Part 3-Scared
2 hours later…
Mikey slowly began to stir from his sleep and he opened his eyes to see nothing but darkness in his room since he turned his light off earlier. He was still feeling a little groggy but he regained his senses after a few minutes of sitting on the edge of his bed. His right wrist was still sore and when he checked the dressing, he noticed that a large patch of blood had developed during his nap but it seemed to have stopped even though the patch was still wet.
Despite having a good nap, it did not help Mikey feel better in his now depressed state, because the words that Raph and Donnie said to him both today and a few days ago had struck him too deeply in the heart. As a result of this, Mikey has lost all touch of his fun and happy spirit and was instead replaced with fear and spiritual self-loss.
Soon, Mikey began to feel anxious and unsure if he should leave his room and do something else in the lair since there was a chance that his brothers might attack him verbally again as soon as they see him. However, he remembered that he left his sketchbook in the TV area and he was in the mood to do some drawing, which he felt was the only thing that wouldn't cause harm or disaster to those around him.
With this in mind, Mikey took a deep breath and stood up from his bed to make his way out of his room. He slowly and carefully opened his door to avoid attracting unwanted attention before he walked out of his room altogether.
Mikey cautiously and nervously took a look around the lair to see if there were any signs of his older brothers in the lair, but he didn't see any of them at first until he looked over at the kitchen. His eyes then widened when he saw Leo in there drinking what Mikey theorised to be a cup of herbal tea, but luckily for him, he noticed that Leo had his back turned and didn't know that Mikey had left his room. The young turtle quietly sighed in relief before he started to slowly walk past his oldest brother to avoid being detected.
Eventually, Mikey managed to reach the TV area and soon spotted his sketchbook and pencils on the coffee table.
"Oh, good…it's still here… and no-one's opened it or messed with it either…" He whispered in relief before he picked the sketchbook and pencils up. As he was about to turn around and leave, however;
"Mikey?"
The voice of his oldest brother Leo was suddenly heard from behind him, causing him to gasp and jump slightly before he turned around slowly to look at him with scared eyes.
"Hey, Mikey…it's good to see you out of your room…I was starting to get worried…" Leo said gently whilst keeping his experience in both the astral plane and Mikey's room a secret for now since he didn't want his baby brother to get worried or upset.
"E-Erm…" Mikey didn't know what to say to his oldest brother. In fact, he couldn't even look at him in the eye due to how scared and nervous he was feeling towards him.
"Are you…doing ok? Where's your mask?" Leo then asked him when he noticed that Mikey wasn't wearing his mask still before he took a step forward, but this caused Mikey to take a step backward whilst clutching his sketchbook a bit tighter.
"I-I'm just…here for this…that's all…" Mikey answered shakily. "A-And I don't deserve to wear my mask…I put it away…"
"Huh? Bro, what's-" Leo tried to ask Mikey what was bothering him, but he was instantly cut off by his youngest brother who was starting to develop tears in his eyes again.
"I-I'm…not your brother anymore…remember? S-Same with…Raph and Donnie…"
This caused Leo's eyes and mouth to widen in shock when he heard those words coming from Mikey's mouth. He couldn't believe that his own baby brother would say such a thing to him whilst avoiding eye contact with him. However, Leo soon realised why Mikey would be feeling this way in the first place; the lecture that he was given by his own brothers shortly after their return home from the future as well as the argument at breakfast this morning.
Before Leo could respond to Mikey's words, the sounds of the cyber portal activating rung out through the lair, resulting in Mikey becoming panicky and start to make a run for his room since he knew who would be coming through that portal soon.
"Mikey, wait! What's wrong!?" Leo called out as he reached and grabbed Mikey's right wrist, the hidden wrappings of which were still damp from his last 'self-punishment'.
"I-I gotta go…I-I shouldn't be here…" Mikey responded before he shook his right arm hard, causing Leo to lose his grip and let go. He then quickly made a beeline back to his room and closed the door just as Raph and Donnie appeared from the portal, leaving Leo confused and dumbfounded.
"Mikey…" Leo said with a frustrated sigh before he looked at his hand when he noticed a faint tint of red covering his fingers.
'What's this? Paint…or blood?' He thought to himself before an anxious feeling began to build up in his heart when he said the last part.
/
Mikey's room…
Mikey was sitting on his bed once more with his sketchbook held close to his chest as his heart raced and his breathing quickened with panic.
"I shouldn't have left my room…Now Leo's gonna find out…and he'll tell the others…I'm just gonna make things worse for them…and slow them down in their mission to save da-... Master Splinter…I'm really am such a stupid…useless…screw-up…!" He whispered to himself as he slowly rocked back and forth on the bed.
All he wanted to do was to get his sketchbook and go back to his room to do some drawing, but he never expected one of his brothers, Leo, to come out of nowhere and start asking him questions that he really did not feel comfortable answering. The worst thing that Mikey felt was that Leo had grabbed him by his bad wrist whilst trying to get away from him and his other brothers, so he had a horrible inkling that Leo might find out about his dark secret and tell the others about it which might make things more complicated for them all, especially in terms of how it would affect their progress in bringing Master Splinter back home.
Now that these events have occurred, Mikey could no longer consider himself as one of Master Splinter's sons as well as a brother to Leo, Raph, and Donnie. He took out his small kunai from his belt again and removed the band from his left wrist this time before he aimed the blade at his wrist.
'Stupid!' Slash!
'Useless!' Slash!
'SCREW-UP!' Slash!
Mikey created three-lined cuts on his left wrist in correspondence to the words that he said in his mind, and he let the blood trickle down his arm for a whole minute before he reached for his first aid kit and took out the same much-needed items from it to treat them. Once he was done, he tiredly looked at the sketchbook that was placed next to him on his bed before he picked it up and scowled at it.
"I thought that this wouldn't cause any more trouble for my family…but I was wrong!" He said quietly before he threw the sketchbook firmly against the wall and watched as it fell flat on the ground undamaged.
"I really can't do anything good for them…" He said next as tears began to develop and fall down his face, and he then laid down on his bed and curled up into a ball before he started to sob, with his heart in pieces once again.