revealing a long nosed cephalopod by the name of Squidward Tentacles inside. He deeply inhaled the fresh air and heard the chirping of the birds, enhancing his mood drastically. Not exactly the most common feeling he has.
"Ah, so this is how my vacations starts!" said Squidward to himself as he smiled. "No Krusty Krab, no annoying neighbors, no irritating noises! Just me and my clarinet!".
He closed the windows and went to the ground floor, where he left the hotel. Then he went to the general direction of the town, looking to buy some food. As he went down the road, he reached a small town. Even though the town was rather small in populace, nearly every house, contrary to their antique appearance, were quite well maintained. Architecture was in a true Mediterranean style, an ultimate culmination of the nations, from Iberian to Balkan peninsula.
"What fascinating culture! These people truly have the taste!" he thought to himself as he observed the houses. There were some people passing by, but they minded their own business. With each squeak his tentacles made when they touched the ground, Squidward kept going on. After some time passed, he found a store. Not exactly the biggest building in the town, it had glass doors, making the interior of the store completely visible to the passing people.
"La da di la da do la da dam." he sang to himself as he entered the shop. From the get-go, he could see the cashier right in front of him and the internal entrance of the store to his side. As he went, he went through some rows containing various kind of food, from bread to sweets.
"Hmmm, I wonder if they have it." thought Squidward to himself as he went through the row with bread. Searching through the stockpiles of loaves, he did, in fact, find his desired item. "They have it!"
"Canned bread!" he shouted in a still acceptable tone, grabbing the can which contained the bread. The moment he obtained it, he went looking for a drink. It didn't take him too much time to grab some bottled water. Obtaining everything he wanted, he went to the cashier, placing the item to her in order for her to scan their bar codes.
"That'd be 70 cents, please." said the cashier as she reached out her hand, giving the signs to him to give money.
"That cheap? Even would be lenient with that kind of price!" pondered Squidward.
"With pleasure!" resounded Squidward as he reached out for his wallet and gave her the exact amount of cash she asked for.
"Thank you! Have a nice day!" thanked the cashier as she waved at him.
"Have a nice day as well!" said Squidward as he went out of the store. "Huh, that's the first time in a while that I have ever said "have a nice day" to someone."
Satisfied with his catch, Squidward strolled back right to hotel, where he would occupy his room for a bit. He ate the canned bread with a smile on his face as the face of a pressurized loaf melted on his tongue like an ice cream on a sunny day. After he finished his lunch, he prepared himself for the main deal of the resort: the beach.
Preparing himself for a nice day on the beach, he strolled down towards the desired destination. On the way, he saw three stout men, who were sleeping, one even while standing. Each of them had a different hat: one had a fedora, the other one had a bowler hat and the third one had a flat cap. Aside from that and different amount of hair, be it on the head or on the face, the men were nearly identical. Squidward glanced over them to see who they are, but shrugged off and continued his path to the beach.
When he reached the beach, he placed his towel on the sand in order to reserve him some space. The beach was not exactly packed with people, so it was ideal for him. He put on some sunglasses to look even cooler and went off to the water. Because he is already a cephalopod, the transition between slightly colder water and dry atmosphere of the above didn't hinder him. As soon as he reached the depths where his tentacles couldn't touch the ground (not that they needed to in the first place), he aligned his back to match the surface, making him float. He put his arms behind his head and let out a big "Ah!".
"This is life." he said to himself, looking at the cloudless sky as he calmly floated on the water. "Couldn't get any better than that!"
Hours have passed, yet Squidward kept floating like a boat. When the sun was about to set, Squidward finally noticed and swam back to the shore, where he would sit down on his towel and watch the sky with the orange glowing sun. He also noticed that people were leaving the beach, which didn't exactly bother him. Once he noticed that seemingly everyone left the beach, he laid down on the towel and gazed at the sky once again just like he did before.
"You know, if life kept going on like that, I certainly would welcome it…." he talked to himself as he kept gazing.
"Oh, I know what can I do right now! It's a perfect opportunity!" whooped Squidward as he brought up his clarinet that he was having all the time. He checked that the instrument of choice was in good shape. To his pleasure, the clarinet was squeaky clean.
