I Am The Master of Death: A Harry Potter/Avengers One-Shot

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its associated characters: all rights belong to JK Rowling. I do not own Avengers, the MCU or any of its associated characters: all rights belong to Marvel, Marvel Movies and Stan Lee. I do not own any other references used in the story: all rights belong to their original creators.

Plot: One-Shot: So, a true hero falls and the fluke gets to break the rules to suit his own purposes? That was the only way the world could be saved? No, I don't think so! And nor does a force more powerful than the Sorcerer Supreme and the Infinity Stones combined.

Author's Note: So, in a funny style to another one-shot MoD-Harry idea I had, I decided to write this one to go with how I think Endgame should have ended, because, let's face it, they really shot themselves in the foot with that! So, with a little help from our favourite boy-hero, I daresay even Mr Stuck-in-the-War deserves a wake-up call.

Also, suffice to say this will have spoilers for Endgame; you have been warned!

And, as always, don't like it, don't read it.

And now, without further ado, I present to you…

I Am the Master of Death

"I am…inevitable!"


However, when Thanos snapped his fingers, intending to end the Avengers and stop everything that was possibly-likely to stop him executing his Master Plan, a frown crossed the face of the Mad Titan when he noticed how nothing was happening.

That couldn't be right; turning the Infinity Gauntlet to face him revealed why, but when he saw it, Thanos' eyes widened with alarm and disbelief when he saw the six slots intended for the Infinity Stones were now empty.

Looking up from the gauntlet, Thanos' expression became one of amused disbelief and alarm again when he saw Tony Stark, aka Iron Man, hold up his own armoured gauntlet, which was slowly reforming thanks to the nanotech embedded in the suit. However, as well as the self-repairing hand, the gauntlet now had six familiarly-coloured stones fused into the same pattern as the gauntlet that had been on Thanos' arm.

Somehow, Stark had the Infinity Stones in his hands and, judging by the determined, decisive look he gave Thanos, he had no qualms about doing exactly what he did next.

"And I…am…IRON MAN!"


It was, literally, the snap that was heard around the world, if not across the length and breadth of the universe as Tony unleashed the full force of the six stones, his eyes never leaving Thanos even as his will was obeyed by the cosmic, reality-warping powers of the stones.

All around them, the legions of the Mad Titan were being turned into nothing more than piles of dust and ashes, just like how Thanos – or rather, the other Thanos, the one that the Avengers had beheaded in the Garden – had taken away half of all life five years' prior. Well now, the other-other Thanos – the one from before the Vanishing, who'd hijacked a ride thanks to a past-Nebula – was suffering the same fate, watching as everything he'd worked to achieve was turning to dust and ashes in front of him.

And yet, all he could do was sigh and smile before he sat down on an upturned piece of rubble, watching with an almost-distant look in his eyes as everything was reduced to ashes, leaving no trace of anything being there.

Not even Thanos himself, as was evident by how his body was also disintegrating, though as his body succumbed to the Vanishing, he never let his eyes leave Stark's, who looked worse-than-worse for wear, his face gaunt and exhausted while the almost ever-present light in his eyes seemed to dim as he watched Thanos vanish before him.

It was over.

But at a terrible cost…

I Am the Master

One by one, the Avengers watched as their enemies were reduced to nothing more than dust in the wind, every soldier, ship, every member of the Black Order/Children of Thanos – save Past-Nebula and Past-Gamora, for some odd reason – following the examples of the innocents who'd faded away five years ago, including many of the Avengers themselves.

And yet, even Steve Rogers, aka Captain America – aka, the luckiest, most-self-obsessed, one-track-minded, authority's-ass-kissing fluke of a so-called Avenger in the entire MCU – could tell something was wrong with the picture.

This became even more-obvious – even to his stuck-in-the-past sorry excuse for a brain – when a pained cry echoed from the far end of the warzone that was now all that remained of the battle with Thanos.

Leaping over the ruins and rubble, carrying Mjolnir in one hand, Rogers' eyes widened with alarm and horror when he saw what had caused the cry.

Pepper Potts, wearing the plain-silver variation of the armour of Iron Man, was kneeling by her husband's side, tears in her eyes and a look of absolute horror, as well as disbelief, evident in her expression as she looked to Tony, who smiled softly at her before he muttered, "It's okay…you and Morgan…you're safe now."


"It was the only way," muttered Tony, looking past Rogers as he smiled, as best as he could, at Doctor Stephen Strange, who watched with a blank, but sorrowful look in his eyes, "Wasn't it?"

