Hello, my incredibly loyal readers!
I'M SO SORRY! I know I've been gone for a really long time, but I'm a sophomore in college this year, and I'm struggling to balance school, work, and family. Free time is a thing of the past, and I haven't gotten to bed before 2 o'clock in the past month and a half.
But I was feeling really bad for not publishing anything in so long, so here you go! I've been sorting through my old documents and finding old stories that are completed. They're not really good, but it's better than nothing, and hopefully these will tide you guys over until I can get back into my multi-chapter fics. I'm really sorry it's been so long!
SPOILERS: This is a Sirius the Jaeger fanfiction. If you haven't watched it, YOU NEED TO IT IS WONDERFUL. I cried. Several times. It's a Netflix original, and I actually love it as much as I love Voltron. It's really, really good. Anyway, this fic spoils the general premise of the show, but has more specific details from episodes 3, 6, and 7. You can probably piece things together if you're reading this without watching the show, but it'll be confusing.
WARNINGS: Just a lot of emotions. Most of them happy, but not all.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Sirius the Jaeger or any of the characters. I'm just torturing them for my own enjoyment.
Yuliy froze in place.
He knew he should get up, he knew he had to get ready to fight, but…
"Mikhail," he rasped out, so shocked he couldn't even recognize his own voice. "Brother…"
And then he was gone.
Fighting his brother the night the Naoe mansion was attacked was one of the worst experiences of Yuliy's life.
Watching his brother strangle and almost murder one of his closest friends ("We are a pack, Yuliy") was even worse.
And then learning that the man who had saved his life was the reason his people had bled and burned and the reason his brother was so broken…
Yuliy didn't know what to do.
Kershner had paid for what he'd done, but when the Beast of rage and grief threw itself at Professor Willard, knocking him to the ground and preparing to take his life with the same bloodied claws that had torn Kershner apart, Yuliy couldn't do it.
He had already lost everyone else.
He couldn't lose his father, too.
Once the fire was out and the army had gone, the Professor was quick to usher the Jaegers to bed.
"It's been a long night," he said, his arm still around Yuliy's shoulders, all but holding him up. "Rest now. We'll debrief in the morning."
Fallon wound up having to carry Yuliy's beaten, exhausted body to bed.
He passed out long before his head hit the pillow.
"GO!" Mikhail roared.
His leg lashed out, colliding with Yuliy's chest and sending him flying off the cliff.
His blazing blue eyes softened, and when Yuliy screamed, reaching out as he slid uncontrollably down the hill, Mikhail smiled at him.
His voice echoed in his head.
Mikhail's voice rang in his ears and a fountain of blood exploded as the wretched monsters slung his brother into the air like a toy.
Crimson stained the pristine snow and Mikhail's screams echoed down the mountain.
Hands were shaking his shoulders, and the wolf inside him surged to the forefront in a heartbeat. Yuliy felt his eyes burn like stars as he lunged forward, slamming his opponent into the floor and raising an arm, ready to rip, tear, destroy the things that had taken his brother from him.
Yuliy felt his snarl falter as his prey began failing like a drunken pelican and beating him over the head with—was that a hairbrush?
"GET OFF ME YOU STUPID MUTT!" screeched a very familiar voice at full volume in his ear.
The Sirius flinched back, his hands rising to protect his head as the blond blur of insults on the floor—also known as Philip—practically teleported over to the nearest wall, heaving for breath, all five-foot-two-inches of him braced for a fight with his hairbrush over his head, ready to fly.
"I—" Yuliy's voice died, and he stumbled back, knees suddenly weak as he realized what he'd nearly done. His fingers tangled in his long hair, ripping at it as he fell to his knees, suddenly unable to breathe. "I'm—I'm sorry, please, I'm so sorry," he gasped, unsure who the apologies were for: the teammate he'd nearly tried to kill…or the ghost of Mikhail's smile from that winter night so many years ago.
"Yuliy?" Philip's cautious voice sounded much closer, and the wolf jerked away, scrambling backwards until he hit the bed.
"Stay away from me!" he half-roared, desperately trying to control the blue stardust burning in his eyes and coursing through his veins, his jaws aching as he fought against the fangs that were lengthening and sharpening despite all his best efforts.
There was a long silence, and Yuliy curled into himself with a sobbing shudder, certain that Philip had left him, gone to tell the Professor that the Beast had lost control—if he'd ever even had it in the first place.
"Yuliy," murmured the smaller boy from right in front of him, and Yuliy gasped as warm hands gripped his gently but firmly, pulling them away from his hair.
