This is AU or Alternative Universe if you prefer the long form. Thus this is not Cannon!

As always with me this is complete as is. If you don't like it or the premise don't read.

As I am Male and NOT the writer of the Harry Potter series, whom as anyone perusing this archive should know is the wonderful JKR who lets us play with her world. To put it simply I don't own a darn thing here.

This is a short one inspired by Mad-Eye's trunk.

Harry had just finished his third year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and was back at his relatives house for another summer of chores while they and their large son relaxed. It was just past 10 am on a beautiful Saturday morning and he had just finished clearing the garden of weeds while insuring his aunt's prize roses were growing properly for the day. He was currently debating how long he should wait before starting the lawnmower. If he started too early the neighbors would complain and the last time that had happened well it was't nice for him. Before he could start mowing his uncle appeared in the back door yelling for him to clean up and come inside he was wondering what he'd cased this interruption to the morning routine. A rushed clean up later found him standing with his uncle and another man who looked somewhat familiar but Harry was unable to place him.

"Harry this is Mr. Creevey. He has heard from several of his co-workers you are a hard working boy and would like your assistance for the next two weeks and possible a bit longer. I've negotiated proper compensation for your time and he will pay your aunt and I directly for your services. Go pack and be ready to go in five minutes and NO funny business or any of you weird stuff either. Mr. Creevey is expecting an honest hard worker and I've assured him you are just the boy for this job."

Knowing there was no other acceptable reply Harry replied, "Yes Uncle," before heading up stairs. While packing he debated sending Hedwig to Hermione but instead set her free saying, "Girl go have a good time. I've got to work for some one for few weeks. I'll see you at Hogwarts if you don't find me first."

Knowing this visitor would be taking the freak away for two glorious weeks Vernon asked, "The boy will be ready to go in five minutes. Would you like anything while you wait?"

"No thank you I've got a bit of driving to do, I wouldn't need the help but our great uncle's place is so stuffed and in such a prime location I want to get it cleaned out quickly so the wife and I can decide rather to rent it or sell it outright," Mr. Creevey replied holding out the agreed upon sum of pounds to Harry's uncle. Who after a quick glance placed it into his pocket to count later. If he was honest he would have paid this man to take the freak off his hands for two weeks.

Vernon was enjoying this He'd have to see if anyone at work needed help, if this worked out he could keep the boy out of his home the entire summer while making money off him in the process..

Ten minutes later Harry was sitting in the front seat of an older Vauxhall Cavalier when he got up the courage to ask, "Mr. Creevey you wouldn't be related to a Colin Creevey would you?"

"He's my oldest so yes I do know who you are. Don't worry Harry although both my sons are a fountain of information about you they should be a lot calmer at home than at school.

"I should also want you although neither of my sons… I guess the best way of putting it is worldly enough to put all they've told us about you all together however my wife is. She is the smarter of the two of us by a mile and while I make enough as a milkman to keep a roof over our heads Anna has a doctorate in clinical physiology and volunteers as a child welfare advocate at our local schools on occasion. As the boys see their mother at school and she isn't a teacher they don't pay much attention to what she really does and to be honest we do our best to shield them from her actual work. Also the conversations I've had with your uncle over the last few days have reenforced her diagnosis."

Harry was quietly thinking through what he'd just been told then the silence got to him and he said, "I'm grateful for you getting me away from my relatives but doesn't that make your family more of a target?"

"I wasn't always a milkman Harry and if I were to consider that as a problem Anna would quickly argue me out of it. My family will do what is right. Now I do need your help with my great uncle's place but I doubt it will take two weeks constant work. I suspect we might even manage a few days doing vacation type stuff," Mr Creevey replied with a smile his focus still on the road.

Harry sat back continuing to think for a bit all the while Patrick Creevey was taking the occasional glance at him waiting for the obvious question to rear its head. He noticed when it struck Harry and said, "Go ahead and ask it. I've been asked it multiple times already as has Anna.'

"I don't know how to ask it," An embarrassed Harry said a few moments later.

"Okay I'm assuming it's along the lines of 'how did a milkman end up with such a highly educated wife?'" Patrick said to which Harry only nodded his agreement.

