Disclaimer: This fiction contains phrases parodying and possibly promoting substance abuse.

Please note that substance abuse is a serious issue and should not be taken lightly.

If you or someone you know and care about is dependent on superscribed medications please seek professional help, as narcotics can and will ruin your life and that of those around you.

Cooking scholarship.

Chapter 1

Jaune hadn't really expected things to turn up this way.

When he originally submitted his resume he was expecting to be turned down, maybe punished for his actions, or in the best case, accepted.

The first words spoken by the headmaster however earned him both confusion and discomfort.

„ So you cook and sell meth?" Professor Ozpin spoke as if disregarding every other part of the brief biography in front of him.

„ Um. Well i dabble in chemistry for the medication i create and i do distribute some of the excess i accumulate for funds..." The blonde boy began, but was quickly interrupted again.

„Mister Arc, that is neither what i asked nor what we both know the answer to be."

„ It's no lie sir. I really do make medicine, mostly from occasional deliveries to my home town and from plants i grow and harvest."

„ So we can add shrooms and marijuana to the list as well. Good, good."

„ What? Headmaster are you even listening to m-"

„ Oh i read you loud and clear mister Arc and make no mistake, no one in the room is calling you a liar.

Fraud and criminal maybe, but no liar."

„ Fraud... Criminal!.." He stammered, blue eyes widening.

„Well, yes. Forging transcripts is criminal offense and we have spoken to some of you clients. We do have people keeping a vigilant eye out in the darker parts of the city. And you were rather well spoken of.

Supply quality wise i mean. When they described you by appearance and first impressions tho, they may have gone overboard. Nervous awkward i can see but you don't really give off the impression of a junkie of 'little bitch' in my opinion" He looked him over as Jaune was starting to sweat bullets and his lower lip began to quiver. „ Ok maybe a little, but that is unimportant mister Arc, may i call you Jaune?'

„S-s-Sure mister Ozpin sir...'

„Yes, as i was saying Jaune. None of that matters, what does matter however is this." He reaches behind him in an open bag and pulls out a plastic container, similar to what one might use to bring a sandwich, filled to the brim with transparent shards of glass and sticky note on the top which clearly red 'If found please return to Jaune Arc' along with a return address and phone number.

„Um that's, well.., I mean-" The blond boy began to stammer.

„ Well it's the worst attempt at contraband I've ever seen quite honestly. My colleague, who acquired it even bashed his head against a wall over second hand embarrassment when he called it and you picked up. That was how we called you here today." As he said the the man noticed that Jaune was now also turning into a rather imposing shade of red around the ears.

„ You know when we first got this package we were warned that there were no jokes involved and that this was going to be a proper transaction, they assured my friend of the quality, the amount and that it had come straight from the chef himself. And then they gave us this, a sandwich box with glass decorations in it." He paused to chuckle into his fist. „ Oh, you could cut the tension with a knife over there. But after some frantic assurance and constant insistence that they were in fact serious. We were willing to give this 'product' a try. And so i did and mister Arc i have got to say, there has never been anything quite like it."

He waited for the shocked expression in the boy's eyes, questions clearly printed on his retina, to fade and let him speak.

„ Y-you tried it sir?"

„ Why yes, is it that hard to imagine the headmaster of the most prestigious academy on the planet doing, how do you say... 'Blow'?"


„Well you might want to be more open minded Jaune. You see there are two things i noticed in the batch you made. One, there was clearly aura in there. would you mind explaining that."

„Oh, yes sir, that's my semblance." The teenager spoke, confident somewhat in the fact that the subject turned to more familiar topics.

„Your semblance allows you to infuse meth with aura?"

„What, oh, oh no. My semblance allows me to amplify aura. The meth part was just an application where i infused it and then amplified it."

„Fascinating, and where did you learn this? I know for a fact that you never had an official teacher regarding huntsman topics."

„Well it wasn't official. After i earned my first income i payed a local huntsman to tutor me. We never got too far into the training but he did teach me some of the basics. Like how to channel aura through weapons and clothing, so i just thought..."

„You though without rhyme or reason that such a feat was possible with other products and applied it there?" It was the headmaster's turn to be impressed. The process to infuse aura into an object unrelated to the human body, like a weapon, was something that took years to master and it was a process so delicate it could be set back by weeks if the hunter so much as changed his weapon or made any adjustments to it. To apply that concept to chemicals, which could create a number of different components at the mildest variation in quantity was borderline impossible.

„Well it's not like it's that different really. With weapons it's just taking the concept of 'It's an extension of your arm' to the extreme. I had a good example as my weapon, my tutor said it was beginning to turn, whatever that means. And since i could already do it with clothes i just had to apply the feeling and 'bam'. Instant aura meth.

Tho honestly i don't know if that makes a difference other than manipulating the shape." Sheepish and obviously proud at the compliment Jaune seemed to almost forget his previous nervousness and went into details about the whole process.

„ Oh it makes an enormous difference to hunters. Simply put if you wrote 'I can infuse aura into substances and amplify it' On the transcripts, then even without any contact details we'd hunt you down and beg you to join the school. That's how valuable those skills are. Now however, along with the fake transcripts and addition of your unlicensed 'medicine', things are looking a little different.

