(Clips of past movies are shown.)

Narrator: "...in the entire genre of Sci-Fi, no family is as dysfunctional, as the Skywalkers."

(Cut to scene with Chux and Kabob.)

Kabob: "You know what? Iʼm done! Iʼm done with all this falling in love biz, Chux, I know what I want for my birthday, and thatʼs...to KILL HER!"

(Chux gasps.)

Kabob: "And no matter how hot she looks, I ainʼt fallinʼ for her! Nope!"

Narrator: "But this Holiday Season..."

(Cue "Bad Reputation" by Joan Jett. Scene with Rey and Finn

gathering an army to fight Kabob.)

Rey: "Alright, guys, lets SUIT UP!"

(Arch approaches them.)

Finn: "Arch?"

Arch: "Iʼm COMING with you guys, I will NOT BE A DOORMAT, ANY

LONGER!"

Finn: "Arenʼt you like, all etiquette and protocol?"

(Arch immediately twirls and fires a blaster gun at the wall, Finn and Rey duck.)

Arch: "(slowly moves smoking gun away from face)...etiquette and protocol THIS!"

(Finn and Rey look at each other, both surprised and scared at Arch-3p0ʼs newfound confidence.)

Narrator: "...the greatest sci-fi story of all time will come to an end."

Ghost! Cuke: "AWWW MAN! Is it over already?!"

(Random rapid-fire clips are shown of epic battle scenes. Cut to Finn and Rey doing epic battle cries.)

Finn: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Rey: "—AAAAAAAAA!"

(Cut to Kabob screaming back.)

Kabob: "AAAAAAAAAA!"

(Cut to stage lights flashing on Chux while dancing and wearing a Michael Jackson-style "Thriller" costume.)

Chux: "SHA-MONE!"

VT STAR WARS: ITʼS GONNA BE REY...

(Cut to a scene where Rey, Finn, and the others are fighting.)

Rey: "THIS IS REY, I NEED BACKUP, YOU GUYS!"

Kabob: "Oh, Iʼm so scared..."

(Brief rasta instrumental. Enter Jannah, a new character to the series. She is a broccoli with dreads.)

Jannah: "...backup? NO PROBʼLEM, MON!"

(A new droid, D-0 appears behind her.)

Rey: "Okay, now the PIXAR LAMP IS IN ON THIS?!"

"It ainʼt over tillʼ itʼs over!"

Coming Soon...