"The simple reason is I wasn't always a milkman. When we met I was career Army in the SAS and along with several other were involved in a a few things that never officially happened. The higher ups thought it would be best if we were given some help dealing with the the mental issues arising from those events and their aftermath. As our on base Shrinks were overwhelmed I was being treated by a coworker of Her's who recently left the service and had the necessary clearances.

"As these things happen one time both of us were waiting; her for her next patient, me for my appointment we started talking just general chitchat about the weather and such. I found out much later after the initial meeting she insured we ended up waiting together multiple times. I finally got up the courage and with the approval of my Doctor asked her out.

"It wasn't much later I ended up being pensioned off for health reasons and while I could have stayed home and not worked but that wasn't me. So Anna suggested a low stress job to stay busy that would allow me to be home during the day to take care of the children we were planning to have in the future would be my best option. After trying multiple other jobs I fell in to the milkman job by accident shortly after Colin was born and found the early morning hours and limited contact with people fitted my needs quite well."

"Thank you sir. I guess. I still don't understand the boy girl dynamic."

"Anna did a good job of quizzing both boys about how that boy girl thing as you said works a school the other day without them catching on just what she was doing. Their answers were a bit confusing but they mentioned something about houses and broom closets. Your name came up as it normally does when talking about that place and while I won't divulge all he told me it appeared you seemed to ignore or were unaware of the boy girl thing as you said. In fact she was told you don't even socialize beyond what he called the Golden Trio."

Harry bushed a bit at the thought of just what those two might have told their mother. He decided the best thing was to explain, "That's true to a point. Though I do socialize with my Quidditch teammates on occasion. In my defense about every young witch or wizard at Hogwarts grew up hearing about the "Boy-who-lived" or read books about the night my parents died and I didn't. There is even a children's series of books about adventures I supposedly had growing up. They're all garbage to be honest but because of all that most of the students expect me to be someone I'm not. Even Dennis was initially overwhelmed by the stories his classmates about me to be honest. Luckily Colin was able to calm down Dennis on that topic. You know your boys are full of energy?"

"Oh both Anna and I have known that for years. We were hoping they'd settle down at your school but obviously they haven't," Patrick replied with a chuckle.

"Not that I've noticed anyway. To continue what the school calls the golden trio is Me, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasley. Hermione was one of the very few to see past all that and see me. I'm not sure even Ron has managed to get past all of that given the first thing he asked about was to see my scar. Neville Longbottom though has become a good friend this year. So I guess next year they'll be talking about the golden foursome."

"So it's just Hermione, Ron and perhaps Neville that are your friends?" Patrick asked.

"Yea pretty much, I get along with most of my housemates and a few from the other Houses but those three are the ones I spend most of my time with."

"So which young lady appears in your dreams?"

"Huh?" Was all Harry could say suddenly uncomfortable at the direction this conversation had taken.

Patrick Creevey had a similarly uncomfortable thought that perhaps no one had given Harry the birds and bees talk. The car fell quiet as both contemplated their last thoughts. The car stopping drew Harry out of his as Patrick announced, "We're here."

Later that night after they'd settled Harry into the guest bedroom Patrick turned to his wife saying, "Based on what I saw today at the Dursley's and heard during the ride here, Harry has a number of problems he needs help with, including as He described it the boy/girl thing," before continuing to bring her up to speed about their house guest.

"Sounds like he needs our help. Though you are giving him the talk. Our agreement was you would tell the boys and I would tell the girls and no matter how much you want to avoid giving it Harry is a boy. Best think of it as practice for Colin though you could give it to both of them together," Anna Creevey said finishing with a grin.

"I was hoping to postpone it until next year or so and give it to both my boys together."

"Dennis is going to be twelve shortly after he starts school so you might as well do all three of them at the same time then you can do a refresher for our boys in a year or two."

"Okay but let me get set for this. Can you disappear Sunday afternoon?" Patrick asked,

"Yes, There are a few things I can do. Though I need to talk with Harry about his clothes tomorrow. I have a feeling he might need to go shopping while he's here."