"I told…"

Before Stephen could finish, however, his eyes widened, as did the rest of the Avengers and the Masters of the Mystic Arts who'd come to join in the war with Thanos when an intense wave of ice-cold, worthy of Loki and then some, washed over the field.

At the same time, each and every one of the Masters, especially Doctor Strange, stared in horror, disbelief and no small amount of fear as they saw the eldritch energy from their spells flare up around them, forming a mystic seal that started spinning violently, almost like the world's largest Sling Ring was being used to call forth a force that even the Sorcerer Supreme wouldn't deal with.

"Strange!" snapped Rogers – once again deluding himself into thinking that, just because his name was Captain America, he had the right to bark at everyone and expect them to instantly follow him anywhere, even unto death – rounding on the Sorcerer Supreme as he asked, "What do you think you're doing?"

"This isn't me!" insisted Stephen, but before he could say anything else, his eyes widened while a look of horror filled his eyes when he looked up to see the mystic seal had taken on another form. One that was a triangular shape with a circle and a vertical line stamped over the top of it, all three of which banded together to form a single shaft of black-and-gold light that shot down onto the Earth, almost like the Bifrost Bridge, kicking up a violent dust storm that covered the field in its veil of muck and dirt.

And yet, over the roar of the explosion from the blast, Doctor Strange's voice could be heard and, from what the others could hear, he wasn't just scared…he was terrified and then some!

"Oh no…not him! I thought he doesn't get involved in this sort of thing anymore?"

"Who?" asked Rogers, though before Strange had a chance to answer, Rogers' eyes widened with alarm and disbelief when Mjolnir suddenly flew out of his hand, surging its way through the dust storm before, at the other end of whatever force had summoned it, a loud clap of thunder and a hurricane-like gust of wind blew away the dust storm.

Though not before an amused, but also enraged voice asked, "Now what delusional old bastard decided he was ever worthy of wielding a God's weapon? That's even more-insane than the idea that I would marry someone who looks like my Mum, for Phoenix's sake!"

Through the haze of the remains of the dust cloud, Rogers' eyes widened again while a mixture of shock, disbelief, suspicion, rage and even fear filled the minds of the other Avengers when they saw the owner of the voice.

He was dressed in a suit of skin-hugging, strong-looking leather that was eerily similar to the attire worn by the Sorcerer Supreme, but with a more-armoured look that reminded Rogers of T'Challa's Black Panther armour. Over the top of this suit, the stranger wore a long, flowing black cloak, which was almost the same as the Cloak of Levitation, but this one seemed to ripple like water, each ripple coloured a ghostly shade of silver that made him look like he was enveloped in the grip of winter's shadow.

In one hand, the newcomer now carried Mjolnir, holding it firmly and tightly, as though daring someone to try and take it from him while, in his other hand, he had a long, thin stick, which was oddly-shaped, owing to the berry-like ridges along the shaft. On the ring finger of his left hand – the one holding the stick – the stranger also wore a silver ring with a black diamond in the head while, as the dust cleared, Rogers felt his blood run cold when he saw two piercing, icier-than-ice-cold emerald-green eyes looking right at him.

And yet, despite whatever thoughts might have been running through the newcomer's mind, the only thing he did was scoff before he shook his head, leaving Rogers stewing in his own juices while the stranger walked over to Tony and Pepper, who rose up, one armoured hand raised to the stranger in defence of her husband.

"Stay away from him!"

"Fine," drawled the stranger, shrugging ruefully while he flicked his left wrist, seemingly vanishing the stick in his hand, before he lifted said hand, wiggling his fingers as he added, "If you don't want me to save your husband, Mrs Stark, that's fine. As the good doctor over there put it: I'm not really in the hero business anymore."

With that, the stranger turned on his heel before he added in a louder voice, "Good luck telling Morgan why her Daddy's not coming home, which, apart from the big-time bullshit Strange pulled to make this happen, is the only other reason I'm here anyway, but…you know…good luck to you."

"Who the fuck are you?" hissed Pepper.

"He is Death," replied Wong, now standing next to Stephen as he shared the good doctor's look of terror, though not before he bowed respectfully when the young man turned those eyes on him. "An honour to meet you at last, Milord, but I do not understand. Why are you here?"

"And if you could save Tony, why weren't…" Rogers began, but before he could finish, a look of alarm suddenly crossed his face when he found his voice had vanished, leaving his lips flapping, but nobody could listen to him – not that they did.

