A/N: Hello, people!
I don't own Harry Potter or Twilight.
I have no beta.
CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR. HELLY-WATERMELONSMELLINFELLON.
Hello. This is for Nixie.
I am still homeless and my situation has not improved. I need a new
laptop because mine is now dying the moment I unplug my new cord
from the port. I need a laptop to do basically everything I'm doing. I
have commissions to see to and I'm dying here!
I have been to the doctor and have confirmation I'm depressed and
suicidal. I got bloodwork and found out I am iron, vitamin b6, c, &
d deficient. I have excessive white blood cells. Low cholesterol. Thin
and irregular red blood cells. I am also now on meds that make me
tired. I have shit internet on top of it all.
TAGS: Drama, Humor, Mentioned Suicide Attempt, MoD Stuff, Pain,
Introspection, IT'S FICTION, Life & Death, Flirting, Queer Themes,
Death & Fate Exist, Harry might not be doing well, Mild Language,
and talk of religion. Meaning: MoD Harry shits on Edward's beliefs.
Bella appreciated the interior design of the Cullen house. Especially after she'd been wondering what a vampire house would end up looking like. They didn't dress like the Addams Family so would it be like an open-floor office, a gothic castle, or maybe a old brownstone?
It was none of those things thankfully.
The kitchen was one of those ones she'd always wanted while growing up. An island counter with a white marble cutting board set in the very center, state of the art appliances, and everything was done up in a fetching, white and royal blue color pattern. White tiled flooring with tiny blue flowers in the center of each tile. Finally, a crystal chandelier to complete the look.
It was perfection. It was expensive. It made her want to avoid touching anything in case her bad luck manifested itself and she broke something.
They'd never been able to have super nice things when she was growing up.
Renee couldn't decorate to save her life. She tried, but it just wasn't her calling. Bella usually ended up handling the decorating in the parts of the house that required them to host other people. Bedrooms could be however they wanted of course. The problem was that Bella's two left feet made it dangerous to have anything of great value nearby in case she tripped and destroyed it.
If only she and Equilibrium had been friends. What a shame.
Esme Cullen crooked a finger at Harry and gestured to the pot on the stove. "Do you think it's satisfactory, dear?"
He peered inside and took a deep breath, wafting the steam toward his face. He beamed. "Spot on! It smells brilliant, too!"
"Yeah," Bella agreed, taking a seat at the island counter alongside Edward, who had placed two plates down, both with sufficiently deep centers. Before her eyes, the counter was set with matching cutlery and glasses courtesy of Carlisle Cullen. "Thank you."
The double door fridge was opened to reveal several kinds of soda and juice that she knew no one in the house would be drinking. They were purchased specifically for this day, which was very sweet of them considering they had no need of food. Edward waved his hand and she asked, "Got any pineapple juice?"
He smiled and retrieved a bottle. "Harry, would you like some soda?"
"Got any Coke?"
A bottle of Coke was grabbed as well. A glass bottle specifically.
"I love Coke," Harry said as he sat on Bella's other side. "I wasn't allowed to have fizzy drinks while growing up, so the moment I could I got a little carried away. But Coke has remained superior save for certain brands of ginger ale which, taking in modern preparations, really isn't ale at all."
Bella was quiet, trying to contain her dislike of his aunt and uncle so she didn't bring the mood down. They made him cook their meals but wouldn't let him join them. Never let him try pizza or soda. He couldn't even use a gaming system or the computer while growing up. Harry had been so behind on everything in terms of socializing with regular people that it was like teaching a toddler sometimes.
Her hands balled into fists, her rapidly mounting anger almost irrational in a sense. It had passed long ago. There was nothing she could do about it, so why did it offend her so much? Why did she get so hung up on it when even Harry didn't seem to care all that much?
A cool hand on her back shocked her out of her thoughts. Edward was at her side, looking concerned. "According to Jasper, you just became very emotionally volatile. Are you okay?"
Immediately, everyone else was paying attention to her, which made her blush in mortification, realizing that his brother had felt what she had felt so suddenly. And now everyone was staring and she wanted to crawl under a rock and never come out.
