I Don't Want The World To See Me.
Its cold Vanessa notes as she walks through the streets of Leeds city centre. It 7am and although lectures won't begin until nine, there is so much studying to be done. Veterinary school is taking its toll on the young blonde, its only three months in and she's ready to give up but of course it's not in her nature ,not when you have a point to prove. She walks the familiar walk past the Tetley towards the canal when she spots her. The hunched figure of a girl she sees most days, Vanessa sees the tension in her body, the dried blood around her finger tips, the way even though she appears asleep she watches everybody, waiting for someone to do they're worse. Despite all this Vanessa does what she's done every morning since she spotted her. She stops at the small stall selling coffee and breakfast items to the workers of Leeds and purchases two coffees and four rounds of toast. She makes her way over the road to the door way and places both next to the blue sleeping bags that covers her legs. There's no thank you. No acknowledgement of the offered items. But as she walks away she turns her head to see the girl pick up her coffee with one hand and removing the toast from the small paper bag and tentatively taking a bite. She catches Vanessa's eye and with a small nod and goes back to her breakfast.
The rest of her walk to the university building is always her favourite part of the day. The winter sun is just starting to rise and makes the city look like a magical wonderland, with all its greys and dull tones mixed with the reds, pinks and oranges of another day in the industrial city. Vanessa herself cuts a colourful dot amongst the new colours of the day, dressed in her yellow coat and yellow body warmer, her favourite items of clothing. The tone matched her often "sunny" personality and always reminded her to keep happy no matter what life could throw her way. And life hadn't always been kind to her. Her childhood has been what most people would describe as perfect, a small semi-detached house with a garden to its rear, weekend trips to the sea-side, two weeks trips abroad in the long summer holidays and a mum and dad who were very much in love. However, behind closed doors there was a different story to the one the neighbours saw. Her mother was only ever interested in how well she was doing at school, as a way to boast to her tennis club friends. This meant that she was forced to study for hours and hours a day and would often miss out on what her peers were doing after school. Her dad, although he was the more relaxed of the two, would often disappear for hours with no real excuse as to where he was. It was only when she has turned 13 and he up and left did she find out there was a string of other women he played happy families with.
After her dad left Vanessa had never felt so alone. Her mother somehow blamed her for what has happened and often took out her frustrations on the young girl. Not in physical way but in the venom in her voice. She would often tell her that she wasn't smart enough to be a vet that she wasn't pretty enough, she wasn't perfect enough and in some ways she had begun to believe her. Vanessa had resolved to blame her mother's resentment of her on the belief that she looked more like her father. She had his light blue eyes that could show every emotion possible. Her build was similar; she was slight yet muscular. There was facial similarities such as her nose, the small button that helped her glasses to rest on. Her jaw line was angular but not in the masculine way of her father. He only similarity to her mother was her height and at 5ft 2 she could certainly use more of that.
As Vanessa packed up her things ready to start her official day, her mind traveled to the girl in the door way. Wondering how she spent her day and if other people would treat her with kind.