The next morning Anna's comment appeared to be correct when Harry arrived in the kitchen wearing his school pants and shirt. His embarrassed look when he was told to they were a bit too good for today's activities had Anna taking him up to his room to "Find something a bit more suitable," They returned to the kitchen where Anna announced she and Harry were going clothes shopping. They returned to the house just before lunch. Anna sent him to his room to change and put away the few work outfits they'd picked up in the local charity shop. After a filling lunch Patrick Harry and the Creevey boys headed off in his car to clean his great uncle's place while Anna went into her practice to do whatever she did when she had no clients there. Though today she'd be using her library refreshing her knowledge in a specific area.

That night as the Creevey parents got ready for bed Anna said, "Other than his school clothes Harry only had hand me downs from his cousin who must be twice his weight at least. I picked him up a few outfits and had to put my foot down to get him to go into the local M&S to get some underwear. He's been going commando for years. Evidently his cousins second hand underwear wasn't the best."

"When Colin and Dennis first suggested getting Harry to help with the clean out of Uncle William's place it was an attempt to get closer to Harry and we would be stuck with a pampered kid I'd have to push to get even a minimal amount of work out of," at his wife's raised eyebrow he continued, "I was wrong, boy was I wrong. That kid can out work grown men. He also kept Colin and Dennis on the move while doing so. I thought I was being a bit optimistic when hoping to get a room half done today but when we lost the morning I was hoping to at least get something done. We didn't get a room half done but we did come close. Harry and the boys did the majority of the work, moving the trash into the kitchen while the stuff for sale were placed in the living room. I spent most of my time standing in the hall telling them what went where. There was the occasional item I had to help with but we should be done quicker than I expected."

"Good, that will allow us a bit more time to help him deal with his issues."

"I was thinking we might tell his uncle things are taking a bit longer than expected," Patrick ventured floating his idea past his wife.

"That way he could stay here an extra week or so. Good idea but wait until the end of the week. It would be a bit more believable then," Patrick just nodded pleased she agreed with him.

HELP OUT

Three days later Patrick and the boys had lunch at a fast food shop after a morning of hauling bags of items from the kitchen to a local tip station. Returning to the house they spent the afternoon moving things from the living room to a nearby self storage unit Patrick rented to store his uncle's things until they were able to organize a sale.

Sunday per Creevey family tradition no work was done. Well Patrick would have argued that point. As planned Anna disappeared after lunch leaving just the boys and Patrick in the house. When He called the boys into the living room and started his talk he was a bit surprised when Colin caught on to the topic first. Moments later Harry twigged on and tried to leave but Patrick told him to stay as the talk was for him too. By the time Anna returned all three male faces had turned red at least once including Patrick's. Dinner conversation that night was a bit stilted but everyone got through it and after the dishes were dealt with the boys quickly made their way to their rooms where their night were less than full restful for various reasons. Though if Patrick had asked Harry again the next morning Harry would have to admit he did have a name for who was in his dreams.

Monday morning Patrick came home for his morning rounds and as normal made breakfast for his wife and family who arrived as they finished their morning rituals ready for breakfast and the days work.

By Tuesday morning the boys were back to normal and they had moved on clearing great uncle's cellar where a pile of stuff had fallen into a mound against the wall. Patrick wouldn't let the boys work directly on the unstable pile but as soon as he removed an item Harry passed it off to Colin or Dennis to take up to the proper area to be dealt with later. He was a bit surprised to find an old trunk he didn't remember buried under the pile but when he couldn't even budge it a fraction of a millimeter Harry's reaction caused him to hesitate.

"Mr. Creevey let me take a close look at that," Harry said his voice nervous. Patrick moved back a bit but stayed close enough to grab Harry if something happened.

Harry approached the trunk holding his left hand out in front of him doing his best to sense any magic on the trunk. It was only after he'd assured himself it was safe to touch did he try to pick it up without success. "Mr. Creevey was this great uncle a blood relative?" Harry asked.

After a moment's thought he replied, "I think he was a blood relative of Anna's though I wouldn't place any money on that without checking with her."

"Okay next question. Do you mind if Colin tries to pick this up?"

"Colin? If I can't pick this up and you can't what makes you think Colin can?"