"I'm fine," she assured them all even as her pulse thundered in her ears. "I just hope I never meet Harry's aunt and uncle in the middle of a dark alley at midnight while I'm armed with something dangerous. It won't end well for them and I will feel absolutely no guilt whatsoever."
Everyone stared at her with wide eyes, and she shrugged. People like that didn't deserve her concern or worry. It was hardly cruelty in her opinion. Returning cruelty with cruelty was perfectly fine when the perpetrators were people like the Dursleys.
While Harry looked touched by her words, enough to pat her hand appreciate, Edward looked horrified. "You'd be willing to damn your own soul in the act of seeking revenge for a friend who'd been wronged?"
This was the first time anything remotely religious came out of Edward's mouth since she'd met him. At least, she was certain it was the first time. She was stunned, and a look at Harry showed him mirroring her opinion exactly. They had no idea where that even came from.
Was Edward religious? Did vampires believe in religion?
"I… don't really believe in damnation exactly," she confessed, thinking her words through carefully. "I'm agnostic, if that helps you understand. Evolution and Creation are both theories and no 'proof' given by either believers will convince me to any extent that one is right over the other. We are here and now and that's what I know and believe in."
Harry snorted. "There's a little bit of truth in everything, actually. But a very small bit," he said with certainty. "There is Death and Fate. That is it. There are no gods or Divine beings presiding over the universe. There is no Heaven or Hell. So, Edward, if you've been internally agonizing over having no soul or your soul being eternally damned over you being a vampire or you killing a human once upon a time, let me inform you,= that you need not worry any longer."
They all gaped at him, because he sounded so sure of himself and completely unfazed by their bafflement.
"H-how can you be so sure of yourself?" asked Carlisle, who was standing beside his wife at the stove, which had thankfully been turned off by then. The pasta and sauce were already mixed together evenly.
And that was when an almost demented smile lit up Harry's face, making his cheeks spreading too wide and exposing all of his teeth. It made Bella shiver, wary of the intentions behind it. Harry had never looked like that before, but something should be said about the fact that he'd managed to elicit such a physical response from her twice in one day.
When his eyes went all black earlier and now... this.
Something was off.
"Let me tell you a story that most who are aware of it, believe is a myth."
Alice chose to pay very close attention to the tale. If it would help them understand Harry Potter more, then it had to be important. She wanted answers. She wanted to know about magic. She wanted unexplainable things about him to finally make sense.
It didn't escape her notice how intent Edward had become in the past few seconds. As for Bella... she looked grim. Did she know already?
"A thousand years ago there lived three brothers. Their names were Antioch, Cadmus, and Ignotus Peverell. Every ten years, the brothers would take a journey to commemorate another decade of life. They were on their tenth journey, celebrating one hundred years as brothers, when they came upon a river too treacherous to wade through. The three were practitioners of magic however, and simply waved their wands to create a bridge out of the stones in the river.
"Yet they still could not cross, for a dark figure appeared before them, blocking their way. People would normally get swept away in the currents and drown, but the Peverell Three had escaped their Fate because of magic and Death did not like it, since Death had never been fond of Fate's gift to humanity and how it interfered with their duty. So Death plotted, and congratulated the brothers on their magical prowess, offering each a gift for their cleverness."
She knew it was a story, but the tone of Harry's voice made it chilling in a sense. The thought of this otherworldly being who chooses who lives and dies offering a gift with no strings attached, sounded suspicious. Not something to be trusted.
She wouldn't have trusted it. Visions or no Visions, it was too suspicious otherwise.
"Antioch was a braggart and decided he wanted to humiliate Death while improving his own social standing. He demanded a wand more powerful than any other that would ever exist, so Death fashioned one from an Elder tree nearby, and handed it over. Cadmus, while a bit more controlled than his older brother, liked the idea of humiliating Death too, and demanded to have the power to recall the spirits of those who had passed on, from the grave. So Death plucked a black stone from the river, imbued it with their power, and offered it to him.
"When Death turned to Ignotus, they found a very quiet and humble man watching them with distrust. All Ignotus asked for, was the power to go forth from that place without Death being able to find him until he was ready. So Death handed over their own Cloak of Invisibility, and Ignotus slipped it on, and disappeared from Sight and Mind entirely, out of Death and Fate's grasp."
The gifts all explained the brothers and their characters very clearly.