"Now comes Sonata to Solar Decadence Act IV: Lacrimosa; pianissimo." announced Squidward just before he started playing it. Just when he actually began, suddenly….
"WOULD YOU BE QUIET THERE?! I'M TRYING TO SUNBATHE!"
The loud voice with a slightly unusual accent startled Squidward, looking around to see the source of it. Deeming the location of the voice unknown, he shrugged and attempted to play the clarinet once more.
"HEY, I'M TALKIN' TO YOU, HOSER!"
The good feel that Squidward had for the majority of the day vanished, turning him into the same old grouch he was when he was living in Bikini Bottom. A scowl appeared on his face along with dissatisfied eyes. He inspected the shore more that time, only for him to find a rather peculiar stout avian look a like. The person who yelled at him resembled a penguin dressed in the most royal clothes a person on budget could find. That individual was none other than King Dedede, looking so unpleased that even the most unpleased person would tell him to lighten up.
"Could you mind? I'm just trying to have a nice, relaxing evening and you're disrupting it!" complained Squidward to him.
"I'm trying to have a nice, relaxing evening by myself and all you're doing is assaulting my poor old ears!" retaliated King Dedede as he pointed at the clarinet.
"You call art "assault on ears"? Bah! Tasteless, that's what you are!" fumed Squidward as he hid his clarinet, securing it in the process.
"It ain't art, it's more like a fart!" sassed Dedede as he crossed his arms. Seemed like his response made Squidward's veins burst.
"How dare you, you cultureless buffoon! You have no rights to judge what is true music and not!" denounced Squidward as he pointed at Dedede like he was guilty of something.
"Oh, the one who can't even play a glorified blowing stick is calling me cultureless! Quite rich of you, you calamari hack!" backed up Dedede, making a smug grin in front of him. After that statement, the whole argument ended in constant bickering and blabbering until one of the tiny little lads approached them and poked Dedede's back, signifying that it was time to go. That lad was a single Waddle Dee, a henchman of the avian king.
"I gotta go now. I hope by then you learn to play that stick! Eh eh eh!" chortled Dedede as he left the conversation.
"Have a rotten day and I hope it extends to a week!" shouted Squidward just before he went away.
"I hope your week is like a bunch of compost: smelly and dirty! Eh eh eh!"retaliated Dedede for one more time.
"Even on vacation, I cannot escape snobs with no taste." angrily thought Squidward to himself as he stomped back in his hotel.
"Bleh, musician types, the most annoying ones..." thought Dedede to himself, still feeling agitated.
Next day, Squidward went to the town to obtain food for the rest of the day. After he got out of the store, he had an idea: unleash his (self declared) musical talent as a "street musician". He searched for the spot where no one could disturb him. Slightly later on, he found it: in front of a clean alleyway. Only things that stood behind him were two empty trash cans. He looked both ways to see if any disturbance would happen. To his luck, it didn't seem that way.
"Okay, here should be it. Time for the world to hear my latest composition: Trapped in the Void of Style: Crescendo; mezzo-forte in E minor" announced Squidward once more. His "composition" was set in motion, sound a bit off. He only started with the prologue when he suddenly heard audible bouncing from above. The action got progressively louder as the supposed bouncing object got closer. At that point, Squidward stopped playing his clarinet.
"Urghhhh, what now?" frowned Squidward as he got annoyed by the noises. Soon after, he found the source of the sounds: a bouncing and rolling Dedede going downhill.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" yelled Dedede as he kept rolling down the road, before he crashed right into a fruit stand, squandering few watermelons and grapes with it. The crash of a rolling avian person made the entire resort hear the loud impact as the stand collapsed. Luckily, no one else was injured.
"Grrrhhh, you again! I'm not gonna bother with you at all." grumbled Squidward as he stomped away from the scene. After a short amount of time, Dedede picked himself up and looked at the angry stomping octopus man.
"Eh eh eh! Worth it!" laughed Dedede as he rubbed with his palms.
At noon, Squidward visited a park owned by the Risortto De La Scruze's staff. It contained multiple of green trees and bushes, which surrounded a medium sized lake. Seagulls swam on the surface as they also occupied the borders of the lake. There was also a path made around the lake, suitable for relaxing walks. Looking to find a place to play his clarinet, he quickly found a perfect place: a solitary bench, made out of wood and steel.
