There are, few things that make me feel. I'll be blunt about this and say I'm emotionally stunted. What others find hilarious I find insulting. Where most find joy I find apathy. The one thing I feel in great amounts MORE than other people, is sadness. I can brush off the murder of a rapist, I can look a bad leader in the eye and tell him honestly that he's a failure and that everything he's doing will only make situations worse and not solve problems.
But I read something today, an old fanfiction I had a soft spot for regardless of it's imperfections. I didn't know what to expect, I had no clue what was waiting for me at the very end of the fanfiction. It was a goodbye note.
Reading the chapter title I thought to myself "great, another good author ran off by shit flinging TROLLS who get their rocks off by insulting people millenia better than they are." But as I read the note I realized, this was something different.
I still don't know how, but this author "rinsegaku" knew. He was going to die. The "XxXxXxXx" indicates the beginning AND end of rinsegaku's final message. I'm just glad I found it.
If you're reading this, first Hi! Yeah, it's me again after whatever time passed between my last update and this short message, I'm sorry, and I'm even sorrier because this is actually a goodbye, my brother should be uploading this sometime after I've written it but the sentiment is still fresh.
By the time you're reading this, I should be gone. Like dead gone… surprise!
I know, I know, this is not something I should be making fun of, but I never liked the idea of people being sad because of me and I don't want this to change that.
Thank you all for all this wonderful time we kinda spent together through that little piece of me that is my works, and I hope you can use them to build something else entirely, something bigger and better because the ideas are there, I won't take them with me, and I give permission to everybody to use them as they see fit.
There are some other tidbits of works I worked on and never got around to expand or new chapters I never published so those will be uploaded together, hope you can jump there and see what would have happened with this stories at some point, what could have happened, or what I had in mind for other works, and again, those are also free for everyone to use, so enjoy!
Again, thank all of you, and you two dear friends of mine, Sony, Lizzy, I'm sorry I distanced myself so suddenly and I hope I got to say goodbye personally, but if not, just know I've always considered you two between the few people I could call real friends, even if we never really met personally, and that I hope things get better for you two. Who knows what happens next? Maybe we'll get to meet again, I sure hope so.
Well, this is it, goodbye everyone, hope you have good life's ahead of you and longer lives too. See ya.
I don't know how he or she died, I don't know WHY they died. But the fact this was once a living breathing person…. It breaks my heart.
Deep in the furthest reaches of my heart, a place I'm terrified to tread because I know what lurks there, I HATE humanity. I hate it's selfishness, their cold apathy to the living things around them. I especially hate how we treat each other, I hate how we can bury our heads in the sand and IGNORE all of the problems we COULD be solving if we set aside our pride and worked toward a common goal. The advancement of the human race.
But deep down, I know why I hate these things about humanity. It's because I love them. If there's a single word to describe us humans, it would be "contradiction" WE are contradictions. When others tell us to stand DOWN we stand UP, when life pushes US we push BACK, when the chips are down a spark starts a roaring fire that brings forth change that benefits EVERYONE.
When I read the story "lost between a fairy and leaves by rinsegaku" I loved the story. I did, I stuck with it to the end. But when i read the half completed fic in a single day, ending with that message I KNEW that rinsegaku was JUST like his character in his fic. He cared deeply about his friends and family, be cared DEEPLY about others even when they likely didn't deserve it. I honestly don't think I could be half as forgiving as I believe this person to be.
I DO NOT know rinsegaku personally. But after reading his fic and his last message? I truly wish, that I did. I wish I knew enough words to describe how much I want to get to know this person. But I can't do that, not anymore.
I'm just a random reader who was deeply touched by rinsegaku's words. Even now, I cry for the first time in a decade, at the loss of opportunity to know such a wonderful, warm person that rinsegaku MUST have been. When i feel, i DO NOT feel lightly or for JUST anyone.
So this is to announce a few things. I WILL be reposting the story "Lost between a fairy and leaves" this is my way to honor him. This is NOT like the other times I've written fics. The fics I wrote in the past were hollow and empty shells DEVOID of emotion and personal meaning.
I may fail at depicting naruto the way rinsegaku saw him in his story. But I am DAMN sure gonna try.
I urge readers EVERYWHERE, to pick up a tablet, sit at a computer or write on a piece of paper a work of art worthy of this person. His words touched me, I hope they touch you to.
I'm a broken shell of a man, but even I am not heartless to someone like this. Rest well rinsegaku, may your sleep be undisturbed eternal and rewarding. I hope to see you in the next life, whatever that brings. To the family of rinsegaku, I know it's late. I apologize for any old wounds this message reopens. I wish you peace of mind, heart and spirit for your lost family.
Being the emotionally broken person I am, I could never understand the pain you are feeling, but rinsegaku awoke something in me I didn't know was there. I will always be thankful to him or her for that and wish dearly that I could have had the chance to tell them that in person. I can't promise I well written story in honor of rinsegaku, but I won't just sit here and not make something to remember them by.
The story will NOT be altered anyway, shape or form from chapter one to the final goodbye. Everything beyond that point will be what I put together with educated guesses, psychological profiling however inaccurate it may be and my own personal twist to show my appreciation for rinsegaku.
Happy Thanksgiving, please in honor of this wonderful person, pull your family close and be thankful that you still have them.