Naruko stared at the intruder who looked like her for a few more moments before unsealing a sake bottle from a tatoo on her bandaged arm. Fuck it, if she was going to deal with shit, she'd rather not do it sober. The male's eyes followed her form as she moved until she was sitting on the chair opposite the one he was on.
Taking a heavy swig of the bottle, she looked the other guy in the face "Who the hell are you?"
The male smiled the trollish smile many had come to hate him for "I'm you from a different dimension."
One would think that hearing something like that would be shocking and unbelievable, but after facing off against dead people who were brought to life by sacrificing living people whose bodies were used by the dead ones, suffering confusing plot twists like a teacher's long dead teammate who was actually alive and had been responsible for more or less every bad thing that happened to her, finding out that she was the transmigrant of her rival's ancestor's little brother, meeting a ninja fairy tale character, fighting her spiritual grandmother, and watching two creepy stalkers unite in disturbing matrimony (she nearly gagged when she watched hinata pop hanabi's eyes back in toneri's skull like wedding rings or were they wedding eyes?), she could easily say that big things didn't faze her anymore.
She took another swig "Any reason why you're here? From the books I've read, people don't just travel dimensions to say hello to their counterparts".
Naruto's smile grew wider " I have come to carry out a very important act"
" I've come to seduce you"
"You heard me"
Naruko stared bug eyed at the still smiling guy who looked who looked about two years her senior. Inwardly, she began to think this was another of sasuke's 'seduce the strongest female i know so she can give me ultra-strong uchiha babies' plan. gods knew he had been frustrating her with his constant attempts while ignoring sakura who would happily suck him dry if he told her he had a boner.
She took another swig of her sake hoping it would take away her throbbing headache. 'I just want to eat ramen and sleep 'ttebayo'. " Quick question, where did i just come back from?"
Naruto raised an eyebrow at her obvious attempt to check his sincerity" The moon, where you helped two creeps get married. In my world though, hinata confessed her love for me and gave a speech about how she stalked me around. I hadn't been so annoyed in my life. "
"I know right, I honestly thought she was a lesbian with how she followed me around. I'm not ungrateful to her for helping me with pein but she stalked me, man"
"I know what you mean, imagine being followed around by someone who can see through clothes, she probably saw me go through puberty down to the hormonal level"
"Even more annoying is that I got insulted for not bringing her back, i mean, who would willingly ignore a free opportunity to rid oneself of a stalker. To make it worse, i still deal with sasuke wanting me to help him revive his clan. I don't even like him that way"
"Oh, sasuke in my world is dead"
" I offed him at the valley of the end"
" Is that why you have the rinnegan and a black eye?"
"Yup, fucker threw lightning senbon into my eyes with the hopes it would pierce through my brain".
"Yeah, it hurt but kurama's remaining chakra helped me out in the fight, advanced awareness and all that"
Naruko pouted " I didn't have that when i fought the bastard"
"Don't feel sad, it took my eyes getting chidori senboned for it to focus on my sixth sense"
" Oh, this may sound strange but did you take sasuke's eyes before or after he croaked"
"I took it after, he would amaterasu himself if he knew what I was going to do just to spite me"
"Yeah, that sounds like sasuke" 'Kurama, did the other me lie about anything he said?'
The bijuu yawned, his initial interest in the situation already gone 'Nope, he's telling the truth, i established a connection with the other me in him, from what other me had in his memories, he did come to this universe to do what he said'
'Why would he want to sleep with me? Wouldn't it be considered selfcest and spiritual incest? We are the same person and ashura's transmigrants'
Kurama smirked 'Its technically yaoi'.
Naruko's closet fujoshi side flared to life. 'Mmm, yaoi'
Naruto looked at his counterpart in slight disgust. The fact that she only got turned on by the thought of them acting out yaoi was a bit of a turn off, but he wouldn't be deterred, the way of the ultimate troll-pervert required that one's perversion must only be limited by gender and age. It was too late to back down.
Naruko looked up to meet her counterparts mismatched eyes " Kurama says we're acting out yaoi, is this true?"
Sob* All for the greater good "... Technically"
"I see.. my name's Naruko"
Naruko jumped off the chair and onto her male self's laps, knocking them both off the chair. She quickly straddled his hips and covered his mouth with hers. Naruto rolled them over so he was atop. Clothes went off and they only spoke dirty.
2 hours later*
Uchiha sasuke walked to his future bride's house( choosing to ignore the fact that she said no multiple times) with a smug smirk on his pale face. Today, he was going to win her heart, he had learned all the pick up lines from suigetsu and he had tried them all on various girls who swooned. If so many girls were charmed, who was Naruko? He had asked many times and a girl could only say no for so long.
The years with orochimaru had taught him to be persistent, assertive, and always go straight to the point. That was why he had asked Naruko to mother his children the day she turned eighteen. It was also why he had continued pestering her till she applied for a restraining order.
Upon reaching her house, he was greeted with the suspicious sounds of moans, squeals, male grunts and a lewd rythm of flesh meeting flesh. He opened the door with a sense of foreboding and was met with a sight he would have never imagined.
A naked, red faced Naruko face down is his direction while an equally naked male who looked like her but had eyes like his pistoned in and out of her. HIS FUTURE WIFE WAS BANGING ANOTHER MAN. SHE WAS LOSING HER CHASTITY TO A MALE CLONE OF HERSELF DESIGNED TO HAVE HIS EYES. The sight became too much for him to bear and he blacked out.
Only when he fell did the two other people notice him. Naruto looked down at his partner "I didn't know you were expecting someone"
Naruko frowned " I wasn't... I didn't tell you to stop. I'm nowhere close to being done"
Naruto's left eye glowed hypnotic violet"Neither am I"
With that, the two continued their selfcest and spiritual yaoi.
The twitching and foaming uchiha was ignored
Thats all. I'm not good with lemon scenes so i just skipped it. If you're so desperate for one, imagine how the sex progressed to her being ass down, face up. As you can all guess, im not a hinata fan. I don't hate her but her characters just strange and the fact that she ended with Naruto instead of kiba is just strange, I mean it's like obito and rin. I don't see a couple, i just see a strange pairing where an obsessed boy somehow got the girl he wanted despite her having feelings for the cool guy. I like that she fought pein for his sake but it was just wrong, why would you confess your love to a guy when he's in a serious battle where he's pinned to the ground and thinking desperately on how to get out of his shit situation. I have nothing against hinata but i sincerely think she would have been better off with kiba or being left on thr moon with toneri. Sasuke lovers, you can take any bad reviews and shove it up your asses. Sasuke will not making a cuck out of Naruto in any of my stories I once commented on an arguement about why i hate cuck naruto fics. That simple comment earned me tons of annoying comments by sasuketards. I don't like cuck Naruto. I follow the 'don't like don't read rule' and i will ignore any reviews from sasutards about why I'm stupid, a terrible writer, or I should kill myself. Any negative comments will be ignored. Thank you