"Ah, this looks just great!" complimented Squidward as he sat on the bench. Just before he could play his clarinet, he looked both ways once again to see if anything could disturb the flow. Upon seeing no threats, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he started to play his clarinet. At first, everything seemed to go well with him improving his performance compared to the one that happened on the street. Despite that, it was nothing special.
Suddenly, multiple rumblings of leaves could be heard. While they weren't that noticeable at the start, they have increased their noise so much that Squidward stopped playing his clarinet. He looked around to see if there were any individuals involved in such rumbling. After some time, he came to the conclusion that the rumbling of the leaves was something natural.
"Looks like even nature has no taste for music." he grumbled, standing up and leaving the bench behind. When he fully left the park, a bunch of Waddle Dees peeked from the bushes, curious about the direction the grumbled octopus went. King Dedede also looked from one of the bushes, looking satisfied.
"Eh heh heh heh! Seems like our little plan has gone butter smooth! Good job, my Waddle Dees!" praised Dedede as all of them disappeared behind the bushes.
Evening came to be, when the sun was about to set. Squidward, seemingly alone on the beach, observed the sunset. He looked both way about six times each to see if there would be any disturbances. Minutes of swinging the head both ways passed, when he finally took a deep breath and announced the last of his "works" of the day:
"Now, here comes the composition of the day, my magnum opus of today: "Please let a Man have Some Music: Epilogue; forte in F minor."
He prepared himself to give out the best performance for the invisible audience. He inhaled air with all the power he could amass and started playing the clarinet as best as he could. At first, everything seemed to be normal, with his performance reaching the above average standards. The soothing music accompanied the atmosphere of the beach.
Then things changed when he heard one particular voice.
"AAAAAH HELP ME! HEEEELP ME!" shouted Dedede as he ran across the beach. It seemed that he was chased by a dozen of small crabs, snipping with their claws at him. The loudness of Dedede's screaming overwhelmed the music of Squidward's clarinet as he kept running away from the seemingly furious crustaceans. Crabs were catching up to him rather quickly. That was the moment when Squidward's patience vanished completely.
"I've had enough! If my art is truly ear destroying, so let it be!" ranted Squidward as he looked absolutely furious at the mischievous king. He prepared his clarinet and pointed at the running Dedede like he was aiming a weapon at him. Then he started playing it. Unlike before, when he attempted to be as good as possible, that time he played it as bad as it could get. The clarinet barely sounded like a clarinet, more like nails on a chalkboard. The notes were completely off, nothing in his composition made any sense. It felt like as if it transitioned from a pleasant orchestra to an old car breaking down. Compared to other attempts, he seemed to nail the awfulness perfectly, as Dedede stopped running and covered his ears. Crabs stood there, confused whether should they dance or cover in agony.
"AAAAH, MAKE IT STOOOOOP! STOOOP IT!" begged Dedede as he was squirming on the ground, still covering his ears.
"Hahahaha! You thought you're gonna have a last laugh, didn't you? Well, let me tell you something...I will! Phaw haw haw haw!" taunted Squidward as he laughed in Dedede's face before he left the beach triumphantly. When the music stopped and he fully left the beach, Dedede stood up, angrily shaking his fist at him.
"You done calcified me well, you fraud bozo!" shouted Dedede at him before he decided to leave the beach as well. He started walking towards the direction of the resort's hotel, where he resided.
"Do we get the mixtape now?" asked the crabs.
"..Yeah, yeah, you get your mixtape." approved Dedede as he gave them a CD. Crabs thanked him and went off to their rocks, where they hosted quite an intense dance party.
"Hmmm, I gotta think of a spicy plan to bamboozle him! But what must I do?" thought Dedede to himself as he followed the path to hotel.
Suddenly, he fell over something, landing right on his face. He let out a brief yell of pain before he checked if his face is still in one piece and looked over. He saw three stout men, one with a fedora, one with a bowler hat and one with a flat cap, standing in front of him menacingly. Each of them wore a gray tuxedo with a black tie, making them seem, bar their hats, nearly identical.
