7AN: Just experimenting on Romance.
Chapter 1 - Children
Like every bad consequence in one's every bad decision, it all began beautifully fast. It began, well it all began with a kiss. One moment, the love of her life was kissing her and in her shock, she stood there motionless, unable to match reality to dream.
Irie-kun...Irie-kun has always been like a storm to her. Despite his icy disposition, Irie-kun was a ball of fire to her. He always knew how to ignite her in flames whether in embarrassment, in furious anger, in pain and of course, in love.
He grabbed her and pulled her into an endarkened alley where they argued their usual. He was angry at her for revealing his childhood pictures, and she was angry at him for belittling her and her friends.
Deep down, she confessed she loved the way his grey eyes bored only to her when they fought. She loved their intensity every time he deigned to look down on her and if she focuses only on that, she can almost block out the disparaging words that come out of his perfect mouth.
Irie-kun's eyes burned and glinted in the dark, shining a light that came from nowhere else but from within him.
When he pulled away, his eyes looked changed and a different kind of fire ignited within her. When he bent to capture her lips again, he was gentle and she trusted him enough to let herself drown in him.
In the shadows of the night where scornful eyes cannot see, the two of them fell in a love spell that neither of them wanted to untangle themselves from. Away from the crowd, they became true to what they really felt for each other - a love so strong it overpowered logical thought.
It all began with a spiteful kiss to shut her up and ended with her locked in his heated embrace, his body strong and marvelous above her. His hair was in disarray; lips swollen with her kiss and cheeks tinged red. He looked ready to combust but he never looked more beautiful to her than ever.
To love is to hurt and the first time he showed what his love entailed, she was in pain the whole time and it never stopped until he did. But hope was a powerful thing. It burned brightly at the back of her mind and she let herself drift away in a dream where a new beginning for them bloomed anew.
But a dream can quickly turn into a nightmare.
''Kotoko…I…'' All of a sudden, the love of her life wrenched himself free of her and the cold rushed in. He pulled his pants quickly; his movements ungraceful. When she didn't move, he'd dressed her up with trembling hands and wiped the strange fluids trickling down her thighs with his sleeve. His hands felt cold as ice. He mumbled something that sounded like an apology but Kotoko can't hear much over the loud furious beating of her heart.
He ran his hand up his brown shaggy hair, jaws tensed and his eyes searching their surroundings. His feet shuffled and his hands that were just holding her so lovingly a scant minutes ago were tightened into fists. His forehead glistened with sweat despite the frosty air and for once, he couldn't look at her in the eye.
''What's...what's happening…'' she mumbled to herself. Her mind slowly speeding up, catching on. In the movies, the couple would kiss some more, declare their love for each other and then snuggle into bed. But Kotoko finally realised they had no bed. All she had was a hidden snicket, overcasted by a frame of construction wood and structured steel, large buckets of trash, and a hard wall.
At a lost, all she could suddenly think of was her father.
Her Irie-kun uttered her name softly and she thought that it was the same kind of tone her father used once - when he explained how her mother died. A wave of revulsion rose within her slowly. The heat he inspired this time felt greasy on her skin.
''Go away,'' she whispered. He tensed up as if fighting the urge to do just as she said. She saw his hand come up as if to touch her. Her heart leaped with hope but he withdrew his hand back and she knew everything was wrong.
She closed her burning eyes, unable to see any part of him anymore. All she felt was ice. She wanted to be home and wake up to find this all a nightmare and then she would learn her lesson and cease to love him. ''Just please leave me.'' The numbness started to fade; the pain materialising.
''Koto-''
Swallowing her ruined pride and steeling herself from the pain she knew would come, she forced her weak legs to walk away from him. She heard him call her name again but he didn't come after her.
In the shadow of the night, she mistook them as lovers when in actuality they were naught but children.
All the way to her room, she ignored how the pain has escalated into a burn between her legs and forced her gait to be as steady as she can. She'd wrapped her school jacket around her waist to hide the faded pink stain on her pale thighs. If worse comes to worst, surely people will just think she had an 'accident' which would not have been far from the truth. She bit her lip all the way home and ignored the taxi driver's query about her health.
At home, she smiled and bidded everyone goodnight, refused any refreshments and jumped straight to the bathroom. She didn't cry until she was safe under the covers of her bed.
The next morning, she sneaked out and dumped her soiled clothes into their neighbour's garbage bin a few houses down the road. She didn't dare utter a word at him, nor look at him in the eye. He was the same. Everyone, of course took notice and assumed they were fighting again.
No one knew she had sinned and brought dishonour to her father. If her dad knew…
She was in a daze the following weeks afterwards. For a short time, she thought everything was going to be fine. Her father and her uncle continued to be friends. There were no shrieks of horror coming from her auntie and even Yuki seemed quiet nowadays, watching his brother and sometimes her silently. Kotoko avoided them both because of this. Yuki's suspicion made her more nervous.
Everything was back to normal as she dreamed. She started college and sat with her friends. She avoided Irie-kun at all costs and ignored the comments she couldn't help but hear about him hanging around with some girl called ''Matsumoto'' during tennis. She also ignored how she can sometimes feel him looking at her.
She smiled until she felt like it was all natural. She met new people and sat beside new classmates. She ignored Kin. She started feeling a little sick. She thought it was a flu due to the change of seasons, or maybe a result of all the stress she has gone through lately.
It was nothing to worry about until she spotted a pregnant woman outside of the coffee shop she and her friends were sitting at one afternoon. Kotoko's turned to stone and despite wanting to rush to the nearest clinic, she was too stunned and horrified to move. She hoped to herself that surely fate wouldn't be too cruel.
Her next thought was to get rid of it.
''Kotoko…Are you really okay?'' One of her best friend, Jinko asked, placing a tentative hand on her arm. ''We know there's something wrong but we can't wait for you to open up anymore.'' Her two friends shared a look at each other. ''Please tell us?''
''Jinko…Satomi…''
They shuffled closer towards her, eager to listen and determined to help but Kotoko feared their judgement. Kotoko was scared they will shun her and dispose her; never to talk to her again. After all, Kotoko was very very far from marriage and she was a girl who lost her virginity against a wall in some alley like she was...like she was...
Satomi reached over and held her hand. The air around them grew heavy and stifling.
Jinko glanced up and saw a waiter looking intent to come to their table. Kotoko curled up even smaller in her seat, starting to cry. Jinko let out a growl and shook her head at the waiter who immediately spun on his heel and walked away.
''He's gone now.''
''Jinko.'' Kotoko whimpered. She pulled her cold hands from her friends and clasped them against her stomach. ''Satomi…''
''Kotoko. What is it? Did that idiot-Irie say something again?! What did he do!''
''Kotoko.''
Her dear friends, Jinko and Satomi who had been with her since childhood looked ready to cry. Jinko looked ready to declare war, nearly bristling on her seat while Satomi clutched her arm, tears daintily falling from her eyes. She was so sad and scared that Kotoko couldn't help but let out a disbelieving laugh. They had been through so many things together, shared so much laughter and pranks together. Kotoko thought that whatever happens, she would always treasure them.
So she told them it hurt. She told them how hard it was to remain as normal as she can. She told them she disposed all evidence of her sin. She told them she got rid of everything. Everything.
''I'm pregnant.'' The words fell on them like doom.
.