"S-Stay away," he tried again, attempting to back up further.
"No," Philip said stubbornly. He knelt in front of the older boy and rested his hands on his shoulders. "Look at me."
Yuliy shook his head, almost frantically. He couldn't watch Phillip's face contort with hate, mistrust, fear…
"Yuliy." Philip's voice was hard. "Look at me."
Slowly, trembling, barely holding on to his emotions, the wolf raised his head—fangs, glowing blue eyes and all. He braced himself.
But Philip just sighed and shook him lightly by his shoulders.
"I'm not afraid of you, Yuliy," he said, sounding impossibly sad.
Yuliy swallowed hard. "Y—you're not?"
"No, you idiot!" Philip smacked the side of his head. "Do you really think I'd hand you a deadly weapon and then turn my back to you if I didn't trust you?! Geez, you really are stupid!"
Yuliy's shoulders shook with a sob, and Philip's eyes widened.
"Hey, I didn't mean it like that!" he said, waving one hand frantically while patting Yuliy's head with the other as though that would help at all.
The older boy had to laugh, shaky and wet as it was. "No, it's just—" He took a deep, shuddery breath. "W-Why were you even in h-here?" he managed to get out at last. A tear escaped, and he clamped a hand over his eyes as he tried to hold the rest of them back.
"You were screaming," Philip answered quietly, and his hands went back to the wolf's shoulders, grounding him. "I—the others are all downstairs and can't hear us. You…" he sighed. "You weren't waking up by yourself, and I…" he fidgeted in place. "Ugh, fine! I wanted to help you, okay?! You were screaming, and you sounded terrified, and…and I didn't want you think that you were alone."
How like Philip, Yuliy thought, even as another sob tore through him. Such a big heart, but he acts like he doesn't care when in truth, he cares more than anyone else.
"Hey, don't do that!" Philip ruffled his hair, loose around his shoulders. "Come on, Yuliy, don't…okay, come here."
He scooted closer, pulling Yuliy's head down to rest on his shoulder.
The blue-eyed boy froze in shock.
"Ph-Philip?" he whispered.
"Shut up and don't make it weird," Philip grumbled. Then he sighed. "You're not alone, Yuliy. I know you lost your family, and I understand that. But…you do know that you found a new one, don't you? With us? You're not alone anymore."
You're not alone anymore.
I am the last Sirius.
I am always alone.
You're not alone, Yuliy.
The brilliant blue light of Yuliy's eyes was extinguished as his tears started to fall in earnest. He twisted, burying his face in his friend's shoulder and clinging to his shirt. Philip let him cry, playing with his hair and rubbing his back.
"You aren't alone anymore," he said softly. "We're here for you, Yuliy. We all know what it's like to lose someone you love. And I know we—I—don't say it, but we…blast it all, Yuliy, we love you. You're a part of our team, a part of our family. If you wanna get really technical, you kind of started it. You've been with the Professor longer than any of us."
"He found me in the snow," Yuliy whispered out. "After…after Mikhail—"
"No, hey, you don't have to tell me," Philip started, but Yuliy shook his head.
"You deserve to know," he answered.
Because Philip didn't have a single obligation to come in and draw Yuliy out of his nightmare, but he did. He definitely didn't have to stay and comfort him, but here he was. Here, in the middle of the night with the stars and the moon shining through the window and his head on his friend's—on his brother's shoulder, Yuliy felt safe and home for the first time in a very, very long time.
"I woke up to the sound of a fight downstairs," Yuliy said. His sobs had died down to the occasional hitched breath, but Philip made no move to shove Yuliy off his shoulder, so he stayed put. "Mikhail had killed the one that got into our house, but not before it got to our mother."
Philip inhaled sharply, and his fingers tightened in Yuliy's hair for a second.
The older boy swallowed and went on. "She…she told me to survive. It was the last thing she ever said to me. 'You survive, my very brave Yulichka.' She died in my arms only a few seconds later."
Philp exhaled shakily.
"Mikhail kept us hidden and safe as he led me out of the village and out into the forest," Yuliy closed his eyes. "I—I thought we'd gotten away. I thought we were safe, but I was wrong. Mikhail could smell the vampires, and he—he charged them. He shouted at me to run when they showed themselves, and he attacked. Four of them were dead before I had even recovered from seeing them appear, but they'd gotten him, too—all the way down the side of his face and across his chest. Then…" Yuliy shuddered, tears burning his eyes again. "One of them just…impaled him on its claws. I—I tried to help him, but he kicked me off the path, down the mountain. He—he smiled at me. He knew he was going to die, but he knew that I would live, and he was okay with that. He saved me, and I got to watch them tear him apart until I couldn't see him anymore. But Philip, I could hear him. He was screaming, and I thought he was dead."