"What's the big idea?!" he shouted at them as he stood up, spreading his arms like an eagle.
"You….We've been looking for you." said the man with a fedora, pointing at Dedede.
"Eh? To say I am the superstar? Eh eh eh!" Dedede laughed off as he put his arms around his belly.
"No, you know exactly why are we here." warned the man with a bowler hat, crossing his arms.
"...How am I supposed to know? I don't even have a slightest idea who you are!" jabbered Dedede in a rather sincere tone.
"Hah! You don't even know us, Dedede!" scoffed the man with a flat cap.
"Eh, how do you know about my name?!" asked Dedede as he was startled from hearing strangers using his name.
"Allow us to introduce ourselves. We are the famous Three Men. I am Stanko and my colleagues with me are Darko and Murko." greeted Stanko, fixing his hat during his introduction. "Are you sure you don't remember us, Dedede?"
"No, I don't..." answered Dedede, scratching his head. Three Men, however, remembered everything about him.
Three week ago, Dedede strolled down the roads of Makarska, a coastal town located in region of Dalmatia, which resided in Republic of Croatia. He was accompanied by his second hand, a purple snail by the name of Escargoon. At that time, they were searching for a restaurant. Dedede had an especially strong craving for salami pizza.
"Yo, Escargoon! Where the food at?!" demanded Dedede as his patience ran thin. "I need my pizza!"
"Sire, just wait! I am pretty sure we will find it soon. Look on the bright side...the food will taste even better if your belly feels the itch for a prolonged time." Escargoon attempted to reassure him and his massive hunger.
"It better be or else I'm gonna clobber somethin'!" threatened Dedede if his hunger wouldn't be quenched. Suddenly, a small, rusty car that looked like a Zastava Koral 45 (or more known as Yugo) drove past them with stunning velocity, forcing Dedede and Escargoon to evade. Even though it was there for a brief moment, it was visible that inside of it were a chef, a gangster, a rather buff man who seemed to be a pilot and a big turtle conqueror. Neither Dedede nor Escarogoon noticed who was inside.
"Watch where you driving, FOOLS!" angrily shouted Dedede at them, shaking his fist.
"Don't worry about them, sire. Some people just don't have manners." commented Escargoon.
"Yeah, you right." agreed Dedede as they continued walking in their general direction. During their search for a restaurant, they stopped by a car shop. The shop seemed to be more of an external type, seeing that all cars were parked there with one building accompanying them. Inside the shop, there were three men, all sleeping. Stanko was sleeping on a parked black Yugo, Darko was sleeping while leaning on the wall of the building and Murko was sleeping inside of the car. The facility was selling only used cars, predominately Yugo's. There was an old Lada here and there though.
"EH HEH HEH HEH HEH! Look at them crustmobiles! They're never gonna sell, ever! Better used for scrap!" mocked Dedede as he and Escargoon both laughed in unity. After they continued their way to find some food. Once they were gone, only thing that bypassed Three Men was wind.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY, BASTARDE?!" yelled Darko as he woke up, with fury shining in his eyes.
"Darko, what happened?" asked Stanko as he woke up along with Murko, concerned about the situation.
"That motherfucker just insulted our honor, our family tradition, our life!" ranted Darko as he pointed at the location where Dedede was supposed to be when he insulted the car.
"He has besmirched Yugo?!" gasped Murko, putting palms on his cheeks out of shock.
"...Unforgivable! We must find that person immediately and make them regret their filthy words!" said Stanko as all of them went out of the shop and searched for Dedede. They searched every pocket of Croatia, from Dalmatia to withing the border with Slovenia. Took them days, yet they found no traces of Dedede. Their search expanded upon all of Mediterranean until they have arrived to the resort Risortto De La Scruze, where they finally met him once more.
"...Do you remember now?" asked Stanko, glaring in Dedede's eyes.
"Uh...Kinda, I guess?" answered Dedede, still confused
"I'll take that as a fat no! But that doesn't matter...What matters is what is going to happen now!" threatened Darko as he pointed at Dedede once again, this time more menacingly.
"...What is gonna happen now?" asked Dedede, still confused by the whole debacle.
