Note: Batman is owned by DC Comics and was created by writer Bill Finger and artist Bob Kane. The Batman films and characters are owned by Warner Bros. Superman was created by Jerry Siegel and Joel Shuster. Bane was created by Chuck Dixon, Doug Moench, Graham Nolan, and Dennis O'Neil.
Bruce Wayne was lounging around his Batcave, until he saw the Bat-Signal, which was flashing around the sky. Bruce quickly went into the Batcave and got on his Batman costume. While warming up the Batmobile, Batman's butler, Alfred Pennyworth, walked up to him. Alfred handed Batman his dinner. Batman said, "Thank you, but I don't need it. Besides, I don't have time to eat it."
Alfred replied, "You'll have plenty of time, on your way to the police station. Which villain has broken out of Arkham Asylum?"
Batman answered, "I heard a few rumors, that the Clock King has escaped his cell."
Alfred asked, "The Clock King? Shouldn't the police he handling minor villains, such as him?"
Batman said, "Alfred, I've learned to not underestimate my opponents. The Clock King may seem a bit silly, but he poses a threat, just like the other residents of Arkham Asylum."
Alfred replied, "Still, this seems like a matter the police should be able to take care of, without much of a problem."
Batman responded, "When Gotham is in trouble, I rush to the call. I don't care how small or mundane the crimes may sound. When my help is needed, I'm always ready to give a helping hand."
Batman drove to the police station and used his grappling hook, to get to the top of the police station. He moved around the shadows, while walking up to Commissioner Gordon. Batman said, "Hi, Jim."
Commissioner Gordon smiled and replied, "I still fear a villain's after me, when I see you sneaking around the shadows. You're still the best, when it comes to scaring people."
Batman said, "I'm honored to hear that. I heard the Clock King broke out of his cell. Is that true?"
Commissioner Gordon replied, "I'm afraid it is. He broke a giant hole in the wall, by using pieces from antique clocks."
Batman said, "I see. Do you know where he is?"
Commissioner Gordon replied, "I've had my officers check every clock-related place we can think of. So far, we haven't found him."
Batman put his hand on his chin and responded, "I think I know where he might be." Batman got off the rooftop and started running to the Batmobile. After getting inside, he started driving to an abandoned building, that used to be the home of an antique clock shop. The shop went out of business, due to Gotham getting more and more millennials.
Batman parked the Batmobile. He noticed another car was parked at the building. Batman figured it was the Clock King's getaway car. Batman burst into the building and saw lots of clocks, which were neatly stacked around the building. Batman whispered, "These clocks could of come from the old antique shop. However, I'm suspecting they actually came from the Clock King's collection."
The Clock King, who was repairing a grandfather clock, turned around and saw Batman. He was wearing a brown suit and a black top-hat. He tipped his hat to Batman and said, "Greetings, old enemy. You deserve to be congratulated, for finding out my new hideout. Commissioner Gordon's clueless officers assume I'm hiding in a clock shop, that's still in business. I figured you'd be the only person, who'd be to find out where I really am."
Batman replied, "Since you anticipated me finding out your location, are you also looking forward to me beating you up and taking you back to Arkham Asylum?"
The Clock King had an amused look on his face, while saying, "You might be Gotham's greatest detective, but you're wrong about my defeat coming soon. You see, it's time for me to win one of these fights."
Batman replied, "As much as you love clocks, time isn't on your side."
The Clock King pranced around his clock collection, while smirking at Batman. He said, "Once again, you are incorrect. Time is on my side, which you can tell, when you stop and notice how well I've aged." Batman rolled his eyes. The Cock King said, "Time has done many things for me and it's going to give me my greatest victory. I'm going to have you disposed of."
Batman replied, "Yeah right, you king of timeless nonsense. You're going to face the wrath of my fists, before facing an extended sentence in the asylum."
The Clock King said, "My time needs to be spent on better things, than goofing around with Arkham Asylum's wackos. However, I should be giving my fellow inmates my credit, since they're going to be defeating you."
Batman looked confused, while asking, "What are you talking about?"
The Clock King pointed to a pair of drapes. He pulled down the drapes and showed off a mysterious-looking machine. He smiled, while saying, "This is my time machine."
Batman raised an eyebrow and asked, "You made a time machine? I doubt anybody has the skills, to create such a device."
The Clock King said, "To accomplish the impossible, you have to be more ambitious than what's considered humanly-possible. Thankfully, I'm an expert at that. You see, I don't have the same limitations, that normal humans have. That's because I think of myself as part clock, sort of like how you think of yourself as half-bat."
