Puck & Tinkerbell
All Acts, All Scenes
Remediation by Lissa
Here we go… This is a story of a Duke and his Queen and matrimony.
This is a story of a brilliant mind who wants his difficult daughter to wed an ancient very old Greek philosopher.
This is a story of an ancient god who loves a brilliants minds difficult daughter and she loves him back.
This is a story of a gay sculptor that loves the ancient Greek philosopher.
This is a story of a Mule man that was a statue and is then real.
This is a story of a group of thespians producing a play for a wedding
This is a story of a bickering King and Queen of the fairies.
This is a story is a story of two stupid fairies.
Telly, the Duke of Athens, is preparing for his marriage to Hippy as he screams to the heavens for a chupa chup. Hippy, Queen of the Amazons was given her name because the belt her dad gifted her to be the Queen, makes her a little hippy around the girdle area. The wedding will be a two day festival of music much like Woodstock only the event will be called "Are You Kidding Me" Telly has chosen his longtime friend Mouskouri to MC the event. (Apparently she sings "The White Rose of Athens" pretty well).
In the meantime Plato (Whom you would think would have more literati wisdom than to take part in this comedy of errors) had a niece by the name of Nemesis who was on the lam and running from Hades (On the run from Hades and allowing Uncle Plato to play Cupid. Really?). Anyhoo, Plato wants Telly to marry his niece Nemesis off to old mate Socrates. Be that as it may, Nemesis is smitten with Thor who was born in Norway but now resides in Greece. Plato demands that Telly force Nemesis to wed old mate Socrates, if she does not she will be banished to live her days pushing up daisies (Who picked up on that?).
So Nemesis and Thor flee to the woods to elope where they meet up with Alex. Alex was commissioned by the King of Fairies to sculpt a statue of "Francis" the talking Mule with a man's body for the wedding and then the King would gather his fairies to make him real (It would seem the King of Fairies thought this would be absurd but amusing. We will catch up with the King of Fairies shortly). Alex is in love with Socrates (Who is a Muppet for taking part in this apocalypse of a story anyway). Socrates has left Athens and eventually finds them as he slowly shuffles his way to the group to join the conversation (Give the man a break, he is ancient after all). Nemesis, Thor and Alex try to find a way out to dodge the magic bullets that are surely coming their way. Speaking of magic….
Close by, unbeknown to these wackos, the King of Fairies Elton Hercules and his wife the gorgeous Angie Maleficent (Every fairy in the woods… no… throughout the entire Greek History knew this union was a sham) were also tapping into the scandalous flirtations of the wackos, while arguing about a mortal child that sees dead people and who gets to keep him.
A group of very keen thespians that have also gathered in the woods to put together a play "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" for the wedding day of Telly and Hippy. The thespians are excited to have Leonidas taking the role of the groom and of course his 300 will be playing his groomsmen. Playing the bride is Deianeira, Amazon Woman "Destroyer of Men" (A lot of pressure here for Deianeira. Are you with me so far? No? I'm not with me either!).
Now let's get back to Elton Hercules and Angie Maleficent. The King of Fairies (We will call him EJ for now) has gone a little cray cray and a little bitter because Angie Maleficent (We will call her A for now) won't relinquish the kid that can see dead people. EJ wants the kid for a lackey and is enraged that A won't give him up. EJ plots a little revenge for A and gets his number one fairy Puck on to the job. However, EJ also knows that Puck is a mischief maker and an idiot so he sends along the level headed fairy "Tinkerbell" who is visiting from Never-land (The word on the fairy dust trail is that Tinkerbell wants Peter to grow up. Let me know how that one turns out for you Tinks!).
EJ instructs Puck and Tinkerbell to go the magic garden and fetch the magic flower and Tinkerbell is to ensure Puck does not get up to mischief. EJ makes it clear to Puck and Tinkerbell that the juices from the magic flower are to go on the eyelids of A so when A wakes she falls in love with the Mule man. Off the two fairies flutter to the magic garden (To my horror Puck and Tinkerbell find the right flower, so moving on, nothing happening here).
Once the terrible two had the magic flower Tinkerbell decides to sip the water falling from another flower. Tinkerbell drank. Tinkerbell drunk (Two fairies – one an idiot and one blind drunk, back where we started again).
Puck and Tinkerbell set off on their journey (Walking at this stage because Tinks was so drunk she could not fly and Puck was trying to think but couldn't quite get there). They came across Socrates, Nemesis, Thor, Francis the Mule and Alex.
(For arguments sake let us add my words from the previous paragraph). Puck was confused because he was trying to think but couldn't quite get there and Tinks was well drunk. They found the band of wackos in the woods all asleep, but the two morons had no idea who was who so the two fairies decided to pour the juice onto the sleeping eyes of everyone. Tinkerbell slurred to puck saying "Wish I could be a fly fairy on the tree when they wake up"
Exit Tinkerbell and Puck