The most powerful weapon to the cocky one. He'd most likely brag about it with no sense of self-preservation. Would get himself killed for the sake of a good reputation.
Calling loved ones from the grave showed sentimentality and an inability to let go of the past. An inability to accept what has happened already. Childish in a sense, especially if said death happened long ago.
And finally, safety. The ability to go unseen and unheard. Protective. Defensive. The exact opposite of the older brother's demands. A way to blend into the background. Intelligent. Yet it could also be considered selfish to the right person.
"Antioch left the journey in pursuit of a wizard with whom he'd often quarreled. He caught up with the man in days and began their age-old fight anew. This time he won, his opponent lying dead at his feet. He bragged about his wand and how he acquired it. Drank himself silly in pride at his own achievements only obtained through borrowed power. That night, another wizard sneaked into his room and stole the wand. Then, because he could, slit Antioch's throat to be safe from his potential wrath. Antioch's part of the Peverell line died with him and he left no surviving descendants. Death took the first brother for their own.
"Cadmus, went to his childhood home, where he turned the Resurrection Stone in hand three times. But something he was unaware of, is that there is no Heaven or Hell. There is Limbo and there is the Afterlife. When someone dies, their soul goes to Limbo to be cleansed of its worldly taint. Once clean, it moves on to the Afterlife where for the next one hundred years, it is stripped of all personality it bears until it is blank once more and is ready to be shipped back into the world in a new form. Death knew this, Cadmus did not."
It was an eerie thought, and sounded similar in a sense to reincarnation, but more complex, and also less complex at the same time.
Spirituality was always a difficult subject to study.
"Cadmus called for the soul of the girl he'd once hoped to marry in his youth. She died of Dragon Pox at seventeen, and while he married later on and had children of his own, he never truly got over her death. When he summoned her soul, she'd been dead for eighty-six years at that point. Her soul had been stripped of its personality and memories in that time, so when she appeared as a wraith among the Living, she did not recognize his childhood home, nor did she know who he was. She knew his face and nothing more. The Afterlife is better than Life and she was no longer meant for the mortal realm, so she grew despondent and languished. Cadmus' heart was broken and he hanged himself, hoping he could at least join her in that way, not knowing that her soul had only fourteen years to go before it would be reassigned to a new body and he'd never know her again. Death got revenge in the most morbid way, taking the second brother as well."
It was all so much to take in!
"Ignotus spent the rest of his days wearing the Cloak and avoiding Death. It was at the age of one hundred and fifty-nine when he deemed himself ready, and removed the Cloak entirely, and passed it on to his eldest, living child. And in that moment, Death appeared before them, ready for him. But Ignotus did something differently than anyone ever had. He smiled. Something which Death had never been gifted, and stepped forward to take Death's hand as if they were old friends meeting once again. Death cannot touch the living, for they die immediately, and Ignotus knew this but cared not. And in that moment, Death truly understood. Ignotus' soul was new. It had never been incarnated before, so Death made the decision that Ignotus' soul would only be reborn six more times into his descendants, and then never be reborn again as a sign of favor.
"I am the last rebirth of the soul that was once Ignotus, as well as his direct descendant, and by accidentally uniting Death's items of power under my bloodline, I have obtained immortality. My soul will never leave my body and I will never be able to stay dead. I am forever trapped here in the Mortal Realm."
"I-immortal?" Bella repeated, looking even more concerned than she did before. "As in, you'll live forever kind of immoral and not just you'll look young your whole life?"
"Until the end of time and beyond kind of immortal," Harry clarified with a grim smile. "When you find out you're immortal, especially when you've never wanted to be, your reaction can be quite drastic at the thought of being alone for so long. I tried to kill myself to prove my assumptions false."
Bella gasped in horror, mirroring Alice's thoughts of horror entirely.
"Death is a really cheeky shite too," said Harry with a frown. "They're also mean-spirited after eons of being stuck in this same loop of Life and Death with only fate to talk to."
Alice mirrored his frown, wondering what that had to do with the discussion.
Harry huffed. "So when I awoke from getting hit by the same curse that's supposed to kill you on contact, for the third time may I add, I may have gone a little mad from everything that had happened. I was not well mentally and panicked, because I'd never wanted immortality since living to watch all of my loved ones die around me sounded horrible. So… I may have thrown myself off the school's viaduct and into the ravine below."