"Right then," drawled Death, his green eyes filled with a hint of amusement as he added, "Now the insufferable child over there has finally shut his mouth long enough to let someone else do the talking and make the plans, which don't include masturbating with his uniform and his shield over a nice fucking session with Bucky, but I suppose everyone's got their kinks…"

Rogers' eyes widened with rage and a hint of disbelief as the man identified as Death went on, "How about we get back to the matter at hand? For example, Doctor Strange…"

Before anyone else could get close enough to stop him, Death swung hard with Mjolnir, sending Doctor Strange flying through the air like a ragdoll; at the same time, Death flicked his left wrist, summoning both the Eye of Agamotto and Strange's Cloak of Levitation to him, leaving the Sorcerer Supreme to fall.

Thankfully, Thor was nearby, though he was just as alarmed as everyone else about this; as he flew into the air, catching Strange before any permanent damage could be done, Death drew himself to his full height as he added, "Remind me, you Muggle-born high-functioning sociopath: what is the one thing you and every Sorcerer Supreme know I despise being used to justify your actions?"

"The…the…the Greater Good…" whispered Strange, rubbing his jaw where Mjolnir had smashed into him, though, even Thor was surprised to note the damage wasn't as bad as they thought.

"Bingo," drawled Death.

"But…but Harry…"

"That is not my name anymore and you know it, Sorcerer Supreme!" snarled Death, his green eyes actually turning black in their sockets as he turned before, returning to Tony's side, he looked down at a tearful Pepper as he asked, "So, can I assume you've changed your mind, Mrs Stark?"

"Can…can you…can you actually save him?"

"Easily," drawled Death, or Harry, as Strange had named him, but judging by the air of otherworldly power that rolled off of him, even Pepper could tell that it would be really wrong and stupid to insinuate that was his name, even if she didn't know why he didn't use it anymore.

As Pepper watched, Death kneeled down before, to her shock, he extended his left hand and placed it on top of the armoured gauntlet that was all that was left of the Infinity Stones' vessel. And yet, when Death laid his hand upon the gauntlet, it shimmered and rippled with an unknown power before, to Pepper's amazement, the gauntlet turned a bright, vibrant shade of purest gold, which slowly slithered off of Tony's hand and onto that of Death, including the black ring he wore on his left ring finger.

As the new Infinity Gauntlet was forged and put in place on Death's hand, a collective gasp of disbelief and wonder escaped the Avengers when they saw him rise up before, just as Tony, Bruce and Thanos had done, Death snapped his fingers, his expression impassive.

Stranger-still, the gauntlet didn't even decay with the cosmic force of power that was being sent through it.

As the snap died down, Pepper's eyes widened with alarm and no small amount of relief when a familiar sarcastic drawl filled her ears.

"Mrs Stark, is it my imagination or are you suggesting celebrating our big win here and now?"

"I don't believe it!" gasped Pepper.

"Believe it, Mrs Meldrew," drawled Death, letting his left hand fall while he turned to Stephen, who still looked alarmed and even a little frightened at the idea of what Death was going to do to him, while Death went on. "You know: if you wanted a safe way to deal with Thanos and make sure everything stayed on track, all you had to do was ask, Strange!"

"I…I couldn't," gasped Stephen, watching as his Cloak and the Eye of Agamotto were returned to him, though Death stayed where he was, even as Strange added, "You…your vow…"

"It's my world too," argued Death, lifting the Infinity Gauntlet before he pulled the Soul Stone out of its fixing, holding it between the fingers of the gold gauntlet as he went on in a cool tone of voice, "And this was the original Resurrection Stone, as all Sorcerers Supreme know, especially your lovely lady-friend. Oh, and by the way, in case you're wondering, she was the one to tell me when and where to transport myself after Bruce paid her a visit back in the day."

"But…but I thought…"

"What?" asked Death, looking to the green-skinned man-mountain who spoke up as he asked, "You thought her prediction of staying true to the timeline would stick? Well, you and her were both wrong; in fact, Dr Banner, we're actually living in an alternate timeline right now and all thanks to the ass-backwards, ill-prepared, ill-led plan that he had you going on!"

He pointed to Rogers as he pointed out who was the responsible one while he kept his eyes on Banner as he explained, "You see, five years ago, in case you forgot, you killed Thanos and ended the conflict once and for all. Yes, the world changed because it went down from 6 billion to 3, but, apart from losing the real Avengers and Earth's Real Mightiest Heroes while flukes, losers and one-track-minded freaks of nature got to stick around and stew in the past, but, let's face it, that's all you're really good at, isn't it, Rogers?"