„Eep" With the matter of his crimes brought up once again, Jaune quickly returned to being as pale as a ghost.

„ You see we can't have a well know criminal cook accepted as one of our students Jaune. So we will need to cover up the details, and cover-ups like that cost money. So i will give you two options. Either leave the room now and be escorted by the police, i am sure they will give you a light sentence since this was a first time offense." He pointed to the people people in the back giving him some very hungry looks. Causing the young man's heart to stop for the full duration of the silence. „ Or join Beacon, we will give you a full scholarship and opportunity to sell your product freely among the campus and we will also provide you with the proper equipment to concoct as much as you can and all you have to do in return is provide us with five kilograms every month. Quite honestly as much as i try to make this sound like an ultimatum if you ignore the former it's just a once in a lifetime opportunity." He said as he brought up a stack of papers and a pen in front of him.

„Most of the details are already filled in. We took the liberty of looking into your background before arranging this meeting and shortened the process, to avoid awkward silence mostly and for a little dramatic effect. All you have to do is sign on the dotted line.

The choice was obvious, the conditions were well within his favor and even if he failed the monthly quota Jaune was certain the headmaster would be lenient towards him so long as he made up for it. Yet there was just one thing he needed to know before he brought the pen towards the dotted line.

„Um, why me? You could have obviously gotten anyone else for not even one of these conditions and could have easily just forced me to make it either way without offering anything so why do so much and go through all the trouble just for me?"

„ A valid question, While the skills you have are valuable and in their own right useful we could have simply recommended you somewhere else under probation, saves us money and no one really has to go to jail.

But if you remember I said there were two things i noticed when i tried your sample, correct." He waited for Jaune to nod.

„The second thing i noticed was, and pardon my language, 'that shit was tight' and there is nowhere else in vale i can get a grade that high for the price I'm paying."

Jaune stood there dumbfounded.

„ Right there on the dotted line mister Arc." Ozpin said pointing at the paper stack.

The whole thing went smoothly all things considered.

Mostly in shock Jaune signed the all the papers and handed them to the headmaster, who in turn passed them out to his secretary. The blonde woman took the papers and left, giving Jaune only the briefest look of distain as she left the room.

„ You are free to leave now. Lessons start in two weeks." He passed Jaune a small device on the table before standing up from his chair. „ This is a scroll, all our students are assigned one, if you loose it please report it to a member of the staff. There's a text file on the main screen and a map of Beacon. The text file has instructions on what to do when you arrive on the first day. Forgive me for for this, but you don't seem very bright so i made sure to make it very detailed. The unlock code is set to your birthday. Day, month year, six digits only. There are a few preset contacts and several applications you won't find online. Read the document carefully before poking around in there."

„O.. Understood. Anything else?"

„ No that's It for now mister Arc. You are free to go about your way. And please lighten up, this whole ordeal may have been a bit abrupt and traumatizing for someone with social anxiety. But i can assure you. Good things are ahead and you will look upon this day in the future with fond memories. Take care for now, and I will see you soon."

With that he left, It took Jaune a few moments but he followed suit. A police officer escorted him out of the building and left him at the entrance.

Jaune kept walking further at a steady pace, passing several protesting groups and a few bums before reaching a mostly empty park. Sitting down on one of the benches he finally released a long breath he didn't realize he was holding and began shacking. Rummaging around in the pockets of his hoodie he took out an intact pack of cigarettes.

„ Why did i even buy these i don't smoke." He said as he unwrapped the box and took one out.

„ I hope i don't regret this decision for the rest of my life." Pulling out a disposable lighter and lit up the tobacco stick in his mouth, instantly upon inhaling he began to cough.

„Oh god, why do people do this, why did i do this?" Suddenly he felt light headed and his breathing eased.

„Oh, that's why." He took another breath from the but of the cigarette. „ *Cough* Damn it, i hope this doesn't become a habit." It did end up becoming a habit.

After sitting on the bench for about ten minutes not realizing he had stopped coughing half way through the vice straw. Jaune got up bought some breath mints at the local store and headed for the public transport that would take him home.

„ Well, what's done is done. Guess i should return and tell my family the good news." He lit up another cigarette on the go.

„And hey, when you think about it, i guess i really did get the long end of the stick, money, a lab, and i get to study at Beacon. That's a win!"

„ Stop talking to yourself you hippy." A random person he was passing by told him.

„Sorry!" Jaune threw the butt of the cigarette in a nearby trashcan. Not bothering to put it out or taking stock of the easily flammable contents in there, the trashcan would catch fire later that day while being emptied into a dump truck with other easily flammable contents, causing mild panic and incriminating local minorities. But that was non of Jaune's concern as for the first time in a long time things were looking up for him the more he though about his future.

„ Was this box always half full? I probably got scammed."

„I told you to stop talking to yourself." Said the man sitting next to him on the bullhead.


First fic in a loong time of just reading, but barely anything these days gives me my fix of mature humor.

No that this story will in any way be mature (provided i actually get around to updating it regularly)

But it was an idea i had that i didn't see used anywhere else. No even really sure if this story will take place in the same world as cannon RWBY. I just know i want an impending sense of dread in the form of grim, but i don't want it to actually affect the plot that much