The birth

Mini was officially having the worst time of her life. Including the time when she let Liv help her bleach her hair when they were thirteen, and she ended up with Shrek-coloured curls. She wished to God that little bitch would pop out already; it must be fucking late. The midwife (who happened to have lush eyeliner) told her that it had only been an hour since her first contraction, which was a pile of bullshit. As Mini told her between screams that shook the windowpanes.

Alo was also shitting himself, although perhaps not literally like Mini was. The minute Nick ran into the room to tell him Mini was about to drop their fucking baby, a concoction of chips and Budweiser almost made an appearance. But the 'First Dad's Guide' that he'd stolen from the library said that he must 'remain calm at all times'. What made no sense, was that it also said that it was 'normal to panic'- how the fuck could he panic and be calm at the same time?

He wasn't going to lie- the thought of seeing his girlfriend's vagina split open and a baby slowly slither its way out made him freak the fuck out. But now that it was actually happening, he couldn't give less of a shit- all he wanted was Mini and his daughter to be okay. His daughter. He still couldn't believe he was having a kid- he'd already envisioned bike riding, Christmas and endless Star Wars marathons. He was desperate for Mini to let him name her Leia.

He'd seen Mini lose her shit plenty of times, mostly in fits of rage that involved lobbing stilettos at whoever was pissing her off. This was different; her face was screwed up in a rictus of pain, she was making horrible inhumane sounds. They certainly didn't show this on Corrie whenever someone gave birth; a bit of screaming, doctors poking, then hey presto a baby cries. What a sack of shit.

Mini couldn't even describe the fucking pain she was in. She could only relate it to the world's worst period, along with the diarrhoea you get after a curry. Essentially, it was complete agony.

'Come on Mins, you can do it, keep pushing, you got this,' Liv said.

Mini had never, ever in her life been more jealous of someone than she was of Liv at that moment. She wasn't lying there, soaked in sweat, hair glued to her forehead. Liv wasn't about to push a fucking bowling ball out of her hole, was she? Alo was gripping her hand, talking about something to distract her. She couldn't hear what he was saying- probably some shit about Star Wars.

'Come on now love, you're fully dilated. She'll be here soon, keep at it,' the midwife said.

Pushing, crying, screaming, Alo bricking it, it seemed like it would never end….

Then, with a gush of random gross stuff, she was born. Her sharp cries echoed through the room. It's strange how a sound that is meant to be sad, brings so much joy. Even to a couple of seventeen-year-olds, who used to only care about spliffs, shagging and chips.

Thanks for reading!