Batman said, "If that time machine actually works, what are you going to do with it?"
The Clock King had an evil grin on his face, while replying, "You've had a long career, Mr. Batman. Your career has spanned for eight decades, at this point. That means you've dealt with lifetimes of villains. I'm going to use my time machine, to send you back to your most perilous battles. If you can actually defeat all the enemies of the past, I'll be history. However, you'll surely fail, which will lead to a timeless amount of victory parties, for me."
Batman responded, "I'm not going to let you send me back in time."
The Clock King rolled his eyes and replied, "It's not like I need to sign a permission slip." The Clock King pointed his time machine at Batman and pressed a button. Batman disappeared from the Clock King's hideout. The Clock King smiled and said, "Time for my first victory party." He did an evil laugh.
Batman got sent to the year 2016. He looked down and realized he was wearing bulky, bat-armor. He had a confused look on his face, while saying, "I don't understand what the Clock King did to me." He looked around, to try to find out where he was. He realized he was on a rainy rooftop. The sky was dark and rain was pouring on him.
Superman flew to him, with a dramatic look on his face. He started walking closer to Batman, while saying, "You're going down."
Batman asked, "What are you talking about? Why am I in a suit or armor and why do you look so mopey, Clark?"
Superman grabbed Batman and threw him around the rooftop. Superman said, "You need to listen."
Batman replied, "Then use your words, rather than your fists."
Superman grabbed Batman and angrily said, "I don't think so, Bruce. I have to beat the crap out of you."
Batman dodged Superman's punches. He whispered, "Clock King told me I had to fight my past enemies, but Superman's not really an enemy." He looked at Superman and asked, "Why are you trying to hurt me?"
Superman looked upset, while replying, "Because I need your help. My mom has been captured by Lex Luthor, so I need you to find her and save her."
Batman asked, "Then why don't you ask for my help, like a grown adult would, rather than having an intense fight with me? Martha would be ashamed of me, if she found out I was fighting a hero."
Superman looked furious, while asking, "Why did you say that name?!"
Batman calmly answered, "It's my mom's name."
Superman smiled and replied, "It's also my mom's name. Let's be super friends."
Batman responded, "Okay then. Let's stop Lex Luthor, the actual villain."
Superman picked up Batman and flew to Lex Luthor's hideout. Lex Luthor turned around and saw Batman and Superman charging towards him. Lex said, "You super fools better not try anything. If you do, I'll use jolly ranchers to intimidate you."
Batman raised an eyebrow and asked, "Jolly ranchers?"
Lex smiled and said, "They're cherry."
Superman looked at Batman and said, "I'll use my heat vision, to burn Lex."
Batman replied, "Hold on there, you anti-hero of steel. We're not supposed to destroy anybody, not even the bad guys."
Superman asked, "If I can't burn Lex, can you brand your bat-symbol on his chest?"
Batman raised his eyebrows and asked, "Why would I do that?"
Superman explained, "It's considered a death sentence. That way, Lex's inmates will get rid of him and you can be guilt-free."
Batman shook his head and replied, "That'd basically be murder. I would never do such a deplorable thing. It appears the Clock King has transported me to an alternate dimension, where superheroes act like edgy gangsters." Batman simply used some rope to tie up Lex.
Next, Batman got transported to 2012. He looked down and saw that his costume was completely black. He asked, "What's going on? My costume is supposed to be blue and gray, not black."
Batman looked around the city and saw people rushing out of the city. Lots of citizens looked panicked, so Batman asked, "What's going on?"
Bane walked up to Batman and spoke in a exuberant voice, while saying, "I have put a bomb in Gotham and it's going to blow up the entire city."
Batman replied, "But you're in the city, that's about to blow up."
Bane responded, "I don't care if I blow up, as long as I get to honor Ra's al Ghul's legacy."
Batman asked, "Why would you care about that old loser's legacy?"
Bane said, "I used to be a member of his team, the League of Shadows. However, I got kicked out of the team, because I was too extreme."
Batman asked, "You want to honor the guy that fired you?"
Bane replied, "My motivation doesn't matter, as long as I get to break your back." Bane tried to punch Batman, but Batman punched him in the face. The two of them punched and kicked each other, for several minutes, until they crashed into a nearby building.
Talia al Ghul, who was in the building, kicked Batman to the ground. She had an evil smile on her face, while saying, "Greetings, my beloved Bruce. Bane isn't the true mastermind. That honor belongs to me. I'm planning on having Gotham blown up, because that was my father's master plan. My father was a heartless jerk who I've always been mad at, but I still want to honor his good name."