And the thing was, Alice could understand him. Awaking into this new life as a vampire had been difficult for her as well. Visions aside, she too had attempted suicide a few times before giving up. Thankfully, seeing parts of the future made things more bearable.
Carlisle had once experimented with almost every kind of death manageable and nothing had worked.
Harry's hand seemed to squeeze at the base of his own neck for stability. "I awoke in Limbo, to Death yelling at me over how just because I won't stay dead didn't mean I can't feel pain and when my body reassembled itself my magical core was going to be drained for a week and I wouldn't be able to move until then. So no more suicide attempts were to be made after that if they'd leave me so vulnerable. Pain isn't fun, you know."
Alice sent Edward a look, her thoughts in a blur. He's going to live forever. He won't stay dead. You literally cannot even use that excuse now!
But Edward seemed to be lost in his own thoughts.
She could only guess what was going through his head right now.
Edward stared down at the marble countertop, trying to put his thoughts in order in a way that made sense.
All the recent revelations were crashing together, over and over in his mind.
Harry was immortal. Harry had power over death in some way. Edward wasn't damned… because there was no such thing as Hell.
It was the finality in Harry's tone, that made it hard to doubt him. It was how he carried himself from day to day, that made it easy to believe him. It was the fact that Harry had magic and could do so many fantastical things that it was difficult for Edward to not believe him.
This also meant that Edward wouldn't damn Bella or Harry in any way by associating with them! By even daring to think of either as a vampire, living the long flow of time with him.
There would be no eternal punishment after death. No pain and torture in some fiery pit.
He hadn't felt this kind of relief since ever. Edward couldn't even remember a time where he was this serene. Like everything was actually okay for once.
Jasper took note of his sudden lull in emotional upheaval and sent him a curious look. Everything okay? he asked.
For once, yes. He nodded in return, feeling so much better now. Everything did in fact seem to be okay.
"Death is a really cheeky shite too," Harry had added after a few moments of silence. He'd looked annoyed more than anything. "They're also mean-spirited after eons of being stuck in this same loop of Life and Death with only fate to talk to."
The matching looks of confusion in response got his statement, made him shrug awkwardly. "So when I awoke from getting hit by the same curse that's supposed to kill you on contact, for the third time may I add, I may have gone a little mad from everything that had happened. I was not well mentally and panicked, because I'd never wanted immortality since living to watch all of my loved ones die around me sounded horrible. So… I may have thrown myself off the school's viaduct and into the ravine below."
While he knew Harry was fine since this had obviously happened in the past, that didn't stop Edward, or anyone else in the room, from immediately wondering if he was okay. Enough to look him over in obvious concern.
Harry rubbed his neck and sighed. "I awoke in Limbo, to Death yelling at me over how just because I won't stay dead didn't mean I can't feel pain and when my body reassembled itself my magical core was going to be drained for a week and I wouldn't be able to move until then. So no more suicide attempts were to be made after that if they'd leave me so vulnerable. Pain isn't fun, you know."
The flippant way Harry spoke made unease curl in Edward's stomach. Being immortal suddenly when you didn't ask for it was traumatizing. Carlisle had tried killing himself in dozens of experimental ways too. It was just that Harry seemed to view it differently. It was difficult to explain, but it was kind of unnerving to see someone so blasé about death and suicide.
For Carlisle, he'd been so caught up in his father's religion and the belief that he was an evil monster who was damned and had to atone for the sin of his existence. Edward might have picked up on that partially since his own parents were Catholic in life so some of Carlisle's thoughts resonated with things he'd already been made to know.
But on Harry's end, with his knowledge of there being no Heaven or Hell and no eternal rest and the fact that he cannot die, he just seemed to view life so differently. Alarmingly.
"And I have promised my friend Luna I won't be doing anything exceptionally dangerous unless I absolutely have to," Harry said, drawing them all back to the present.
"You told her you tried to kill yourself?" Bella asked in horror.
"Oh no! See, Luna is a Seer. She was made aware of every attempt in some form or fashion and eventually spoke up."
Alice perked up in interest immediately. Another Seer.
