For as long as I could remember, the thought of death terrified me.
To the bone.
Would I be met with rows of angelic figures, dressed in white, singing me a harmonious welcome? A barren waste filled with my own worst demons, presented to me concealed as "justice" for all the wrongdoings an omnipotent entity deemed me to have done? Or, what my atheistic worldview deemed far more likely: Non-existence, null, loss of self, a big boring nothing.
It was the ultimate uncertainty.
At least, for me it was. I obsessed over it without pause, spurring more panic attacks than i cared to admit even to my psychologist.
Meeting new people also turned into a paranoid ordeal; where every encounter would have me evaluating the positives and negatives in surrounding myself with them, and if they were a threat or a resource to the "good life" I so desperately craved.
This fear didn't just bring bad thoughts though, it also gave me urgency and resolve to appreciate life for what it was, to work hard and thrive in what little time I had left.
Fearing death, I found out isn't a universally shared sentiment, as I've seen people destroy themselves with no regard for it, and even take fate in their own hands and find out what the endgame of our existence truly was on their own volition.
I too have now taken that leap, though it certainly wasn't on my own terms. The driver that hit me hadn't asked for any permission. No sir he did not, and being on a high from recently getting accepted into my preferred college, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have given it to him either. That didn't stop him from ramming me through the local store however, probably splatting all over the cute girl clerk I just talked to, if she didn't became a stain on the wall herself, that is.
Well, that's all in the past now isn't it?
Let's focus on the present, I like the present.
Just being alive.
But I wasn't... right? My body made liquid by a person that probably never should have set his two feet and hands behind a steering wheel?
I was surprised too, truly.
Being able to open my eyes again was the first hint that things weren't as they should, my mind first went to the hospital. But I quickly realized that the speed in which the car drove was not something that would leave anyone alive. I admit to being in good health and fit, but thinking myself capable of surviving such an impact was too optimistic, something I wasn't known by my friends and family to be.
But I digress, being present is good, being alive is good. Now I just needed to make sure it stayed that way, and that I wasn't in a dangerous situation.
I didn't know what to make of what my eyes were showing me however, several lithe, pale, attractive, gigantic bodies with glowing eyes and oceanic blue hair were bustling around my room. Four in total, one man and three women.
Familiar, yet unfamiliar. Right before my very nose they stood, walked and talked, yet they were never meant to be real, present only in highly fantastical games or movies.
Long-eared-, tall-, magical- fricking elves!
It all suddenly seemed so tiresome. I had already discarded the idea that this was some illusion, some far-fetched dream I was seeing in my last moments. No, too real, everything felt too real. More real than my previous world did even, scents invading my senses only the way an infant's fresh perception could induce, the air sometimes rippling with power transparent, and the sheets -my god the sheets! My body had never once lain upon anything as soft during my stay on Earth.
Reincarnation then… And in a new world to boot. What did this mean for me? How would I proceed? I had no way of knowing, or plan anything detailed for the foreseeable future. However, a goal had already formed itself the moment I found out I was alive, and more importantly, alive in a magical world.
Get strong. Strong enough to tackle the metaphorical car head first, drag out the driver from the wreckage my form brought, and crush him with my own bare hands. In other words, overcome death. Become immortal.
Grand visions filled my mind, teleportation, locking down and blasting all opposition to smithereens the most spectacular among them. Looking around my porcelain-looking crib however brought my two currently small pale feet back on the ground, sobering up my thoughts quickly.
This world may not even have the tools or powers to help me achieve such things, elves or not. My pitifully weak situation right now is neither something to ignore, if I were to flip over, I doubt I would even have the body strength to help myself not suffocate from the lack of air.
Anxiety, my friend, I have not missed you.
Having made some sound after trying to build up my sheets on both sides to prevent the dreaded, lethal flip, the surrounding elves gathered to gaze down upon me.
Not knowing what to expect, and fear of my own safety rising up, my body froze while drifting my gaze between all of them. They froze too, seemingly in a trance. Why? I couldn't tell you, but what I did know is that I just entered the most intense staring contest I have ever participated in, both lives combined.
One second, two seconds… Keeping count was hard, but it lasted an uncomfortable amount of time. Get me out, I beg you! Four versus one was not playing fair!
I didn't notice which one of them did it, but a timely cough shook them all out of their daze. Blinking a couple of times, they seemed to gather their bearings again, for about half a second, before screeching synchronized.
I blame baby emotions, but I cried damn loud then too, in turn shitting in whatever this worlds equivalent of a diaper was, of that I was sure.