Batman replied, "Your plan makes no sense."
Talia said, "I don't need you questioning my odd plans, because in a short amount of time, Gotham will be history." She walked by Bane and said, "Stay here and keep Batman busy."
Bane replied, "Okay." Talia waved goodbye to Batman and Bane.
Batman looked at Bane and said, "You're a fool. If you stay here, you'll also get blown up. Your boss is letting you die."
Bane replied, "If I die, I'll quit working for her." Bane picked up Batman and said, "I'm going to break your back. If I have time, I'll also break your arms."
Suddenly, Catwoman burst into and easily blast Bane to the ground. Bane fell to the ground. Catwoman helped Batman get up.
Batman said, "Thank you. Where's the bomb?"
Catwoman replied, "It's in the truck Talia was driving. She crashed her truck, but the bomb's still intact."
Batman responded, "Then I gotta get the bomb out of the city. I need to go, right now."
Catwoman pulled Batman back and replied, "Hold on there, Bruce."
Batman whispered, "I'm concerned about how many people know my secret identity."
Catwoman said, "Before you go after the bomb, let's have an overly-long kiss."
Batman replied, "That could waste precious time." Batman quickly got into the Bat-Plane, picked up the bomb, and had it thrown into an abandoned ocean.
Next, Batman got transported to 1997. He looked at himself and realized he was wearing a blue, rubber suit, which had nipples on it. He said, "This isn't as stylish, as I was expecting."
Mr. Freeze pointed his ice gun at Batman and said, "I thought I heard an icy reception and there's only one bat, who can put chills up my spine. You look worried, Batman. Let me cool you off, with my chillingly-evil powers." He did an evil laugh.
Batman asked, "What the heck is going on, Mr. Freeze? I thought you were a depressed and tortured soul, who was trying to cure his wife."
Mr. Freeze replied, "My wife's illness isn't cool and I intend on curing her. In the meantime, I need to chill out and play around. As for you, just stand there and look frosty."
Batman said, "Maybe I have a gadget in my utility belt, that can take care of this goofball." He opened his utility belt and accidentally pulled out a bat credit-card. Batman looked confused, while asking, "Why would I ever need this thing?"
Poison Ivy walked by and replied, "So you can afford to take me on the date of a lifetime."
A twenty-seven year-old Robin punched Batman in the stomach. Batman looked up at him and asked, "Who are you supposed to be?"
Robin folded his arms and said, "I'm Robin, the boy wonder."
Batman replied, "But Robin's supposed to be a teenager. After all, he's a part of the Teen Titans, not the mid-20's Titans. Also, what are you punching me for?"
Robin responded, "Because I'm mad that your name is listed before mine. This film should be called Robin and Batman, not Batman and Robin. Also, I deserve my own bat-signal."
Batman replied, "You deserve to have your mouth taped up, you petty brat. If you'll excuse me, I have some villains to stop."
Robin responded, "And if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go help Poison Ivy, because I trust a villain more than my own partner."
Poison Ivy put her arm around Batman, while saying, "This is the part, where you and the mid-20's wonder fight over me, even though you're already in a serious relationship."
Batman replied, "I would never do such a thing."
Mr. Freeze pointed his ice gun at Batman, while saying, "You better use that bat credit-card to stock up on heaters, because I'm going to turn you into a block of ice. It's going to be a chilling punishment." He did an evil laugh.
Batman thought of a way to trick his enemies. He looked at Poison Ivy and said, "You know what? How about a kiss?"
Poison Ivy replied, "Sounds lovely. I'll make sure it's extra poisonous."
Batman looked at Mr. Freeze and asked, "Wanna play hide and seek? The winner gets a lifetime supply of ice."
Mr. Freeze jumped up and down, while replying, "Sounds like fun."
Batman responded, "Close your eyes and count." Mr. Freeze closed his eyes. Batman grabbed Poison Ivy and put her lips next to Mr. Freeze's lips. Mr. Freeze received a poisonous kiss, which led to him passing out. Batman grabbed Mr. Freeze's ice gun and used it to freeze Poison Ivy.
After that, Batman got transported to 1995 and was put into Two-Face and the Riddler's hideout. A twenty-five year-old Robin ran up to Batman and said, "We better stop the bad guys."
Batman asked, "Are you supposed to be the boy wonder?"
Robin said, "I sure am. I'm in college, but I'm also the boy wonder."