"I know," Philip wrapped him up in a tight embrace as he broke down all over again. "I know, Yuliy."
"And—and one of them had chased after me, and it destroyed the scarf Mother had made for me, and I just…I lost control. I killed it, and I collapsed, and that's how the Professor found me," Yuliy sobbed out. "I was…I wanted to die. I was buried in the snow beside the ashes and I was so alone and Mikhail's blood was on my clothes and I did not want to go on living without him. Without my mother. I was so alone, Philip."
"I know," Philip said, his voice growing hoarse with his own tears and memories. He was trembling a little. "I get it, Yuliy."
"I'm so sorry, Philip," Yuliy whispered brokenly. "The Sirius may have lost their home and their families, but that rogue had no right to take yours away from you. I'm so sorry."
Philip sniffed. "'s not your fault, Yuliy," he said, his voice thick. "You didn't kill them. You…You get it. You understand me like none of the others can. Dorothea joined up because she couldn't sit by knowing there were creatures like this out there. Fallon joined because he almost lost his family to them. The Professor joined because...actually, why did the Professor join?" The boy shook his head. "Never mind, not important. The point is, we're pretty much the same, you and I. And…I know I don't say this, because Fallon's enough of an overly affectionate limpet as is, but…I care about this team. Everyone. Even you, you stupid mutt."
Yuliy laughed a little bit. "I never really thought about it before, but I guess we are a family, aren't we?" he said softly.
Philip leaned back against the bed with a put-upon sigh. "I guess," he said, closing his eyes and trying to ignore the way he was still sniffling occasionally. "If we have to be."
He was trying to act like he didn't care, but his mouth was twitching up at the corners.
"Will you tell me about your family?" Yuliy asked softly, worried he might be overstepping his bounds.
But Philip smiled. "Mother loved to sing," he said. "She was always up before everyone else, and we would wake to the sound of her voice ringing through the house. And Father was the best storyteller I've ever met. Every night, we would sit around the fire, and he would…"
Yuliy's eyes half-opened as he was lifted from the floor by the strong, familiar arms of Fallon. Right beside him, Dorothea lifted Philip, who promptly reached out and smacked Fallon across the face, without ever opening his eyes.
"Wha…" Yuliy mumbled, yawning.
"Everything's alright," Dorothea's soothing voice drifted into his ears as her fingers stroked through his hair. "Go back to sleep, Yuliy."
"M'kay," he whispered, closing his eyes.
He felt the soft mattress of his bed beneath him, and then a small, warm body was settled next to him. He automatically curled around it, absently recognizing Philip's scent, and the younger boy rolled over, snuggling his head into Yuliy's chest and grabbing a handful of his sleepshirt.
A gentle kiss landed on Yuliy's forehead, and light fingers tucked his hair behind his ears.
"Goodnight," came a melodic female voice from the door.
Lost to sleep as they were, neither boy noticed when they answered in unison.
Dorothea didn't have the heart to correct them.
Yuliy yawned as he crawled his way back to consciousness, waking slowly for the first time since his village fell. The Beast in his blood wasn't raging against him, threatening to tear his tenacious control out of his hands and set itself loose on his enemies. Instead, the monster was…content. It was there—it was always there—a faint blue burning in the backs of his eyes, but it was calm. Peaceful.
It was such a nice change from how it was always, always fighting him that Yuliy couldn't even summon the coherency to be confused about it, savoring the peace while it lasted.
A soft exhale fanned out across his neck and he was suddenly wide awake. The scent was familiar, but…what was Philip doing in his bed, curled up in a tiny ball and looking all of six years old?!
Even as the thought crossed his mind, his memory kicked in, and he couldn't stop his smile as he recalled how sincere Philip had been when he'd called them family and said they were like each other.
Yuliy smiled down at the younger boy.
'Yeah. I feel it, too…Little Brother.'
He understood why the wolf was so calm now. It was in the presence of its pack for the first time in years, safe and protected and not alone.
So Yuliy curled a little more around his brother and went back to sleep.
So there you go!
I actually wrote this piece a while ago, but FF still doesn't have a category for Sirius the Jaeger, so it has to go in Miscellaneous. It's a really amazing show, though, and you should DEFINITELY watch it if you haven't.
Anyway, drop me a line or two to tell me what you thought of it, and I hope I'll be back soon to update my other stories!
Happy reading, friends!