a couple of things to start off, yes this story includes infidelity. i don't condone it nor do i romanticise it, this is simply an exploration of a plot i've had in mind for some time. also breaking dawn never happened, therefore renesmee doesn't exist. i recommend listening to nirvana by sam smith before reading just to get in the mood lol. enjoy !

It wasn't that Bella didn't love Edward anymore, nor was it about her growing tired of their relationship. She loved him with everything she could give ; he was sweet, kind and thoughtful know in a way she hadn't quite known when she was human. Sure, at the time she did have a multitude of different vampires vying to rip out her throat and they were constantly under the pressure from the Volturi, Edward was bound to be a little on edge. But ever since Bella woke up into her newfound immortality and settled into life with the Cullens, she found herself finally able to examine their relationship and recognise the flaws in their domesticity together. It was also around this time of self-discovery, Bella found her attention drawn to a certain honey blonde cowboy.

Jasper had kept his distance when she had been human, and in turn she came to know very little about him aside from his war torn past. While Bella took to her immortality quite quickly, there were a few tumultuous months of tantrums and slightly feral tendencies that would occasionally overwhelm her. It was in these instances Bella turned to Jasper, she trusted him to restrain and control her more than any other member of the coven. It was there that they started to actually get to know one another and a bond was formed. Perhaps that was when her pesky little attraction started to take shape.

She wouldn't have minded so much if she was only attracted to him physically, her coven was so damn gorgeous she had a little crush on all of them. But with Jasper, it wasn't just his body that got her all hot and bothered, it was his manner and inherent charm. As a human, he intimidated her too much for her to really take notice of anything but the way he treated her ; respectful and polite, but no warmth. As a vampire and newest member of their little family, Jasper had finally opened up to her and Bella liked what she saw a little too much. Her feelings had been manageable and easy to ignore at first, until she made the fatal mistake of hunting with him only a few weeks prior.

It had started off fine, they'd each gone their separate directions in chasing down an animal pertaining to their own tastes. Jasper had satiated his hunger first and came to wait for her just on the outskirts of her senses, he knew better than to get too close to her prey. When she came to meet back up with him, her unneeded breath was stolen from her body at the sheer beauty that was Jasper Hale. He'd abandoned his shirt somewhere, and her eyes took in the marvel of his chest. He wasn't as pale as the other Cullens, she could make out the slightest tan that had probably transitioned with him into immortality. He was lean and muscular, with abs she could only dream about. Not too defined, but enough that it spoke tales of how fit he must have been as a human. A soldier's body. Her eyes had zeroed in the light smattering of blonde hair reflecting the day's sun and followed it down his stomach as the trail dipped into the waistband of his jeans, slung low on his hips. She could tell he wasn't wearing any underwear. Jasper was the embodiment of every wet dream she ever had as a human, and it caused an uncomfortable throb between her thighs.

"Now, now, Swan. I'm a married man," his honey suckled teasing had brought her back to reality, and she slammed her mental shield down so hard it pricked uncomfortably in her mind. She hadn't missed the way he used her maiden name, or the frown that dipped onto his face as she purposefully strode past him, intent on forgetting the entire encounter. That night she spent longer than necessary in the shower, biting down on her lips as her own fingers curled inside her, the memory of Jasper riding on the back of her mind as she chased her most intense orgasm to date.

Since that moment, she hadn't dared be alone with the man, nor did she allow her mental shield to waver in any way. She loved Edward, he loved Alice. This little thing was nothing but a way to deal with the rut her marriage had run into, a way to compensate the fact her and Edward hadn't been intimate in weeks. Not that sex with her husband would have provided much release, he was very traditional in his lovemaking. While Bella wouldn't go as far as to call it boring, sex with him had lost its appeal years ago. Nevertheless, she would just have to shove the feelings down so deep they never rose to the surface again. But that was easier said than done.

"Bella," the sound of her name causes the girl to startle out of her thoughts, golden irises darting to land on the figure of her husband standing in the doorway of the living room. "The monotonous drone of the American educational system awaits," Edward jokes, darting forward to plant a kiss on her forehead. They had recently all moved to a tiny little town on the outskirts of Alaska, a conscious bid to be a little closer to the Denali coven. Unfortunately, it meant blending into human society, which included most of them enrolling in high school. Bella had adamantly refused, only having graduated from high school the first time a few years ago. Luckily Carlisle had taken pity on her and agreed she looked old enough to pretend to be in college, but the others hadn't been so lucky. Everyone but her, Jasper and Rose had been forced to enrol.

"Have fun, sweetie," she calls after him as he leaves, a slight waver in her voice he didn't seem to pick up on. Bella was uncomfortably aware that when the others leave, there'd be nothing to buffer her interactions with Jasper. Rosalie and Esme had already left for town, and Carlisle was pulling a double shift at the hospital. She could hear him shuffling around upstairs before the creak of a bedroom door and soft footsteps heading towards the stairs. She couldn't help but wonder if he was as uncomfortable as she was, if he knew what she felt towards him and hated her for it. They were both married after all.

Bella shakes her head free of those thoughts and turns on the tv, absentmindedly scrolling through Netflix for a few minutes before she felt his presence in the doorway. She purposefully focuses on the screen instead of him, hyper aware of the way he strolls in the room and plops down next to her on the couch. A respectful distance away from her but still too close for comfort. Jasper doesn't speak at first, just watches the tv as she decides on a movie. Just as she's about to watch pride and prejudice for the millionth time, a large hand plucks the remote from her. "Hey!" she scowls indignantly, finally turning to face him and his stupid smirk.

"Darlin', we're not watching that," the term of endearment sends a jolt of excitement through her and she thanks her lucky stars she'd already put up her shield.

"It's a good movie!" Bella rebukes, leaning over to try and unsuccessfully snatch the remote from his hands. Jasper laughs and leans back, holding the remote over her head just out of reach. If Bella had been a little more in control of her body, she would have just pouted and let him choose the movie he wanted to watch. But instinct kicked in and before she even knew it, Bella had herself pressed against his chest as she leaned over him for the remote. It was such a cliché situation, but she thought nothing of it until a firm hand gripped the side of her hip, and her eyes made contact with his own. The remote was forgotten as their current intertwining suddenly filled her entire being with heat. God, she wanted nothing more than to shred his clothes with her teeth, feel him pulse inside her and sink his teeth into her neck. Curiously, she noticed how his once gold irises had darkened with hunger, but the kind that wasn't satiated with blood. In that moment, Bella knew.

Her attraction wasn't as one-sided as she thought.

next chapter coming soon. please review it really means a lot !