Either hearing my cry, or the newly arrived aroma did the job, as they slowly but surely calmed down. After the odd display, the four immediately went into movement, rapidly speaking while making lightshows with their hands and bodies in an unknown language. Though much lower in volume, whatever excitement that triggered the earlier scene was still present, evident through their slipping faces, gravitating towards a smile ever so often.
I repeat, it was an unknown language to me, sounding as otherworldly and magical as this world felt, but one particular word repeated itself in most if not all of their sentences.
That… was a name I was not unfamiliar with. Having consumed warcraft content since the ripe age of ten and up until my untimely death, it would have been hard to avoid it. Once a revered Queen of the Kal'dorei empire, she was at the center of night elf civilization in times past. Loved and adored by all, she stood at the pinnacle of magical might and influence in the world. Her character was one who changed however, and where the story currently was, she had been turned into the Queen of the Naga, and an underling of the old god N'Zoth.
But that's all it was, right? A story? Because If I happened to actually be in the warcraft universe… Well, my goal of becoming immortal became possible, for sure. But my chance of surviving until I reached that point? Dropped like a rock in water.
It was called world of warcraft for a reason, war ravaged the world at every corner, almost at every point in time. If my guess was correct -and I hope it wasn't, then the lack of scales present on my new family and their fascination with Azshara put me an unknown amount of time before the world shattering event that was The Great Sundering.
Surviving The Sundering was not something even the current Azshara was able to do, without the help of N'Zoth she would have drowned together with her city, Zin-Azshari. Then, what chance did I stand to brace the coming storm? To slay whatever demons that would hunt me? To avoid the tidal wave of destruction the land would bring?
Zero, none, fuck-all.
It was my own life that was at stake, and betting on that whatever insanity brought my consciousness to this world would do so another time was foolhardy. No, the only real option I saw that guaranteed my survival was the complete avoidance of The Sundering altogether. Stopping it from ever happening, refusing the core of the lore which shaped the landmass I had guided my characters on for over a decade, completely throwing most of my knowledge of future events in the thrash.
Now, how was I to go about doing such a thing though? The key figure in all of this was obviously Azshara, being able to move the whole Kal'dorei people on a whim and the instigator of the magical experiments done with the Well of Eternity which ended up drawing the attention of Sargeras, The Dark Titan.
Then, how would I go about enchanting Azeroth's most influential and mighty sorceress?
From what I remember, that was her main drive, getting closer and closer to perfection, which in her mind entailed having an insane amount of power.
Could I offer her that? More so than an Old god or Titan?
I didn't doubt my tenacity or fervor when it came to amassing power for a second, as I was the type of person who when put under pressure would work the best, and hardest. And trust me, the desperation felt with my life on the line was the biggest pressure of them all. However, one does not simply become that powerful with sheer determination and gut alone. No, in addition to that one needed great luck in finding opportunities to grow, and time, which were both factors I had no real control over.
Tiresome, too tiresome…
But all this is just my mind going wild right? I can't possibly be on Azeroth, this is probably just an elf inhabited world. A world completely new to me, without any reason to get anxious, or fear for my life already as an infant!
Please be so.
I didn't get to ponder it anymore as two soft delicate hands reached out to pick me up, holding me as if I was made of glass. At this point I had reasoned these elves to be my new family, and excluding the screech they made earlier, have so far showed me nothing but good will. My instinct-like habit of categorizing people from my past life reared its ugly head once again too, prompting me to put faith in them, for now.
Carrying me over to table, the more mature looking of the three elven women put me down on a soft blanket. It seems they were finally addressing my next major concern, after my safety and standing in this world, my diaper.
You know, stuff every self-respecting man would have wanted taken care of as fast as possible.
I was once again reminded of the fantastical side of magic when I saw several objects including a new diaper, clean water and dry cloth began giving off a blue hue while cleaning me. The only indication this wasn't done by the objects themselves was the slightly stronger light the eyes of my caretaker was giving off.
The ordeal was -though emasculating, surprisingly pleasant. Going about it the most effective and comfortable way possible.
My bottom changed and mind refreshed, I gazed once more up to meet my new family member's face.
She noticed my trail of sight, and started smiling while talking in a soothing voice, harmonious words coming out of her mouths, like a lullaby.
I of course didn't understand anything, but I could feel my eyes dropping from the melody alone. I could have fallen asleep -would have if not that blasted name came up again.
I jerked my head up straight, giving her the fiercest stare my small body could produce.
Now, I don't really know how scary I looked, but a reserved laugh and a spray of what my nose deduced could only be perfume was not the expected response.
Seeing my disgruntled face, she once again picked me up and put me down in my crib. Leaving me alone with my thoughts once again.