"She's a bit of a rare case since she can see past, present, and future, as well as into other dimensions and universes and even sometimes gets a glimpse into what's going on in the Afterlife."
The shock of that revelation made the entire house go silent save for the heartbeats of the only two living beings within.
"Dimensions?" Alice asked.
"Universes?" Emmett echoed, equally confused and amazed. he and Rosalie had joined the party not too long after Harry began his story. Rosalie was especially emotional over Harry's words.
Harry nodded. "Yeah. Each Universe has an infinite amount of Dimensions. In this Universe, Hadrian James Potter only exists in forty-seven Dimensions. Harry James Potter exists in one thousand one hundred and ninety-seven Dimensions. Hydra James Potter-Black exists in four Dimensions. Hadrian Peverell exists in nine Dimensions. Hari Jamiel Potter exists in about fifty Dimensions. Harriet Lily Potter exists in hundreds of Dimensions. Hariel Jamie Potter-Black is another popular one in many Dimensions. All versions of me with similar stories basically, but with small deviances at the start of their lives that drastically change everything later on.
"In other Dimensions of this Universe, Bella doesn't exist, or Edward isn't a Cullen, or Alice and Jasper never met. There are a few, I've come to learn, where Jasper met and married a female version of myself in the 40s and they then became Cullens in the 90s. It's madness to keep up with so I don't go digging too much as it's migraine-inducing."
The careless wave of his hand showed that Harry had already had a lot of time to consider all of these things and that he'd already come to grips with it all. But as for the rest of them, they didn't have such a luxury. Thankfully most of them were vampires and their minds could process information faster than a human so it was only a minute of silence before everyone's minds just seemed to accept this odd fact and move on to other things.
Bella, on her end, looked completely unfazed. As if she'd gotten used to the strange things that came out of Harry's mouth on a day to day basis. And since she'd known about his magic longer than Edward, of course she probably did.
Eventually, Esme managed to plate up some penne alla vodka for their guests, which was probably cold by now, and smiled as she placed the plates down on the counter. "It might be a little early for supper, but if you're joining us for baseball soon, then it'd be best for you to eat first."
The two humans thanked her and dug in. Though more as to say, Bella dug in while Harry took his time, spooning some pasta and looking at it from every angle. "I just realized that this is like adult macaroni and cheese... but with alcohol."
A snort was Bella's response. "It's good. Eat it."
He did so, eyes lighting up immediately and smiling at Esme in encouragement.
The woman's thoughts turned ecstatic as she turned back to the sink to begin cleaning the accumulated dishes that had been dirtied in the process of her cooking for the first time.
Too much had happened in one day. Edward felt overwhelmed.
Jasper, thankfully, was there to help him loosen up a bit.
He just had to make it through the rest of the day. Simple.
After they ate, they had a couple hours to kill before going out for baseball, which ended up with Edward showing she and Harry around the house.
She got to stare at the massive, rugged cross that had belonged to Carlisle's father back in 1600s England. Then the wall art of graduation caps from all the times the Cullens decided to repeat high school and college.
Edward confessed, out of nowhere, "I have earned the same medical qualifications as Carlisle, several times over, but no hospital would take my youthful face seriously. They barely take Carlisle seriously because he barely looks old enough to have children. Jasper's contacts have made it much easier to blend in these days so the records are never questioned, but even with those on our side, people don't believe in his skill easily."
That sounded really annoying. Repeating school. Getting the same degrees over and over. Not even being able to make use of them though. What was the point then?
It was obvious that Harry agreed with her thoughts judging by the very telling look he sent her way. It just sounded so boring having to repeat school over and over because they didn't look old enough for anything else. They might be teenagers in body, but they were all at least a few decades old and had seen some shit.
Such a lifestyle would be a drag.
Edward led them to a large door at the end of the upstairs hallway. It seemed pretty unassuming considering how grandiose the rest of the house seemed to be. When he opened it however, completely different.
"That's a lot of music," Harry murmured, moving over toward the wall covered in various forms of music from several eras. CD, cassette, vinyl, Edward had it all. Adding on the stereo, iPod collection, MP3 player collection, stack of CD players, and the record player. "Is it alphabetical or chronological?"
"Sorted by year, country, and then alphabetical within those distinctions," Edward explained.
