"Bang Bang"

He was taking his brother's car out for a ride in the night. His name was Barney Stooge. With a name like that, he had to be crazy. The two brothers were talking to one another on their cellphones.

"Should I fill up the car before I return it tomorrow?" Barney asked with the phone up to his ear.

His brother stated, "I told you that already!"

"Awe, man," they argued. "I don't have much money on me now. Get back to me when I get my next disability check."

The response was, "I know how much money you're worth. I can always tell mom and dad you're driving my car without a license."

"ALRIGHT!" he asserted. "I'll put what I can into it. Bye."

He hung the cellphone up on the dashboard. Then the car died. It was extremely dark. The only light was a bright one appearing above the car. Barney decided to get out of the dead car. He began to rise…silently….


Sometime, in the future, there was a dumpster, and he was in it. Children laughed as they walked by on their way to school. Barney did not make it home in time to take his prescribed medications. He remembered what happened the night before, and he was going to do something about it.

"What?" Barney asked slowly coming to.

A distant bus driver yelled, "Hey! What are you doing in there?!"

"I'm not sure!" he responded getting out of the dumpster. "Maybe I got robbed! Do you know the way to the nearest hospital?!"

The bus driver gave Barney directions to the nearest hospital, and he started to walk.

In disappointment, the bus driver shook his head and whispered under his breath, "I knew drugs were going to ruin this town."

Of course, Barney never abused drugs. Although, it was completely understandable to believe so in this situation.


Hours later, Barney got to the doctor's office. He didn't walk for hours – he simply had to wait because it wasn't a scheduled appointment.

When he finally got to the doctor's office, she said, "I hope the wait wasn't too long. You know that this is not a scheduled appointment."

Barney couldn't hold it in any longer, "I think aliens abducted me."

There was a pause as the doctor believed she inherited the sickest man ever. Then she asked, "Do I have to change your medications again?"

"I'm not lying," he quickly responded.

"I did not call you a liar," she as quickly asserted.

The alien abductee demanded, "So what are you going to do about it?"

She replied, "I'm going to do my job."

"Thank you!" he cried.

"I'm going to change your medications," she continued.

Barney Stooge felt defeated walking out of that office, but he had never lost a fight. He was not going to give up so easily. He had more fight than that left in him. Hatred began to form.


On the way home, he entered a weapons store. Because he lived in a minority district, it was close to his home.

"Come in. Come in," the owner beckoned him.

The very shy customer spoke, "Hi."

With a smile, the owner stated, "You look like a man willing to purchase a handgun. Any problem created by violence can be solved by violence."

Always playing it safe, Barney asked, "If I'm mentally ill, can I still buy a weapon?"

"Depends," he answered. "Do you still think you're insane when you take the medications?"

"No," Barney replied.

The shady businessman took a handgun and told him, "Here. Take this one on the house."

No one was going to push this man around anymore. He wasn't going to train the handgun on aliens – they did nothing to him. The doctor, however, had been using him this whole time. He was no longer going to allow it. The aliens also endowed him with a mental power that made him a hero.

The End