I was… a lot of things right now. Confused, uneasy, anxious, but more than anything, I was god damn exhausted. Both mentally and physically, doing anything at all right now sounded like an absolute nightmare. Things weren't going to magically start making sense no matter how much I thought about it, right?
It was with this mindset I finally allowed myself to close my eyes, and fall into a deep, much needed sleep.
I'm not sure what I expected to see when I woke up again, but this present scene was definitely nowhere on my list of what I had in mind.
Being held by the only male present when I first woke up, presumably my father, I was raised in the air while he, and the three female elves knelt with their gaze turned towards the ground. I was reminded of Simba from the movie "The Lion King", but turning my gaze forward quickly numbed my thought process.
Five new elves stood inside the room, four of them had identical clothing, heavily equipped in purple themed clothing I could only assume was magically enhanced armor and a menacingly looking staff on each of their backs.
Ignoring how this scene could be interpreted as a child offering from an outside perspective, what really put my mind to a stop was the sight of the fifth member of the already impressive looking group. Standing in the middle of the four other elves' square formation she stood, making the waves of power I could distantly feel before evolve into what felt like a bursting waterfall, flowing freely through the room.
Tall, white haired, elegantly dressed, beautiful, graceful, powerful. This was the woman who managed to enchant an entire race and build an empire through it. Reading about it was different from experiencing it, this… How should I say it, I understand why now?
Yet, while I'm sure I should have been charmed too; I could only feel a deep terror. My suspicions had been correct. This was the person who was about to willingly open way for hell itself to arrive on Azeroth, which meant whose actions going forward could easily spell my doom.
My father moved for the first time since I woke up, his gaze still down he walked while motioning me over to Aszharas arms. This in turn made me go into a fight or flee mindset, panic overtaking my decision making. Though fully wrapped in a cloth from my toes to my neck, the only reaction from my body was my head moving frantically in all directions, trying fruitlessly to wiggle out and escape.
My small movements ignored, I was handed over, head forced to focus on hers, eyes captured with a discerning stare not giving any chance to break of eye contact.
Gold. I thought absentmindedly. Both her eyes and my own, I quickly realized, her eyes so clear and bright I easily managed to see my own reflection for the first time since entering this world.
Finding whatever she was looking for, she made a small nodding motion, allowing me to finally break eye contact.
Still dazed, my mind didn't manage to register the way her arms continuously subtracted with me in them, getting closer and closer to her face, nor the cheers my new family and her guards were giving while it was happening. The roar of applause reaching the climax at the same time something soft and slightly wet touched my forehead.
The contact seemingly acting as a catalyst, the shaking waves of power present in the room suddenly found purpose, and a target. Me.
I feared for the worst, that my second shot at life would already be over, taken away from me before I had any fighting chance to protect it.
What followed however, was easily the most euphoric feeling I had ever felt. From the bottom of my feet to the top of my crown, a rush of what could only be described as pure power ran its way through me. Setting both my nerves and muscles ablaze, the wave of power went as quick as it came.
What… was that?
If magic users felt such a rush every time they practiced their art, it was no wonder the elves grew addicted to it. I could only hope my foreknowledge of the consequences of it would help me fight my budding relationship with magic from going out of control.
Azshara scrutinized my body once more, eyeing it up and down. Finding whatever she was looking for, her face fell into an elegant smile. She then proceeded to hand me back into the once again kneeling arms of my family, as if no explanation was needed for the happenings just now.
It hadn't made me grow a new limb, but, one thing was for sure; something had changed. I could feel fragments of the power still linger, and it felt as if a whole new sensation had been made available to me; the sensation to feel and direct mana.
It wasn't much, being able to feel the surrounding mana, neither was being able to prod it to move in certain directions. It was however, only something that could help me in the long run.
Never mind the how or why, for now anyways…
I probably should care more, definitely should actually. Someone as important as Azshara didn't randomly come to people's homes for no good reason, the coming of a newborn child included.
That might sound like me trivializing the birth of a new person, I wasn't. Life was something I respected immensely, more than the average Joe if I were to estimate. Nevertheless, it was something even I could see was too small a thing for a ruler of an empire to bother with, especially one as individually powerful as her. It just didn't happen.
Another thing that didn't make sense about my whole situation. Really should start making a list.
My parents received me and gently placing me down in my oh ever so familiar crib. Handling me like I was glass.
I was thankful for this, for my body and mind were made a mess, and once again, it only longed to rest.
I closed my eyes, and could only pray.
Please let me have an uneventful day the next time I wake up.
Reviews greatly appreciated!
Also want to say that I am currently looking for a beta, pm me if you are interested and want to talk about it.