Blair has everything she doesn't, physically. She can't help but compare. She can't get any of it out of her mind. A chest she envies. Wide hips she wishes she had. Blair is unquestionably beautiful. Attractive. Something someone wants, or desires. What about her? She's built like a rectangular twig. She's spent most of the days huddled in her room, trying to sleep as much as possible. The rest she just spends studying for an exam that won't be coming. She lies down, sleeps, wakes up, and mulls about like a robot. Day in, day out. She can feel everything getting worse, and she doesn't know how long she can take it. She writes down her thoughts in a journal, but it never seems to help except temporarily. With cloudy eyes and tired hands, she sits on the couch jotting down whatever comes to mind. Sometimes, she sways from the path.
"Do you need something…?"
Maka catches herself staring a bit too late. Too late to whip her head around to her notebook. She tries, of course. She can't even make out any of the words or letters, they all blur into a bunch of indistinct shapes and nonsensical characters. Her face is running red, and she fumbles her words trying to find something to say.
"N-no, nothing… just tired."
Blair tilts her head, before blowing her a kiss. "Get some sleep! Take a catnap! Nya!"
It makes Maka smile for a second, enough time for Blair to walk out of the room. It fades just as quick. She realizes that she can't ever tell Blair about any of this. Nor anyone else really. She doesn't suppose any of them would understand. She runs through the page, reading it to herself in her mind. None of it makes much sense, it's little more than a constant stream of thought barely strung together by a common thread. She writes it above the paragraphs, something of a title:
I want to be someone else.
She'll eventually return to her room, and repeat the same schedule. Day in, and day out.