So I'm back at the old man's compound, but there's no fucking sign anywhere of the old man. There's just some Wily-bots milling about being useless as usual. I'm feeling puzzled by this, but then it dawns on me. That smug son of a bitch must've gone to the Lights' place to gloat. I mean, that's just what he'd fucking do. So I turn around and now I'm running back toward the edge of the teleport shield so I can get the fuck out of here.
But as I head through one of the antehalls, the door in front of me comes down. Then the door behind me comes down, and I hear this loud click meaning both of the doors have locked. I'm like what the fuck. And then I hear doors everywhere coming down and clicking themselves locked. Now I'm, like, stuck in this little fucking room. The doors are made of steel, the walls are made of rebar-reinforced concrete, and of course I can't fucking teleport myself out.
At first I don't realize just what kind of shit I'm in. I figure there's some kind of system-wide maintenance going on, and that after a minute or two the doors will open again. But they don't. I start pacing. Then I start blasting at the doors and walls, but that doesn't do shit. It doesn't even make a fucking dent, and that makes me, like, extra pissed off at the old man. I mean, if that fucking egghead thought he was so smart, he should've made me strong enough to blast through a fucking wall.
Then I remember that he did make Zero strong enough to blast through a wall. Then, along with being pissed the fuck off, I also get scared. Yeah, that's right, I actually get scared sometimes. If you have a problem with that, then fuck you.
Then, as if to confirm that I really do have something to be scared about, I hear these loud fucking crashing and blasting sounds coming from far away. It's like crash, crash, crash, one after the other. I start yelling and kicking and punching at one of the doors, but all that does is fucking hurt my hands.
Those crashing noises seem to be getting closer. I hear a bunch of Wily-bots stirring and clashing with something for a few seconds before getting blasted to pieces. Trust me, I know what it fucking sounds like when they get blasted to pieces since I've done it so much myself. But I really don't like the idea of something other than me blasting 'em that hard. And pretty soon, it's not just a bunch of 'em getting blasted, it's like a fuck ton of 'em. All their dinky little weapons are going pyew pyew pyew and the next second there's this earth-shattering whoosh and then a fucking huge crash and then everything gets quiet. It's like the end of the fucking world.
I'm like maybe it's the blue dweeb? I mean, I can hope, can't I? But I'm no fucking dumbass and I already know it can't be the blue dweeb. I mean, before he starts mopping the floor with Wily-bots, or me, he always asks to be friends first. Whatever's blasting them now isn't asking to be their friend. It's just fucking slaughtering them. Actually, I know what it is and I bet you fucking do too. Of course it's fucking Zero and of course I've just gotta be fucking trapped here in this fucking room. And if he comes here, he's gonna fucking waste me just like he wasted those Wily-bots.
And yeah, it sounds like he's coming this way. I'm like fuuuuck. You will not believe how fucking pissed off I am. I go all berserker and just fucking blast and kick and scream at the walls but of course it doesn't do shit. Then I notice the security camera mounted in the corner of the room, and I tell the old man to fuck himself. I mean, in case he's actually gonna look at this footage later. I fucking lay into him. I tell him exactly what I would've done to him if he'd stayed here instead of being such a narcissistic cocksucking jerk-off. I don't spare any of the gory details.
Meanwhile the noise is getting louder and closer. I kind of brace myself in the farthest corner away from where the sound is coming from. And I'm thinking all kinds of fucking crazy thoughts that never even crossed my mind 'till now. Like what the fuck was it all for? and why me?
And for some reason I remember how Light looked when I left him to face Zero by himself. Like, determined and, like, resigned? At peace? Or some shit like that. I guess it's cause he'd already decided that dying had, like, a meaning to it. Like, he was fine with getting turned into ground meat as long as the blue dweeb and miss perfect and smarty-pants were safe. And in his last moments he was even thinking about how to keep me safe. Well, he fucking failed at that last one. But that's not his fault. It's my own fucking fault.
Then it's like the clouds are parting and the sun is shining down real fucking bright and I see everything real clear again. And I see how one tiny little fucking thing I did, just because I was pissed off at the old man, saved the blue dweeb and the rest of 'em. Like, the universe is like this big fucking pond, and everything we do ripples outward and outward. And in the end the joke's on the old man, because he thinks Zero wasted the blue dweeb, but he didn't. It feels real fucking good to get one over on the old man for once. And that kinda makes me laugh, even though I'm still fucking terrified.
And I'm like, blue dweeb and friends, you'd better show some fucking gratitude for what I've done for you. Like, a statue in my honor would be nice, and it'd be cool if you could worship it once in a while.
And then I hear this crash which is louder than every crash before, and this huge fucking dent in one of the steel doors appears. Then the dent gets deeper. And deeper. Holy fucking shit, Zero's pummeling his way in. I'm fucked no matter what happens, but whatever, I'm gonna fight like hell. I get my blaster ready for the pummeling to end all pummelings. If I'm on top of my game, I might even be able to get a couple of blows in. That's gonna be awesome. Bring it, you motherfucker. I'm fucking ready.
This is gonna be fucking fun.