"We are going to beat the fuck out of you!" shouted Three Men, cracking their fists in the process.
"...EH HEH HEH! Try some! If you wanna beat me, then you gonna get clobbered fir-" boasted Dedede, bringing up his hammer but not before being sucker punched right in the face by Stanko, who wasted no time. The force of the punch made Dedede spin around like a ballerina doing some crazy stunts. One side of luck was on Dedede's side, as he held his hammer with him, making any contact with the spinning avian end up in a hammer strike. However, the spinning was uncontrollable due being hit in the head. Darko and Murko flanked him from either sides, looking for the opportunity to strike. Suddenly, Darko jumped right towards Dedede, hitting the hammer with his leg and sending it downwards, making the confused Dedede cease spinning. Darko propelled himself from the kick in the hammer and performed a back flip in the air before he landed on his feet on the ground Just in time, Murko ran right towards him and jabbed him in the face, sending him flying backwards for a bit. Dedede picked himself up in time and saw that Three Men were sprinting at him.
"Oh, this is how this game is gonna get played!" said Dedede as he lifted his hammer and ran towards them, aiming for a precise strike. Both sides were sprinting at their maximum possible speed. When they reached their range, Dedede swung his hammer with all his might, but Stanko managed to lower his head while running, dodging the attack completely. The attack didn't even touch Murko while Darko slowed down in order for avoiding the hit. In response, Stanko jabbed Dedede in the face once again. It propelled Dedede in front of Murko, whom also responded with a jab, but from his left arm instead. The jab sent Dedede in front of Darko, to which he responded with another jab in the face, sending the beaten king in front of Stanko. The man with a fedora took a deep breath, looking in Dedede's beaten face with the anger of thousand songs.
"STEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAM LOOOOOOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOMOOOOOOOOOOOTIVEEEEEEEEEEEE!" he yelled, as he unleashed thousands of punches upon Dedede. The impacts barely sounded like average punches, but more like an autocannon unleashing hell upon a convoy of adversary vehicles. With each punch, it felt like a meteorite hit Dedede's body with the velocity of way above the speed of sound. Once the flurry was finished, Stanko finished it with a single, decisive uppercut, sending Dedede flying towards the direction of the hotel. Stanko brushed off his palms as all of them stopped on their tracks.
"It's not over yet." notified Stanko as the Three Men went towards the direction of the hotel.
Meanwhile, Squidward was near the entrance, ready to call it a day and sleep in his room. He was feeling satisfied that the mischievous king got his comeuppance, smiling while thinking about his "victory". Just when he was about to open the doors, Dedede crashed right into them, devastating the entire glass entrance in the process.
"...I didn't even play the clarinet now, couldn't you just leave me be?" asked Squidward in a complete monotone voice. He didn't even notice the bruises and marks on Dedede's body.
"...Nah, it ain't you this time...It ain't you..." answered Dedede as he, despite in a rather worn out shape, stood up and pointed at the approaching Three Men, who had pure determination in their eyes.
"I see, there he is!" said Murko, looking at both Squidward and Dedede. Three Men got even closer.
"Are you responsible for this mess?" asked Squidward, pointing at the laying Dedede.
"Hey!" shouted Dedede in response while looking unpleased.
"Are you that clarinet played who killed a cat while playing clarinet at the same time?" questioned Darko, having Squidward in his mind.
"U-uh...I just played the clarinet. No cats were killed during it." clarified Squidward, being thrown off at his question.
"Are you sure?" asked Darko once again, not entirely believing Squidward's answer.
"Yes." answered Squidward once again.
"Assuming you played both pieces, I gotta say, the first one was pretty alright. You need to work on the flow and pitch, but other than that, it was fine. By the way, that was E minor, not F minor, just for clarification. That second one was a total flop though, only one who actively tries to be terrible would play something like that." critiqued Murko in a rather calm yet constructive tone.
"...Uh...thanks, I guess? I'll try to make my art as exquisite as possible!" thanked Squidward at first in confusion, but then in a rather pompous way accepting his critique.
"That being said, you're just gonna be beaten the hell out instead of beaten the fuck out!" warned Stanko as all of them cracked their knuckles, but less than before.