"Hey!" snapped Sam.

"And here's the Robin to Batman to speak out against that," drawled Death, shaking his head as he added, "Do you know something, Sammy? You remind me of my former sidekick: he disappeared during the Vanishing too, you know? Him and my entire world, so, trust me, I felt that, but, unlike some people, I didn't let myself obsess over it."

"You…you're saying the Magical World was gone too?" asked Stephen.

"No," said Death, walking over to Strange as he explained, "Magic's never gone, Strange: I thought she taught you that it's not all about you? Just because Thanos snapped you lot away, it doesn't mean all magic was gone: case in point, the slightly-less-intimidating Thor Odinsson."

While Thor didn't know whether to be embarrassed or angry at the insinuation, Death lifted Mjolnir once again as he added, "Now, I do admire your balls to retrieve your old hammer, Thor, but, just like what today's done, you might as well go ahead and keep it because you're living an alternate life already."

"How do you figure that?" asked Sam.

"Because," answered Death, pointing a golden finger at Rogers, who was still silenced by whatever magic had been used to shut him up, as he explained, "As he will never admit, especially now he can't get away with it because he knows what's going on, but, anyway. As Cadet Rhode Island over there will never admit, he was actually going to use the Stones, and Mr Pym's impressive dimension jumper, to go back…as in all the way back, just so he can finally deal with his obsession with the past. But, guess what, Rogers? If you'd actually accomplished that, you'd have sent us all hurtling into a new timeline again."

Lifting the Infinity Gauntlet, Death drew out the powers of the Time and Reality Stones, using them to create a holographic image of the timeline, which he pointed out each image as he continued, "You see, without Private Alaska to screw things up…sorry, save the day, there probably wouldn't be Avengers. Because, after all, Field Marshall Hawaii's the one who brought you all together…oh, wait: no, that's Fury and with a little nudge from Captain Marvel and the real greatest Avenger…that's Tony, by the way!"

Even the aforementioned Captain looked surprised at Death's admission while said deity went on, "So, while Kitchen Worker Wisconsin would have been perfectly happy betraying his secret love-fetish with Bucky and his thing for metal appendages, just so he could go and make ugly babies with the beautiful Miss Carter and screw up time even further, here and now, more would have gone down the shitter…example: the reunion of the Avengers and the so-called Civil War because one dick couldn't accept the world didn't bow to his whims…again, I'm talking about you, Rogers. I mean, hell, if not for your interference, Loki might even still be alive, since the Tesseract would be safe with SHIELD…well, assuming they are SHIELD and not HYDRA…wow, even Aida and the Framework couldn't make that reality stick without some holes."

Banishing the images, Death folded his arms smugly as he went on, "So, in a nutshell, Sergeant South Dakota, here's a message from someone who does know what the costs are: get over it! What's dead is dead and nothing should ever be judged as being for being for the Greater Good, because then, you have to deal with the Greater Good's own Avenger: me!"

Snapping his fingers again, Death returned Rogers' voice while, looking down at the Infinity Gauntlet, the green-eyed man continued in a cool, but firm tone, "Now, since you've already screwed things up again and will probably be feeling the effects soon enough, I suppose it falls to me, again, to pull the so-called heroes' asses out of the fire…which is why I'm going to do you all a favour."

Using the Stones, and whatever magic he had in him to give him such power to begin with, Death levitated above the heads of the Avengers as he lifted the Gauntlet high into the air as he told them, "Those of you who came from the past, meaning you, Past-Nebula and you, Gamora, will be returned to your own times."

"You c…"

"Peter, shut up!" snapped Death, glaring daggers at Star Lord as he told him, "You gave up any right to argue with me when you squandered and gave up the power that could have been used to beat Thanos yourself just because Dad was a psycho worthy of Umbridge and Riddle combined."

"He does have a point, Quill," drawled Drax, earning a titter from Death as the 'tell-it-like-it-is' warrior added, "You did have the power to contain the Stones and handle them before, but now, you're just…you."

"And they say you never understand," laughed Death, shaking his head amusingly as he added, "A certain blonde I know and love would love you, Drax; anyway, as I was saying, those who came from the past will go back to the past, but since Thanos is gone back then too, I imagine your lives might start taking a turn for the better."

Here, even Tony's eyes widened as he looked up at Death, who smiled before he pointed to the now-recovered Iron Man, "Yes, Tony: you see? This is a real brain in a real hero's mind and not a waste of serum and potential who just happened to get better overnight; because Thanos of back then is gone, he never became the Thanos who took away your friends in the Vanishing."