"Call it a hunch. In fact just have him hold the handle while you try and pick it up," Harry replied.

"Okay. Colin you heard Harry. Do you want to give this a try?" Patrick asked his oldest son.

Colin didn't hesitate and a surprised Patrick Creevey found the trunk weighted only about a stone despite its appearance. Well that was as long as Colin kept a hand on the handle. "Okay what's going on here," Patrick inquired looking at Harry.

"Was her uncle a bit eccentric?" Harry asked.

"How did you know?"

"I believe Colin is not the first magical in your family," Harry replied only to stop as the trunk suddenly started to open on its own.

Patrick reacted fast pushing Colin behind him and while initially empty handed a pipe laying nearby found its way into his hand as he kept most of his attention focused on the opening trunk. When he could see the man emerging Patrick asked in an astonished voice, "Uncle William?"

"Patrick it's great to see you well to see anyone really. I was beginning to fear I'd never be found," The man now identified as Uncle William said.

"How…?" Patrick asked totally confused.

"If I had to guess I'd assume this is a magical trunk and he was somehow trapped in it," Harry said speaking up from the other side of the cellar from Patrick.

"That is pretty much what happened. Though I don't recognize you as family young man."

"Harry Potter sir, I attend Hogwarts with Colin and Dennis. Mr. Creevey ask me to help clear out your home," Harry said smiling at the situation.

"Ah yes, that is partially the reason I ended up trapped in my trunk. When You-know-who came along I moved totally into the Muggle world and had a good friend spread the word I'd died. I moved all my magical items in to this trunk after warding it every way I could think of. Though those anti-apparition anti-port-key wards were not such a good idea in hindsight."

A confused Colin asked, "But when Harry defeated him why didn't you go back into the magical world?"

"Ah, so you are that Harry, We must talk later. But to give Colin his answer by then I'd grown comfortable living as a muggle and while I agree somethings would be easier if I used magic. If I had the Ministry would have investigated as this is not registered as a magical house and I would have been discovered. That would have hindered me in several ways," William replied mysteriously.

"But Uncle how did you end up trapped in the trunk?" Patrick asked.

"I'd buried the trunk under this clutter and had to prop all that out of the way when I wanted to enter the trunk. I thought I'd done it properly but I guess once I was in something caused the clutter to shift forcing the trunk lid down and with all that weight on the top I couldn't lift the trunk lid. It's a good thing I had this trunk set up as a hide out, it has an ever full pantry and good sized rooms with plenty of reading material. Deciding there was nothing I could do about it I set alarms that would alert me if the lid was lifted or the trunk moved."

"What were you doing in the trunk Uncle William?" Dennis asked not wanting to be left out.

Uncle William didn't want anyone to know when Anna informed him Colin had received an invitation to an exclusive boarding school in Scotland that they couldn't say much about. He realized Colin would be attending his old school and had gone into the trunk to get him a present. Instead he said, "I was planning on taking a trip and debating using the trunk. I wanted to check and insure things inside were okay if I did decide to use it."

A chagrined Patrick looked at his great uncle saying, "I'm sorry Uncle William but as you were missing for three years. I've been cleaning out your house for the last week intending to lease it so I've taken a lot of stuff to the tip station."

"Dad we moved quite a bit to the storage unit too," Colin chipped in not wanting his great uncle mad at his father.

Uncle William put his hand on Patrick's shoulder saying, "Don't worry about it. If you hadn't been cleaning out my house you wouldn't have found me. I'll take whatever went missing as a wash. Now I only had the wizarding radio to listen to so I'll need to catch up on goings on in the muggle world but first I need to see my great niece and give her a hug and get one in return."

"Great idea, Boys let's head home, Anna's going to be at work for a bit longer and it's lunch time so what do you say to grabbing a bit of lunch before we head home?" Patrick asked.

The cheering that came was a bit louder than normal. Turning to see if Harry had finally joined in Patrick was surprised to see it wasn't Harry but Uncle William who was causing the extra noise. "Hey after three years of my own cooking. I'm ready to eat anything I didn't have to prepare," Uncle William said bringing laughs for everyone.

The End.