"B-but wait, I haven't done anything to cause a grudge!" stammered Squidgy as he tried to walk away from Three Men, trying to signal that he is guilty of nothing.
"You have assaulted our ears. That is a good enough reason for beatings." replied Stanko as he glared at him, pointing at him with his index finger menacingly.
"Told ya." jested Dedede as he had a smirk on his face. Just when Squidward tried to get away, Darko grabbed him and threw him right in the front of Stanko and Murko, but Dedede managed to snatch him mid air and place him on his left side.
"Only cowards run away!" warned Stanko, preparing his battle stance by raising his fists like a boxer.
"Looks like the only solution is to fight...with you." grumbled Squidward, preparing his own battle stance. "Not that I wanted this."
"Didn't think this would happen, eh?" jeered Dedede as he prepared his own stance by grabbing his hammer.
"Anything else to sa-" deadpanned Squidward, before he was pushed away by Dedede out of a sudden.
"NO TALKING!" shouted Dedede, who saw a sprinting Stanko delivering a jab to hit both of them, but thanks to Dedede's push, both of them managed to dodge it.
"Talk is expensive. It costs you time." warned Stanko. Both Darko and Murko flanked them from either side, preparing themselves for an attack.
"NOW IT'S TIME!" shouted Dedede as he suddenly bum rushed right into Stanko, propelling him right in Squidward. The unlucky cephalopod managed to jump over the launched Stanko, avoiding the impact completely. Once Stanko landed on his side, he quickly picked himself up, preparing for another attack.
"Ha ha! Come at us!" taunted Squidward, juggling his tentacle at Stanko.
"Focus, we're flanked!" said Dedede as he had his eyes on Darko while Squidward focused more on Murko. Darko ran towards Dedede and attempted to strike a punch, but Dedede dodged in time and he bypassed Squidward completely. He ran into the hotel before he stopped. From Squidward's side, Murko attempted to do the same, only for Squidward to pull a spin like a dancer of ballet, which not only made his attack null, but he got a slap in the face at the same time. Squidward smirked smugly after witnessing that Murko's attack was rendered fruitless, but a sudden surprise came to be when Stanko bum rushed into both of them, knocking them out like a bowling ball hitting the pins. All of Three Men stepped outside the hotel, checking for their adversaries.
"Yowza!" shouted Dedede as he felt the pain of the impact.
Both Squidward and Dedede picked themselves up and got together for a battle stance. Suddenly, Darko returned back into the hotel and lifted up a chair, returning to his position and charged at them, wielding the grabbed object.
"What?!" yelled Squidward in surprise as he saw the charging man.
"I ain't falling for your tricks, not a single one!" boasted Dedede as he had a battle-ready grin on his face. Just when Darko was about to smash Dedede and Squidward with a chair, Dedede swung with his hammer. However, he faked a swing on the head, surprising Darko in the process. Then he followed up with a sideways swing, which sent Darko flying from the hit, making him drop his chair. The object made for sitting landed on the ground, being in a perfect position to use it. Dedede smashed the chair, leaving only but a few pieces behind. Squidward got an idea, ran towards the pieces and grabbed them. When both Stanko and Murko returned with their own set of chairs, Squidward threw the pieces right in their faces, making them drop their respective chairs in the process.
"Good one!" praised Dedede, giving him a thumbs up.
"Oh, I even got a better idea!" proposed Squidward as he brought up his clarinet.
"You're gonna use that?….Eh eh heh! You really are sneaky!" complimented Dedede.
"Now prepared yourself for my actual finale! Three Men Begone!: Crescendo; FORTISSISSIMO!" announced Squidward before taking a deep inhale and blowing inside his clarinet. He played as loud and as awful as one could get. The loudness of Squidward's playing made the remaining windows vibrate and the lack of quality of his playing forced Three Men to cover their ears, occupying their arms in the process. Squidward gave Dedede a sign to attack, pointing towards the Three men. Darko was not so lucky, as he was just picking himself up.
