Hi! It's been ages since I last updated but strangely, amidst all this chaos, I had the will and muse to pick this fanfiction back up. And I wrote down some notes regarding the fic- back when I had muse for it.
So I think most of all I'd like to say that I wrote Marianne's POV as I would any other teenage character, with just a bit more of a formal tone and clearly her perspectives. Even though I'm smart, I'm not smart to the point where my writing will echo a more experienced author's. I'm a high school sophomore who writes fanfiction and roleplays, so it won't be the best out there.
And I'm writing her relationship with Jeanine as I'd imagine it'd be- the two love each other, but they're both so self-driven and prideful to where arguments tend to spiral out of control. And for the most part, she addresses her mother as Mom, but in her POV calls her Jeanine just to show Marianne's sense of respect and obedience.
Marianne's divergence, also, is fairly weak. In the second movie (which isn't at all like the book, I know), where they have the senors, she'd likely receive a rating of about 25%. Her true aptitude, which will never be mentioned in this fanfiction, is for Erudite and Dauntless, though it heavily sways towards Erudite.
I no longer have muse for this particular version of the fic- I think I'm going to rewrite it on Wattpad, so if you want to check that out I'm under the same name on there.
It was the morning of my first exam, and needless to say, I was stressed out beyond belief. Not even chamomile tea could calm my nerves. There I was- Marianne Jane Matthews, one of the most intelligent teenage minds- worried over a test. Granted, I would do fine. My mother would make sure to put me where I belonged. But there was always a possibility that I might fail, one that lurked over my head. I wouldn't expect my mother to show any failed student mercy- not even to me, her own daughter. I laid in bed for five minutes before my alarm was to go off, mind lost in thought before I took deep breaths. It was going to be alright- I was a Matthews, and I needed to remember that.
To the exams, I would wear a blue patterned skirt, paired with a white buttoned shirt which I tucked in, and on my feet were a pair of blue slip-on sneakers. My hair was in a ponytail, the messy curls at the bottom dangling down. I wore the glasses provided to me, though I would need to take them off during the exam (I did not need the glasses, but it was custom for the Erudite to wear them). To anyone else, I might've looked over the top and preppy. But overall my outfit was more comfortable than cute, so I didn't mind too much.
My morning routine almost never changed; wake up, change out of my pajamas, eat and have a cup of tea, fix my hair, and brush my teeth, before finding my way to whatever I needed to get done for the day. Jeanine wasn't there that morning- a shocker, I know. Instead, she left me a handwritten note with four words written on it in her hurried handwriting. It read, "Good luck. Love you." I took the paper, folded it carefully, and stuck it into my bra (while I did want it with me, I knew any alien piece of paper was subject to inspection and could potentially land a failure due to "cheating," so my bra seemed like the only logical place to keep it).
About thirty minutes after my alarm went off, I was out the door. It was 8:30 am, my exams in an hour. It was close to a fifteen-minute trek from our apartment to the schooling areas, and I wanted to be there extra early to "ensure my success," as Jeanine always seemed to say. Better to be safe than sorry.
I kept a steady pace, but inside my mind was racing. I wasn't all too focused on where I was going, only that I needed to get there, which was quite silly, actually, because I did tend to be more clumsy than not. I was desperately trying to recall formulas, facts- whatever my head could muster.
Almost out of nowhere came another person, coming from behind and knocking me down. As I fell, I let out a cry, before landing on the ground. "Damnit…" I mumbled, before picking up my small bag. I then went to help the other person, eyes focused on the ground as I did so.
"I'm so sorry…" I recognized that voice…
"No, you're completely alright!"
I looked up, only to see Adrian. Out of self-consciousness, I reached to my face to move an invisible, nonexistent piece of hair. Adrian too looked up, and upon seeing me offered a soft smile. I frowned, utterly confused with what to do with this situation. I'd made a fool of myself those few weeks ago, and facing my mistake now, minutes away from my exams, was not what I needed.
"It's been quite a while, Miss Matthews," Adrian's lips curled into a smirk.
"Has it? I completely forgot about you," I retorted, before getting to my feet again. I began walking again, the urge to get away all too strong. I absolutely hated my occasional stupidity, and facing my foolishness was utterly horrible!
"Are you headed to your exams?" Adrian followed and continued on as if I'd never said anything rude. "I'm scheduled for the later block of them, at two-thirty."
"Yes I am, so leave me be."
Adrian let out a dramatic sigh. "Hey, I just wanted to wish Miss Genius here good luck."
"Thank you, but do you realize how this is uncalled for? I insulted you all those weeks ago-"
"A little over a week."
"Right- a little over a week ago- but the reality is that you should be angry! You're supposed to not want to talk to me? Look, Adrian- I don't need your kind words right now, I just need the ability to focus on my work, and you're preventing me from doing so!"
"You're saying utter bullshit!"
I scoffed, "Excuse me?"
"Can't you see that I don't give a crap about what you said to me a week or so ago? We all make mistakes, right? You included. And don't think about me, just focus on the exams. You're kind of like an insane… smart, AI."
"I beg your pardon! Just so you know, Adrian, it's possible to have a high IQ and still be perfectly human!" There was nothing more that he could say to possibly further anger me. "If you'll excuse me, I must get to my exams!"
"Damn, okay, I'll back off," Adrian sighed, "Nice seeing you then." He began to walk another way, leaving me in a state of utter- dammit, I'd made a fool of myself again! I kept walking, anxious… and stressed… and I seriously needed a breather. I arrived at the exam room roughly forty minutes before it was to begin, passing a check upon entry and taking my seat at my assigned desk. To calm myself, I did a mixture of deep breathing and meditation. By the time the test began, Adrian was in the back of my head. I silently thanked my mother's techniques of focus before receiving my test and beginning to work.
I was prepared for everything on the paper. Thank god there wasn't a section on relationships.
I was one of the first to finish. Finishing tests early was not something to pride oneself on, as Jeanine constantly reminded me, but I tended to do so anyway. Once I handed in my test I was allowed to leave, but the terms we were given lurked in my mind. For one, I was not allowed to disclose any of the questions or answers to anyone, nor was I allowed to mention the format.
I walked back to the apartment, before kicking back and taking a deep breath on the couch. I'd done it. It was over. And now I could finally get the relaxation I deserved. But all too quickly-
"Marianne, are you home already?" Jeanine hadn't been at work. I should've known. There was some hesitance- but I soon found the words to form an extremely weak sort of reply.
"Yes I am!" I replied quickly, closing my eyes to brace myself. Why did every conversation between the two of us feel like a burden? Perhaps it was just the natural order of things, at this point in time. I had stress pushing in on me from all sides- academics, love, and family. Someday I might just figure it out.
Ahh such an abrupt end- maybe at some point I'll pick this back up again, but I think I'm going to attempt a rewrite.