(Clips of past movies are shown.)
Narrator: "...in the entire genre of Sci-Fi, no family is as dysfunctional, as the Skywalkers."
(Cut to scene with Chux and Kabob.)
Kabob: "You know what? Iʼm done! Iʼm done with all this falling in love biz, Chux, I know what I want for my birthday, and thatʼs...to KILL HER!"
Kabob: "And no matter how hot she looks, I ainʼt fallinʼ for her! Nope!"
Narrator: "But this Holiday Season..."
(Cue "Bad Reputation" by Joan Jett. Scene with Rey and Finn
gathering an army to fight Kabob.)
Rey: "Alright, guys, lets SUIT UP!"
(Arch approaches them.)
Arch: "Iʼm COMING with you guys, I will NOT BE A DOORMAT, ANY
Finn: "Arenʼt you like, all etiquette and protocol?"
(Arch immediately twirls and fires a blaster gun at the wall, Finn and Rey duck.)
Arch: "(slowly moves smoking gun away from face)...etiquette and protocol THIS!"
(Finn and Rey look at each other, both surprised and scared at Arch-3p0ʼs newfound confidence.)
Narrator: "...the greatest sci-fi story of all time will come to an end."
Ghost! Cuke: "AWWW MAN! Is it over already?!"
(Random rapid-fire clips are shown of epic battle scenes. Cut to Finn and Rey doing epic battle cries.)
(Cut to Kabob screaming back.)
(Cut to stage lights flashing on Chux while dancing and wearing a Michael Jackson-style "Thriller" costume.)
VT STAR WARS: ITʼS GONNA BE REY...
(Cut to a scene where Rey, Finn, and the others are fighting.)
Rey: "THIS IS REY, I NEED BACKUP, YOU GUYS!"
Kabob: "Oh, Iʼm so scared..."
(Brief rasta instrumental. Enter Jannah, a new character to the series. She is a broccoli with dreads.)
Jannah: "...backup? NO PROBʼLEM, MON!"
(A new droid, D-0 appears behind her.)
Rey: "Okay, now the PIXAR LAMP IS IN ON THIS?!"
"It ainʼt over tillʼ itʼs over!"