It all began in a shire in the Celtic lands. Or rather, it continued...

The sun sets over Burgundshire. Shadows conceal it all. Everywhere, the many crofts retire. The coos and other livestock retire as well.

One meter at a time, the shadow of sunset conceals the wall that separates the twin lands of the two mightiest crofts in Burgundshire: that of the Hastings Clan, and that of the MUCH more-endowed DiLaurentis Clan. Some of the lower-ranking locals would say that the Hastingses and the DiLaurentises are feuding. Alas, the Hastingses and DiLaurentises don't prefer to think so. They just prefer to think that they've discovered a rather passionate means of expressing brotherhood...

This is DiLaurentis Castle. It is the HQ, more or less, of the DiLaurentis Clan. Much livestock and many crops are yielded from this land every year. And the ripest generation has borne five sons.

Meet Kenneth. His other relatives trust him a lot more than he expects them to. His bedding is comfy, but not excessive. Many daresay he deserves excessive.

Ashley, the maid, visits him one last time before he retires. She changes the coals under his bedding; they will keep him warm for the first part, at least, of the night.

If you ask him, he wishes his maid would. He deviously stares down her little maid bra, as she serves him. Alas, there isn't much to see down there. Little Ashley is flat-chested.

He rolls over on his side, grins, and stares at her ass, concealed beneath a maid mini-skirt, as she leaves him be. She's stolen his heart; she will NEVER let him be...

Or, so he thinks. For all he knows or cares, there are other ewes on the croft to choose from...

The hours pass. The sun sets. Night creeps around the castle. The moon rises, and the wolves howl.

Quietly, in their beds, like dead men, the DiLaurentis boys rest. They wait for the right moment...

At long last, Kenneth opens his eyes. Like a robot, he pushes the bedding away, rises, dresses, and creeps downstairs...

On his way out, he takes up his fine bo staff. With velvet hands, he fastens the harness its two halves hang from to himself.

In descent, he passes many framed paintings. They're of his paternal predecessors, and of golden palomino horses...which DiLaurentis brides seem to over-favor, for some reason...

Many DiLaurentis brides have been Hastings dames... Alas, now's not the time to think of that.

Kenneth is joined, from the arches that lead into their chambers, by his two brothers, Jason and Mortimer, and two male cousins, Pietro and Tommy; Pietro and Tommy are brothers. Like Kenneth, they're armed.

They creep through the room where their patriarch sleeps. He's well-fed, and slumbers like a Celtic hog. Translucent drapes surround his bed, as they hang from a canopy. Every hour, Ashley changes his bed's coals.

Past him, his five products creep. He slumbers, with low regard to the skeletons in his family's closet. With luck, dawn will shed no light on any skeletons, anywhere. But then, the skeletons of a few wolves wouldn't hurt...

They get to the front door. Stealthily, they open it. They creep outside, descend the front patio steps, and vanish. They leave the front door open.

Shivering, Ashley creeps out from the shadows, and closes the door. She hesitates, before locking the door.

Not too far away, the DiLaurentis patriarch slumbers. He seems so peaceful...and noisy. Ashely would hate to wake him.

She knows she should, to punish Kenneth and the others. But she doesn't anticipate the family feud that would happen if everyone in the house found out about what Kenneth and the others do at night. She sighs, touches the left side of her chest, and lowers her hand. The door will stay unlocked until the boys return...if they return.

Ashley leans her back against the wall, lowers herself, bows, and sighs in grief. She prays, to whatever gods who'll listen and help, to protect her bosses' men, as they meet each other in the bottomland forest...again.

The trees that grow near the river are hardwood, and grow tall. But then, they're codepended by the river's floods. And it does flood. As long as the Celtic lands are green, its rivers will flood like there's no next century.

This is a clearing. Many of the tree trunks that surround it have been branded with the DiLaurentis and Hastings sigils.

The DiLaurentis boys arrive, after a long hike. They wait, in malice, for the arrival of their worse-equipped-yet-more-passionate neighbors...

They arrive. As usual, they're harbinged by their most reliable specimen, Peter. He's here with his brother Scott, and his cousin Warren. They're joined by Hank, and his brother Bobby. They're all armed. They're all here to have at it, with their abominable DiLaurentis neighbors.

Each side lines up, in a rank. They face one another. They start by hissing, growling, griping, and insulting one another. Some of them show off their weapons routines...

Onward, into the night, this goes on. The boys just can't seem to help themselves.

From a castle window, Ashley listens, and sighs. She loves the DiLaurentis family to death...but what's anyone going to do about their paternal legacy?