Three months until the wedding




You would think that over the years I would have learned to ignore the magazines at the check-out line, but here I was waiting on the line to move forward. I also have a tendency to google myself now and again. I was having the best season of my career, and all anyone could focus on was my stepsister's impending nuptials. Marti was still calling me about three times a day making sure I hadn't committed some form of suicide. Every time she asks me if I'm okay, and every time I say yes. Yet the entirety of my received call list is from Smarti with the occasional Casey. I loath the fact that I live for those calls. I hate that part of myself that still wishes for her to change her mind so that I can be happy. That selfish part of myself that still craves her attention, even for however little that amount of time is.

I used to regret my inaction, second guess what could have been. But what ifs are for dreamers. I've never been a dreamer, but this loving someone for half your life, and watching them marry someone else, is a special kind of nightmare.

And. I. Can't. Wake. Up.

"Pink. Seriously Nora did it have to be pink?" I asked as I put on the tie.

"It's what she wants Derek, you know she's been planning this her whole life." Nora responded.

"Somehow I don't think she imagined ME in the wedding." I chuckled as I began tying my shoes after finishing my last fitting. Nora gave me an unreadable look, then shook her head as if to clear her head. At that moment I realize Marti probably wasn't the only family member that was team Dasey. I'm not sure if I feel better or worse at that realization.

"Maybe not, but you of all people belong at the end of that aisle. You too never do anything important apart." Nora replied with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. Yep she was definitely team Dasey.

We walked out the door and Nora headed to her car with a wave, after all these years I would be utterly lost without my Stepmother. She was there for me in way that Abby never was.

I waved back when I heard my phone ringing, I took it out of my phone and answered it, "Jeez Smarti, I swear I'm not going to slit my wrists!"

"Why would you slit your wrists?" a female voice that was distinctly not Marti.

"Just got done with suit fitting, you know how much I hate shopping." I responded coolly I really was Lord of the Lies. I guess some things never really change.

"D wearing a pink tie is not going to kill you, you can take it off right after pictures." She laughed reminding them both of another conversation from years ago.

"You owe me a drink McDonald, and at least two casseroles." I replied with a sigh.

God I am going to miss her.

Senior Year at Queens

Casey walked in the front door of their shared apartment after finishing her he last final ever. Well… undergrad she still had to get through her master's in creative writing.

"Honey I'm home!" she yelled in her best Ricky Ricardo impression.

"Hello Love, I'm sorry I don't have dinner on the table…" he walked out of the kitchen and was met with one of the biggest smiles he'd ever seen on her face. "I'm guessing the final went well?"

"Yes! I'm officially done with my undergrad degree!" She yelled as she jumped into his arms and he spun her around. When he put her back on her feet, she put her hands on his shoulders and had a panicked look cross her face. "What am I going to wear to graduation!/? It's only a few weeks away!"

"Just do what I'm going to do jeans and a Queens hoodie." He responded with the smirk that had practically be glued to his face since the day he was born.

"DE-REK You will not be wearing jeans and you will be at least wearing a button up with a tie" she half yelled.

"But Caseyyy no ties! I hate those things." He whined.

"D wearing a tie is not going to kill you, you can take it off right after pictures." She pleaded.

"You aren't going to budge on this are you?" He asked learning over the past four years that he should choose his real battles. It was fine to argue over the remote, but when it was super important to her and of no consequence to him, he'd let her have it.

"Not even a little." She replied with a smile knowing that she won.

"You owe me a drink McDonald, and at least two casseroles." He sighed. God he was going to miss her when he moved to Toronto for training and she stayed for her masters.

He was going to miss her.