It sounded like so much work, but seeing as he was immortal and never needed sleep, of course he would have all the time in the world to consider how he wanted his room set up.
The far wall was completely glass, and a chaise lounge rested at an angle in the corner, allowing for a nice view of the forest. There was a single chandelier overhead but it wasn't on. The light of day was bright enough to illuminate the room with ease.
Everything was very modern. Pretty in line with how the Cullens chose to present themselves at school. "I feel like there's a missed opportunity to play into the vampire aesthetic," she mumbled.
He snorted. "Alice's room is very much what you have in mind. She really likes that kind of style and takes it very seriously. Her room is one of the few without the window wall."
Harry spread himself out on the lounge, flirtatiously taking on a 'sexy' position. "Ms. Swan, care to join me?" he asked, voice dipping into an unnaturally husky tone.
Despite feeling incredibly flustered at the moment, Bella stepped forward and allowed Harry to pull her down as well. She was arranged according to his own design, one leg thrown over his own as she plastered herself to his side. His warm hand rested on the small of her back and made her feel all tingly.
Their resident vampire lover stared them down with a dark gaze, eyes trailing over the shape of Bella's ass before moving to take in the perfection of Harry's jawline.
Bella wasn't used to being desired in such a way. Not like she was actually desirable as a person and not just a feminine fleshbag.
Both Harry and Edward exposed her to new thinking and new feelings. It was embarrassing and exhilarating at the same time! She had no clue what she was doing, but was just going along with Harry's self-confidence because he made her feel confident too.
Edward groaned and looked away. "Jasper wants me to calm down. Alice is practically cackling over this."
...Meaning she probably saw a Vision. Bella flushed. What exactly had Alice seen Edward do? And why was she so curious to find out?!
Harry pouted. "So you can't join us then?"
The intense look returned with a vengeance, and Edward took a very obvious and unnecessary deep breath. "I probably shouldn't."
"It isn't as if you haven't laid on us before."
Mortification had her hiding her head in Harry's shoulder. Why did he have to be so... blasé about things? Would there ever be a day that Bella could be as confident as he was? She couldn't even fathom the thought of it!
A low, guttural sound filled the room, and the hairs on her arms stood on end. Harry stiffened beneath her, and she glanced up to see Edward very obviously crouching low before launching himself onto the lounge with them!
Bella found herself caged between Edward and Harry, the warmth of Harry pressed to her front while the chill of Edward was pressed along her back. And she could feel every single detail. Harry was very nicely toned it seemed.
Above them rested Edward, arms bracketing their position enough to allow them some wiggle room but not enough room to escape. She couldn't necessarily see him, but something just told her that he was feeling smug.
Harry whistled. "Hot."
Both Bella and Edward sighed. He'd never change.
"Oh! Look at them! So cute!" came the voice of Alice from the other side of the room.
Edward made no attempt to get up even as he shifted a bit so they could see Alice and Jasper standing right in the doorway. "I wasn't really aiming for cute," he told them.
"Too bad! It's adorable!" Alice declared. "Though we've got to interrupt the fun because I have uniforms for Bella and Harry to wear to the game!" Her smile practically said she wouldn't be taking 'no' as an answer any time soon. "They'll look so amazing!"
Edward sighed. "I suppose I could release them into your care for a few minutes. I require them to be in peak condition upon return though."
"We won't bite," Alice promised with an exaggerated wink. "Much."
"But what if that's my kind of kink?" Harry asked with faux innocence, fluttering his lashes to make his eyes look more appealing.
Alice clapped rapidly and giggled in delight. "Then you can explore that kink with your lovers later! For now, come with me!"
"If we must," Harry sighed, sitting up now that Edward had moved aside. Bella was shifted with relative ease and she had to wonder just how strong Harry was since they were literally the same size and he just stood up with her cradled in her arms like she weighed nothing!
As she was carried out, Bella glanced at Edward over Harry's shoulder, and flushed upon realizing that he was staring at Harry's ass.
She couldn't blame him. It was a nice ass.
"Speaking of treats," Harry began, "I have some Blood Pops for you lot to try in my bag. I almost forgot about them!"
Bella could feel her fondness for him tripling instantly. He was so sweet.
A/N: Another is done!
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