"Oh shit! Now that's AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" yelled Darko as he tried to cover his ears, only to be met with King Dedede running towards him, ignoring the noises Squidward made. Once he reached the approximate distance, Dedede started clobbering him with his hammer before he was smacked right into the pool. However, both Stanko and Murko ran towards Squidward with their ears covered. Dedede noticed them quick and ran towards them. He was just lucky that he lunged himself towards Murko, hitting him in the back and making him fall down. King Dedede also fell down from a jump, leaving Squidward open for an attack from Stanko. The cephalod musician kept playing, but was soon met with a flying kick from Stanko, stuffing his mouth with the clarinet being pushed in it before falling down. The impact on the ground made him spit out his clarinet. He grabbed it midair, only to see Stanko, staring him with fury in his eyes, preparing himself to unleash an uncontested amount of punches upon Squidward.
Suddenly, Squidward closed one of this nostrils and "sneezed out" the ink right in his face, neutralizing his view in the process. Using the opportunity, Squidward stood up as Stanko tried to clean his face.
"Take this!" shouted Squidward, starting to spin and hitting Stanko's face with his tentacles. The power of a single a punch was not great, but with the amount of strikes per second and the speed of spin made Stanko flinch a few times until he was left dizzy.
Darko jumped out of the pool, completely moist, as he looked out for his adversaries. He saw Dedede and Murko laying on the floor, seemingly unconscious.
"Hahahaha! Your time is up! What is going to happen next to you is gonna make you wish an atom bomb exploded on you!" boasted Darko as he started sprinting towards Dedede, preparing himself for a big punch. As he was about to reach Dedede and land a punch to end all punches, Dedede suddenly turned his face towards him and swung his hammer so fast that Darko's eyes couldn't detect it. Performed in a similar way as an uppercut, Dedede's strike knocked out Darko, making him land on Murko, who was actually unconscious. Only Stanko remained, with him finally clearing his eyesight. Squidward ran around him erratically in order to confuse him.
"Bastards! You shall pay for your badmouthing with your own blood!" threatened Stanko as he was trying to jab Squidward, but to no avail.
"Quick, over here!" shouted Squidward as he called out for his colleague, flailing with his arm to signal him a move.
"You got me!" affirmed King Dedede as he ran towards Stanko, but instead of approaching him in front, he decided to go around him to get a strike from behind. Squidward occupied Stanko well enough in order for Dedede to score a hit. Just when Stanko was about to deliver a rather close jab towards Squidward, the avian king at first punched him in the back so that he lost his balance, then he lifted his hammer and started charging it. While it didn't set the hammer on fire, it was charged enough for the hit to propel Stanko right on top of the pile of other two men. Now with all of the Three Men unconscious, Squidward and Dedede stepped towards them. Dedede began charging his hammer for enough time in order for it to be engulfed in flames.
"So long, suckaaaaas!" he yelled, unleashing the fiery strike upon them and launching them right in the sky with high speed, leaving only but a twinkle in the sky. After the Three Men were gone, both of them approached to each other.
"Oh hey, you're actually pretty good." thanked Dedede as he gave out an arm to him. They shook their hands with triumph on their faces. "Oh yeah, sorry about that music roasting."
"Come to think of it, we don't even know the names? I am Squidward, an aspiring artist and a musician to change the world!" he introduced himself to the bruised Dedede.
"Oh yeah? I'm King Dedede, the name you should now! The king of Dreamland!" said Dedede. "You came in here to have a nice time of your life as well?"
"Indeed I did!" answered Squidward as he pointed at himself.
"Awesome!" claimed Dedede as both of them went of to a nice friendly stroll to get to know each other more.
"Say, Squiddo….Can you do me a favor?" requested Dedede, lifting his finger up.
"What's up?" asked Squidward.
"Can you play me your clarinet for a bit? It's actually kind of nice." asked Dedede.
"Oh, so you're only now appreciating art?" sassed Squidward, having a cheeky expression.
"If you say so...I'd rather have that than the beatings of angry chumps." explained Dedede, feeling kind of tired of the battle.
"..If it takes this much to convince people, then...I won't complain!" thought Squidward to himself before he started to play his clarinet without hesitation. He gave out his best performance yet, reaching the levels of very good. The soothing music calmed down Dedede as they went for a stroll. And so their day ends, but many adventures wait upon this unlikely friendship!
They had to worry about the reparations of the resort collateral damage later.