So one day Blues calls me a chump. Like, "you think you're king shit of fuck mountain, but as long as you're working for Wily you're just a chump" and so on. I don't know what a chump is and it pisses me off. Smarty-pants seems to think that's funny. I wanna wipe that stupid smirk off his face and show him who the real chump is. But I only get to sort of half-pummel him before he blasts me to the ground, and when I look up he's gone of course. Runs away like a little bitch every time. Oh well. If I were him, I'd be scared of me, too.
I forget about the "chump" thing for a while. But one day I try to get into the lab and it's access denied. Cornea scan, fingerprints... neither of 'em work. I'm like, that's weird, but whatever. Next day, though, it's the same. And the next. Egghead's up to something but hasn't told me what. That pisses me off. So I wait there for him to come out so I can let him have it. After a while I get tired of waiting and start beating on the door. At last he opens it up a crack, just enough to peek his wrinkly forehead out. He's got this look on his face like the fuck you want?
I'm like, "you better tell your right-hand man what you've been doing in there."
And he goes, "ex-right-hand man. I'm building your replacement."
And I'm like, "the fuck you mean by that?" or something in that vein.
And he's like, "Remember how I built you to do that one job, which was to destroy Rockman? Well, you've done nothing but suck at your job. But remember that time you ransacked the Lights' place and brought me back that data? Turns out that was the fucking ticket. I started analyzing it, and wow. It's some real next-gen shit. It's gonna make you obsolete. So you're fired. But don't worry, because I'm always gonna need someone to scrub the toilet and darn my socks and whatever. A promising career as my housemaid awaits you. I'll even get you a frilly smock and everything. Ha ha."
And I'm like, "you asshole. You fucking asshole." Although maybe I don't use those exact words.
And he's like, "boo hoo hoo."
And I'm like, "maybe I'll flip, then. What makes you so sure I won't flip?"
And he's like, "'Cause if you flip, this thing I'm building is gonna go after you, too. Then you're fucked. It's your choice-accept your demotion, or become a grease stain on the floor. So what's it gonna be?"
And I'm like, "yeah, the first one," 'cause I'm no dumbass.
And he's like "uh huh, thought so. Now get lost."
I'm so pissed off, I really wanna smash the old man's face in. But whenever he's around, if I raise my hands up or pull them back or even just make a fist, or kind of make like I'm gonna kick something, I hear that rapid click-click-click in my head which means I'd better cut it the fuck out real quick or I'm gonna be in for a world of hurt. 'Cause if it gets up to five clicks I'm gonna be on the floor for like half an hour getting zapped from the inside, just fucking fucked. I mean, sometimes when the old man is out of range I work on my uppercut, and if I get really fast at it, one sweet goddamn day, I'll be able to get one in in under five clicks. But right now the best I can do is, I estimate, like seven and a half clicks. I'm not fucking stupid, so I keep my hands down at my sides while the old man is disrespecting me. Then he shuts the door and that's that.
I go down the hallway, kicking the wall and also sort of slamming myself into it. I'm angry that the old man's taken my job away all of a sudden. I'm angry that I did something awesome for him, like steal that data from the Lights that one time, and then he goes and uses that against me. I'm so angry I'm seeing red. I wanna pummel something so bad. When I get to the end of the hall I see Quick and Clash patrolling and otherwise being useless wastes of space. So I just fucking lay into 'em right there. I go all berserker and they don't even get a single shot in. I blast and wallop 'em until they're in bits and pieces all over the floor. It feels fucking great. But I know I'm gonna get it for that, later. Not as bad as if I'd tried uppercutting the old man, but still. So right away I'm mad as hell again, 'cause I can't do anything fun without the old man coming down on me.
Then for some reason I remember the "chump" thing. And I go "what's a chump?" to the netscreen mounted at the end of the hall. When I see the answer I'm like holy fucking shit, smarty-pants was right. Like, I do all this work for the old man, and what the hell do I get for it? Like, nothing. It's like a fucking joke. I've been a chump all this time. And then I feel like the clouds are parting and this bright golden sunlight is, like, shining down. I see everything so fucking clear now.
I'm king shit of fuck mountain. From this day on, I'm not gonna be anybody's chump.