Batman rolled his eyes and started heading towards the villains. However, a therapist, named Chase Meridian, wrapped her arms around Batman and said, "Who needs to stop bad guys, when you can exchange flirtatious banter?"
Batman sternly replied, "I deal with crimes, not romance."
Chase responded, "Come on, Bruce."
Batman whispered, "Too many people know my secret identity."
Batman looked at Two-Face and Riddler, who were dancing around, while making goofy faces. Two-Face grinned and said, "Look who it is. I have two faces, so I can see twice as well as you can." He laughed.
The Riddler used his cane to nudge Two-Face. He said, "Your double amount of faces doesn't compare to my double amount of brains." Riddler giggled.
Batman replied, "You guys better surrender."
Two-Face responded, "That's not going to happen, Bruce Wayne."
Batman whispered, "It seems like half the cast knows who I really am."
Two-Face said, "Since there's two of us, you're going to have two different deaths. If riddle-boy and I get sentimental, we might throw you two funerals."
The Riddler pointed his cane at Batman, while saying, "I like giving my opponents a chance to win, so you're going to get your fair shot at victory. I need you to solve my latest riddle."
Batman replied, "I'm not going to play games with you. Instead, I'm going to bring you villains down." Batman started punching and kicking Two-Face and the Riddler. The villains were too busy making puns and doing goofy laughs, to fight back. Because of that, Batman easily defeated them.
Chase ran up to Batman and said, "Let's kiss." Batman shook his head. Chase said, "Come on, Batman. I'm smart, pretty, and I'm Aquaman's mother."
Robin walked up to Batman and asked, "What do you think of my eye mask? It barely covers any of my face, so it's terrible for a secret identity, but it's great for style." Batman rolled his eyes.
Next, Batman got sent to 1992. He was transported to a sewer and was wearing a black costume. He said, "Once again, my costume's not the right color." He looked around and saw penguins, who had jetpacks, which confused Batman.
An icky-looking version of Oswald Cobblepot, the Penguin, pointed his umbrella at Batman and said, "Nice to see you, caped crusader. I'm going to get rid of you. With you out of the way, I'll become the Mayor of Gotham." The Penguin did an evil laugh.
Batman asked, "Who are you?"
The Penguin smiled and said, "I'm the Penguin."
Batman replied, "I'm not so sure about it. The Penguin is a guy, who wears fancy suits and does business deals. He's not a freaky-looking guy, who lives in the sewer and has an army of jetpack-clad penguins. You resemble the Sewer King more than the Penguin."
The Penguin stubbornly responded, "I'm the definitive Penguin and you're about to have the definitive death. Penguins, destroy the bat."
The Penguin's penguins started charging towards Batman. Batman asked, "What am I supposed to do?"
Catwoman pranced by and said, "Blow them up or something."
Batman asked, "Blow them up? I don't embrace animal cruelty."
Catwoman replied, "Come on, Batman. You use the Batmobile, to set people on fire and you blow up henchmen, while grinning."
Batman sternly responded, "No I don't. A real hero wouldn't do such vile behavior."
Catwoman smiled, while saying, "Well, I don't mind doing vile things." She put a live bird in her mouth.
Batman look disgusted, while replying, "Get that bird out of your mouth." Catwoman sighed and opened her mouth. The bird quickly flew out. Catwoman sharpened her claws and started scratching the jetpacks off of the penguins.
The Penguin looked horrified, while saying, "Catwoman scratched my precious penguins. That's despicable, even by villain standards. For that, she'll be the one, who'll have the definitive death." The Penguin used his umbrella to shoot Catwoman, who fell to the ground.
Batman looked sad, while saying, "This can't be. Catwoman's been killed."
Suddenly, some cats walked by and started using their unexplained powers, to make Catwoman come back to life. Catwoman stood up and said, "Meow, I feel better than ever."
Batman looked confused, while asking, "How did you come back to life?"
Catwoman replied, "The conveniently-magical cats used their healing abilities, in order to bring me back to life. Now, I have nine lines."
The Penguin responded, "Sounds like a trilogy of trilogies."
Max Shreck stepped out of the shadows and said, "That's not much of a problem. If we shoot her nine times, she'll be finished."
Batman asked, "Who are you supposed to be?"
Max replied, "I'm an evil Christopher Walken."
The Penguin nudged Max and asked, "Got a gun?"
Max took a gun out of his pocket and said, "I sure do."
The Penguin asked, "How many bullets are in that thing?"
Max answered, "Eight."
The Penguin replied, "We're doomed."