Here, Death looked down at Thor, "He never killed Loki…which I'm personally thankful for, because I like him."

His gaze then turned to Hawkeye, "Natasha Romanov never had to sacrifice herself, so the Nat from five years ago…well, actually, the Nat from the original life around the time of this Nat's sacrifice, she's still alive and, before too long, you'll find her again."

Then he looked to Wanda, "And the same for Vision: Thanos isn't around to end him for the sake of the Mind Stone, so he'll be back before too long as well. As for what else is different thanks to Corporal Connecticut taking the word of a Back to the Future fan as proof instead of listening to one of the smartest members of the team….well, two, if you count Bruce…but with regards to what else is different, you'll just have to wait and see."

With that, Death turned so he was looking down at Tony and Pepper as he added, "But if you want to do one thing for me, Mr and Mrs Stark, you can make damn well sure you never let that kid think you're going to leave her…and the same to you, Clint: you hold onto what you've got and, no matter your demons, you never let them think they're alone. Because when something comes along to threaten them, your kids, your lives and your loves will need to know…how did you put it to Loki once, Tony?"

"If we can't protect the Earth, you can be damned well sure we'll avenge it," finished Tony.

"And that's why he's the real team leader, hero and best of the best with the Avengers," said Death, lowering himself down to the ground before, looking over at Stephen, he added, "And, just a heads-up, Strange: the next time you decide that the Greater Good's the only way out and you risk everything, but yourself, in making it right, I'll make what Mordo did to Pangborn seem like a love-tap compared to what I'll do to you."

"Wait!" cried Rogers, having to get the last word in – as usual – as he asked, "What…what about the Stones? They can't stay here!"

"They're not, or haven't you been listening, Lieutenant Long Island…oh, wait, that's not a state…Louisiana?"

While Rogers was left stunned, Death patted the Infinity Gauntlet as he told the blue-clad fool, "The Power Stone brought the Guardians of the Galaxy together, so it has to go back. Similarly, the Mind Stone is a necessary thing for Vision to come about, so that's going back to its original time; also, Wanda won't have the experiments that turn her into a damn beautiful sorceress…maybe you should offer her some training, Stephen, which reminds me, I'll also return the Time Stone to the Ancient One, but only because I want you to become the Sorcerer Supreme, because, if you don't, I can't give you a telling off…and I quite enjoy that, but once you do, you might find it mysteriously vanishing and being left with a note saying how safe it is."

"That leaves the Space, Reality and Soul Stones," observed Thor.

"Well, do you want your Mum to die, Thor?"

Unsurprisingly, the Prince of Asgard didn't argue that point, even as Death went on, "As for the Soul Stone, it'll stay where it should have stayed from day damn one: with its rightful wielder, the Master of Death…meaning me! And the same with the Space Stone: once the others have fulfilled their purposes, I'll make sure nobody can misuse their powers or threaten Earth with them again."

Here, Death lifted the Infinity Gauntlet before, to the collective shock of the Avengers, he peeled it off of him as easily as taking off a glove, revealing the black-stone-engraved ring on his finger, which he held up – rather-intentionally, Tony thought – in Rogers' direction before he smiled wolfishly at the dumbfounded look.

"But then again, that's the funny thing about Time Travel, isn't it? You can't tell whether or not I have done it already, can you?"

Before any of the Avengers could respond, Death vanished in a swirling vortex, similar to the one used by Thanos courtesy of the Space Stone.

Leaving just one question on everyone's minds;

'What now?'

Although, in the case of Tony Stark, there was another question to add to that;

"Anyone up for shawarma?"

The adventure is over and I imagine some might wonder what I was on when I came up with this;

Well, nothing, but sheer inspiration and a fan's annoyance for how it all came to a head, so I vented my frustrations with this crack-ish one-shot - yes, I admit it's more or less a crack-fic, but who cares? This is Fanfiction

Also, my bits about Cap - again, a fan's personal hatred of Captain America and the way he's portrayed: hey, we all have our dislikes - are pretty sound because, if you think about it, it's right.

Cap went back and 'lived some of that life Tony always talked about' so they NEVER searched for the frozen Capsicle, so he never became part of the Avengers and never got involved - read: obsessed - with Civil War, Hydra's resurgence or anything he screwed up...sorry, helped and he never had his arguments with Tony.

Who knows? He might even still be frozen down there while Old Cap had his 'farewell' at the end of Endgame, who knows?

That's time travel for you and yet none of the MCU seemed to realise that