Catwoman smirked and responded, "That's for sure."
Batman punched the Penguin, while Catwoman used more unexplained powers, to electrocute Max. After Batman knocked the Penguin out, he walked up to Catwoman and asked, "What did you do to Max?"
Catwoman said, "I electrocuted him."
Batman replied, "You're Catwoman, not Electro."
After that, Batman got transported to 1989. His suit looked the same. He walked around some balloons, before facing the Joker. Batman said, "Joker, you're going to be defeated."
The Joker grinned, while replying, "It's not going to be so easy, Batman. After all, I've done more damage to your life, than just your adulthood. I also ruined your childhood, because I'm the one who shot your parents."
Batman responded, "What a joke. My origin was written before you were created, you maniacal clown."
The Joker said, "You seem to know your origin. That seems odd, since most people don't remember the day they were born. They're usually too young."
Batman replied, "I don't remember all the details, but I know who's responsible for me becoming Batman. That person isn't you. You have nothing to do with me becoming Batman."
The Joker thought about it and responded, "There is a possibility, that I didn't shoot your parents. However, I'm suspecting your parents were shoot by a protestor, who was inspired by me."
Batman shook his head and said, "That's not what happened."
The Joker said, "By the way, is my real name Jack Napier or Arthur Fleck?"
Batman replied, "Your real name is unknown."
The Joker responded, "Well, you don't know my name, but you claim to know everything about yourself."
Batman replied, "I think I do."
The Joker responded, "Then it's time you go back to the beginning of Batman."
Batman got transported to 1944, five years after Batman was first created. He looked down and saw that he was in his traditional costume that was blue and gray. He looked around and realized he was in a building that printed comic books. He saw a sign which was advertising an issue of Detective Comics. The advertisement said, "Check out the latest adventure of Batman by Bob Kane." Batman rolled his eyes, because he knew who his true creator was.
Batman walked up to the room where Bill Finger wrote Batman comics. He knocked on the door. Bill Finger opened the door and was shocked to see his creation standing in front of him. Bill asked, "Is it really you, Batman?"
Batman smiled and said, "Yes it is. It's good to finally meet my creator."
Bill replied, "Yeah right. As far as the world is concerned, Bob Kane created you on his own."
Batman responded, "Bob exaggerated the truth, but the truth will be revealed, eventually."
Bill said, "For the last five years, I've nervously hidden in the shadows, while Bob receives all the money and glory for the things I created. I doubt things will get any better."
Batman replied, "Let me ask you something: Why do you let Bob take all the credit?"
Bill responded, "Getting the credit would be nice, but that's not what's important. I created you, because I wanted people of all ages to have a hero they could be inspired by. The kids and the adults love my Batman stories and seeing the smiles on their faces makes every comic worth writing. Of course, this Batman thing will probably go out of style in a couple of years."
Batman replied, "You're wrong. I've been around for eighty years and I have you to thank for that. Your desire to have a hero people can relate to has remained popular and it always will. Also, despite how long it took, the public eventually found out who really created me. I might be Gotham's dark knight, but the real hero is you. Everything Batman-related has come because of you. Your legendary work will always live on. Bob Kane envisioned me, but you brought me to life."
Bill smiled and said, "I'm honored to hear that. Keep Gotham city safe, old chum."
Batman smiled back and replied, "Thank you, Dad." Batman gave his creator a hug. A tear rolled down his eye, while being transported back to the present.
Batman was back in the Clock King's hideout. The Clock King looked confounded, while asking, "How could you of gotten back to the present?"
Batman replied, "I defeated all the enemies of my past. I also met my greatest hero, but now, I have to bring down my current enemy." The Clock King wasn't prepared for Batman returning, so he desperately ran around his hideout and tried throwing antique clocks at Batman. Batman pushed the clocks off of him, grabbed the Clock King and punched him to the ground.
The Clock King said, "I don't get this. How could I lose, everytime? Surely, there must come a time, where the bad guys are the winners."
Batman replied, "No. Although the bad guys sometimes get the upper hand, the good guys are the only ones who gets the happy endings. Eighty-years ago, a selfless hero brought me to life and thanks to his work, I'll always be around and I'll always make the world a brighter place."
After Batman took the Clock King back to Arkham Asylum, he drove to Crime Alley and put down three roses for his three parents: Thomas Wayne, Martha Wayne, and his most important parent of all, Bill Finger. Those three would forever remain alive in Batman's heart and he'll always use the lessons they taught him to make Gotham and the real world a better place.